《Heart of a Mer》53. Breathe Deep

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Nero was warm and solid, and his heartbeat thumped steadily in Karina’s ears as she rested pressed up against him. The last few turns had been overwhelming and stressful, but it all melted away as he held her in his arms. Her purr was weak but constant as she cuddled up against him.

Nero had leaned himself against the wall of the tank, with his tail bunched up just enough to hold her sideways against him. He had one arm curled around her back and the other was tenderly rubbing her swollen belly. It felt nice and was a partial reason for her steady purr. Just his presence was soothing.

As she cuddled with him, enjoying the massaging touch of his hand on her stomach, Karina felt their unborn child stir within her. She winced as the baby kicked against her, but a wide smile flowed onto Nero’s lips and made her smile too. He had gotten to feel it that time. He had before – once or twice – but the baby had been very active the last few turns, and they had been separated most of that time. She was glad he was with her now to experience it.

She pressed a kiss to his lips and hummed. “Definitely your child,” she grumbled playfully. “Stubborn and rough. Though I imagine they shall have the same gentle heart as well.”

Nero’s head ducked and he pressed a kiss against her cheek, and then her ear. He grazed over her gills and down her neck and Karina hummed. “Most certainly like their mother,” he argued, his voice barely above a whisper. “Mischievous and energetic.”

Karina huffed. She puffed her cheeks and blew a few bubbles at him. “You are far more trouble than I,” she countered. Then she winced and hugged her belly once more as the infant began to stir within her once more. This time, it did not settle after a single kick and Karina whimpered. Nero’s arms held her tight and he whispered reassurances in her ear as she rode out the discomfort.

Nero rubbed her arm and began to purr as the baby finally began to settle down. Karina was quivering in her arms. “Are you alright?” he inquired.

She swallowed a heavy lump in her throat and nodded. “Yes,” she mumbled. She felt her face flush as she gazed out across the room and found multiple pairs of eyes on her. Everyone was looking.

Ixion had left the water to join Rebecca and Luna, and they were all staring at her with intense concern. The human woman – Sophie, she reminded herself – had stepped up to the tank with a question sparkling in her emerald gaze, and Katie was chewing her lip and politely averted her gaze when Karina met it.

“I am alright,” she insisted. She nodded at Sophie since the woman wouldn’t understand her. “It was just a little activity.”

“It will not be long now,” Rebecca muttered. “We need to get you out of there. I would not be surprised to find you in labour before the dawn of the next turn.”

Karina took a breath and chewed at her lip. She had no response. She had been elated to have a baby and Rebecca had coached her on all the different potential trials and complications of birth. The key was staying calm, and Karina had practiced and practiced at settling her heart rate and breathing evenly. But now she was in an unideal environment, with serious threats looming over her, and the risk that her baby might grow up a captive or be taken from her. All Karina wanted was to be a good mother and teach her child all about their origins and the pod that did not survive but would have loved them dearly. She was terrified now of bringing new life into a world as dark and dangerous as their current situation.

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“I am afraid,” she admitted to Nero. “I do not know if I can do this. I do not want our baby to be born like this.”

Nero rested his chin on her head, lightly squishing her head fin down as he did. She did not mind, however. He had resumed rubbing her belly as well as her back. “Karina…” he murmured. “I promised you that I hold you close and keep you safe as long as I was able. You were afraid to leave the reef and travel the open ocean even after…” he trailed off and Karina’s heart sunk. She did not imagine that pain would ever fade.

“I remember,” she agreed. And she did. He had been so patient with her, so calm and reassuring and understanding the entire trip. She had never been more grateful for him than in those moons of travel.

“That has not changed,” he assured her. “I am here.”

Karina’s heart fluttered in her chest and she closed her eyes. She did not know what it was like for other mated pairs, and she pitied those who did not feel the same, but Nero was her heart and soul. She felt safest, happiest, and strongest when she was with him. Just making eye contact or brushing up against him could ease any negativity she was experiencing.

Even before she had met him, she had felt alone. She was quirky and outgoing, and yet timid at the same time. She felt outcasted among her peers and uncertain of her place in life. Meeting Nero had changed everything. He made her feel special and desirable, and she finally felt like she had someone who understood her so completely that she did not even have to speak sometimes. He just knew, and she felt she understood him too. Words were no longer necessary between them, and she was certain she only encouraged him to speak because she enjoyed the sound of his voice.

