“Morning sunshine.”

Neira scowled and dug her head under a mountain of pillows. Laud humans and hungover demi did not mix.

“Should I wake her?”

“No. Let her be. Maids will take care of her.”

Another muffled scowl came from under the pillows.

“In her state, she’d be useless anyway. For this town, you’re plenty enough.”

“Ho-hum, the flattery. Careful human or I may fall for you.”

“Yes, yes… now get dressed, we have a job to do.”

“Job?”

Savila’s ears stood up. That word had never come out of the mouth of this lazy human. Had an imposter swapped with him while she slept? No. His name and his title screen called him her master and his status had no strange buffs of debuffs showing.

“Since when do we have a “Job” to do?”

“Since I say so.”

That did not move her. With arms crossed, she blocked his way.

“Is that a mutiny?”

“Perhaps. How come we suddenly have a job? Since you bought me, you have not contacted anyone nor have I seen a customer approach you directly with any specific requests.”

“It’s complicated and I feel no need to explain it. Now, either you put on something or you’re going with your butt flashing. I need an extra pair of eyes on my back.”

The demi ears dropped half way. Her life taught her the importance of some extra eyes around her head and back.

“Full plate?”

“No, I don’t think so. Take something suitable for tight spaces and quick retreat. I might be paranoid but consider we might find ourselves within an angry mob, pitchforks and the like.”

Visibly displeased, his slave hissed and begun pulling out items from his box. A leather armor with a chainmail hidden beneath and accompanied by a pair of daggers and a short sword.

“Perhaps we should wake her just in case…”

“No. If you see trouble we leave. I don’t want to blow up half the city as we do so.”

And Neira had little if no control over her punches.

***

The two adventurers, mixed into the crowd moving through the busy streets. Nobody bothered them. Nobody stopped them and nobody followed them. As if guided by someone, the human zigzagged through the alleys and gates, approaching the less reputable part of town. As they walked closer and closer the stench of cheap vine, piss and tobacco grew ever stronger. In every gate, on every corner, skimpy dressed females charmed and flirted with potential customers.

“There she is…”

Joe muttered and hastened his stride. Near the entrance of the Purple Moon, a woman in red stood perched against the wall. She did not flirt with anyone, nor did she respond to anyone who approached her.

“I came for the girl.”

As before the woman gave no response. No wonder. Who would react to something like that. He tried something else, something he hoped she would ignore.

“I have come. Where lies the one whose passage I shall guard?”

Lavil shuddered at that. Simple words spoken with such purpose. She raised her head, exposing her teary eyes.

“O holy one…”

Savila snickered hearing it from across the street. Her master was as “holy” as this whole street put together. Especially after what they did last night.

“You went through such trouble for one of us… she is no longer here.”

“Where?”

“Beyond the east gate… in the pit… they called her unworthy… would not pay…”

Joe bowed slightly and turned towards the gate.

“Wait…”

Lavil grabbed his arm and pressed several coins into his palm.

“That is all I have. Please. She was my…”

More sobs silenced her. Joe looked at his palm. Two silvers, several coppers and five bronze. He took the smallest bronze penny and put the rest back into the redhead’s hand.

“I received my payment. The deed shall be done.”

Stunned, the girl watched as the strange monk walked off. He had no expensive robe full of intricate embroidery and his hand bore marks and stains of heavy labor. And the payment… Aidane’s servants would not even look at a whore while for the simplest mourning ceremony one had to pay a whole golden coin. What kind of god did he serve?

“O holy one where are we going?”

“Go cough up a hairball.”

“I’d rather not. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Anyway, what’s all this about?”

“A’bitch found a new way to make people miserable and we got a request to show her the middle finger. A request we can’t reject.”

“By A’bitch, do you perhaps…”

“The one and only.”

“I think I’m starting to like you master.”

Joe stopped. A slave smiling so profoundly meant nothing but trouble.

“What? There’s nothing surprising about it. Hardly anyone speaks fondly of “that” person. At least I don’t and never will.”

That would explain her pitch-black status screen.

“Spare me.”

“Huh? You don’t want to know?”

“No. And I don’t care.”

“That’s kind of disappointing. Well, at least you have some other good sides master.”

She gave him a wink. Joe ignored it. If there ever existed a species more perverted than humans… He made a mental note, no more demi slaves. And before he buys the next one, if any, check the hidden titles.

