The tree was old oak and rubbed rough on Alyss' back through her blouse, but she didn’t care. The ground was dirty and would be hell to wash out of the long skirt the game had given her if she had any intention of keeping it, which she didn’t. The journal felt heavy in her hands, leather, and paper, neither treated nor bleached, just as she liked them. Beams of sunlight shone through gaps in the canopy, and a faint breeze carried the scent of fresh grass and forest compost.

Alyss took a moment to just soak it in.

Feeling indulgent, she then took another. Then several more. She eventually stopped counting and just resigned herself to having probably stolen the entire cookie jar’s worth of relaxing moments.

Somewhere off in the distance, a bird started singing.

A fly landed on her nose.

“Right!” Alyss said out loud, swatting the insect away. “That’s enough soaking. Time to learn how to make money!”

She opened the journal.

Instantly, everything changed. The light shining through the canopy faded, the faint breeze cooled, sending a chill down her spine, and the smells of the forest vanished.

It was the year of plenty, boomed a deep voice.

Alyss was instantly on her feet, all thoughts of reading forgotten. She anxiously waited for more, but it didn’t come. The forest lightened again, and the smells and warmth returned.

She looked down at the book in her hands. In her surprise, she’d slammed it shut.

Feeling rather foolish, she settled back down on her rock with her back to the tree, and, now better prepared, opened the journal again.

It was the year of plenty, boomed the voice again, followed quickly by the light dimming and the air cooling. And all across the land, the races of magic lived in harmony with each other. Great kingdoms were built and heroes defended the weak.

Alyss realized the voice was reading the words on the page, which was actually kind of annoying, as she could read a lot faster than speaking speed.

But of all the heroes of the great kingdoms, there was always one who stood out among the others. They who held the task of keeping the seven ruby pillars of binding active — to keep the forces of darkness banished from the world — the undead, the demons, the 'rin’seti', and the ones from over there.

“Seven ruby pillars,” Alyss muttered, “And that hero is me, right?”

And that hero was… The Guardian!

“Nailed it.”

My name is Roth, forever after to be known as the failed guardian. I write these words in the hope that one day a new guardian will come to the great kingdoms — to put right what I let go so very wrong. It was me and my hubris that saw the first ruby pillar destroyed. The six others were guarded by the six great kingdoms, led by noble warrior kings of powerful magic, and backed up by large standing armies. The first ruby pillar though was guarded only by myself in my tower. This was a mistake.

Alyss snorted. “You think?”

A shadowy cabal with designs on the great kingdoms attacked the tower one night, let in by one of my own pupils! I fought with all my years of training and experience, but I was no match against an army. The pillar was shattered and a wave of dark magic pulsed across the world. It was all downhill from there. I tried to stem the tide, but fresh from their home planes, the dark ones were strong. One after another, the kingdoms fell, and soon all the pillars had cracked, leaving the world a husk of its former self.

“Okay, so big evil stuff happens, and now the world is evil. How do I fight against evil if evil has already won?”

Hope is now gone for me, but I swear, one day, it will re-kindle. Five-hundred years from now, the darkness will weaken. Then, and only then, may the pillars be once again restored, and the forces of evil pushed back from this plane. I pledge you, new guardian, if you are reading this, restore the ruby pillar at the top of my tower, build a village around the tower, now your tower, to defend it, and reach out into the world, to the shattered remains of the once great six kingdoms. Find the lost royal blood-lines, if they still live, and restore them to their former glory.

“Restore pillars, found village, reach out, help re-build kingdoms, win the game, gotcha.”

But beware! As each new pillar is activated, and your power as the guardian grows, so too your enemies will become more determined and ruthless. Now, go forth!

The chill in the air receded and the light came back, shining golden beams once again through the leaves in the canopy above. The book shuddered in Alyss’ hands and fell silent.

Alyss nodded to herself. All very interesting, but it didn’t give her any clue about how one might go about making money. Real books didn’t just show up as this one did.

