《Bob's Ascension to Godhood》002: What's that?
Advertisement
After walking for a few hours, Bob decided that it may have been time to try to make a campfire.
He asked himself a series of questions, namely how, why, when, where, who, what and why.
The first question was, how should he make the campfire?
He attempted to make use of sticks and rocks for a while, but failed because they were drenched in the same rain as he was earlier. It didn't matter much anyway, because he didn't even know how to make a campfire that way. He then realized that he still had a lighter in his, fortunately waterproof, miscellanious pack of supplies.
Next, he had to ask himself, why would he make the campfire?
Because he got drenched by rain earlier and would die of Hyperthermia if he didn't.
When would he make the campfire?
Preferably as soon as possible.
Now, who would he make the campfire with?
Himself.
Where would he make the campfire?
Right here.
And finally, what would he make the campfire with?
Hmm, that's a good question.
He took out some of the less interesting books in his backpack.
* * *
Not long after he managed to light the books on fire, some inhabitants from the village that he built the campfire in front of came out.
"Why are you lighting a fire here?"
"Because I'm cold."
"But why don't you just come into the village?"
"Because I didn't notice it."
"Wait."
"What?"
"Let me get this straight."
"?"
"You light a campfire right in front of our village, while facing our direction, and you didn't notice it?"
"I was busy asking myself the 6 W's, from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."
"What?"
"A book from far, far away."
Advertisement
"Okaaay... So then what are the 6 W's?"
"How, When, Where, Who, What, and Why."
"As in, How do we eat lunch, Why do we eat lunch, When do we eat lunch, What do we eat for lunch, Who do we eat with, and finally, Where do we eat lunch?"
"But How starts with an H."
"Yeah, I was wondering about that one myself, and so that's why I didn't notice the village here."
"Ah."
"Yeah."
"Yeah."
"Um...So..."
"I'm David. Who are you?"
"I'm hungry. Mind getting me something to eat?"
* * *
David led him into the village, which was much friendlier than the last one.
David bought Bob dinner, which Bob tried, but failed, to refuse, courtesy of his grumbling stomach.
"Would you mind giving me some of the books in your pack, with me buying you dinner and all?"
"Sure."
"Thanks, bro, You have no idea how much I could sell those for. Books from outside are really hard to get, that with the village being in a relatively remote area and all that."
"You should've asked earlier, I burned some of the uninteresting ones in the campfire."
". . ."
"I'm suprised that the people here actually speak english, though."
Bob continued to converse with David, while the latter was grinning inwardly while thinking about the fortune he could make from selling the former's books. As David mentioned earlier, books from outside, or even books in general, due to the lack of paper, really were rare, and the villagers were definitely more than willing to buy some. The rest of the people in the restraunt watched with envy.
* * *
The next day, After David had already sold half the books in Bob's posession, Bob had to ward off a mob of brown-nosers. He used to do some brown-nosing himself, and now he finally realised why the people on Earth found it so annoying.
David had officially became business partners with Bob, who found that he liked his new life. Everywhere he went, his fan club (The brown-nosers who still hadn't figured out that brown-nosing wouldn't get them to where David was) followed. Being brown-nosers, they naturally brown-nosed and paid for all his meals. Bob liked his new life.
Advertisement
- In Serial7 Chapters
Sett
Sett, like many other of his age, dreamt of adventure and glory. This dream, however, would all too soon turn into a horror filled nightmare. Chaos erupts all around Sett as an entire town turns into a no man’s land where only monsters thrive. Sett will struggle and bleed, but also uncover many secrets along the way, some of which were never meant to be revealed. Who is Sett truly? Who or what is his father whom he had never met? Why is his mother’s former life shrouded in mystery? Only time will tell…
8 140 - In Serial54 Chapters
Scenario 66
Silven isn’t too happy when he stops to consider his miraculous prison escape, a guiding voice on the air and the herd of terrifying black knights hunting him down and realises he may be important. Equally, he’s not going to be too happy when he learns he’s nothing more than a character in a video game in chapter 3.8. There’s just no pleasing some people. But by the time of this realisation, Silven is all-powerful and all-arrogant, with a couple of game-breaking businesses under his belt. And when he finally understands he has been meddling with the very fabric of his own reality, the damage may already have been done. This fiction contains: * Approx. 4,342,213 video game tropes, mechanics and cliches * Very light levelling and business development (but no tables. Other than the one on the cover). * A rather acquired taste in dry, sarcastic humour. * 0 dragons. Why no dragons, man? Chapters will be released EVERY DAY, in order to sufficiently punish you for all the bad things you've done in life.
8 188 - In Serial27 Chapters
Shifted
After the world is almost entirely overrun by a mysterious force known only as the Spread, individual cities struggle to survive behind Barriers with limited resources under the direct supervision of the richest among them. Accidentally overhearing a plot by his city's leader to doom a large swathe of the population, Lysander Badeaux concocts a last ditch slapdash plan to save them. Enlisting the help of the city's most feared assassin, the Red Morn, he sets out to fix what's broken, only to stumble upon more than he bargained for in the process. With Red keeping a host of secrets from him--and not to mention following him around for some inexplicable reason--Lysander may just bumble his way into a conspiracy or a magic world or, if he's excessively unlucky (and he is), both. Note: First time posting here or any original fiction, in general. Please feel free to give any feedback you like! Much love and thanks for reading. Posts every week (gods willing).
8 176 - In Serial24 Chapters
Where Giants Roam
Adventure is enticing and it opens people's eyes. Change is therefore inevitable and while faith grounds people, acceptance is often the hardest challenge.
8 244 - In Serial33 Chapters
The Female Alpha // ✓
Paige Edwards has waited from the time she was sixteen for her mate, just like any other werewolf. But, seven years later, she is still yet to find her mate, has an adopted son, and an entire pack to run. Paige was the Female Alpha, and nothing was going to get in her way.Highest ranking: #104 in werewolf [08/07/17]Started: 2015 Oct 29 Finished: 2016 Jun 28© Leo Smith 2015-2016
8 137 - In Serial29 Chapters
Apartment Below- Partly Dialogue ✔
Highest ranking #40 in short stories(Unedited)"I have hung up on you twice already. Don't you understand that I do not have time for you to complain about the fact that you have to clean your room Elizabeth?!""I am not Elizabeth. I just called to ask you a question-""Well I do not have the time to talk too you either."----When a boy calls the girl above and keeps calling.
8 133