The aroma of slowly baked garbage welcomed them the moment they passed the barrier. Located two hours away from the city and guarded by a smell tight magic field, the dumping pits sprawled down into the hidden ravine.

Hundreds if not thousands gunk colored slimes rolled up and down the slopes, swallowing anything that could be digested. On second thought, for someone whose digestive acid could melt through five feet thick stone walls, anything seemed fine. There’s just the matter of taste and slimes preferred meat over plant matter.

Among all the slurping, bobbing and sloshing sounds, a steady sob could be heard. A naked woman sat at the bottom of the nearest pit and wept. A slime rolled through her yet nor it nor the woman noticed.

“Think you can get those balloons busy and out of here? I need to talk with someone in private.”

“As long as it shortens our stay here… I think my scent glands are committing mass suicide.”

Joe took a deep breath and felt his nose hair sizzle and smoke. Fast it shall be…

They split up. His slave went running around, slapping slimes with a stick. Joe in the meantime descended towards the bottom of the pit, thinking. Just what on earth do you say to a ghost?

“Are you perhaps Alye the Fair?”

Well, that’s what his analyze skill said. The ghost raised her head. Odd black squiggles covered her whole naked body, err, soul?

“Y-you can s-see me?”

Her eyes grew bigger.

“Yes, yes. See, hear and smell. Are those your bones per chance?”

She shook her head.

“U-huh… Then, if I may, where is your body?”

“…eaten.”

“I see. Well, that saves us some trouble. Come here.”

He grabbed her arm and picked her up. For a soul, she felt quite solid. At the same time, his soul mastery skill level up.

“W-Who are you?”

“No one. Give me your hand.”

Holding a large, raw tuber on his palm, he placed the girl’s hand over it and after pulling out an unfinished wooden staff, he intoned the prayer.

“By the Poweh of thah Potato-oo, granteh to me-eeh! I calleth thee-ee, o becometh free-ee!”

He screamed with the staff raised high in the air.

“A-a-a-a! I release-ee You-uu! Be free-ee!”

“What exactly…”

“Be quiet. You’re interrupting the ritual. Close your eyes and think happy thoughts like you mean it.”

Skeptic, she did as order. She was dead anyway. The man swayed his staff over her head.

“Ayo yo hyo Wololeeee…”

The potato begun sizzling.

“Ayo yo hyo Wololeeee…”

The smell of French fries filled the air.

“Ayo yo hyo Wololeeee…”

The ghost skin became brighter by the minute.

“Ayo yo hyo Wololeeee…”

Black, cursed squiggles wiggled and popped like popcorn, falling off her body.

“Ayo yo hyo Wololeeee!”

With a final blast the curse broke and evaporated, shriveling like a burnt onion. Almost instantly several screens appeared. One confirmed the curse removal. One informed him of a new skill, potato mastery. And one granted him a title of “The heretic”.

“THAT WAS… MAGNIFICENT.”

If he hadn’t known better, he would say she just sniggered at him.

“NOW IF YOU’LL EXCUSE US, I SHALL TAKE IT FROM HERE.”

A woman clad in simple black robe of pure darkness appeared out of nowhere. No, Alye corrected herself. It was more like her eyes finally opened.

“Are you perhaps…”

“DEATH. COME, SOULS SHOULD NOT WANDER AMONGST THE LIVING.”

Joe watched in silence as the two walked away beyond the curtain of reality where black dunes of black sand stretch towards the eternity. For a moment, no longer than a flicker of moth wings, he thought he knew where they were going. Amongst the dunes, an endless road flown…

“YOU MAY FIND IT TEMPTING BUT LIVING ONES SHOULD NOT SEEK OUT THAT ROAD.”

Familiar face stood right next to him while at the same time, he could still see her white curls far beyond the curtain. Arm in arm, she walked the woman he freed, deeper into the black dunes.

“How?”

He looked back and forth between the one standing next to him and the one walking into the beyond.

“IT IS… COMPLICATED.”

Death waved her hand, closing the gate.

“Then why did you show me that?”

“SHOWN YOU? WHATEVER YOU THINK YOU HAVE SEEN MORTAL, I HAVE SHOWN YOU NOTHING.

With a thin smile, she walked away, swaying her hips.

“I need a drink…”