Now without the old man’s booming voice shouting in her ear, she continued to read in the traditional, and, in her opinion, better style. Passages leaped out at her, some important, others less so, but all the while the subject that truly interested her, eluded her scrutiny.

Unlike other games, restart does not use base stats, such as strength or dexterity, Instead, your effectiveness is determined by your skills alone.

But how do I make money? Alyss thought.

Many skills have crossover applications with other skills. For example, increasing your ‘bench press’ skill will increase the effectiveness of your ‘sword swing’ skill, but will do little for your ‘sprint’ skill.

But how do I make money?

You can see the skills map by saying, ‘skills map,’ out loud.

“Skills map.”

A huge spider’s web made of stars filled Alysss vision.

“Whoa.”

The majority of the map was covered in vision-clouding fog, but she could make out one lighted circle in the middle. After some experimentation with her hands, she figured out how to zoom in to a little chibi picture of herself sticking out her tongue while standing on a star that said, ‘Restart’. Eight glowing lines spread out from the center circle, each one a different color, each heading into a different skill type, and each illuminating the first mandatory skill to level up from that category.

Alyss closed the skill menu. “Yes,” she practically shouted. “But — how — do — I — make — money?!”

Economy — how to make money

“Thank you! Finally!”

Once restored to their glory, however, you wish to achieve that, each of the six kingdoms can construct a building called the Player Marketplace — a closed instance in which players can trade with each other, cross world. Great fortunes can be made in the market place, for those with the knowledge of the way. A Player Marketplace is also required to transfer in-game currency to your ID bracelet (Note: Game augmented skills do not work in the market place)

Alyss tapped her chin. “So, the big money will likely be made through trade with other players… that makes sense.” Getting one of these marketplaces built would be a top priority so she knew what she was working with. And that required restoring at least one of the six kingdoms. And she couldn’t do that until she’d built up her own village somewhat. She smiled impishly and climbed to her feet. It looked like she’d simply have to make do with adventuring in her very own litRPG setting until then.

There wasn’t anything left to read, so she slapped the journal shut, and the moment she did a prompt filled her vision.

— Ding —

You have finished reading ‘The Failed Guardian’s Last Journal’

You gain 5 XP

Certain actions, such as defeating enemies, completing works of art, or reading important books, grant XP. Gain XP to level up. Level up to gain skill points. Invest skill points to become the woman you always wanted to be.

Alyss just managed to stifle a squeal of joy — then realized there was no one around and so let it out anyway. Her very first prompt! Just like in the really old-school stories from the founding of the genre.

— Bong —

You have reached level one!

You have gained one skill point

Skill points granted per level increases with each level achieved

— Fwoosh —

You have completed a main story-line quest

The Failed Guardian: Discover what the Guardian is, and what the world now expects of you. What you do from here, is up to you.

You gain 5 XP

Quest reward: Old Skill Book

Main storyline quests are not shown in advance and do not appear in the quest log. You must follow your heart, mind, or soul to discover them, and will only understand the consequences of your choices after the fact. The world is not black and white, but only shades of grey.

—Fwoosh—

A new quest has been added to your quest journal

Time To Skill Up: Use the skill book to improve one skill of your choice.

To access your quest journal, say, ‘Quest Journal,’ out loud.

Quest reward: 5XP and a little something extra

Prompt after prompt filled Alyss’ vision. She read them all quickly, then stared down at the grass in front of her where another old book had materialized out of thin air and dropped to the ground with a quiet thunk.

Grinning from ear to ear, she snatched it up.

Suddenly, the world went weird. There was a terrible feeling of wrongness, like waking up to the sensation of falling, only to realize you’re still in bed. Alyss clutched at her chest, her breathing had suddenly jumped up by a hundred percent, and stared at the last prompt.

