First a slice of bread. Then a generous spoonful of mayonnaise. It will help that slice of tomato stay in place. On top of that a handful of some tiny green stuff Joe sometimes ate. No idea what it was but it added nice spiciness and, even though she preferred meat, the sandwich did not taste that good without it. What else... Right, cheese. A slice or two, okay three. Then a chunk of juicy, grilled meat. Some more mayonnaise. A ring of that stinky white thing that burned her eyes. A fat serving of boiled and smoked bacon. Sprinkle that with a chopped pickle and cover the entire thing with another slice of bread. Done.

Proud of herself, Savile grinned from ear to ear, happy that she somehow managed to recreate the magical sandwich Joe once shared with her. All that’s left was to squash the ginormous thing and shove it inside her mouth before other girls can smell it out.

Useless and annoying as he were, Joe’s cooking grew on her. She began to salivate just at the thought of that thing he called spaghetti. It wasn’t much. Some minced meat. A bucket of chopped tomatoes and some herbs. But gods, the taste, the synergy. Never in her life had she something so tasty.

“Open up! I know you’re in there! I know you have a sandwich! I can smell it! By master’s orders you shall share it with me!”

Thumping against the locked and barricaded door with her fist, Neira made the entire building bounce, shake and tremble. No way in hell, the knight thought, swallowing the entire thing with one gulp. The only way to protect her spoils from that gluttonous psycho. No time to chew or anything.

“Open up and give me that sandwich!”

“mmmm ‘ev nn’dea waaa yyymm”

Savile mumbled with a full mouth trying to swallow the evidence. Those were the last two bits of bread they had in master’s inventory.

All but too late. Her improvised barricade alongside the door and a big chunk of the wall, transformed into a cloud of burning splinters.

“How dare you! That was my sandwich!”

Savile ducked her head, letting out a horrified mep. Just the sight of Neira’s flying fist was enough to trigger her final fortress skill. Though, even with that active she wasn’t sure if her body could survive one of those insane punches. Although... She just realized her mistake. Knowing the way that furball fought. The combinations her companion used... oh gods, she will follow that with an upper kick.

Even if Joe’s orders forbade them from harming each other, just the air pressure created by that muscular leg approaching her face would be enough to rip off her armor and maul her freshly reassembled body.

But the world had none of that. In a flash of light their inn vanished while the demi found herself suspended somewhere among the clouds.

“Not this again.”

She sighed with a sinking feeling of déjà vu when gravity remembered her existence. Seconds later, her body made a formidable mushroom cloud as it landed somewhere in a forest.

*DING!*

Coin toss failed. Meat Shield skill could not discard damage.

*DING*

Warning! Massive blunt trauma received! Skill Tough Body absorbed 1000 damage! Skill Tough Body resisted 3651 damage! Skill Final Fortress resisted 8519 Damage! You have received 3651 Falling damage! Status: Internal bleeding -60hp/min

Well, could’ve been worse. She thought, coughing up blood.

Then Joe used her body as a cushion against his own fall.

***

“Child, stop that. it is annoying.”

Old and tired voice whispered softly in her cell making her heart skip a beat. Squeezing herself into the farthest corner of her tiny cell, Loirra prostrated herself before her olden god. Her mind locked into a frantic prayer.

“Child, you are testing my patience and ruining your knees. Not to mention your back. Stop it at once and get up. Leave mumbling nonsense for those of little faith.”

“Oh lord I beg thee, leave this unworthy servant...yip!”

Clonk!

Loirra yowled and jumped away, trying to fuse her back with the damp wall of her basement cell. Between her ears, large, bald hump the size of an apple sprouted up where her lord clonked her with his cane.

“Never sell yourself short. Never let others determine your value.”

She’ll die, she’ll die for sure now. A sinner like herself to be in the presence of her god. Not only that she had looked at his face. What worse she even ate with the spoon he used. The spoon... he had it in his mouth. It touched his divine lips... and then she used it... death, shall await her but can death wash away such blasphemy?

CLONK!

Loirra meowled in pain as another bump grew at the top of the one already there. Her god’s heavenly staff had once more slammed her skull.

“Child, when will you come to your senses! That is not the way I thought my followers to behave! Have I not sad...”

She clamped her ears with her paws. The god’s voice should not fill her ears. She was unbefitting of his revelations. The holy scriptures clearly said that only one of...

