《Bob's Ascension to Godhood》032: The dragon's rant
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Bob stopped coughing just in time to see two eyes the size of doors open.
"Who dares to interrupt my nap?!"
The dragon looked down.
"Is it you, manling? Are you dragon food?"
"Wait, what? I mean, no! Of course not! Your Majesty, please spare-"
"What? Talk louder, manling!"
"Your draconic majesty, I wanted to try to get around you peacefully, and didn't dare to try to steal from your hoar-"
"Didn't dare to try to steal from my hoard? Didn't dare to try to steal from my hoard? Do you have any idea how many of those so-called adventurers say that?!"
"Your Majesty, I-"
"Every time! Every single time some manling adventurer comes here, wakes me from my nap, then claims that they didn't try to steal from my precious hoard! I know that none of you tried to steal from my hoard, because the few that actually did took away part of it! Every single time I take a little nap, some of my hoard goes missing! And then you manling come over here and wake me up! I know that you didn't try to steal from me, and I don't f*cking CARE!"
Oh. Well, that-
The dragon snorted.
"The dragon snorted?! That's all? It should be 'The majestic fire dragon, Smokewyrm Manslayer II, great calamity of the age, namesake of the Dragonsmoke Borders, Lord of Dragonfyre volcano'!"
'The majestic fire dragon, Smokewrym Manslayer II, great calamity of the age, namesake of the DragonSmoke Borders, lord of the Dragonfyre volcano' snorted.
"Hrm. Better. Now, manling, tell me what you want and hand me all your shinies so that I can completely ignore your request and go back to sleep."
Bob sighed. This dragon must follow the Dragon's Guide to Hoard Collecting, right?
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"I want-"
"I Can't hear you, manling. Speak louder. I may actually agree to your request if you have a lot of shinies to give me. Hah! Who am I kidding? Fine, I might agree to let you live if you give me enough shinies."
"I want nothing more than to cross your majesty, the majestic fire dragon, Smokewrym Manslayer II, great calamity of the age, namesake of the DragonSmoke Borders, lord of the Dragonfyre volcano's territory. I have no shinies with me right now, so I will gladly go and hunt for some shinies for your majesty, the majestic fire dragon, Smokewrym Manslayer II, great calamity of the age, namesake of the DragonSmoke Borders, lord of the Dragonfyre volcano, if you will let me live and agree to my humble request. I will also request that no more of us adventurers come and disrupt your majesty, the majestic fire dragon, Smokewrym Manslayer II, great calamity of the age, namesake of the DragonSmoke Borders, lord of the Dragonfyre volcano's nap."
Bob gasped for breath, only to cough some more as he inhaled a lot of smoke.
At least this name wasn't as ridiculous as "Super Mega Ultra Supreme Cheese Emperor" or whatever his name was. It was arguably longer though.
The dragon majestic fire dragon, Smokewrym Manslayer II, great calamity of the age, namesake of the DragonSmoke Borders, lord of the Dragonfyre volcano snorted again.
"...Agreed. But if you fail to double the size of my hoard within 2 month's time, I will hunt you down and kill you."
Bob sighed.
...What had he gotten himself into?
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