Chapter 2

Part 1

“I fucking hate you," I hear Will say first thing in the morning as he meets me on my way to school.

After falling for that dumb-as-fuck love calculator, Will non-stop kept sending me messages which were not very nice, and included swearing every other fourth word. I’d rather not go in detail.

He didn’t look as angry as I’d imagined, but I could tell he was still ticked off.

“For what reason? Can you please inform me what I did that made you angry?” I asked, pretending like I didn’t know what I did to him.

“Shut the fuck up," he said, slightly increasing the volume of his voice.

“You're being mean."

“Oh, Johnny! You’re so lucky I haven’t started beating the shit out of you yet.”

“I know you’d never do that to your good old friend, right pal?” I asked, not being able to hold in my smirk anymore.

“You’re really starting to wind me up now.”

“May I get a reason as to why? I still haven’t been informed what horrible thing you’ve accused me of doing."

“That love calculator you sent me on Skype? Does it ring a bell?”

“Nope, I wasn’t on Skype yesterday. I have nooo idea what you’re talking about,” I lied.

“Shut the fuck up! I saw you online yesterday with a green check mark next to your name, and also u sent me that stupid calculator.”

“Are you sure about that? Maybe it was some hacker that got into my account and sent you that.”

“What kind of hacker would hack into someone’s Skype account just to send a stupid love calculator prank to some guy he probably hasn’t even met.”

“I don’t know, there are some pretty stupid hackers nowadays.”

“No hackers would be stupid enough just to hack into some random dude’s Skype account just to do that.”

“Yeah you’re right, that’s a whole new level of idiocy."

"I already know you did it. You can cut the act already."

"What act?" I said, still pretending to not have any idea of what he was talking about.

"Whatever."

"Oh, by the way, Rebekah's spelt R-E-B-E-K-A-H, not R-E-B-E-C-C-A,” I said smiling.

“So you did send that!”

“Pffh, what????” I said sarcastically.

“Okay, I think that’s enough pretending for today," he said.

The mood then turned all serious, and he suddenly had an apologetic expression. "I'm sorry if it seems like I'm trying to steal your girl. You told me earlier that you two went to middle school together and everything, and for all I know you guys had a thing for each other or something.”

“I already told you, I'm not into her,” I assured him. “If you don’t mind me asking though, what is it that got interested?”

Will went silent for a bit to think of his answer.

“Well, you know, attraction is subconscious. The way the human body works is that our bodies subconsciously pick out the genes that fit the best with yours, and start to send signals of attraction. These signals of attraction can be equivalent to the high of a drug.”

“Okay, I’ve heard enough of your healthcare lesson.”

“I wasn’t done.”

“I don’t care about what you learned from the documentary that you watched last night.”

“Fine, dickhead.”

After only a few more minutes of walking, we reached school. We were about to split ways to head to our own lockers and then said one last thing to me.

“Oh yeah, one last thing,” he said

“What is it?”

“I’m not going to force you to not tell anyone about it, but can you at least not spread it to the whole school or tell someone that you know will spread it. Oh yeah, and her! Whatever you do DO NOT tell her. K, see ya in class!”

Part 2

The bell rang as it hit 3:30 and it was time for everyone to go to class. Nothing too significant happened today after my conversation with Will, other than when this one idiot in my class pissed his pants in PE after drinking too much apple juice during lunch. The dumbass thought it would be a funny idea to bring a whole litre sized bottle of apple juice to school and see how much of it he could drink. He ended up finishing the whole bottle, but with the price of public humiliation a few hours later.

There has been one thing bothering me throughout the day though, and that was what Will had said to me before he left for his locker. He told me not to tell anyone who would spread the news. I’m starting to question if I can really trust Xela. She told me to report everything that happened yesterday to her, but I’m really questioning whether I could really trust her or not. After all, we had only just started talking yesterday.

We arranged a meeting at Filip’s Cafe today to discuss how the results of the love calculator went, and future plans. As I exit the school, I see her waiting for me near the gate.

“Ex-eela!” I call out to her.

“I told you not to call me that,” she said as we began our walk to the cafe.

“But saying your actual name is too hard.”

“I don’t understand what’s so hard about saying Zee-La. Wait I forgot, I’m talking to a bonehead who thinks it’s too difficult to pronounce the last letter in the alphabet followed up by ‘the’ in French.”

“Oh, so it’s like Zee-Le.”

“Okay, now you’re just trying to piss me off”

“What? You never specified whether it’s the masculin form or feminine, Wait, it completely slipped my mind that it could be plural as well. Is it Zee-Les? Did I get it right that time?”

“Why are you so annoying? I feel bad for the lucky woman who has to deal with you in the future.”

“For now, you're stuck with me though," I said with a smile, patting her on the head.

“Unfortunately.”

“Ouch. I’ll have you know, a lot of people enjoy my presence.”

“Well, those people must be ill in the head.”

“Can’t argue with you on that one. All my friends are pretty fucking dumb.”

After another 10 or so minutes of random chitter-chatter, we finally made it to Filip’s Cafe. We ordered our coffee and sat by the window, like last time. Once again, we both sat there sipping our coffees every once in a while and trying to avoid eye contact. I could have easily broken the silence and awkwardness but I decided to keep it like that again, as I just found it funny.

We both finished our coffees after 20 minutes of sitting there and doing nothing. Another 10 minutes passed by until I just had enough and finally decided to start the conversation.

“How come we can talk to each other so easily when we’re walking here, but once we enter it turns dead silent?”

“Outside, people can’t hear what we’re saying. In the cafe, however, they can and when they do hear our conversation they’re gonna think we’re lunatics. Actually, they’re just going to think I’m a lunatic for talking to someone as obnoxious and stupid as you.”

