《QQQQ》Chapter 33 - A World Full of Freaks

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Biologist and I stood side by side with our mouths open. We were in total disbelief of what had just happened. Actually, let me choose my words carefully. We weren’t stunned at what “just happened”, but stunned by what we just did. Limp on the ground by our feet was the lifeless, splattered corpse of Bunny.

Given our current situation, you may not find that particularly alarming. We had just been chased through the mall by a knife-happy Bunny, and even if she was dead, there were still at least a hundred still alive and well.

This is true. Our problem is entirely different, not at all related to the number of Bunnys. Let me explain what happened, and let me choose my words carefully, in case I need to recount them in front of a jury.

After we had escaped from the video game store, it was a scramble around for another place to hide. Our eventual resting spot was in the weirdly empty hallway to some restrooms. We managed to catch our breath there for about five minutes.

"Mina, why is there no one here but us?"

"Every mall seems to have corridors that are just empty. I don't know why."

"Maybe we're using it correctly. It could be for refuge from violence."

"God, I sure hope not. Is your impression of human society so severe that you think we need shelters from violence in every building?”

"Well—”

“Please don’t answer that.”

I decided I’d do some careful reconnaissance and peek around some corners. I even took my sneakers off to be perfectly silent. I won’t mention what happened with the combo of slippery floor and slick socks. I also got a bit lost on my way back, the corridors really were that labyrinthine. Anyway, no sign of Murderbunny (but still plenty of other Bunnys). When I met back up with Biologist, I couldn’t do anything but let out a sigh.

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“Bio.”

“Yes?”

“What the hell is this?”

“It’s a trap.”

There was a purple semisolid goop strung from the walls in a net-like pattern. It looked kinda like a soccer goal, but slimier. The rest of the hall was totally blocked off by it. Before I could ask any follow-up questions, Biologist invited me to give it a try myself.

“Go on, see if you can get past it!”

“Uh… No.”

“Come on, I just made this! I need to know if it works!”

“Nope. Not touching it.”

“Pleeeeaaaasssseeee~?”

We went on like that for a couple minutes, but something in me finally caved. (Why is it always her making me give in?) I limbered up and took my runner’s stance about 20 feet from the net. Then, with all my might, I charged slam into it like bug onto a windshield. In retrospect, I probably should have not done this for several reasons. For one, this is clearly the violet beast Biologist always carried around, which was a creation designed exclusively to kill me... as was Biologist. If this was a long-con to let down my guard and off me in the stupidest way possible, it probably would have worked. Thank God that wasn’t what it was.

As soon as I touched it, the goopy net wrapped up my whole body. I fell onto the floor in a thump, totally bound as if I was tied in rope. Biologist laughed and cheered.

“Hey, it really works! It really does work! Yeaaahhh~!”

“Ok cool great thanks can we get this off now?”

It took her longer than it should’ve, but Biologist did something to make the purple thing instantly shrink back into its original size. She explained a bit to ease my confusion.

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“After studying it some more, I’ve learned that this purple thing is actually a bit more mechanical than organic in nature. It can be manipulated to do certain things by bending its ‘loop’ a little. I’ve done some tinkering with its prime directive to make it more useful for us, like that net. I would have used it earlier, but the mall rooms are too big for it to be of any use.”

“Oh, wow, really? Did you make it not want to kill me?”

“Umm, no. It still wants to do that. Really badly. It just doesn’t have any means to do so. But, uh, yeah, I’ll try to have a look into that for you. Sorry.”

Just when I thought she might have had a reliable side after all. But still, this net thing was better than nothing. At least it was a net thing. I blinked once, and now she was swinging it around like a lasso.

“I can use it in this mode too, if my aim is good enough.”

“Let’s stick to the other one for now, Sheriff—”

Immediately, my eyes grew wide. I didn’t need to say anything for Bio to understand what had happened: there were footsteps down the hall. We ducked behind a corner to hopefully catch Murderbunny by surprise. That’s the only way a net trap like this would work.

Tap, tap, tap…

The footsteps were slower than I was anticipating. Before, Murderbunny was in a mad sprint. Why’s she taking her time now? Maybe she has no idea we’re here, and is in her “idle” mode. That’s the way video games work, at least.

We held our breaths and anticipated the incoming footsteps. She was getting closer for sure, but how close was she right now? It was hard to tell, but there was no way I was sticking my neck out to see. I just hope Biologist has good reflexes.

And yeah, she did. Too fast for her own good. Before I could even see what was happening — and before even Biologist saw what was happening, the purple net was cast. It ensnared Bunny just as effectively as we had hoped, but there was an immediate problem. Bunny’s lithe hand had slipped through a hole in the net and grabbed Biologist’s wrist. She twisted it in a very un-wrist-like direction, causing a yelp of pain from the shocked Biologist.

Alright, the plan was going South. Bunny had Biologist pinned down underneath her, and I think I heard some bones crack. But I had an ace up my sleeve. A new trick I haven’t shown anyone yet. It’s a little technique I figured out on my own time, and it has the potential to turn the tide of any situation I could possibly be faced with. That, or, uh… It’ll just kill me on the spot.

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