《Romantically Apocalyptic》122. Filing complaints
Advertisement
"I am a scientist and not a snow shoveler!" I heard Engie's yell from behind closed door. His accent sounded vaguely familiar, but it was too muffled by the gask mask and door to make sense of it.
"SEND ME AN EMAIL WITH A FORMAL COMPLAINT!" Captain responded.
"Email?! How long are you going to screw around with me? There's no email left! There's nothing left, look around you, you idiot!" Engie screamed, and banged. It sounded like he was pounding with the shovel on the floor in rage.
"YOU CAN ALSO LEAVE ME A VOICE-MAIL!
DIAL 9999 FOR DIREKTOR CAPTAIN."
"Need I remind you: There are no working phones around!" Engie's temper tantrum got louder.
"Surely, you can't expect me to do something with a snow shovel to end nuclear winter! I am not shoveling snow! You can't make me!"
Engie should calm his nerves. Being loud and demanding has no effect in arguments with Captain. It was then that Engie started to swear and call Captain names.
I chuckled and went downstairs. I've had better things to do with my time, such as finding my gun.
While I was outside, I saw Captain's head peer out of the window and yell "NEXT!"
I looked up. "You want me to come up there?"
"DON'T HOLD UP THE LINE!" Captain concluded, disappearing in the window.
I wondered what line there was. Pilot was missing. Photoshop was probably sleeping somewhere in the snowbank.
On the way up, I nearly collided with Engie on the stairs who was running as if to get away from something horrible. He was muttering something about radioactive bees under his breath.
"I heard you yelling at Captain in there. I know you can talk. Why don't you ever talk to me?" I've asked him.
Advertisement
Engie ignored my question and fled downstairs, as if snow-shoveling was the most important thing in the world right now. I briefly wondered why Engie was afraid of talking to me and what radioactive bees had to do with anything.
"ENTER" Captain stated as I approached the door with scribbles "ZEE BRIEFEENG ROUM" on it.
I went in.
"Well, what do you want me to do with this trowel? Scrape your limo's windows? Plant some petunias out the back?" I demanded, advancing on Captain.
"YOUR MISSION SHOULD YOU CHOSE TO ACCEPT IT IS TO END WINTER!"
"You want me to end winter with this?" I waved the trowel in front of Captain's face.
"Wait a minute... I can choose to not do this mission. Do I ever get my gun back then?"
"CORRECTOMUNDO! YOU HAVE NO NEED OF GUNS. THE TROWEL IS YOUR NEW BEST BUDDY. STRAP IT TO YOUR ARM-NOODLE AND DON'T LET GO, UNTIL SPRING COMES!"
For a very brief moment, in my mind flashed an image:
With a tribal scream, I leap towards captain, bearing the extremely dull trowel.
The scarf, binding my spine grants me monstrous strength for this glorious mission.
Fueled by sudden adrenaline injection my motions are swift and merciless.
With wonderful, inhuman precision I slice off Captain's head, ridding myself of the endless irrationality and insane demands. Captain's head rolls into the sunset and everyone rejoices applauding for my victory.
...
Wait what? Who's everyone? Who's clapping?
I looked down a the trowel in my hands, then at the grinning mask of the not so head-less Captain, then again at the trowel.
...
Biomatrix, stop showing me this nonsense.
I am not harvesting Captain. Not today.
No. Not Ever. I'm never harvesting anyone human.
Of course Captain is human!
...Whatever do you mean?
Advertisement
That's just disgusting!
We are not "Bestest organic friends"!
I am not trading Captain for unlimited powers on seventeen planets!
I focused on my surroundings, ending my internal monologue with my scarf. Captain merrily lounged in front of me waving a steaming mug as if conducting an invisible orchestra.
"This is the stupidest mission ever, you know." I said.
"YOU'LL GET A SALARY INCREASE!" Captain waved the mug at me.
"Bottlecaps are not a form of payment! I want my gun back."
"THE TROWEL POINTS THE WAY!" Captain cheerily answered.
"My scarf is telling me to stab you with it." I grumbled.
"TRY IF YOU MUST, BUT IT HAS VERY DULL CORNERS!" Captain postulated.
I gave up. I wasn't getting my gun back.
Advertisement
- In Serial15 Chapters
Aeromancer
Seti Tutt, a recent graduate of the university, was too weak as a wind adept to become anything amazing with his abilities. However, his sight was stolen and now has to learn how to see with his wind, ultimately landing him as a student at Prestige Academy where enemies abound.Release Schedule Almost-weekly every Monday.The almost part of it just means I'll skip an update after several releases to catch up on the writing. Story cover was commissioned by me.
