《The Colour Chronicles》Lilianne's Memories (1)
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Lilianne's Memories
When I first woke up in this life, I realised something. My parents here were afraid of us. The horrified expression I saw on their face was burned into my eyes.
My mother had her mouth open, and her eyes told me she was afraid. Shortly after she broke down crying.
My father had a bit more tact, he kept his stern face, but I felt the disgust coming from his gaze.
They closed down their house, fired all of the staff they had, and I'm pretty sure they took care of everyone who saw us.
I would've thought they would get rid of us right away, but they kept us.
Later on I learned the reason, if they did it too early people would talk about it. A miscarriage would ruin their reputation, just like letting us be known to the world.
Apparently father owned the town, or specifically the land it was built on. Every building paid him, every deal had a tax for him, it wouldn't be a surprise if he were richer than most. I think he owned more land somewhere else, leading to yet another source of money.
When we were born he came to the town to tell them that he would keep us in until we were old enough. That as a protective father he realised his position gave us risks, and he wouldn't want anyone near us.
He had the manipulation skills and managed to wrap everyone around his finger.
The next step in his plan was to get rid of us. He didn't want to leave anything up to chance, and thought of the consequences every possible action could have.
If it was too early, he would've been blamed. Like bad security for a break in.
He decided to wait, so he could blame it on us no matter what happened. After that he could say that he's heartbroken about the loss and doesn't want to start again.
Even though he didn't tell mother, I heard him complain about her. Since she gave birth to 'demons' he wouldn't want any other kid with her. I think she's next in the accidentally dead list.
She must have noticed something, purely from the fact that he started ignoring her. Her emotions blamed us for it, and she took it out on us.
Specifically, she took it out on Thomas and me. She ignored the other two for some reason. If Nick or Sam did something, mother would punish us for it.
It might have been her trying to make us feel responsible for them. That we would raise them for her, so she didn't need to work.
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She might have thought it worked, but since they were made from us, we already tried to raise them our way.
We did want to get out, but with the risks involved even Thomas, the hot-headed one, didn't want to try it. So just like father, we decided to wait for the best time.
We researched our powers, what we've gained and how to use them. Then worked out ways to make them even better. All was going well, until Sam started to change.
Sam woke up with a nightmare that day, she seemed extremely scared of losing me.
For anyone it might be a normal thing, but Sam and I weren't close enough for her to suddenly be afraid of losing me. I spent most of my days with Thomas, and whenever he did his annoying usual self I would get grumpy. So I wasn't exactly nice to her at all times.
After that, her manners and habits changed. Even her personality felt different. Other people might not have noticed, but I spent six years living with her in one room. She used to be simple, doing the same monotonous routine everyday.
Like that, it was really easy to figure out what she liked and didn't like. For example, she was afraid of Thomas, everything he did was intimidating to her. She didn't see that he just has a big mouth but no bite.
This day she just seemed out of it, confused. But mostly afraid. She has two usual responses to being afraid, either she blanks out and stands there without knowing what to do, or she'll have a mental breakdown by overthinking. The last one will cause her to panic, and the only way of getting her out is by calming her.
The difference seems to be between whether something is happening or something can happen. If something is happening she just stops functioning, like someone switched her off.
If something can happen she will absolutely panic and think of all that can happen. Not even a solution on how to prevent it, just thinking about things that make her emotional state even worse.
Since usually nothing is happening I'm used to the latter. This time she had the former, and that made me worried. What is happening right now to make you afraid? I don't see anything, so why aren't you having a panic attack?
She held onto me as long as she could, just silently staring. It almost became creepy.
So after breakfast I immediately made Thomas follow me, to share my findings.
We went to the usual room, it's a room without any windows and in a hall where not a lot of people pass by. I'm not sure why my parents made it, but it sure came in handy.
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"There's something wrong with Sam, I think we need to hurry up with our plan before this can change the situation." I seriously explained to him, but Thomas being Thomas, he didn't care.
"That just sounds like your problem, who knows, maybe she's having her bad phase. If we hurry our plan just for this it would make all of the preparations we did useless." The plan we were talking about was our escape. I once went outside to check our surroundings.
Because you can't do that in one trip, I went outside multiple times until I was sure I couldn't get lost.
Thomas sneaked around inside, trying to find where they hide their food and where we could hide it for ourselves. He always checked our parents' schedules before his search mission, so he knew exactly when they were out.
The only thing holding us back was the fact that we were six.
"You don't get it, this change is getting bigger faster. I managed to make her happy with some talk for a moment. The next moment, not even a second later, she's out of it. As if we did not just talk, she just stared down and I had to speak to get her out of it.
Then the stare she gave me, it was a completely empty stare. Then she started talking about not knowing what's real or not. We need to get her out of here, as soon as we can."
"So what if she's going crazy, do you think I care?"
"I said we need to get her out of here." I said with a straight face. He knew I was ordering him, he didn't have a say in this.
"No."
"Can't you listen for once!" He was always there to make me pissed.
"Don't you dare order me!" Thomas shouted back at me. I felt someone standing at the door outside, and realised it was Sam. How she managed to get here I didn't know, what I did know was how I could use that.
I managed to steer the conversation and pulled Sam in, it surprised Thomas.
It did work, since he realised how serious I was. Combining powers was a big risk, you can lose yourself to the other. And when that happens, there's no one to control your side of the power, letting it run wild.
Since Sam is a beginner, any power combining with her would 99% go wrong. She just doesn't know how to control her power, and when I have to jump in on her side to help, I'll just take her over.
I thought everything was going well, so I stopped holding Sam. The next moment she changes yet again. She went white as a sheet out of nowhere.
Even though she's pale, looking sad and terrified, she seemed to have gained resolution. I don't know what for and how.
Then she looked at me, and I saw her eyes glow. The one signal she's awakening to her powers, and it's way too early. She was just six, she wasn't ready both physically and mentally.
It showed Thomas that we did have to hurry up, but of course he wasn't willing to help.
I had to do it all by myself, and I hadn’t even awakened yet. Then I noticed something odd.
All our souls gave a different feeling, it was the only difference we had. For me it's like ice, it's just cold. But there's a fire somewhere, recklessly burning in the middle of ice.
With Thomas felt like pushing against a wall and there's just a terrible bloody smell coming from behind it.
Nick had this calming field, nothing else.
And for Sam it was a tunnel, a dark tunnel. But you could see the light at the end.
I didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore, I saw ice. It's extremely unsettling, and made even me slightly afraid. A soul couldn't just change like that.
I tried ignoring it and just helped her. After that we had to fill her in on some details, so she knew what happened.
Once I saw the oddity, I couldn't shake this feeling that something was wrong. I felt like Thomas's suggestion that we seal her memories of this occurrence was a great idea to keep us safe.
After he finished the seal she looked absolutely fine. As if the seal didn't give her a headache or something. Even worse was that she didn't look like she just received a lot of new info.
I asked her if she had any questions, to see if she understood what I said. She actually had a question, showing that she’s really interested in getting stronger. Why is she caring about strength now?
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