《QQQQ》Chapter 40 - With or Without, You Decide
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I realized that, apparently, hundreds of years ago, a trillion tiny shards of glass coated my body like sandspurs. I fell to the ground in pain, the pricks all over my body much too small to bleed, and too small for my nervous system to pick up on. Instead, this was like a direct attack on my soul. I had made Spacetime Bunny so small and numerous that her back-in-time attacks were going back centuries, and the damage compounds in a very unpleasant way.
I couldn’t see anything, my pupils were too full of ice-blue bits of rock-solid time to see anything other than out-of-context snapshots of history. Or maybe the future? I’m not sure those are two separate things anymore. I’m not sure there’s any separation of anything anymore.
I don’t know what the fuck is going on anymore. Or ever did, really. And I probably never will, if things keep going like this. I felt my time-spur covered hand reach around in emptiness again. The emptiness was now Bunny, which made things feel a little awkward. At least it didn’t feel like anything—if it did, then it wouldn’t be empty. I was losing consciousness from all the psychic (?) pressure being pressed into my body. Everything was going numb. Instead of just my hand reaching into the void, my whole body was slipping in.
No, not slipping —it was being pulled. My feet had fallen deep into the void already without me noticing. I could feel the boundary of nothing/something slowly creeping up my calves. I was uncontrollably fading out of existence. It didn’t hurt. Honestly, it felt kind of nice. Like a really warm massage now up to my knees. I wonder where my leg muscles connect to now, or where their veins are pumping blood to. Being partially nonexistent is weird.
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This is what they wanted this whole time, huh? The chromatic beasts, I mean. They want me gone from the universe. Hearing it said like that really rubbed me the wrong way at first, but now I’m not sure how much I hate it. Doing things was fun, for sure. But not doing anything for eternity could be kinda good, too.
I thought about it. I really did think about giving up. It would’ve been so easy, and so pleasant. But really, it’s not just about me anymore. Something’s still happening to Bunny. I can’t rest peacefully knowing that I couldn’t help her, after she’s been my bodyguard for so long. Hell, she killed a man for my sake. I wonder if he feels nice and warm right now like I do. Must be nice to finally get some rest. Too bad I still had work to do.
Tap, tap, tap.
I was too lost in my thoughts to notice that my shaky fingers had been tapping on something for a while now. There’s only one thing that it could be, and there was only one thing I could do. I wrapped my nonexistent fingers around the hilt of the Zebrasword and pulled it back into existence.
I had done this maneuver a few times before, but it was never quite this… extreme. It makes sense now, actually. The sword resides encased in nothingness. To get it out, I literally rip it through the void. But, I forgot—Spacetime Bunny is the void now. So I ripped the blade out of her. And she was everywhere, and everything.
The sound was atrocious. I can’t recount it or I’ll get sick. It echoed through Momo along with the sound of a torrential gush of blood. It poured from thin air, oozed out of the walls and all the products, and out of me as well. For a moment—all of the cosmos erupted in blood.
It ended up okay though. After a second it was back to normal. Must have something to do with the “time” part of “spacetime”.
Anyways, I don’t really care anymore. Moving on.
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to those who feel so utterly alone, ©2022 @uranium-girl/ tw: mental problems, self harm /highest ranking: #1 in poetry 02.02.2022
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