As she pulled herself back down the hall she had initially come from, Luna felt her chest tighten and she glanced back behind her. Part of her wanted to go back and join her sister, but she knew she would probably only get in the way. They had spent a long time talking about the future and no one could really come to any official conclusions because they could not make any decisions without Katie. Luna knew that it came down to Katie’s choice whether she would accompany her and her parents out to sea or not, and they were all willing to give her the space to decide. She did not want to sway her sister or make her feel pressured – Luna could not imagine having to make that sort of choice – so she was purposefully trying to stay out of the way, but she still missed her. She did not want to be separated from her, but did not know what to do.

She sighed as she reached up and pulled on the string dangling from the door in front of her. As it swung open, she was blasted with the refreshing smell of saltwater. The wide room had a special pool built into the floor so that Mer could come and go from it to the ocean. The house was built partially on stilts so that it stretched out over the water, with a wide dock and plenty of room to swim and lounge. It was lovely and Luna had instantly felt comfortable. The last few moons, she had grown accustomed to being out of the water, and it felt nice having the option to get in and out.

Karina and Nero were huddled together in the water. They were both smiling with their heads bent and her brother had one hand beneath Karina’s protective fins. She smiled when she noticed them interacting with their son. She was eager to meet the new baby, but she understood why they were being cautious. The young Mer had to be incredibly fragile and they were new parents.

She was not the only one watching them. Her mother was leaning back on her hands with her tail trailing in the water as she sat on the edge of the pool and observed their interaction with a small smile. Her gaze drifted to Luna and her smile widened as she beckoned with a hand.

Luna smiled back and pulled herself over. She flopped her tail off the wheeled board she had been using to get around and propped herself upright. The water was pleasantly cool against her scales as she dipped her fin into the water. She was shoulder to shoulder with her mother, and once she was sitting up properly, she wound up getting bumped sideways. There was no genuine force behind the nudge, but she still nearly lost her balance wound up clutching the edge of the pool to steady herself.

When she glanced up, she found her mother poking her tongue out between her teeth. She reached out and draped an arm over Luna’s shoulders, and pulled her closer. “Sorry Luna, I did not mean to unbalance you. Are you alright?”

Luna swallowed the heavy lump in her throat and nodded. Physically, she was fine, but she was still in turmoil over the very real possibility that she might have to leave her sister behind. It was selfish, but Luna wanted to scream and cry and beg Katie to come with them and never leave her side.

“You are quiet,” her mother observed. “Are you sure you are alright?”

“Yes,” Luna lied. She hoped that vocalizing would reassure her mother, but she merely raised a brow. Luna shivered beneath the intense gaze and then sighed. “No,” she admitted finally.

Her mother lifted her free hand and gently stroked her knuckles over Luna’s cheek. She had a warm, sympathetic smile on her features, but she also exuded a calm demeanour. She tucked some of Luna’s hair back behind her ear and kissed her brow. “Would you like to tell me about it? I have to know what is wrong if I am going to attempt to help.”

Luna wrung her fingers and shrugged her shoulders. The yawning sorrow in her heart stretched wider and she shivered. “It is nothing,” she muttered finally.

“Obviously it is not nothing,” her mother argued gently. “You are sad. Are you hurt?”

Luna shook her head again. She chewed her lip. She did not want to admit the selfish thoughts pooling in her head.

Her mother pursed her lips and grabbed Luna’s chin. She dragged her head up until their gazes met. Luna froze. She knew her mother would never hurt her, but direct eye contact like this, which she did not initiate, tended to still make Luna feel nervous and as though she was in trouble. “Luna, you can talk to me, okay?” her mother pressed. “I will not force you, but I hope you know that you always can. I hope you do not think it would make me angry. Is it something about me or your father?”

Luna shook her head. “No. No, not at all. I am not mad at anyone or hurt by anyone, I just…” Luna trailed off and twisted her fingers painfully once more. After a moment of doing it, her mother placed a hand over Luna’s and squeezed gently. Luna paused and glanced up to find her mother’s dark gaze watching her patiently. She sagged and felt tears brim in her eyes. “D-do you think K-Katie will want to come with us?”

