《Bob's Ascension to Godhood》025: Azzi's Azzipiaria
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"...And so that's it."
The guy blinked.
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"But azzipi can be art."
"Not if you can't eat it, dimwit!"
"So are you saying that izzapi isn't qualified to be art?"
"Isn't qualified? ISN'T QUALIFIED?! IT'S OVERQUALIFIED! Pizza is FOOD, and it goes to waste if you don't eat it!"
"Hrm. You got a point there, little man."
"Little man? I'm not a little..."
Bob looked at the 7 foot man in front of him.
"You're all freaks."
* * *
As Bob left the hospital with guy, he decided that...
Wait.
Guy?
"What's your name?"
"Guy."
Oh. Maybe Guy already told Bob that his name was Guy and Bob just didn't remember.
Ah, well.
"Where are we heading?"
"First," Guy held up a finger, "We'll head to the azzipi place."
Bob perked up.
"For lunch?"
"Nah, just a snack."
"An entire pizza for a snack?"
"Azzipi. Why do you keep calling it that anyway? Anyway, they also azzipi in slices."
"So you buy a slice of pizza for a snack."
"No, 9 slices for a snack."
Bob frowned.
"How many slices are in a pizza?"
"Ten."
"So you buy nine tenths of a pizza for a snack?"
"Yeah."
"Ah..."
"That makes a lot more sense."
Both of them laughed.
"Should I question the pizza shop owner for his sh*t-brained decision to waste a ton of perfectly good pizza on a massive pizza tree before or after I taste the pizza? Is it any good?"
"If it wasn't any good, why would I be bringing anyone there in the first place?"
"Because pizza's pizza."
"What about the evil on the other side of the...?"
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"Pizza's pizza, even if it's cheese pizza."
Guy nodded grimly.
"You know of the evil lurking on the other side of the world?"
"I ate an extra large one yesterday."
Guy stopped walking.
"What?"
"You...You actually..."
"Well, what would you expect? For me to just leave it there?!"
"...Good point."
"But how did you get it in the first place?"
"I argued with the king of the gods for a while."
"You...What?"
"Nothing. Oh, look, we're here!"
In front of them was a little pizza shop; Kind of like Vito's from Garfield.
It had a giant pizza on top too, in case the name of the restruant, Azzi's Azzipiaria, didn't make the fact that they sold pizza, or azzipi, obvious enough.
"Hello, Guy! And who have you brought with you here on this fine day?"
An italian guy with a big fancy moustache, presumably Azzi, the italian guy, not the moustache, spoke as soon as Bob opened the door.
"Are you Azzi?"
The italian guy with a fancy moustache frowned.
"No, of course not. Why does everyone keep asking me that?"
"The big sign outside said 'Azzi's Azzipia-"
"And what makes you think that I am the Azzi in question?"
"Ah... Good point. Anyway, I'd like a... What kind of pizza do you sell here?"
"May I ask what this 'Pizza' that you speak of is? I am sorry to say that we only sell azzi-"
"Pizza is azzipi."
"Ah."
"Well, then, we have..."
"Pineapple azzipi, mushroom azzipi, Pepporoni azzipi, jalapeno azzipi, chikicker azzipi, beorfioli azzipi, arjidoliferaldo azzipi, pi-"
"Okay, what kind of pizza do you not sell?"
"The most evil of them all, cheese pizza..."
"Well, then, can I have a bit of everything?"
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