《Bob's Ascension to Godhood》009: Magical sand boat

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Bob, fortunately, ended up exchanging some of his mountains of iron for bronze and silver. Alec, despite having thought about money the whole time, ended up forgetting about the 10% deduction and was instead in his house, crying to himself. Bob then happily started browsing through the trade district.

People say that only women actually enjoy the proccess of shopping. Bob used to say that as well. Now, Bob realized that the reason he never ennjoyed shopping was because he used to be quite poor. Back when he was on Earth, Bob only shopped out of necissity, as he didn't have enough money to buy whatever bought his fancy. No pun intended.

Now, as he browsed through the various shops, Bob found himself interested in various items. He bought all of them without any concern, as being a spendthrift would lessen the amount of iron coins he had. Bob thought about just making it rain coins, but he then realized that he would be able to gain a lot more from exchanging the coins for items than he would from just giving them away.

Bob found himself interested in several magical items, such as a magical tooth cleaner, which would wash his mouth with magic, which he would need to feed it magic coins to do, albeit not much, a magical blowtorch ( They called it a fire spitter, for some reason ), which literally burned money, and various other magical items. Apparantly, coins had their worth because they were literally condensed from magic; Thus, they were used as both currency and an energy source for magical items.

The item that Bob was interested in at the moment was a magic boat. The owner of the shop that was selling the boat was bragging, and clearly exaggerating about how great it was, enough so that even Bob knew what the owner of the shop was trying to do.

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"This hoop on ze boat, she sucks in air from de front like a massive whale, and-"

"Where did you ever see a whale?"

"Err, as I said, sucks in air like a massive whale and spits er out ze way a dragon spits fire."

"And where did you ever see a dragon? We're in the middle of a desert, where whales don't exist and dragons are mythical creatures."

"I been to more places, seen more sights than you coud possibly imagine!"

"Anyhoo, zis propels her forward like a cheetah and-"

"Old man, are you trying to drive me away? Just sell me the boat already and get it over with!"

Bob was usually very patient and he usually respected his elders, but this guy was taking it too far. Despite not being the sharpest tool in the shed, Bob knew that he had never actually seen a whale, nor a dragon, or even a cheetah, since before he bragged about the boat he had bragged that he ran this shop his entire life, a major flaw on his part. Everyone else could vouch for that; He was known as Old Man Thompson, and he had never set foot outside of the city, despite having made up many tales of adventuring all over the world.

Bob quickly bought the boat and decided that he would rest for the night and leave the city tomorrow morning.

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