Her mother’s eyes glittered and her lips pressed to a thin line as she rubbed away a tear from Luna’s cheek. Luna stared back while biting her lip and desperately hoping her mother would have a better answer than the crushing one squishing down on her heart. Her mother embraced her and pulled Luna against her chest as she began to rub her back. She dropped her chin onto the crown of Luna’s head and Luna closed her eyes.

Her mother was warm and soft, and she smelled nice, but Luna could also taste the bitter tang of regret in her mother’s scent and it made her heart squeeze with worry. She hated that this was so hard and that she had to feel so torn. It was not helping her to resist the urge to rush to Katie’s side and beg her to stay with her.

“Oh Luna, I do not know,” her mother murmured. “But you know we cannot force her to come.”

“I know,” Luna whimpered. “I want her to be happy. I just…I know it is selfish, but I want her to be happy coming with us too.”

Her mother clucked her tongue and Luna could feel her head shaking slowly. “It is not selfish, Luna. I understand why you feel this way. I am sure it is just as difficult for Katie. She loves you and the two of you protected each other from something awful for a long time. You have a special connection because you understand what the other went through. It is not selfish to cling to that now.” She kissed Luna’s head and stroked her hair. “I know it is hard, but you have to accept that most of her family is here and she was raised in a very different culture. She is not as comfortable in her own skin yet and life in a pod is very different from how humans seem to live. Even if she does come with us, she may not adjust well enough to stay.”

A sob scalded Luna’s throat and she threw her arms around her mother and clung tightly. Her mother tightened her embrace but said nothing while Luna cried. She felt her mother’s hand rubbing up and down her back, but other than that, her mother just held her and allowed her to cry. She did not hush her or reassure her or otherwise try to stem the overflow of emotion pouring from Luna’s quivering body.

It felt rather cathartic just to let everything in her heart out, but when her wails began to die away, Luna began to feel hollow and guilty. She had basically dripped snot and tears all over her mother’s scales. “I am sorry,” she whispered.

“Luna, do not be sorry for feeling sad,” her mother replied. “I know this is hard for you. Sometimes you just need to let that out, you do not have to apologize for that. Do you feel any better?”

Luna shrugged. “I have just felt so useless lately. Katie has always tried her best to protect me and make me feel safe and happy. Now that she has been the one sick and in danger, I feel like I should be able to do more.”

Her mother shook her head. “You are not useless, Luna. You have been through a lot and no one expects you to just be okay or capable of everything right away. Katie knows that you care for her, and we understand that this is hard. I am proud of you, Luna, and we will find a solution to this problem, alright?”

“Like what?”

Her mother pursed her lips and ran her fingers idly through Luna’s hair. She hummed softly and clucked her tongue. “I think part of that answer depends on you, Luna,” she replied after a moment. “If Katie chooses to stay here, what are you going to do?”

“What do you mean?” Luna asked.

“If she wants to stay, are you going to decide to stay as well or come join our pod?”

Luna looked down at her hands. “I…I did not know I had options,” she admitted. She chewed her lip. She was not sure she wanted to have to make that choice. It was daunting and horrible to imagine choosing between Katie and the family she wanted desperately to get to know better. She suddenly imagined she had an idea of how Katie must be feeling. Luna swallowed the lump lodged in her throat and took a shaky breath.

Her mother hummed, but the sound had a sorrowful tone to it. When Luna glanced at her, she found her mother’s eyes sparkling with unshed tears, though the woman forced a smile. “Of course you have a choice, Luna. When I first saw you again back on that beach…I will admit, I saw my baby girl all over again. You are still that girl, still my child, and nothing is ever going to change that. But you are no longer six cycles and it took me a bit to comprehend that properly. It pains me that I was so absent in your life, but you have had to grow up without me. I will not pretend that I have the right to make major decisions in your life for you now.”