Some of the words had jumbled themselves up into a mess of incomprehensibility. It now reads:

—Fwoosh—

A new ********** been ********** to your *********

Time To Skill Up: Use the ****&&&***** to improve one skill of your choice.

To access your **********+ , say, ‘Quest Journal,’ out *******.

“A bug?” Alyss asked, incredulous. “Oh, please don’t tell me I’m about to trapped in the game. Or slowly lose my mind as an NPC.” She smirked. “Or maybe I’ll get some awesome OP ability. That would be nice.”

She opened the book and stared. Then she cursed.

Old *$££$£$$£ Book

&%%^%££@£*

-1 to any skill of your choosing.

***$$%$$&^^&

Most of the book text was unreadable, but the one line that was clear made it obvious that her reward was worse than useless. “Minus one to any skill?” Alyss all but shouted into the crisp, beautiful, forest air. “MINUS ONE?” She tried to throw the book away, but another prompt appeared, along with the book, back in her rather pissed off hands.

— Fwoosh —

Quests in the tutorial cannot be abandoned. You must complete these quests to complete the tutorial. The tutorial will complete once the first ruby pillar has been re-activated.

“Son of a bitch!”

Still cursing under her breath, Alyss brought up the skill map again, in all its star-lit glory.

“Okay,” she muttered under her breath. “So, which of these is the least useful skill?” There were eight available, each one the first stepping stone into one of the eight skill categories: Physical Combat, Magic, Diplomacy, Trade, Culture, Crafting, Subtlety, and Love. The eight skills she could access for each of the categories were: Punch, Magic Arrow, Lie, Haggle, Sing, Knit, Sense Direction, and Flirt.

She also saw she could invest as many skill points into each skill as she wanted, to increase its effectiveness, although presumably there was some theoretical cap.

Alyss paced up and down the tree line, looking at each option in turn, and carefully weighing just how much she didn’t care.

In the end, it came down to a photo finish between flirting and knitting, both skills she could easily do without. In the end, knitting carried the day, in part because she was kind of interested in crafting, and wanted to see what else lay ahead in the skill tree, just not in knitting.

Still feeling annoyed at the game for forcing her to make this kind of stupid choice, she pressed her hand on the book and selected knitting.

Her brain exploded. Not literally of course, but it certainly felt that way. It felt like a hundred angry buffalo had decided to go on a stampede down corpus callosum canyon. Or a thousand hungry armadillos had mistaken her parietal lobe for a sandpit made of sugar-coated worms.

She knelt there, panting on the wet grass on her hands and knees, her skirt now very much in need of the wash that she had no intention of giving it.

Eventually, her mind stopped feeling like ten-thousand resident male ants had all simultaneously spotted their queen metaphorically heading off to the shower with a suggestive look over her shoulder, and was able to process what the hell had just happened.

— Ding —

Congratulations! You have reached level 999 in knitting.

High above the forest treetops, birds took flight in startled alarm at the cry of rage and frustration pouring out from below them. A Griffin, perched on a craggy mountainside, many miles away, started and settled down protectively on her eggs. And a party of goblins hunting deer by a faraway stream all went prone as the fearsome predator’s howl of anguish sounded across the land, warning all who heard it that something they did not want to meet was having a very, very bad day.

“WHY?!” Alyss screamed, thumping the now lifeless book with her small fists. “WHY? WHY? WHY?” She could have been the most badass magic-missile wielding mage the world would ever see. She could have the most masterful liar or a legendary haggler. Hell, even being a mythic flirt would have been better.

DreamScape glitches like that were the stuff of whispered legend. She would never see another like it in her entire life. And she’d wasted it on, “Fucking knitting!? Are you actually kidding me!?”

—Fwoosh—

You have completed a quest

Time To Skill Up: Use the skill book to improve one skill of your choice.

You gain 5 XP

You have started down the path of the craftsman — Here’s a little something to get you started.

