《Bob's Ascension to Godhood》002: What's that?
Advertisement
After walking for a few hours, Bob decided that it may have been time to try to make a campfire.
He asked himself a series of questions, namely how, why, when, where, who, what and why.
The first question was, how should he make the campfire?
He attempted to make use of sticks and rocks for a while, but failed because they were drenched in the same rain as he was earlier. It didn't matter much anyway, because he didn't even know how to make a campfire that way. He then realized that he still had a lighter in his, fortunately waterproof, miscellanious pack of supplies.
Next, he had to ask himself, why would he make the campfire?
Because he got drenched by rain earlier and would die of Hyperthermia if he didn't.
When would he make the campfire?
Preferably as soon as possible.
Now, who would he make the campfire with?
Himself.
Where would he make the campfire?
Right here.
And finally, what would he make the campfire with?
Hmm, that's a good question.
He took out some of the less interesting books in his backpack.
* * *
Not long after he managed to light the books on fire, some inhabitants from the village that he built the campfire in front of came out.
"Why are you lighting a fire here?"
"Because I'm cold."
"But why don't you just come into the village?"
"Because I didn't notice it."
"Wait."
"What?"
"Let me get this straight."
"?"
"You light a campfire right in front of our village, while facing our direction, and you didn't notice it?"
"I was busy asking myself the 6 W's, from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."
"What?"
"A book from far, far away."
Advertisement
"Okaaay... So then what are the 6 W's?"
"How, When, Where, Who, What, and Why."
"As in, How do we eat lunch, Why do we eat lunch, When do we eat lunch, What do we eat for lunch, Who do we eat with, and finally, Where do we eat lunch?"
"But How starts with an H."
"Yeah, I was wondering about that one myself, and so that's why I didn't notice the village here."
"Ah."
"Yeah."
"Yeah."
"Um...So..."
"I'm David. Who are you?"
"I'm hungry. Mind getting me something to eat?"
* * *
David led him into the village, which was much friendlier than the last one.
David bought Bob dinner, which Bob tried, but failed, to refuse, courtesy of his grumbling stomach.
"Would you mind giving me some of the books in your pack, with me buying you dinner and all?"
"Sure."
"Thanks, bro, You have no idea how much I could sell those for. Books from outside are really hard to get, that with the village being in a relatively remote area and all that."
"You should've asked earlier, I burned some of the uninteresting ones in the campfire."
". . ."
"I'm suprised that the people here actually speak english, though."
Bob continued to converse with David, while the latter was grinning inwardly while thinking about the fortune he could make from selling the former's books. As David mentioned earlier, books from outside, or even books in general, due to the lack of paper, really were rare, and the villagers were definitely more than willing to buy some. The rest of the people in the restraunt watched with envy.
* * *
The next day, After David had already sold half the books in Bob's posession, Bob had to ward off a mob of brown-nosers. He used to do some brown-nosing himself, and now he finally realised why the people on Earth found it so annoying.
David had officially became business partners with Bob, who found that he liked his new life. Everywhere he went, his fan club (The brown-nosers who still hadn't figured out that brown-nosing wouldn't get them to where David was) followed. Being brown-nosers, they naturally brown-nosed and paid for all his meals. Bob liked his new life.
Advertisement
- In Serial108 Chapters
Galactic Fist of Legend
In the year 2018 a bright star appeared near Earth. Humanity as a whole was briefly introduced to a race of beings far beyond their understanding. During that brief interaction a proclamation was made, Defeat the Grand Emissary or become the eternal slaves of those who had arrived at Earth. The only chance for victory was for people all across the globe to make a choice. When prompted to become a champion and a play a bizarre game of life or death they could choose yes or no. Those who chose no, went about their lives afterward. All memory of the event was lost despite the fact that their very existence as a free species hung by a single thread. Will those who said yes manage to survive the horror of the game and become strong enough to defeat the Grand Emissary. Can one of them become... The Galactic Fist of Legend. Also, it's a comedy. Pretty obvious, right? Notes: This story will contain graphic violence, stupid humor, nudity, sexiness, and maybe I'll give the main character a pet cat or something. I don't know yet. Still, you need to be pretty mature to properly take care of a pet. Notes2: This story is my answer to stories such as Gantz, Terror Infinity, Battle Royale, Btoom!, and strangely enough... Captain N: The Video Game Master. It is an original story, but it does seek to give a similar vibe to some of those tales of legend. However, it is not meant to be an overly serious tale as I have decided that the new stories that I release in the coming year will be mostly comedies.
8 226 - In Serial56 Chapters
The Great legend of Fafnir: The Beginning
Long ago, a kingdom reigned supreme, ruling over a country that was to make its mark in history. One night, the royal family had arranged for a celebration that will forever be known to the rest of the world. And be known throughout it did, for blood was spilt, and the lineage was stained red. One man took it upon himself to change this destiny, forcing the kingdom to crumble under his might. he carried with him the idol of Arakthur, the first dragon of existence, waltzing through the land as he tears the nation to ruin. In his wake, he stumbled upon a boy whom fate favored, and so did he. "I will give you a life you were never meant to have. Abandon your past. You will have no choice but to live as I dictate you to." And in the end, you will realize, your true purpose.
8 90 - In Serial6 Chapters
Fais Toi Plaisir
Serial killers. The world's most atrocious job, but in the Callahan family, it is a mere walk in the park. A family born from killers, children born to be killers. Anything atrocious you can think of, the Callahan family has probably done it.
8 129 - In Serial17 Chapters
Origin of Evil
The world is in a state of turmoil and upheaval. The religious fanatics hailing from the desert city-state of Kenan have completed a war of conquest against their neighbors, the ancient kingdom of Forelia. The Forelian capital has been razed to the ground and looted, its people sold into slavery. Gideon is a skilled warrior fighting for the Singing Blades, a mercenary warband led by Gideon's father, who have been contracted by the Kenanite king to fight on his behalf. When the Singing Blades are annihilated on a patrol, Gideon is cast adrift to find new purpose in a world bereft of justice. But fate has taken notice of Gideon. He is destined to meet and train the woman who will restore balance to the world, at the point of a sword. Cold steel will shed gallons of red blood in this novel about bravery and the cost of heroism. Please leave comments or reviews with criticism! I'm posting this explicitly for that purpose, so anything you have to say is very welcome. Updates every Thursday. Maybe. Depends on if I think the chapter is ready.
8 346 - In Serial19 Chapters
Rescuing Andy
This book sees the police force of Toronto losing Jerry trying to save Andy when she is shot twice in the stomache. Will the force and more importantly her boyfriend Sam Swarek be able to save her in time?
8 220 - In Serial11 Chapters
Draco's Hufflepuff
Y/N Potter, a Hufflepuff prefect in her 6th year, yes Harry potter had a twin sister that no one knew about. What if said twin sister has always had a tiny crush on a certain Malfoy, what if said sister suddenly finds a certain Malfoy crying and comforts him. What if said twin sister and a certain Malfoy become friends in secret.New chapter every Sunday! Started - 18/07/2021Top 200 - 16/12/2021 • 1 - #xpotterreader• 1 - #readerhufflepuff• 1 - #hufflepuffprefect• 1 - #hufflepuffgirlprefect • 1 - #dracoxpotterreader • 4 - #hufflepuffreader • 13 - #prefect • 32 - #6thyear
8 84