*CLOOOOOOOOOOONK!!!*

When her world stopped spinning and shining stars left her eyes, Loirra felt the third bump grow atop the two already present there. How could her god be so violent towards her?! The scriptures... never said... the scriptures? Try as she might, she could not recall a single one of them. All those prayers, sermons, all the commandments, rules and laws, gone. Nothing came to her mind. It was as if twelve years of her apprenticeship vanished without a trace. So did her fear. She slumped under the wall and sat there pondering why she had panicked but a moment ago.

“Have you calmed yourself my child?”

A god asked her. Her god. Her god standing before her in her tiny, damp cell. Her god standing before her at an arm’s length. The one she loved above everything. Tears of joy filled her eyes. Oh, how she wished to fall to his knees and kiss his feet that blessed her dingy cell. Though, a tiny voice inside her head told her that would be inappropriate and that she should just sit and listen.

“Yes, my lord. Thy servant is listening.”

She gathered herself and sat seiza style while her shining eyes focused on her god. Kunfayo sighed. What a stubborn one. When was the last time one of his children required three hits? Osha was the last one to give him this much trouble but that was entire millennia ago. However, compared to Osha, this one knew how to listen.

“Do you understand why I have done it?”

The spoke in a stern voice, making the bony priestess shiver. The answer came easily to her mind as if a veil fell off her eyes and she saw the mistakes in her way.

“Because I looked but did not see, because I heard but did not listen. I put twisted ramblings of mortals over the voice of my god.”

Impressive what could her mind gather when freed of the chains of false knowledge. Kunfayo’s face softened and he extended his arm to his child.

“Come, walk with me.”

Loirra took his arm and holding him like she would hold one of the elders she used to guide in the village, she let the elder god guide her.

“Weary grown my ears of pain and suffering of people.”

People. Just people. Not, my people. The priestess realized as the walked through towns, villages and cities. All drowning in sorrows and pain. All devoured by endless corruption spilling from those that were meant to guide them. Kings, queens, emperors, priests and prophets. All twisted and spreading lies while people suffered.

Even great temples she admired from afar were no different. Evil and corruption spread from the altars like a caustic river of stinky sewage.

“What should I do, I have asked myself. What should I do to help those whose screams rumble in heavens?”

“Send me, o Lord!”

“What can a drop of clean water do in an ocean of manure? No. Those people do not deserve your mercy my child. No. One shall first get rid one’s house of the source of stench before attempting to clean it otherwise all work shall turn to naught.”

Kunfayo paused and gazed at his priestess. He knew she would effect whatever he would ask of her. Turn his word into her power and will. No. He would not demand such sacrifice of her. He would do what he did best. Others have already put the wheels of fate spinning; he shall keep them in motion.

“Child, I have other task for you.”

Her god spoke once more as they arrived somewhere amid a forest along a stack of unconscious people tossed one over the other. Two demis and two humans. One man and three females.

Loirra’s eyes grew larger. She knew them. Those were the people that saved her village.

“If you wish to serve me, ensure this man shall reach the end of his journey, no matter where it would take him.”

Her lord pointed at the man reeking of death and sandwiched between two unconscious demi. Odd black slime dripped from his bruised body.

“Send me o Lord and I shall go wherever you word takes me.”

She answered with a conviction only her heart could muster.

“Then go. From now on follow this man as your master.”

*DING!*

You have become temporary property of Joe. You may cancel this bond at your will.

The bony priestess shivered as the slave seal engraved itself inside her soul. But she felt no fear. Her god stood beside her. She would not disappoint him!

Such faith. It warmed Kunfayo’s heart.

“Speak child, what reward would you seek for this task?”

“Lord, you have taken away what corrupted me. At the same time, now I do not know how I should pray to you. O merciful lord, please teach me!”

She bowed deeply before him, the bumps on her head swaying with each movement she made. The elder god put his hand over her head and healed it.

“My child, pray with your hands as you had done so before. Your life well lived is the sweetest prayer. As for your reward, I shall await your wish when you find one.”

Saing so, Kunfayo put his palm under her chin and lift her head up.

“Take diligent care of your idiot master. He shall need lots of it.”

With tears in her eyes, Loirra watched her god fade away from her view. Her god had given her a task through which she could help so many. Tears of joy dripped down her muzzle.

But how could she be of use to her new master?

Bath.

Her nose answered her inquiry.

Her master needed a bath right away.