Luna leaned forward against her mother. “I have wanted to know you – and our family – again for so long,” she admitted. “I want to stay with you. I finally feel like I have a chance to be more than the trauma Katie and I have endured…but I do not want to leave Katie behind. I cannot just go and pretend that none of this happened. I…I still need her. But I do not know how we could visit…it sounds very far.”

Her mother sighed and nodded. She flicked her fin and sent water droplets skipping across the surface of the pool. “It is,” she agreed. “But we will figure out a solution no matter what choices are made today, alright?”

Luna nodded. She took a breath. It was not fair of her to get so upset over a possible choice that was not hers to make regardless. Katie had done a lot for her and Luna knew her friend needed to make choices for herself now. Their decisions were going to shape the rest of a life that others had influenced without their consent for a while now. She had every right to live however she wanted. Luna was just hoping they would still have a place in one another’s lives.

“Have you talked to Katie about any of this?” her mother checked.

Luna shook her head and wrung her fingers again. “I do not want to make her feel worse.”

Her mother nodded and pressed her lips to Luna’s forehead. “Okay. I want you to stay here with Karina and Nero for a bit, alright? I am going to go see what they are discussing in the other room and talk to your father about some options. If we have any possible solutions, I will make sure you are brought in to decide with us, okay?

“Okay,” Luna agreed. She gave her mother another hug and then pulled the board she had ridden in on closer to offer it to her mother.

Rebecca smiled and gave Luna a gentle nudge. “Go join your brother,” she urged. “I will be back soon.”

Luna found herself lingering on the side and watching her mother leave. She was grateful that her parents were so understanding. She was glad she had her family and that Katie had hers, but she wished she could think of an easy way that they could all stay close.

“Luna!” Her head jerked up when she heard Nero call her name. He and Karina were smiling brightly at her, and Karina was waving her over.

Luna smiled and waved back before repositioning herself and diving into the water. The pool was a pleasantly cool temperature and Luna twisted in a full spin as she stretched her muscles. When she surfaced, she found both of them grinning widely at her.

“Are you feeling better?” Karina inquired.

Luna averted her gaze as she felt the prickling heat rise in her cheeks. She had forgotten they would have been able to overhear her meltdown. She nodded.

“We called you over to meet your nephew,” Nero added.

Luna felt excitement surge in her chest as she turned to her brother. He had a wide smile on his face and he dipped his chin in a gesture. It was then that she noticed he was holding the baby. The infant Mer was no longer wrapped in Karina’s fins. Luna peered curiously at him. The baby had pale skin and his tiny skull was covered in soft, fuzzy follicles of reddish-orange hair. His eyes were closed and his little hands were curled into loose fists, but based on how still and quiet he was, Luna assumed he was asleep.

Her gaze travelled lower over his tail. His scales had mostly grown in, and neat rows of tightly packed inky scales flowed down the stubby limb and ended in two pale gray split fins. As Nero shifted his son in his arms, the baby’s scales caught the light and glistened with a shimmering rainbow deep in the surrounding abyss of dark colouring. Along his sides were two side by side stripes of scales that almost seemed to glow and pulse in the light. One was a shimmering gold shade and the other a deep ruby.

Luna wondered if perhaps they might actually glow in the dark or if they were meant to be a distracting flash in the light. She supposed it could be either and she would not know until night or as the baby got a little older. “He is beautiful,” she murmured.

When she glanced up between them, both Karina and Nero were glowing with pride.

“What are you going to name him?” Luna asked as she glanced back down at the slumbering infant.

“Actually, we were thinking about naming him after you,” Karina replied.

Luna’s head shot up and her brows knitted together as she mulled that statement over. It felt like it was meant to be flattering, but mostly she was confused. “You want to name him Luna?” she checked. Then her blush returned as Karina and Nero both began to chuckle. She sunk a little lower in the water, knowing she was missing something, and tilted her head as her confusion deepened.

“Not exactly,” Karina responded once her giggles abated. “We want to name him Kierin.”

“Oh,” Luna responded. It was a nice name, but she had not realized they had meant Kera’s name.