She took a breath and then slumped against him. She hated that she felt weak, but at least she had him for comfort. “I need to be braver,” she whispered. She felt him tangle his hands in her hair and begin massaging her scalp. It was incredibly pleasant and she could not help the purr of satisfaction that rumbled in her chest in response.

“You are brave, Karina,” Nero argued. “You have been so strong.”

“No,” Karina sighed. “I have been terrified and helpless, and everyone else has had to defend me. I do not wish to be so meek. But I do want you to be less hostile. I hate seeing them hurt you.” She trailed her fingers down his tail where he had been slashed a few turns ago. It had mostly scabbed over but still looked warped and angry along his side. She hated it and hated that he had gotten the injury while protecting her.

“I am alright,” he assured her. “And no one has any qualms about defending you; you are with child.”

“I do not like it all the same. Please, Nero, do not give them another reason to harm you. Perhaps if you settle and I comply a little more instead of cringing in terror, they will allow you to remain with me. I agree with Rebecca that we will have to break this fragile peace, but in the meantime, I need you,” she stressed. “I cannot do this alone; not without my partner.”

Nero was silent, but Karina kept her attention fixed on his brooding gaze. She refused to cave on this, no matter how little Nero was going to like it.

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Finally, he sighed and nodded before drawing her close once more. He shifted onto his side and tightened his grip so that her grip was nestled against the groove of his torso. She hummed as he kissed her temple, just above her ear. “I will allow them near you,” he decided finally. “So long as they do not seek to cause you harm. I will not sit idly while my mate and baby are at risk.”

“I would not ask you to,” Karina agreed. “Thank you.”

She rolled over and wrapped her arms under his to snuggle as close as possible. She loved the sensation of his heart drumming against her cheek, and she sighed with content. She was so tired all the time now that her pregnancy was peaking, but slumber was fitful without him. Now that they were reunited, she found herself relaxing back into a restful state. It did not help when Nero continued to play with her hair and began to hum in the back of his throat. It was peaceful and she began to drift off.

She was not quite comfortable enough to sleep soundly – merely rest a little – so she could still hear as conversation began to pick up outside the confines of the tank.

She was aware everyone was settling into the meal that had been delivered, and she was hungry too, just not enough to bother moving just yet. Nero was too comfortable a resting perch to leave his embrace for something so silly.

“You and Luna should go for a swim.” Rebecca’s voice floated up from out in the room. “You have been away from it too long now and it will do you good to stop drinking the water better meant for your mother and rehydrate as Mer do.”

“It’s probably a good time to test your gills out again,” Sophie added. English still sounded strange in Karina’s ears and she did not like how it felt on her tongue when she tried to speak it, but she understood why they were using it so Sophie could follow the conversation.

“I guess so,” Katie agreed. “I was just reluctant to swim while I still have to wear this. A shirt’s not exactly streamlined.”

“I doubt it will hinder you very much in a stagnant pool,” Rebecca replied.

“Yeah, but it’s still not comfortable,” Katie sighed. “I guess I’ll just be happy when my scales all grow back in. I used to really miss clothing, and they don’t bother me now, but I guess I now miss having the option to go without.”

“You got used to being a Mer,” Sophie stated.

“Yeah, I guess so,” Katie agreed.

“I’m sure you’ll have a full tail of them again soon. You already look so much better, kiddo. You didn’t see what it looked like towards the peak of your illness. It was really, really bad. You’re looking so much better now.”

“Are you captive-raised then?” the guard inquired. Karina flinched at the sound of his voice. She had forgotten he was in the room.

“Excuse me?” Katie’s voice became slightly pinched.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I couldn’t help overhearing. You were saying something about adjusting to being a mermaid; I assume you meant integrating into a social group. Are you the one Lemuria had longer?”

“No,” Katie replied bitterly.

“I am,” Luna whimpered.

Karina sat up so she could observe the situation. Luna had hunched in on herself. Ixion had pulled himself out of the water and over to Rebecca’s side. His tail was curled over hers, and he reached out to encourage Luna close, where he and Rebecca could both hug her.

Katie snorted bitterly and shook her head. “And I was the one that they made.”

“Made?” the guard echoed. His brows creased together and he frowned.

“Yup. I had a life before Lemuria; a human life. I’m an Australian citizen. Or rather, I was until Lemuria abducted me, faked my death, and performed an illegal genetic experiment to mutate my DNA into that of a Mer last year.”

“Excuse me?”

Katie shrugged at the man’s horrified exclamation. “Well, what did you think was going on?”