“Makes sense. I don’t like leaving a bad impression on strangers either.”

“However, we didn’t come to this cafe just to drink coffee and waste time. We need to start talking. How did things go on your end?”

“Why should I tell you? How do I know you’re not just using me to find out how Will feels and then spread it to the whole school.”

“So I’m assuming that’s a yes.”

“Hey, don’t ignore me!.”

"Continuing on-"

"Hey, don’t ignore my question!" I exclaimed.

“Use your fucking head for once in your life. Just how fucking retarded are you? How can I benefit from spreading a rumour that some guy likes some girl in fucking high school? This is 12th Grade for fuck sake! Nobody gives a shit who likes who unless it involves them. Also, remember I’m Rebekah’s friend?? How’s she going to feel after I spread a rumour to the whole school about how this kid is in love with her?

“O-Okay, I'll tell you. I'm sorry," I said, completely taken aback by her reaction.

She then smiles as if she’s happy again. What the fuck? Why is she smiling like that?

“Good," she said, still smiling.

She was never really angry, was she?

"You manipulative-"

"You should have seen your reaction. You looked like a cute puppy who felt guilty after biting its owner."

I felt my face slowly grow hotter, partially in embarrassment and partially in anger.

“You’re twisted, you know,” I said.

“I know, but it was totally worth it.” She then noticed how red my face was. "What is your face getting so red for? It was just a-”

“Shut up!"

Looking at the time on my phone, I realized I didn't have too much time left before I needed to leave and we needed to get back on topic.

“So, let’s get back on track now. Since things went fine on my end, how did it go with Rebekah?” I asked.

“Let’s see. After she completely fell for it, she first started yelling how dead I was, followed by giving me a healthcare lesson on attraction and how our nose hairs subconsciously pick up the genes that fit perfectly with ours.”

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding with me.”

“What?"

“Lover boy on my end was saying the exact same thing probably referring to the same fucking documentary they both watched."

“Wow, they really are alike.”

“It’s pretty scary, actually..”

“Thanks to Rebekah, I have a whole encyclopedia about attraction and how attraction signals are transmitted implanted in my head now.”

“Really? I told Will to shut up before he could go on any further.”

“Lucky ass, she went on for what felt like hours and hours. I almost fell asleep. I could teach you all about it if you want.”

“No thank you.”

Part 3

“How about… we set them up for an aquarium date!” she suggested.

It was 6 P.M, and we are still in Filip’s Cafe thinking of ideas for setting up Will and Rebekah.

"Sorry to break the news to you, but we don't live in the anime world."

“Name me three anime with aquarium dates.”

“Uh, Date A Live, Just Because!, and Scum’s Wish.”

“What the hell is Scum’s Wish? Since nobody has ever heard of that show that doesn’t count.”

“How have you never heard Scum’s Wish? Masterpiece.. Anyway, I think High School DxD also had an aquarium date scene somewhere in there.”

“Perv-” she was about to say before I cut her off.

“I don’t want to hear it!" I interrupted before she could finish the word.

“Whatever you say Merv. Can you give me an actually VALID reason for no aquarium date.”

“It’ll get awkward really quickly and get really boring on the guy’s part. The girl will just be there looking at all the fish either saying they’re really scary or really cute and telling the boy one of the fish looks like him. The guy will just be standing there nodding and agreeing with everything the girl is saying and is secretly dying inside.”

“Wow, looks like someone didn’t have an enjoyable time on their last date.”

“Haven’t I told you already? Nobody’s ever asked me out.”

“I thought you were joking. How come? Weren’t you together with that one girl last year?”

“I didn’t know I had so many fans following my life in school.”

“Shut up and explain.”

“Long story short, she was just using me to get some other guy on my hockey team. She had the genius idea of pretending to like me so I can introduce her to that guy on my hockey team, break up with me, and then ask him out. Since she never actually liked me, she never asked me out and I never asked her out. “

“I-I sincerely feel bad for you,” she said, trying to hold in her laughter.

“Nah, it’s okay. I could tell what she was doing right when she started talking. I just went along with it so I could see what that friend on my hockey team would do once she asked him out. Luckily, he flat out rejected her. What a guy.”

“No, not because of that. I feel bad for you because your existence is so sad to the point where girls are using you to get closer to other guys.”

“Yeah, you get used to it. I expected it from the very beginning. Romantic relationships are meaningless to me. I really couldn't care anymore. How about you? I haven’t seen you with any guy yet.”

“I don’t know. I don’t think anybody looks at me like that. I’ve always been that person that everyone likes and gets along with fairly well, but I guess you could say that I’m not girlfriend material.”

“I don’t see why not? You’re pretty fun to talk to and kinda cute.”

Fuck! Did I just say that out loud? We both started blushing like crazy and instantly lost eye contact with each other.

There was a brief pause for a few seconds.

“Sorry. Words slipped out of my mouth,” I apologized.

“Don’t worry about it. It happens.”

After a while, our cheeks returned to its original colour, but we were both still looking out the window awkwardly and fidgeting.

“You know, a normal teenage boy and girl can say those things quite easily without getting embarrassed at all.”

"If you didn't already realize, we're not normal at all. We’re a bit higher than average when it comes to the Awkwardness scale. For some reason though, you like to say your awkward thoughts out loud when things are already awkward which makes me question whether you are actually awkward or not.”

“Oh that? It's just easier to say whatever the fuck I want to you, you know?"

“How come?"

“I don’t know. Talking to you is just easier. I know you won't judge me because you're just as awkward and shy as me. It's kind of comforting talking to someone like that."

“I can see where you're coming from," she said.

“If that’s the case, why haven’t we started talking before then?” I asked.

“Probably because we are socially awkward.”

“Well isn’t that ironic?”

“Took the words right out of my mouth.”