8 119 - In Serial15 Chapters
Rise Of The Heavenly King
At the start of the 20th Century, 10 meteorites fell all over the world carrying within it boundless power that would shake the entire planet. From that moment, some people started to gain abilities and use them for good and evil, waging wars all over the world. With this event, 10 kings would rise and rule the entire world. These kings were the strongest of all, each carrying massive amounts of power. One day, a war that affected the whole world had erupted. Because of it, countless people died both weak and strong. New people arose, taking over the old rule. After the worldwide massacre, all people who wielded these magical abilities disappeared. This century was secretly known as the "Battle Of The Kings" and was regarded as a highly classified information. Now, the old century has passed and a new one came with the power of technology. Living in this era was a 30 years' old man, Lucas Riel. He was commuting to home when suddenly, a meteorite fell over close to his location and since he was a curious person, he went ahead to check it out. When he got close, he accidentally inhaled the smoke coming out from the meteorite, started hearing whispers then passed out. One day, he discovered that he gained an ability after hearing those silent whispers. With his new ability acquired, watch as he slowly rises and becomes feared all over the world. He is known as the Heavenly King. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ NOTE: I HAVE ALSO POSTED THIS STORY FROM OTHER WEBSITES UNDER THE SAME AUTHOR/TITLE. HERE ARE THE CURRENT WEBSITES YOU CAN READ FROM: - RoyalRoad- ScribbleHub Author's Note: This is the first novel that I have posted EVER. Atleast try out the first 3 chapters and see if it's to your liking. Sorry if there are any grammar/spelling mistakes that I might have made as English is not my first language and I am only writing this novel to relieve my boredom. - This story will have some R-18 scenes but there will be only a few of them as the story is not focused on sexual content. - Lastly, feel free to leave a review and your suggestions so that I could see if you like the story or if there are any mistakes that I have made. That's all and enjoy reading :)
8 130 - In Serial13 Chapters
Into the Everwood
A former mercenary is imprisoned and brought to the Everwood to serve his sentence. Despite his longing to live a quiet life, he is forced to once again wield his spear for survival in the vast land unknown to those who live outside it. Stranded in the forest, he unwittingly embarks on a journey to find his purpose and see sights that will bring both awe and despair. Perhaps the enchanted fens, arid deserts, frozen moors, and ancient cities will hold the answers he seeks.
8 90 - In Serial52 Chapters
The Blackgloom Bounty
In the dark days before the end of the first millennium, Scotland (or Scotia as some called it) was a leaderless hodgepodge of tribes, clans and warring factions all bent on the same thing--domination of the land. Wizards, sorcerers and magicians still plied their trade, though much of their power had given way to the machinations of men and their war machines. To the south of Scotia lay the realm of the Saxons ruled by Ethelred the Unready and his ruthless minions. To the west, Ireland had just come of age. Everywhere else the constant threat of a lightning swift Viking incursion loomed over the land.Growing up in this lawless world is a displaced Daynin McKinnon, heir to an ancient familial keep on the island of Rhum. He and his grandfather Ean scratch out a living amongst the Saxons, careful never to divulge their clan heritage. That all changes when Kruzurk Makshare chooses Daynin as the ideal prospect to help him bring down a vile sorcerer named The Seed of Cerberus, ferreted away in his impregnable fortress at Blackgloom. Little does Kruzurk know that in so doing, he will launch young Daynin, himself and others on a vast, dangerous quest that no one could have foreseen. *****One Hollywood producer has dubbed this three book fantasy epic from Jon Baxley as, "BRAVEHEART meets THE LORD OF THE RINGS." Real places, people and events flesh out this fast moving, multi-faceted semi-historical series but fear not fantasy readers. There's more than enough of the magical, mystical mayhem you have come to expect from great fantasy. Romance readers, too, will enjoy the 'spice' in these characters--and there are a lot of them--both human and otherwise. And if you're into Viking lore, this series certainly is for you.When someone asks the author about his series, he answers with, “There were far more surprises in this tale than I ever expected and it's not over yet! This volume and the next two contain hundreds of pages filled with rollicking good times, fast moving action and a page turning adventure you will not soon forget."Books In The Scythian Stone Saga:THE BLACKGLOOM BOUNTY Episode 1 - 500 pagesTHE REGENTS OF RHUM Episode 2 - 800 pagesTHE SCIONS OF SCOTIA Episode 3 - 800 pages
8 181 - In Serial14 Chapters
The King Of Sloth
What happens when you take an extraordinarily lazy and indifferent prince that doesn't do anything else other than sleep and put him in a world of swords and magic? A world where the strong rule over the weak and crush all who say otherwise? A world where monsters of all kinds roam free? He sleeps obviously!
8 96 - In Serial24 Chapters
RE: DIVINE
(Mature story with language, with possible sexual situations and gore later on) Partially a parody for people who complain of the influx of op reincarnated mc's. The main character died and won a prize for doing so. The prize? Divinity! Follow our main character in a realm where he is absolute!
8 82
Prev Chap
Next Chap
Chap List
Boy
Girl