The guard shrugged. “They don’t tell volunteers much. I knew that they’d had one of their two original mermaids a lot longer and simply did their best to keep her enriched while alone. They only felt comfortable moving her into a public tank when they found the second because companionship would keep stress levels down. I also know they were stolen a few months ago, and that we’re here because they recovered all of you from a hoarding situation. A wealthy collector keeping intelligent animals in abysmal conditions. We’re based here to administer base medical needs and allow for you,” he paused to gesture at Karina. “To safely give birth before we transport you all back to America where they’re already making adjustments to accommodate an entire pod.”

Sophie shook her head. “I think the only truthful thing about that statement is that they’re waiting for Karina to give birth. I’m the owner of this facility and I’m being held in this room against my will. Katie is my daughter. Luna was certainly not enriched during her time at Lemuria, she was abused, and the rest of these Mer are her family, all wild-caught courtesy of Lemuria.”

“That’s pretty terrible. I’m sorry,” the guard offered. “I had been wondering about that particular fashion statement.”

Karina frowned at the odd comment. She did not understand the context until Sophie paled and her hand raised to the collar around her neck. Karina winced and could not help fiddling with the one around hers. She hated it, but she had not figured out how to get it off.

She met Nero’s gaze when she felt his attention trained on her, and she shrugged and dropped her hand. He nodded his understanding and flicked his tail so his fin would ghost over her scales. She hated the look of the red material encircling his throat too. It was a terrible visual representation of their captivity.

Her hand went to her belly when she imagined they would wrap one around the infant’s neck as well.

She closed her eyes and her mane lowered against her head as she bit back a whine. Nero hummed and she felt his hand press flat against the back of her head. She let him guide her head forward until their noses met. He pressed a kiss to hers and then resumed leaning his face against hers. She did not require words to hear his message.

“I love you,” she whispered.

Nero rumbled in response and pulled her closer. “You need to breathe,” he reminded her. “Your stress is becoming rancid; it is not good for you or the baby.” He paused and kissed her forehead, and began rubbing her back.

“I know,” Karina agreed. She took a breath. “I am trying, I just ah-” she broke off as another sharp jab flared from her middle. She pressed a splayed hand to her belly and winced. Her teeth gritted together and her gills flared as their unborn child writhed within her. The more active they grew, the more it hurt until Karina was doubled over on herself and panting.

Nero had a hand on her chest to keep her from collapsing while his other hand rubbed her back. “Just breathe, Karina,” he encouraged. “Try to calm down.”

“It hurts,” Karina gasped. She was stating the obvious, but it was all she could manage to express herself at the moment.

“Katie, take Luna to the water, okay?” Rebecca requested.

There was a slight hesitation in Katie’s voice as she replied. “O-okay,” she agreed. Out of the corner of her eye, Karina saw her nudge Luna with her tail. She made eye contact with Luna briefly and the younger Mer’s normally vibrant gaze was now clouded with worry. “Come on, Luna,” Katie encouraged. “It’s best we stay out of the way for now.”

Luna tore her gaze away then and nodded. “Okay,” she agreed.

Karina felt a small smile twitch across her face despite her gritted teeth. She found both girls to be incredibly sweet, though she wondered if part of the appeal was due to her looming motherhood. The smile did not linger as another cramping wave seized her body and snatched a whimper from her lips.

“Nero, bring Karina to the surface,” Rebecca instructed firmly. “Sophie, would you mind helping me up?”

“Of course,” Sophie agreed.

Karina bowed her head and thrashed her tail as her infant squirmed again within her gut. This was not like the occasional turning or kicking she had sometimes felt as the pregnancy progressed. That was almost pleasant, in an uncomfortable sort of way, but this was agonizing.

She felt Nero’s one arm curl around her shoulders and the other began to slide under her tail, and she shook her head as he began to shift her and caused more pain to shoot up her body. “Stop,” she begged. “Please, just leave me here; it hurts to move.”

Nero pressed his nose against her cheek. “I will be gentle,” he assured her. “Hug me.”

Karina took another wheezing breath and shakily wrapped her arms around Nero’s neck. He moved incredibly slowly as he lifted her from the bottom of the tank and drew her to his chest. Karina pressed her ear to his chest and listened to the rhythmic thudding of his heart as she tried to relax and focus on breathing through the pain.

Nero behaved just as gently as he rose in the water, though Karina still ground her teeth against the sharp nips of pain that flared with every slight jostle of her body.

