“You know, if you really like staring at my ass so much you could have asked. No need for the fancy tricks.”

Neira raised her tail and spread her legs apart.

“See?”

Joe groaned. There was nothing to see. Even from down below her fur as always hid everything.

“What happened?”

There were two naked demi standing above him and his body felt as if thrown off form a rollercoaster.

“You disappeared in a black flash and moments later reappeared unconscious on the floor. “

The new one spoke in a pleasant, soft voice. What was her name... Joe’s mind still had trouble processing his recent memory. He tried to get up but failed. Fortunately for him, a fluffy hand found itself between his head and the wooden floor, cushioning his fall. Nice save fuck toy number two, that deserved some points.

“Say, what happened with the fancy ears?”

Neira pointed at the empty table.

“She’s in the box.”

“Huh? The item box? Impossible, you can’t put people in there. It’s just for items, nothing alive can be put there.”

“Seems like I can and technically speaking you are registered as my items. Now, bring me a bucket...”

***

“Is he always like that?”

“Trying to puke his guts out? It does happen quite often.”

“No, I mean is he always so... I don’t like his eyes. They scare me. There is nothing but darkness in there.”

Neira stopped brushing her tail and focused her eyes on the brush Joe made her. It was a nice brush.

“A fast one aren’t you.”

Her ears twitched, Joe cursed in between the spasms raving his body.

“I don’t know how many masters you had in the past or how they treated you but when it comes to this one... Joe doesn’t care what we do or how we do it as long as the results are to his liking. You can steal his food from his plate, hide his pants in the morning, take over his bed if he has a better one or force him to share it if that is your desire. You can annoy him however you like, there is a lot of grey area there but do not get too far.”

“There is a certain limit to what he will tolerate and one way or another he will let you know when to stop. If you ignore that and go too far, he will crush you without a second thought.”

“I can’t say he won’t force you into doing something you may not want. I can’t promise he won’t abuse you but as long as you stay useful, he will treat you good and take care of you. He may even spoil you with some gifts or other treats. He may even have some kind words for you. As long as you are useful.”

“That is what kind of man our master is. Now try to sleep. If he won’t kill himself playing around with those weird skills he has, we shall leave tomorrow morning.”

***

“YOU KNOW, WHEN SOMEBODY PUTS A LABEL “UNTESTED - DO NOT DRINK” ON A POTION, IT USUALLY IS FOR A REASON.”

“Har har har... see i’m laughing.”

Joe looked up from above the bucket. His face seemed even paler than the one of his companion.

“And for the record, I am testing that potion.”

“I SEE. THIS COULD BE QUITE ENTERTAINING. MIND IF I SIT?”

“Be my guest.”

He nod at the table and a solitary chair behind it.

“THANK YOU.”

SHE sat down and for a moment Joe could swear he saw a corset outline underneath her black robe.

“Special client?”

DEATH followed his eyes.

“YOU MAY SAY THAT. NEW SECT OF EDSS THREW AN INAUGURATION PARTY, I WAS INVITED.”

“EDSS? What’s that?”

“ENLIGHTED DYNAMIT STICK SWALLOWERS.”

“Oh, that must been a short lived one.”

“INDEED, BUT APART FROM THE REQUIRED ATTIRE, I MUST SAY THE PARTY WAS QUITE NICE. WE HAD A BLAST.”

“Ah-huh.”

Joe hid his face in the bucket and let his stomach do its thing.

“AS A CERTIFIED NECROMANCER, YOU SHOULD KNOW THERE ARE EASIER WAYS TO CONSULT ME.”

“Sorry, I ran out of rams's skulls and dribbly candles. Also, there’s not enough space here for a ceremonial octogram.”

“I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT”

DEATH became visibly disgusted.

“SENDING A CALLING CARD WOULD BEEN ENOUGH. AND COOKIES, THE FLUFFY ONES. BUT NOT WITH CINAMON.”

“I’ll try to remember. Now, where were we...”

“YOU WERE TESTING THE POTION. SO? DOES IT WORK?”

“Oh, groovy. Best emetic I made so far. Not so much anything else.”

He leaned against the wall, holding his sloshing bucket in his lap.

“I SEE. IF I MAY ADD AN OBSERVATION THOUGH, IT SEEMS THE POTION WAS ABLE TO TURN YOUR LIPS, NAILS AND TONGUE GREEN.”

As the spasms finely subsided, he got up and went to splash some water over his face.

“I’ve been meaning to ask about a skill I’m missing. It pops up in quite a few places but I have no idea how to unlock it. What are the conditions to obtain HotSwap?”

“THAT? QUITE SIMPLE.”

SHE flicked her fingers and Joe heard something heavy hit the floor behind him.

“That sound... Was it what I think it was?”

“THEY SAY SEEING IS BELIEVING. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY SINCE SEEING IS KNOWING WHILE BELIVING IS ACCEPTING SOMETHING WITHOUT WITNESSING IT. SEE FOR YOURSELF.”

Joe turned. Behind him, flat on the floor his recent body lay sprawled in an awkward pose. His tongue did become green.

“Alright, still breathing. So, what’s exactly going on?”

“YOU ARE HAVING AN OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. ALTHOUGH IT SEEMS IT WAS NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU TO TRULY GRASP THE IDEA BEHIND SEPARATION OF SOUL AND BODY AT A MOMENT NOTICE. PICK THAT UP AND WE’LL TRY AGAIN WITH SOMETHING DIFFERENT.”

He looked at his drooling body. Just how does one get back inside? He put his hand where the hart should be. A sudden sucking feeling appeared and...

“TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH.”

DEATH stood above him with sword in her hand.

“My bad. I never done this before...”

As he was standing up, SHE stabbed him straight through the heart. This time Joe felt something. An odd tingling feeling as if something peeled off his skin. His body hit the ground with a laud KLONK.

“I’M SORRY. THAT MAY LEAVE A MARK. ”

A pool of blood formed around his head. Thankfully he still had some HP left.

“Before we go on to the next round, mind if I patch this up a bit?”

SHE answered with a silent nod.

He pulled out few real health potions, made by a certified herbalist, and gulped them down while a roll of bandage managed to stop the bleeding.

“READY?”

Joe made sure this time there was something soft for his body to fall onto.

“Hit it.”

With a wide swing, time and time again SHE cut him with her scythe. By the dawn first light Joe heard the long-awaited DING.

“We can stop, I got it...”

His body no longer felt as his own and moving his limbs came with the utmost difficulty.

“YOU SURE? IT WAS QUITE RELAXING. I RARELY HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO BRING OUT THIS OLD FRIEND OF MINE.”

“I’m sure, thank you.”

Suddenly something made a muffled plink and a whirl within HER robe. DEATH pulled out a small black ledger and opened it on a certain bookmark.

A frown appeared upon HER forehead.

“I MUST GO NOW. I HAVE A TRUCK TO CATCH AS SUMMONS BEEN MADE.”

“That fast?”

“YES. THE HEROES ARE COMMING.”