《Romantically Apocalyptic》116. Grounded

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I tried to shout back at captain, but the shock of falling through atmosphere has somehow messed up my ability to output comprehensible speech.

The voices in my head were telling me to do terrible things.

-=YoU NeVeR KNoW WHeN YoU MiGhT NeED eXTRa ORGaNS!=-

This is the worst sales pitch ever.

-=Think about all the things you could do with extra arms.=-

I'd rather not.

-=Think about all the places you can walk to with extra legs.=-

While being a centipede sounds enticing, I'd prefer to be human-shaped.

-=Think about all the things you can see with extra eyes.=-

What things?

-=Why... Each eye can show you a different view of the universe, infra-red, the future, the past, the future-past, the cost of all the things, the age of all the things, etc.=-

While this offer is quite interesting, my goggles are designed for two eyes only.

-=We can fix that. We can fix everything everywhere. Just kill the Captain.=-

No.

-=Pretty please?=-

...Did anyone tell you, that you're the worst salesperson in the Universe?

-=We are composed of many sales-entities. It is you who is the most picky customer in the Universe... You will accept our deal sooner or later, Charles.=-

"...ZAT IS A MOST GRAVY MYSTERY!"

"Let me guess... I have to find this flying potato and... bake it?"

"DON'T BE RIDICULOUS! THE POTATO CANNOT BE CONSUMED BY AN ORDINARY BOOB LIKE YOURSELF! YOU HAVE TO SEEK THE GREAT PEELER OF ENLIGHTENMENT FIRST!"

I turned the flying potato armada around. It wasn't worth it. Zee was onto me. I was rather pissed that Zee has folded an instance of me, but as always the Wizard was ready for whatever Dead Zone nightmare I had on my side. How annoying. Even my temporal plots to bother Captain seem to have failed as Zero was perfectly polite and not nullifying any of them for temporal crimes. Sigh.

"...EY ZERO, PICK UP THE PACE!

USE THE HIDEOUS MUTANT FOX!

WE MUST DEFEAT THE DOCTORATE EGG!"

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