《Bob's Ascension to Godhood》017: The Aftermath
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It rained money.
Bob watched in awe as iron, bronze, and even silver coins rained down all around him.
Most of the rats fainted at the sight.
King SqueakyStomp III had died.
He was THE King SqueakyStomp III!
The most powerful creature that ever existed!
And then, this human came out of nowhere and used some strange witchcraft to burn him alive!
And then, he had turned into coins, but there were so many that it was impossible for the rats to collect all of it!
This was the most tragic event in their entire 2-year lifespan!
The rats who hadn't fainted all fainted when they saw all of the money disappearing into the human.
* * *
Bob frowned as he looked around him.
According to the map, some of the rats had suffered from heart attacks while others weren't much better off.
Bob decided that he would kill the rats in their sleep.
While Bob wasn't really the kind to kill people in their sleep, as he lacked the necessary cunningness and intellegence, these were rats, not people, and he didn't really see any other way out of it.
It was time for a more pathetic version of the Paoli Massacre.
* * *
"Hey, uh, sir?"
Bob had finally finished with the last of the vermin.
He had no idea how Washington had managed it; Bob had stomped on one rat, ONE RAT, and the rest had all woken up!
How the heck did Washington not wake the camp with 11,000 men?!
Before this, Bob had thought that the national hero of America was well-deserving of his position; He had ambushed a well-trained army of 17k with his own measly untrained army of 11k.
But now...
Now Bob knew that everything about Washington was exaggerated by the history book writers.
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"It's Super Mega Supreme Cheese Overlord, kid!"
The, er, slightly overweight, slightly grumpy man was smoking in his own factory.
"Yes, er, Super Mega Supreme Cheese Overlord."
"So why are ye here now?"
"Because I finished killing off all the vermin, sir."
"Super Mega Supreme Cheese Overlord!"
"Okay, er, Super Mega Supreme Cheese Overlord."
Before meeting the man, Bob had actually thought that he might receive more than what was written in the quest, as the "Super Mega Supreme Cheese Overlord" seemed to be the kind of man who liked dodging taxes.
Since the king took away a large portion of everything that was earned by adventuring guilds as "taxes", many people tended to list a meager amount for the quest but gave a lot more as a reward. This was why adventurers actually took on quests that had a meager amount listed in the job hall. After all, who likes paying more than neccessary to a tyrant?
But now, after meeting the self-proclaimed "Super Mega Supreme Cheese Overlord", all of Bob's hopes were run over by magical semitrucks.
Speaking of which, did cars even exist on this strange world?
He would ask one of the gods later.
"Erm, so, Super Mega Supreme Cheese Overlord, as I said, I finished killing the rats. There was also a Rat King, which is why it took so long. So I would like to request for a little extra money, since I also killed a-"
"Rat King? So there was a Rat King? Then you must've recieved a lot of money from killing the Rat King, right? Then why should I pay you any more if you already got gains from the Rat King, which was on my property?"
Well, that sure turned-
"Now I want ye to gimme all the money you got from the Rat King's drops, because it was killed on MY property, and so it should rightfully belong to me!"
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"But, sir-"
"How many times to I have to tell you, Super Mega Supreme Cheese Overlord!"
"But Super Mega Supreme Cheese Overlord, according to the rules set by the adventuring company, any-"
"Fine then! But ye already got MORE than ze amount I was gonna pay you, so ye should be grateful!"
The man spat while he talked.
"Well, happy Thanksgiving to you too..."
"Wuzzat?"
"Thanksgiving is a holiday from where I come fro-"
"Nobody cares! Just get the heck outta here!"
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