《Bob's Ascension to Godhood》024: Pizza pizza pizza
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After thinking for about half a minute, Bob decided to tackle this situation like the brave man he was.
He would...
Play dead.
After all, he wasn't exactly the bravest man on the planet.
Going along with his plan, Bob rolled his eyes back and promptly fell to the floor with a thud.
He forgot that the floor was both
a) cold, and
b) hard.
He could still feel the stares of all present, as well as a sharp pain on the back of his head.
"How?"
One of the many spectators in the crowd the question that everyone was thinking of.
...Yes...
Maybe they would lose interest...
"How..."
Come on, look away, look away...
"How did he fall asleep so suddenly?!"
...
Maybe they would lose interest...
* * *
They didn't lose interest.
Instead, they brought Bob to a hospital.
Well, it seemed to be a hospital, but Bob couldn't be sure, as his eyes were closed and he was focused on keeping his breathing even.
Inhale...
And exhale.
Inhale...
And exhale.
Inhale...
And-
"This guy just saw the Azzipi tree, stopped for a moment, then yelled 'All of you are idiots!'"
Bob heard a blink.
Don't ask me how.
At this point, I'm just as confused as you are.
"Then he passed out like this, and now he seems to be pretending to be asleep."
So far, so good...
Maybe he would get out of this-
Wait.
Let me go back and...
and now he seems to be pretending to be asleep.
Oh, sh*t.
* * *
"Hey, you can stop pretending to be asleep now."
Inhale...
Exhale...
Inhale...
Exhale...
Maybe he would be convinced that Bob was actually asl-
"You're not fooling anybody, you know."
Bob slo o o o o o o owly opened an eye.
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Then another.
Then a third.
Wait...
What?
Bob tried to look at his third eye.
Suprise!
He couldn't see it.
Bob frowned.
"Do I have three eyes?"
The man blinked.
"Not that I'm aware of."
Well, that's a relie-
"Are you drunk?"
"...No."
"Are you sure, man?"
"...Yes?"
"..."
"..."
"Hey, like, really, are you drunk?"
Bob thought for a moment.
Maybe the people here would stop bothering him if he claimed that he was drunk?
"Yeah..."
"I think I may be drunk."
The dude blinked.
"Oh."
"That makes..."
A lot of sense.
"...No sense at all."
Bob blinked his, thank the gods, 2 eyes.
"Wdym?"
"What?"
What kind of primitive language did they speak here?
"What do you mean?"
Bob sighed and repeated himself.
"Your breath smells like cheese azzipi, not alcohol, and if you were drunk enough to do what you did, you would be slurring all of your words."
Why couldn't the people here be dumber stupider less intellegent than Bob?
"Well, who are you to question, erm, I mean, whoooo aaaaare youuuuuuu tooooo queeeeeeestioooon aa druuuunnnnk mmannn onn wheeeethheeerrrr orrrr nooot heee's druuunk?"
"The guy who'll be leaving you here if you don't try to explain what really happened back there."
Bob gulped.
"Well, it all started with pizza..."
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