《Bob's Ascension to Godhood》031: It was all a dream
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Bob woke up.
Wait, what?
No, really. He woke up.
It was...
It was all a dream.
What a relief...
He wouldn't want the gods thinking that he forgot about pizza, now would he?
He would need some other way to become all-powerful; Maybe evacuate the italians first. Otherwise, the gods of Italy would probably vaporize him.
Ah, well.
He should've known that it was a dream, as Luck would never be so calm and Boredom would respond to his threats, even if he was asleep.
But wait.
Bob wasn't smart enough to dream that, concussion or not.
The dream must've been god-induced.
...That wasn't good.
Still, though, he should head over to the Mage Academy.
"Open the map."
[ Map opened. Please note that the glitch has been patched while you were dead, and so you may not attempt to make me malfunction again. You now only have access to the places you have been to. ]
Bob sighed.
"Noted."
Bob frowned as he noticed that he could just go to the Mage Academy in a straight line instead of going in a U shape like he did last time. The problem with this, however, was that he would have to cross the line between the desert and the...Dinosaur forest? He would have to ask the system about that place later.
Not that it would give him a useful answer anyway.
Anyway, he was aready...
"System, what level am I?"
[ You are currently at Level 25. ]
"Wait, how?"
The system sighed.
[ Through constantly absorbing EXP, master. Remember that you may choose to absorb any form of power that you wish, although absorbing anything other than experience points will drive you to become a god in that category. ]
Ah. No wonder the gods wanted him to absorb money.
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Wait, what?
"Did you just sigh?"
[ No, I believe I did not. I am incapable of sighing, master. ]
"Really? Then can you do anything other than spout useless information?"
[ Anything else is above my pay grade. ]
"Wait, you have a-"
[ That is none of your business, master. I suggest that you start traveling towards the [ Mage Acadamy ] along the [ Dragonsmoke Borders ] . ]
Huh.
That was a good point.
* * *
Bob yelped.
In front of him was a massive red dragon, probably the reason that the namesake of the place. Or the cause of it, anyway.
And it was sleeping.
And there was smoke spouting out of its nostrils.
At first, Bob had thought that there was some kind of legendary fire here. Maybe he could absorb it to increase his strength, somehow, like in those something-xia novels.
But now...
Bob decided that he would just sneak around it instead of trying to steal from the moutain of shiny things it was sleeping on.
Or maybe not.
Maybe he could absorb the coins?
[ Master, the council of dragons has prohibited gold absorption, or, more accurately, the absorption of anything shiny. ]
"Magical coins aren't shiny?"
[ According to the [ Dragon's guide to hoard collecting ], anything that is not gold or gems is not shiny enough to be part of a dragon's hoard. ]
"Do you think the dragon'll leave me alone if I go around it without trying to steal anything?"
[ Only if you do not wake it up. ]
Oh, that was easy.
The place was supposed to be named after the smoke that came out of the dragon's nostrils when it snored, right? So then didn't that mean that the dragon was sleeping for most of the time?
Speaking of smoke...
Bob coughed.
Bob coughed again.
And again.
[ It is also bad for your lungs to stay here, master, so I suggest that you leave as soon as possible. ]
Like that wasn't obvious enough.
Bob coughed again.
Bob looked and sounded like he was coughing up a hairball.
Wait, but with all that noise...
The dragon shifted.
Oh, sh*t.
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