Quest Reward: 2x Steel Knitting Needle

—Ding—

You have found 2x Steel Knitting Needle

Quality: Common (sharp, but nothing special)

Damage type: Piercing

Base damage: 1-2

Example skills which make use of this item: Thrust, Stab, Knit

The two knitting needles clattered down on the ground in front of Alyss’ dropped head, still on her hands and knees, her hair spreading out all over the ground, now at risk of getting just as dirty as her clothes.

Alyss allowed herself to wallow in despair for opportunities missed for another five minutes before raising her head, climbing to one knee, and grabbing both needles like they were three months behind on their rent. She then climbed to her feet the rest of the way and held the knitting needles at her sides as though they were twin rapiers.

“Right!” she declared to the empty clearing. “Utterly stupid skills aside. What now?”

As if in answer to her question, three more prompts filled her vision, one after the other:

—Fwoosh—

A new quest has been added to your quest journal

Setting up base: Clear the Guardian’s Tower of enemies and reactivate the first ruby pillar

Rewards: 10 XP + One Skill Book + Village Tools Unlocked

—Fwoosh—

A new quest has been added to your quest journal

Adventures are more fun with friends: Find a friend to help found your village

Rewards: 10 XP + One Skill Book + Follower Tools Unlocked

—Fwoosh—

A new quest has been added to your quest journal

Investigate your domain: Find all the border stones that mark the domain of the Guardian’s Tower.

Rewards: 10 XP + One skill Book + Map Unlocked

“Mmm…” Alyss put a finger on her chin. “Well, right now I do feel a serious need to stab something, so clear the tower it’s going to be.”

**** Restart ****

The imp of the first floor polished his dagger in anticipation of the final showdown. He wasn’t anticipating much, however. The Guardian’s Tower had been in the hands of his master for nearly five-hundred years, and there hadn’t been a final showdown yet. And since there wasn’t a good reason why the final showdown had to be this afternoon, after he’d finished polishing his dagger, he waddled over to the little kitchen and cut himself a slice of homemade fruit cake. The trees around the tower were so abundant at this time of year.

As if to taunt him, an alarm went off and the front door creaked open.

WARNING, boomed a loud voice.

You have entered the Guardian’s Tower. You have ten minutes before reinforcements are summoned.

The imp cursed, snatched at his dagger, and turned, plate still in his other hand. He found himself face to face, not with some great warrior, but rather with a lanky-looking human female. She had long hair the color of mud and a rather angular face, although his brother upstairs would probably say that her nose more than made up for it — a perfect button shape — very feminine — and her eyes were like gimlets. She was also wielding two pointed sticks of metal, which his rather limited knowledge of humanity identified as cloth-making tools.

He gave her an indulgent smile. “Human female walked in the wrong door, did she? Easy mistake. Many doors around here. Hehe.” He laughed at his own joke. “Perhaps she would like cake?”

The woman looked cautiously at the cake while advancing towards him. “Is it poisoned?”

“Poisoned, yes. The human female is wise to ask. High in sugar, fat, sodium, and primary allergens, all highly processed, and quite lethal in high quantities over many years — obesity, heart failure, diabetes, and many more.” The imp took a large bite out of the cake, swallowed, and sighed in utter bliss. “So good.”

He was in such bliss, in fact, that he didn’t spot the two knitting needles coming straight for his head until it was too late.

**** Restart ****

Critical hit x2!

You hit Imp for 8 damage

Imp dies

You gain 2 XP

Critical hits occur when you strike an enemy in vulnerable locations. Improving attack skills makes landing these hits more reliable.

Alyss panted as she watched the foul little pot-bellied creature topple over with her needles lodged right in its forehead — a hard target to aim for. The cake-filled plate crashed onto the floor, along with several coins, which she happily scooped up.

