*DING!*

Congratulations, you have won!

“THAT IS CHEATING.”

“W-wha? I swear I did not! Please believe me!”

Joe trembled in fear under her cold gaze. It’s been five hundred seventy sixth turn and against all logic, he has won. After five hundred seventy-five consecutive losses, Joe has bet ten years of him prancing around in that, ungodly miscreation of his making and, he has won.

Just when she was about to finish him, the batteries in her controller died, allowing him to execute a perfect combo and score a fatality.

What were the odds of that? Something like one in a million… oh.

Perhaps she shouldn’t have taken that bet.

“HOW ABOUT A REMATCH FOR THE PRICE OF ONE EXTRA YEAR OF YOUR LIFE? SUCH OFFER MAY NOT REPEAT ITSELF.”

“Emmm, that’s tempting but I think this is as far as I go.”

Joe hastily went through his skill menu and set the item in question to crafting. He wasn’t sure how that worked but the space over his palm shivered, and a black box tied with a pink ribbon appeared in his grasp.

“DING!”

You have created a masterpiece of perversion before which even DEATH trembles!

Bound item.

Cannot be sold or transferred to other individuals.

Binds upon equipping.

Once equipped, cannot be removed for 24 hours.

“Here you go. The item is inside. Open the box and you’ll get a size that fits you.”

For a moment Death stood frozen with the box resting on her palm. Considering all her options, she summoned her scythe.

“W-wait a minute! We’ve made a bet! I won fair and square!”

“INDEED, WE HAD AND I SHALL OBEY THE RULES HOWEVER,”

She cut him with her scythe.

“THERE IS NO NEED FOR YOU TO WITNESS IT.”

And that was the last Joe saw of her. Bright light covered his view as Death reached for the ribbon.

Many years later, Garugo, a scribe of his excellency Theodoric the third, noted that during this day, not a single living being died. It was the day Death vanished for entire twenty-four hours. A fact some lesser minds tried to abuse for their advantage. Next day brought predictable results and countless funeral pyres.

***

*DING!*

You are no longer within a superposition. Best you find some pants now.

Joe moaned, conveying the pain in his neck he earned after siting still for seventy-two hours. While nobody bothered to move his body, someone did erect a tent around him. A small blessing given the sorry state of his attire.

He allowed himself to collapse onto his side then, after catching his breath, he rolled onto his back.

“If you came to gloat, be my guest but don’t you think I’ll be doing any quests. Nope. Zip. Nada. Thanks, but no thanks. My skills may keep me from freaking out in her presence, but Death is still, Death. I Really, really don’t want to get on her bad side.”

Though, that might be difficult given their last interaction.

“Fool.”

The elder god shook his head watching Joe. Yes, a fool but one with potential.

“Why have you not accepted your rewards yet? You cannot stay here any longer. Delay any more and she shall find you. You are not ready for that yet.”

“Yes, yes. I remember.”

Something about that bitch erasing his existence in most painful manner for messing with her influence. Joe’s mind felt too foggy at the moment to even consider such far reaching consequences. Blindly, he went through the open screens, found the one related to the quest and pushed accept.

“Done, I pushed the button. Happy? May I go now? I really need a bath...”

Another bout of cackling laughter that came from the elder god, made Joe’s skin crawl.

“Oh, you shall go now. You shall go but mind my words. Anything happens to her, and you shall suffer for eternity.”

“Huh? What are you...”

*DING!*

Congratulations! You have successfully completed the starving village quest part one and two. As such you have been granted the following rewards: Transport to the nearest village. Additional rewards granted for clearing a hidden scenario:

Grace of Kunfayo : Items you produce have higher probability of becoming masterworks.

Golden Ticket: One-time, unrestricted access to the La’Feallena library. Access revoked upon leaving the building.

Loirra: Holy maiden of Kunfayo. Best keep an eye on this one or you may find yourself in a pickle from which no tentacle or scythe can free you. Cannot sell, trade or drop.

Trusty shovel: Crafted by the blacksmith god himself. A Masterpiece. Perfect for a necromancer. Cannot drop, trade or destroy. While equipped, digging speed +1000%, all cemeteries, catacombs and other burial grounds are automatically marked on your minimap, MP+500, HP+200, P.def +500, Undead Loyalty +10 000%, sharp enough to separate a soul from its body although you need special permission to do so. When in doubt, hold it out and it will lead you to the nearest, usable corpse. WARNING: user may cackle uncontrollably while holding onto the item.

