Monday, December 17th, 314 years since Start

Journal entry 34

I have still not leveled. I am attempting a theory I discovered whilst talking amongst the other Reforms in the faction. Supposedly, a desire for a specific class was not sufficient to earn one. There were two rumored components: your discovered life path, and conviction. The term conviction was always vague in my interviews. It could either mean you are convinced of a world truth, or you're dedicated to your path.

I was tempted to be angered by the implication that I was not dedicated to my path, but instead took it as constructive criticism. For the most part, I am doing my work for the faction. I was always scientifically inclined on Earth, it just made sense for me to return to familiar grounds after the three of us joined. When Olania took us in, I wanted to help in any way possible, and this was one such opportunity.

Yet this research I find myself doing, I can’t for the life of me remember why I was doing it. Yes, it is another aspect of the mind, supposedly there is another race that owns the system I now possess, but why am I studying it? Obviously to help, but when it comes to it, I really am not personally invested. It is more to prove my worth, my talent and value to the rest than my own ambition. I should thank the system for not giving me a class then. It would have been miserable to be stuck with a class focused on research when I truly did not care.

For the next year, I will focus on discovering my truth. This is the best way forward I believe. I have always been enamored with the claymore. I would be lying if my past hobbies on Earth did not contribute to my infatuation. Personally, I would prefer a giant sword like the ones in anime. It is not a proud part of my past, but it is still a part nonetheless.

My reasoning for the sword is twofold. For one, it is extremely… romantic. In the original meaning of the word. Secondly, the use of such a heavy object would allow me to take advantage of the natural abilities of the Reform that I have been neglecting. It is something that is solely available to us, an extreme advantage, it would be foolish to not train.

Other than my musings on classes and progressment, we have finally recruited another researcher. For too long I have been working on my own; I believe it has been twenty years or so. He is a gentleman by the name of Cain. Olania and I have both interviewed him, and approved of his knowledge. He knows quite a lot about the subject of the mind, and already has the fourteenth system. In all honesty, he is exactly what we have been searching for. Olania was suspect at first. It was too convenient a timing, right when I brought up to her the need for a researcher, within a month one was found. It may seem like a while, but with our significantly increased lifespans, it was like a day.

Olania has a splendid control of the mind though. We asked him for permission before doing an interview, Olania tracking his thoughts. The interview was short lived, there was only one real question of note: “Do you wish harm to the faction”? He replied no, to which she nodded in confirmation. In such a way, he was hired, but not yet added to the faction. Membership was different than cooperation. Olania had to fully trust you, it usually took years to get in. In fact, I believe her assistant had already been here for ten years and had yet to gain membership.

This is all irrelevant, the point is, today we will show Cain around the tower which will be his home. His lab. In fact, I should start getting dressed now. Though we have met before, I would like to keep a professional and elegant demeanor. Ah, but at the same point I am a scientist. Would I classify as a mage of science? Hm, a robe it is then.

“You know Sen…”

“Hm?” Now that the adrenaline was wearing off, and Yuclaus was hobbling through the forest he realized something.

“That was kinda messed up.” Yuclaus heard a faint rustling from the source of the vine that was now guiding him through the dark forest.

“You say that Yu, but I saw your memories. That was just like your game. You had to have at least enjoyed it a little.”

“You aren’t wrong Sen, but we could have done much better. In all seriousness, if you told me exactly what was happening, and that you would make sure nothing happened, it could have been much better.”

“But then you would not have really understood the pressure of life and death battles. Also, would you have gone through with it if you knew the real numbers?” Yuclaus was unsure if he would have still gone through with the challenge if he knew the true numbers. Isencia was also right, he could have rejected her “training”, but they both knew what she meant from the beginning. If he was upset, he only had himself to blame. He didn’t have to play along, nor go careening into the forest on a movable wrecking ball.

“Again, you may be right, but I want to make a suggestion. We are stuck together right? Whether we like it or not we are accomplices.”

“Technically, I could kill you and then just leave.”

“Sen.”

“Sorry.”

“You would no sooner kill me than cut off your own arm. Isencia we’ve known each other for what? A week, a week and a half?”

“I think a little over a week.”

“In that time, you have applied salve to my wounds, protected me from an earthen primate, stuck with me even though I’m a living beacon, guided me away from your powerful mother, taken me through a vast forest when I’m slowing you down, trained me against salamanders, and then saved me at the end. Also, I am pretty sure you have done much more than that. If you truly meant that, there were plenty of times you could have dropped the baggage.”

Isencia was silent at his explanation. When it came down to it he was right. Though she had no real reason to, she had gone above and beyond for him. Perhaps calling Yuclaus a friend was pushing it, but she would like to call him that. They were different from a family that didn’t get to decide who their parents or siblings were. They had chosen to stick together. Time will tell if that was the correct choice.

“What is your point?” Isencia said, a sourness floating in the air. No one likes when something is thrown at their face. It may be needed, but it was rarely pleasant.

“My point is, can we communicate better? I know we are still getting comfortable with each other, but just keep me updated; let me know what's going on. I would be more than happy to fight some plant amphibians again, but I would prefer if it was in the day, with preparation, and constructive criticism.”

“You are right, you've proven time and time again you won't freeze up in a tough situation. Still, I have spent a majority of my life with only my thoughts to keep me company, I have just left everything I have known, and I am a wanted fugitive by a majority of the world. I will try, but there is a lot going on.”

