《Bob's Ascension to Godhood》016: The Rat King

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Bob sighed in relief.

The self-proclaimed "Super Mega Supreme Cheese Overlord" had finally left him to do his rat hunting by himself.

Now, he would face the easier part of the quest-- The part where he hunted the rats, the task that he had set out to do in the first place.

"System, open the detailed version of the map."

[ Map opened.]

[ The minimap will only show your immediate surroundings in detail.]

[ But be aware that you cannot expend luck points to make me glitch again.]

"Oh, come on, you try to make a little money one time, and..."

[ It is very displeasing and depressing to know that I used your luck points to make myself glitch, and even more so to know that I, the dignified System 467868, can- ]

"Enough."

Was his system starting to develop an attitude?

Bob sighed.

He looked at the red dots on the map, most likely the mice, and headed in the direction of the nearest one.

* * *

As Bob walked towards the place where a rat presumably hid, he decided that he would use the most effective way of killing rodents known to mankind...

He would stomp on them.

Wait, no, that wasn't it...

That was the primitive method for dealing with rodents.

Oh, right.

He would STOMP THEM FLAT.

Humanity really hadn't evolved as much as most may think.

* * *

Bob looked down at the rat.

It was less than a foot tall; perfect for stomping on.

But for some reason, it had a smug look on its face.

Almost like Bob was the one that was about to get stomped upon.

Uh oh.

Bob turned around.

He saw a wall of disgustingly moldy rat fur.

Bob looked up.

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He saw what seemed to be a giant rat head, towering 10 feet above him.

[ This is a [ Rat King ] ! ]

[ It is known for being the most dangerous kind of rat to exist on this planet! ]

[ The [ Rat King ] is coated in a kind of- ]

Oh, sh*t.

"SH*T, SH*T, SH*T!"

Bob fumbled with his dimensional backpack.

Where was his lighter when he needed it most?

* * *

The Rat King looked down at the puny human.

It seemed to be fiddling with a little thing on its back?

Huh.

The puny human looked up at the Rat King with fear in its eyes before going back to fiddling with that little brown thing, like it was looking for something.

The Rat King raised its foot to see how the puny human would react.

It cowered in fear, not like that was a big suprise.

After all, the Rat King was the most powerful creature in existence.

It was almost as smart as it was strong.

After all, it had an IQ score of cube root 1000!

The little blue screen had lied to him at first, saying that his IQ score was only 10.

But the Rat King knew better, so it had farted on the beaten the little blue screen half to death.

Then, it had tried to lie to him again, saying that his IQ score was square root 100, and that he should get some dee...o...drent? Who was that?

But the Rat King knew that it was much smarter than that.

So he had stomped beaten some more sense into the little blue screen.

Then, the little screen had finally admitted that he had CUBE ROOT 1000 IQ!

And so then...

Eh?

What's this?

The puny little human had taken out a strange tiny black thing?

And it was getting closer to him?

Hah!

The puny human actually thought that it could beat him with that tiny thing?

It was actually stupid eough to believe tha-

A strange tiny tiny yellow thing appeared above the strange tiny black thing.

And so ends the tale of King SqueakyStomp III.

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