“Luna.” Nero caught her attention and she glanced up at him. “I know you do not wish to go by Kera any longer, and that is fine, little sister. We are not trying to make you feel bad and it is why we wish to check that it is alright with you first. You remain my little sister no matter what name you choose to go by and I will never love you any less for it. But Kera means something different to us than it does for you.”

She felt Karina’s hand cup her cheek and it drew her attention away. “All I know of your youth are the stories Nero has told me, but knowing you, Luna has been a pleasure. It makes me sad that you feel so disconnected from your younger self because based on those stories, I still see a lot of the girl described to me in you. To me, Kera represents a girl who survived something horrible and still found the strength and courage to regain her freedom and be who she decided she wanted to be. Kera did not die in your captivity, Luna,” Karina said with a shake of her head. “You grew into someone new, someone beautiful and special and brave. I want my son to know that. I want him to know that his namesake is a reminder that he can be anyone he wants to. That his identity and his future are wide open for him to grow into his best self too.”

Nero nodded and nudged Luna with his tail. “And I also want his aunt to remember that Kera and Luna are not separate and that she does not have to feel guilty for not remembering her past. You endured the unthinkable, Luna, but you are no less the girl you were and you will cross the gap you believe you have and come out the other side feeling more complete. Do not be ashamed of your past or afraid that anyone expects any particular roles from you. We just want you to be yourself and be happy.”

Luna felt the burning sting in her eyes at the same time her throat closed. She forced a watery smile and sniffled while nodding her head. “Thank you,” she whispered as she wiped her nose on the bridge of her hand.

“Would you like to hold him?” Nero offered as he nodded at the sleeping baby once more.

“May I?” Luna asked as she glanced between them. Karina nodded and so Luna turned to her brother. She was touched by their words, but she was even more eager to interact with their child.

Nero lifted the infant slowly out to her. “Just be gentle,” he cautioned. “Support his head in the crook of your elbow and hold him close to your chest, okay?”

Luna nodded and obeyed as he carefully transferred the baby into her arms.

“Mind his fins,” Karina advised.

Luna carefully adjusted her grip until the infant was cradled against her. Her fin stirred the water as she kept them both upright and stared down at him in awe. He was so squishy and delicate, and weighed so little that Luna was convinced if she shifted him the wrong way he would crumble like wet sand between her fingers.

Despite her concern at his fragility, she could not keep the gaping grin off her face. Most of her memories were dark and painful and peppered with a bit of happiness and love to shove away the fear. Love for and from Katie, Riley, Sophie, Lewis, her parents, her brother and Karina, and all the others who had shown her kindness and acceptance lately. But this tiny baby brought a warmth to her heart that – for an intoxicating moment – shoved away all the shadows in her heart and she began to purr loudly and uncontrollably.

Then the baby stirred in her grasp and whimpered softly. His face scrunched up and his lips parted into a wide, toothless yawn. As his eyes blinked sleepily open, Luna was met with the biggest, softest brown eyes she had ever seen. His shimmering eyes stared up at her, and then his lips split into a wide grin and he squealed softly while waving his tiny fists in the air and flailing his fins. Luna’s heart skipped a beat and she smiled back.

“He is smiling at me,” she reported when she glanced up at Nero and Karina.

Karina giggled softly, but Nero nodded at her. “You know, you smiled at me the first time I held you. Our mother told me that you were too young to truly smile, but I refused to believe it. I took it as a sign that I was going to be a good brother and that we would always be close. And we were best friends while we were growing up. I know it has been a long time, little sister, but we will always be close. I think you two will be very close too.”

Luna beamed brightly at her brother and then looked back down at the baby. Being an aunt had felt like another role she would not know how to fill, but now it felt like she could do it. She could be there for the baby and be a good friend. Her smile grew. “I hope we will be good friends. I will do what I can to help him as he grows,” she vowed. She gingerly smoothed back the baby’s fuzzy hair and then bowed her head to kiss his brow. “It took me a long time to find it again, but welcome to our family, Kierin.”