You have found 2 copper pieces

Not waiting around to inspect anything else, she bolted over to the spiral stone staircase that circled the tower’s edge and started to climb. The quest text hadn’t said anything about being on a timer! Damn it. If she’d known, she’d have prepared a bit more thoroughly. Not only that, but she didn’t have a clock or anything, so there wasn’t any way to know how long left she had.

Eight minutes remaining, boomed the loud voice.

Well, that solved that.

Alyss arrived at the door to the next floor, shoved it open with her shoulder, and stumbled into the room, knitting needles at the ready.

She was, however, certainly not ready for what she saw.

“Hello there, lover,” said what had to be both the buffest and tallest imp Alyss had ever seen, as well as the most well endowed. Unlike the foul little thing downstairs, this… male… looked like it had been carved from marble by some genius ancient sculpture. It was lying naked on a bed of red silk with flower petals strewn around it, deep black eyes firmly locked with hers. “And I must say, you have the cutest nose I’ve ever seen on a human.”

Alyss just stared, her own eyes wide.

“I want to love you,” the imp purred. “I want to know you as no man has ever known you before. I want to take you.”

That was enough to break Alyss from her spell. Several quick steps to the bed and several vicious strikes later had the imp screaming in pain. Loverboy hadn’t even been armed.

Critical hit x2

You hit Imp for 6 damage

Critical hit x2

You hit Imp for 6 damage

Imp dies.

You gain 2 XP

Hitting the vulnerable spot this time had not been hard at all, and by the time she was done, neither was the vulnerable spot.

You have found 2 copper pieces

Again Alyss bolted for the stairs.

Seven minutes remaining, boomed the voice.

She was making good time at least.

Another shoulder smash into the next door found her stumbling into a room much different from the one below. While the room below had been like some playboy’s medieval boudoir, this room looked like it had been cut from some medieval banker’s office. The imp in the middle of the room gave Alyss an unimpressed once over. He was wearing black robes, embodied with gold, and again, Alyss couldn’t spot a weapon.

“A pleasure to meet you, Miss?” The question hung in the air.

“Alyss.”

“Miss Alyss. What a delightful name.”

Alyss was already half-way to the imp, knitting needles firmly in hand when it threw up an urgent hand. “I can tell you more about the player markets!”

Alyss stilled. Was this a trick? How did he know she wanted to know? Come to that… “How do you know about the player markets?” she asked. “You’re an NPC — a demon — cannon fodder in the tutorial zone.”

The robbed imp chuckled. “We travel across all the worlds, Miss Alyss. Some worlds we lose in, true, but in other worlds, we win.” He licked his lips. “Will we win in yours, I wonder?”

That gave Alyss pause to think. The idea that all the demons and other evil forces that fought over the player worlds were all in connection with one another was actually a rather unsettling thought. She raised her knitting needles.

“I can give you information,” the imp said quickly, raising its other hand so that both were raised in supplication. “But I will require a trade.”

“Your life in exchange,” Alyss said quickly.

The imp licked its lips. “As it so happens, that is exactly what I was going to propose. I’m so glad we’re on the same wavelength, so to speak.”

“Go on,” Alyss said.

“During the early times, the first player guardians bought and sold everything in the markets, but it quickly became obvious that most common resources, the guardians could always find in their own worlds — wood, stone, metals, etc, but the one resource that they could never easily flood the market with was high-level crafted magical items, especially ones with unique magical effects. These items require very high skill levels in both magic and crafting, so most players will never reach the levels required to make them, and are willing to trade huge quantities to get them.”

Alyss nodded. It was valuable information. “Is that all?”

The imp nodded.

Alyss lowered her needles and pointed to the door. “Then leave.”

The imp walked behind her, and Alyss realized her mistake a split second too late — a split second before a blinding pain stabbed her in the back.

“Fool!” the imp snarled. “Did you really think I would trade so easily like that with a guardian?! Greed is your downfall!”

