《Can't a Girl be a Fearsome Demon Lord?》The Dark Lord
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With my thoughts about all the important discoveries I had made ending, I turned back to the three bodies I had put side by side on the floor, and decided to carry out the last thing I had in mind, and quite honestly, one that I believe had nothing to do with that something influencing me. Despite everything that happened, I really didn’t that guilty about what had occurred, after all, I fear part of me genuinely wanted it to happen.
There were two things that we had needed urgently and I had set as our first priority, with those being weapons to protect ourselves and money for living expenses. When I met the boys at first, It was with the intention that we might be able to get something from them that I had decided to approach them. After all, I had no plans of becoming a beggar as they had alluded to, and the quickest way for us to solve the issue was simply to take such things from the three boys in front of us. Thus, during the time which were together, the thought of taking their stuff and making a get away in the dark labyrinth passed through my mind more than once. Looking at the dead bodies once more, I couldn’t tell if the lack of guilt I was feeling towards what had happened to them was due to my thoughts being affected by that something’s influence, or simply that I was becoming such a heartless person. But by this point, I could not continue to deny that my thought process had changed from when I first got here.
Despite the fact that I wanted to become a Demon Lord, it was clear that I still carried with me the morals I had in the past. After all, I still chose to help a half-elf girl and potentially get involved in her issues even without knowing anything about her. And once I knew about her tragic situation, I had wanted to help and take care of her, despite the fact that it would have proven a great burden for me. Though it was only thanks to the influence of that something that the situation ended with her being my subordinate.
Despite my desire to live free, I was very much aware that I had still been allowing my feelings of right or wrong to dictate what I did. Considering I was brought to a new world, there’s a chance that my wish when I was still in that black space may have been the cause to everything up to now. After all, the actions I was being forced to take were oddly similar to that of a being without much in the way of morals. Looking at it from a more extreme point, a being who was a Demon Lord.
Thinking back on that wish of mine, it was clear that I wasn’t exactly taking it very seriously. Despite that, I had already enslaved a girl and murdered three men. I felt that I was walking towards that end in one way or another, and I had already crossed a line that a person couldn’t turn back from. If I thought about it, I was beginning to trudge towards becoming such a being, although it was not occurring for the reasons I had originally wanted to be one.
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Right, the reason I had even wanted to be a Demon Lord in the first place had been for the purpose of not worrying about anything anymore and living a carefree life. A life without stress unlike the one I had lived in previously, constantly worried about the actions I took, doing what society thought was right, worrying about how my parents and peers thought of me, and how I was performing at school.
If I was to become the Demon Lord it had to be under my own convictions, my own path. In the case that the something that has been guiding me has been my own hidden desires, then I can’t continue to rely on such a roundabout method to get done what I need to do, since it was clearly failing me. Despite wanting a life without worries, all I had really managed to do over the week I spent here was to slowly go insane and watch my mental health deteriorate. It was obvious that I couldn’t continue to go on in this matter, and with having already murdered three boys, it was time that I stopped worrying so heavily about morals and the like.
After all, I had already made my conviction to become a Demon Lord on the day I left the forest with Ailya, so I couldn’t worry about killing three nobodies when I would most probably be doing much worse in the future. It doesn’t matter if it was because of my own hidden desire, or someone controlling me that I ended up crossing the line. But I couldn’t continue to let my old morals that I had decided to throw away limit my life.
By now, even Ailya had killed a man, and it was too late for me to try to act like a good person. Especially if I wanted to truly liberate myself. I wanted to truly enjoy this life I had been given against my will, to enjoy myself without any boundaries to limit me.Considering I was about to head to a new city in a fantasy world, I was determined this time to truly do whatever I wanted without worrying about whether my actions were good or not, and enjoy what this new city in a fantasy world had to offer me to its fullest.
Therefore, I was determined to truly become a free being, even if I wanted to become a Demon Lord, and that something was guiding me in that path, I wanted to do it at my own discretion without anyone telling me what to do. I didn’t want to follow a predetermined path, even in it allowed me to get to my ‘end goal’ quicker. Even if the path would be long and arduous, If was to do it, it was going to be only by my own will. Only doing what I desired for my benefit and to achieve my own goals and happiness.