With a Flick of his fingers, the god sent Joe and his party away.

***

Name: Savila Gender: Female Level: 81 Age: 37 Race: Demi + Human + Nightmare Class: Knight HP 11180 / 11180 MP 117 / 117 P.att 3210 M.att 67 P.def 9560 M.def 2260 STR 345(+100) INT 141 CON 500 VIT 90 DEX 200(+30) MEN 50 Racial traits: Base HP +21%, Base P.Def +11%, Keen senses, Survival instinct Status: Permament property of Joe. Noh Panthies : HP +5%, MP +5% Tough Body : HP Boost: HP +80%, Stamina Boost: +75%, HP Recovery: HP +420/h, Damage resistance: Incoming damage -30%, Damage absorption: Can absorb damage up to twice the current constitution level. Fortitude : HP+25%, Stun immunity, Paralysis immunity, Reduced bleeding Soul Link: Based on your master’s affinity towards you, Master Item Box access, Second in command. Drinking buddies. Improved curvature (A->DD): Master's affinity +15%, Thanks to the additional space for storing nutrients, can survive up to 18 days without water. Patchwork: Cobbled together from various bits and boobs. str +100, dex+30 Slave Codex: I. Protect your master and his possessions, II. Never lie to your master, III. You are not allowed to keep secrets from your master, IV. Protect yourself Siphon: 95% of your earned XP is consumed by your master Meat Shield: Can slurp damage like a sponge and keep standing. 27% chance to ignore incoming damage. Incoming critical damage reduced by 70% while holding a shield. Name: Neira Gender: Female Level: 72 Age: 21 Race: Demi Class: Master Under Influence HP 3456/3456 MP 500/500 P.att 7852 M.att 166 P.def 2708 M.def 289 STR 432 INT 225 CON 207 VIT 9 DEX 201 MEN 15 Racial traits: Base HP +21%, Base P.Def +11%, Keen senses, Survival instinct Status: Permanent property of Joe Noh Panthies : HP +15%, MP +15% Heavy Armor: P.Def +1362, Slashing damage received -75%, Blunt Damage received -45%, Movement speed -7%, Cannot swim wile equipped. Sword mastery - Level 2: From equipment P.Att +429, It looks as if you know what you’re doing. Try not to stab yourself. Hand to hand Combat – Level 69: From equipment P.Att +190, Your heavy punches penetrate deep into your target, on critical hit ignores up to 1748 armor, Chance to damage or destroy opponents armor 2%, Chance to apply status crippled 11% Serious art of eighth immortals under influence: Immeasurably enhances combat ability. can be used only while under influence. Soul Link: Based on your master’s affinity towards you, Master Item Box access. Designated bed-warmer. Slave Codex: I. Protect your master and his possessions, II. Never lie to your master, III. You are not allowed to keep secrets from your master, IV. Protect yourself Siphon: 95% of your earned XP is consumed by your master Name Alia Gender Female Level: 49 Age: 19 Race: Human Class: Warrior Status: Temporary property of Joe Soul Link: Based on your master’s affinity towards you, none. In debt: Your life was saved. It will cost you. Either pay up, work it off or become a full-time slave. Current balance: -997 892.24 gold. Slave Codex: I. Protect your master and his possessions, II. Never lie to your master, III. You are not allowed to keep secrets from your master, IV. Protect yourself Siphon: 95% of your earned XP is consumed by your master Name: Loirra Gender: Female Level: 1 Age: 29(?)

Race: Demi Class: Saint of Kunfayo HP 283 / 553 MP ?????? P.att 0 M.att 0 P.def 0 M.def ?????? STR 10 INT 300 CON 10 VIT 90 DEX 10 MEN 150 Racial traits: Base HP +21%, Base P.Def +11%, Keen senses, Survival instinct Status: Temporary property of Joe Saint's Body: Immune to fire, cold, poison, disease and mind altering statuses. Does not age. Cannot produce offspring. Stamina does not decrease.

Soul Link: Based on your master’s affinity towards you, none Slave Codex: Effect blocked by Patron deity Siphon: Effect blocked by Patron deity Blessing of Kunfayo: His power of wonders can work through your hands.

Protection of Kunfayo : tremble those that desire your harm for the might of god shall smith them.