Pained, screaming, Alyss flailed wildly, trying to dislodge the evil creature where it had what felt like a dagger shoved right into between one of her shoulder blades. One particularly wild swing threw it across the room, and another desperate reach around and yank, found her with the cruel looking weapon in hand, red blood dripping from the blade. The game might not have pain levels the same as the real world, but it still hurt like the dickens.

Imp crits you for 9 damage

You are low on health

The imp was already back on its feet and bouncing from foot to foot like a boxer. Another dagger had already found its way into its hands, slipping out from the depths of its robes.

Alyss darted forward with all the elegance one would expect from a lanky nerd. It did the job though. The imp screamed as her knitting needles found their way repeatedly into its body, trading its certain death for only a minor scratch in return.

You hit Imp for 4 damage

You hit Imp for 2 damage

You hit Imp for 3 damage

Imp hits you for 2 damage

You hit Imp for 3 damage

Imp dies

You gain 2 XP

Panting, Alyss stood over the downed imp and wearily glanced to what she hoped was the final set of stairs leading to the top the of the tower. Then she glanced back at the imp.

You have found 5 copper pieces

You have found rough black imp robes

After a bit of searching, Alyss found her status window. She had only 4 HP left and no way to heal herself.

Five minutes remaining, boomed the voice.

Shit. What should she do? There was no doubt any ‘final boss’ was going to be harder, and she’d already taken 11 damage fighting this bastard. If she was going to win, she’d have to win while taking zero damage. But that was going to be a tall order. After all, she only had one real extraordinary skill, and that was freakin’ knitting.

Alyss looked at her knitting needles. Then she looked at the black robe the imp had just dropped. Then back at her needles again.

**** Restart ****

The top floor imp checked the sand timer that had turned over the moment the intruder had entered the tower. It wasn’t a perfect defense system by any means, but they had to work with what the gods had given them, and what the gods had given them, was this. A huge obelisk-like ruby stone was mounted in a metal trestle in the center of the room.

With any luck, his subordinates would have sufficiently weakened the new guardian, such that his task would be that much easier.

The door creaked open.

The top floor imp hefted his ax.

What walked through the door was not what he’d expected. A human female, brandishing two knitting needles, already loaded with course-looking black thread — a thread which trailed up around her person and ended in a perfect ball hanging from one ear.

Anger pooled in his gut. “Is… this… a… joke?!” he roared.

The woman edged closer. “I am not a joking kind of person,” she said.

The imp snarled. “Then I have nothing to say to you.” And he lunged.

He did not expect the needles to jab at him as if possessed by one of the greater demons. He did not expect to find his ax pulled from his grasp by simple yarn, coiling and re-coiling around him, like some terrible serpent, and he most certainly did not expect to find himself hoisted up in the air by one of the tower beams, arms tied behind his back, legs tied together, knotted and stitched, and the case of his fingers, actually plaited.

“What is this?!” he shouted, totally immobile, swinging and helpless.

“The greatest guardian to ever live,” the woman said. “I am the legendary knitter.”

That was the last thing he saw before two needles plunged into his face and his world went red, and then black.

**** Restart ****

“Oh my god!” Alyss cried out, panting wildly with her hands on her knees. “How badass was that?!”

A sea of prompts filled her vision, but she dismissed them to deal with later.

Four minutes remaining, boomed the voice.

“Oh, right. Got to complete the quest.” Alyss hurried over to the ruby pillar and placed a hand on it. Another prompt appeared.

—Ding—

Do you want to activate the first ruby pillar?

[Yes] or [No]

Alyss hit [Yes].

The whole room shook. Alyss stood back, alarmed, as the pillar began to glow. Then, a bright red light shot up into the air, right through a hole in the roof of the tower, and up into the open sky above.

—Fwoosh—

You have completed a quest

Setting up base: Clear the Guardian’s Tower of enemies and reactivate the first ruby pillar

Rewards: 10 XP + One Skill Book + Village Tools Unlocked

Alyss grinned.

— End of Chapter Three —