As I continued along this train of thought I felt a new wave of energy come over my mind as this strong conviction planted itself in it. With my new found conviction, I felt a weight come off my shoulders and also experience a liberating sense in my mind that was unlike anything I had felt since I was summoned to this world. At the same time, I noticed a notification go off in my mind informing me that [Mental Fortitude] and [Powerful Will] had both leveled up to Tier 2…
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“Ha… haha… HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
At this notification I couldn't prevent myself from going into a maniacal fit of laughter, after all, how could I not? It wasn’t easy to level up abilities, which meant that I had been using the two abilities extensively from the moment I had received them just a while ago.
To me, this told me everything I needed to know. It wasn’t my own hidden desire that had been guiding me down this path, but instead, there was an outside force that had always been influencing me, even when I wasn’t aware of it. This meant that this entire time I had never truly been free, constantly guided by that something in my actions. That in one way or another, that accursed something had been tampering with my thoughts without me knowing. Though I could tell when it took drastic actions, it was clear that it was still able to influence me subtly in a way that I was not able to discern. Just like it had done so today.
With this discovery, I was determined to pay back whatever or whoever had been trying to control me. No matter what, I would make sure to destroy them as soon as I was capable of it. For the meantime, I would focus on getting stronger and follow my own true path from this moment on.
Yes, I wanted to be feared. Yes, I wanted to be looked upon with awe. But it would not be as a puppet of someone else. I was set on enjoying myself and doing as I pleased, so I would become my own fearsome being without it being done at the discretion of others.
Riding on the momentum of my feelings welling up inside me, I decided to set up new goals created by my own will for the future. The first being to reach the new city Dene and enjoy my experience there. The second was for me to continue to gather strength and learn dark magic.The third, to expand my list of subordinates and teach them [Soul Devourer], letting them learn the art of life drain and bring the darkwraiths to this world, all who would be under my control of course. The last goal was simply to enjoy myself as I did all of it.
Looking at the three bodies on the floor, I remembered my first goal and decided to complete it right now. So, taking the short sword from Kevin, as well as some of the knives carried by the group, and then looking through their bodies for money, I finished the first goal I set out for myself, which was gaining weapons and money for Ailya and me.
Since their armor would not fit us, and I could always get more money by robbing others, I decided to leave their armor on them before burning their bodies. After all, the last thing I needed was someone to enter this cave and link their deaths to us, even if it was improbable, there was always a chance some bullshit would happen like in anime and they would be able to find traces of what occurred here. Thus, once they were fully reduced to ashes, I made sure to scatter their remains and throw the remaining clothes and weapons to different directions were monsters might take them. After all, without any souls left behind, I wasn’t too worried that they would haunt this place and snitch on us.
Once I had finished this, I turned to Ailya who had both witnessed and felt the turmoil in my heart, as well as my new found conviction. Seeing her smile at me since she knew I had found my answer, I simply signed for her to follow me as we left the room and began walking out of the dungeon. With our increased levels as well as new as new skills, we found it much easier to leave the dungeon since there only seemed to be a few monsters that had spawned since we cleared the area. Once we passed by some slimes as we neared the entrance to the labyrinth, I stopped for a second as I pointed my finger at the slime. Then, using [Fire Arrow], I pierced through it and destroyed its magic core as the slime simply melted into goo, a grin appeared on my face watching as I watched this.
Satisfied with myself, I continued to walk forward until we reached the exit of the labyrinth, stopping just before the exit. Looking at the dark night sky littered with stars and lit up by a half a moon, enjoying the sight that could not be seen in our light polluted civilization for the first time truly. Once I was satisfied, a memory came back to my mind that caused me to release a chuckle. Acting on this memory, I began to look around at the world outside the labyrinth as I still stood along with Ailya just at the entrance. Remembering the scene that had appeared in my mind, I was aware of a distinct lack of serpents and epic music waiting for my triumphant arrival into the world. Not minding that proper respect wasn’t being paid to me, I simply called Ailya over and whispered some instructions into her ear. Following this, she nodded her head and left the labyrinth before me, not questioning the strange request I made for her. Once she was in place, I took took a step outside the labyrinth and into the world as Ailya bowed standing in front of me and said:
“Let the true Dark be cast upon the world… Our lord hath returnedth’st”
Hearing her words, a stupidly large toothy smile grew on my face as I nodded at the display and, riding off the new powerful emotions welling up inside of me, I said excitedly:
“Let's go Ailya! To Dene!”
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