“Thank you. Now try saying that again with what you actually mean,” Yuclaus pushed her.

“I thought it was funny and helpful. I regret you getting hurt, but I don't regret the rest of it. I'm stressed, I am confused with all the things happening in my life, and honestly, I really don’t know how to act. My mind is constantly churning, yet my mouth won’t match. It is frustrating that I can’t show emotion in a way that is understandable to you, and I don’t want to fight off these people on my own.” Isencia caught her breath. Having never used her lungs before meeting Yuclaus, the little speech had winded her.

“Lets try this shall we? Tomorrow we will do the exact same thing. Guide the salamanders to me, and with proper preparation, we can see how I do. If things get dangerous you can step in. I will make sure to let you know if it's too much. After, we can discuss improvement of my Spore, tell me what you think will make it more viable. I have some ideas but I don’t want to sway your opinion.

“Afterwards, we can spend time getting on the same page. We explain everything, communicate, and form a gameplan. Then, during the night, we can work on our mindscapes. We can share observations, tips, and attempt to improve. The slot thing you were mentioning seems like a good lead. If we can gain more prowess from that, we should be fine. Granted, I have no clue what counts as strong here. I have an idea for how I can look at mine, but I have been procrastinating. Does that sound like a plan?”

“Yes. I would like that. When would we travel?” Isencia was still uncomfortable and moderately frustrated, but she knew this would be the smart choice. They could adjust the plan as needed, which Sen fully intended to do once she calmed down.

“After tomorrow, we can travel during the day, and in the afternoon and night we can continue to improve,” Yuclaus was glad Isencia was reacting as she was. He knew that he was dead weight to her, but seeing Sen value his opinion meant a lot. They had a rough start, but he felt like they were finally on the right track.

“We are back,” Isencia pushed on him gently with the vines. He came to a stop.

“Ah wait! We forgot the meat. That was the whole point of this… thing,” Yuclaus let out a little of his frustrations as well.

“I can get some more real quick. Would you like to wait here?”

“I'll see if I can get the fire back up,” Cause looked at the circle of stones that were barely illuminated by a few embers that refused to surrender. He heard a faint scuffle and knew Isencia had already left. Yuclaus groped around the fire pit looking for the small sticks and kindling he left out. He set it on top of a relatively flat rock, before walking around until he bumped into a pile of cut wood.

Isencia had acquired the wood once night had fallen. Many a time he asked himself why he even tried. He brought over three logs, making a cone over the fire. He then brought the kindling and placed it on a coal. The next few minutes consisted of gentle blowing, and the addition of thin fibers to start the fire. As the fire picked up, he looked around for a place to sit, and found an armchair made of vines behind him. He smiled to himself before sitting down, and closed his eyes.

Baby steps, he thought, It is good that Sen went on her own. I think we both need a few minutes. We were both thrown into an unfamiliar situation. We are stressed, frustrated, and have no real plans. Yuclaus opened his eyes, starting at the leaves hanging above him. I need to make sure to be supportive when she tries eating. There are some moments where a joke may be nice, but this is a sensitive subject.

A fair distance away, Isencia sat in a very similar chair to Yuclaus. At her feet were five food donors. She had wanted to get away for a moment, just be by herself. She was the very definition of introverted. Having relied on herself for most of her life, being with Yuclaus brought a sense of exhaustion. She had to feel so many emotions, and her mind seemed to move even faster if that was possible. Had she not also been having fun, she may have regretted it all. But what was social exhaustion when compared with the quest they were embarking on.

It may take a while, but she also hoped that someday, she could enjoy the energy. In all regards she should thrive in social situations. Isencia was already expressive in her mind, but her Environ body, and years of isolation had hampered that. She needed to try harder. Not just in getting used to a companion, but also with everything. Isencia wanted to improve. She had grown confident and cocky, but slowly she was realizing her faults. Of course, she noticed far more in Yuclaus, but those were most likely cultural differences.

The two sat like this for an undetermined amount of time. They collected their thoughts, discarded their emotional turmoil, and thought logically. Yuclaus found he may have been too harsh. Isencia found she may not have been harsh enough. Yuclaus found the vine chair comfortable. So did Isencia.

As Yuclaus got up to add another log to the fire, he heard footsteps approaching. It surprised him for a moment. Had their enemies already found them? Luckily, it was just that Isencia had taken the first step to improve their relationship. That step was taking literal steps. Instead of silently appearing, she wanted him to know that she was arriving. In order to solidify the footsteps were hers, Sen rustled her hair in greeting. I’m back. Yuclaus relaxed, and focused back on the fire.

“Welcome back. You scared me for a second there.” Isencia made another chair across the fire from Yuclaus’ but stopped before she sat in it.

“Can you teach me how to cook?” She asked. Initially, the plan was for Yuclaus to do it, but now that he was hurt, she preferred if he just directed her.

“I got it.”

“No. Yu sit back down. Just tell me what to do. You are hurt because of me, so it will be because of me we eat.” Yuclaus was going to reject her offer, but realized she was going out of her comfort zone. This was a two way street. He may not be eating well tonight, but the price was worth it.

“I will do my best. However, I have never really made food over an open fire. My instructions may not be the best,” Yuclaus informed.

“Your best is all I can ask for.”