When her head broke the surface, Karina coughed weakly and spat out water. Her gills flapped at the sides of her neck and took longer than she cared for to finally settle against her flesh so she could fill her lungs.

Rebecca was there, carefully perched on her tail to be as close as possible. There was not enough space for three of them in the tank. She reached out slowly, and Karina tensed as Rebecca placed her palm flat on her swollen belly. “Describe it, Karina,” Rebecca requested. She pressed into Karina’s gut and Karina whimpered.

“I do not…know how to explain it. It just hurts. The baby…will not settle. Is it supposed to feel as though they are trying to claw their way out of me?”

Rebecca pursed her lips and shook her head. “No,” she replied. “Take a breath and hold it, okay?” Karina barely had time to comply before Rebecca placed both hands on either side of her belly. Karina ground her teeth against one another as the baby thrashed again. She hissed and jerked in Nero’s arms, and his grip on her tightened to keep her cradled against him.

“Is there anything we can do?” Sophie inquired.

“Should I send for a vet?” the guard asked immediately afterwards.

“Absolutely not,” Rebecca growled in English. “Lemuria is the problem.” She returned her attention to Karina and the familiar click returned to her voice. “Karina, your baby is beginning to respond to your emotions. You are frightened and so your baby is perceiving its space as unsafe. Breathe. Deeply and evenly, and try to sleep. Otherwise, you are going to hurt yourself and the baby.”

“I am trying,” Karina whimpered. “I cannot help but worry. I am afraid for us all.”

Rebecca hummed in response. “I know,” she agreed. “But you need to allow us to worry about everything else; the only thing I want you focusing on is your child.”

“But-”

Rebecca shook her head. “No, Karina, I meant it now. Your task is difficult enough without adding more layers. That infant is the only thing that matters and right now, it needs you to calm yourself, so what is that going to take?”

Karina swallowed the lump in her throat and looked away. Her hand went to her belly and rubbed. That had always soothed the infant before if it stirred, but she knew Rebecca was right and that she was too stressed for either of them to settle, so she was not surprised when another agonizing kick came from within her gut that had her huffing and doubling over. “I just want to go back,” she sobbed finally as she felt the sting of tears welling in her eyes. “I do not want to do this; not like this, not here. I am scared they will take them from me.”

Nero began to growl and the deep rumbling vibrated through Karina’s body. He tightened his grip on her and his head bowed so he could nuzzle her cheek with his nose. “They will not,” he stated gruffly. “We would never allow that to happen. Never. They would regret so much as trying.”

Karina pressed her forehead against her mate’s and sighed. Her gaze drifted to the scabbed over wound down his tail. She knew he would fight for her; he was always so quick to do so without complaint, but she hated when he put himself at risk. “I do not want anyone else to get hurt because of me.”

“We are going to fight either way, Karina,” Rebecca reminded. “You will not lose your child to these people. There will be no more lives ruined. You do not have a choice on where you will give birth, but you and Nero will choose where and how you will raise them. You are ready for this, Karina. It is time to breathe and rest, and prepare. It will not be long now and you will need your strength.”

“I do not feel ready,” Karina admitted.

Rebecca hummed and nodded. “That is natural, but I promise that you are. You can do this, and you will have help. We are here for you.”

Karina nodded and forced herself to take a deep breath. “Okay,” she agreed. She hummed in the back of her throat, hoping that the reverberations would reach and soothe the infant Mer. She winced as the baby thrashed once more before finally beginning to fall still.

Karina sighed with relief and slumped against Nero. He was already bearing most of her weight, but he did not complain as she leaned into him. Instead, he rested his jaw on her head and rubbed her back. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too.” Her eyes slid shut and she took a few deep breaths. She always felt calmest and happiest with Nero and so long as he was willing to hold her, she was going to try to heed their advice and get some rest.

Nero leaned back in the water and shifted his hands to hug her to him. Karina wiggled and tucked one arm beneath her to help take some weight off her belly. His actions had lifted her above the surface with only her tail trailing through the water. His occasionally bumped her as he kept them drifting on the surface. It was surprisingly comfortable and Karina yawned widely before settling down against Nero. She could feel exhaustion beginning to take her.

She cracked one eye open and tensed as she heard the doors creak open. It never yielded anything good and her heart sank. She just wanted to rest and spend a little more time with Nero.

Thankfully, it was just the woman from before, returning with Riley. Though Karina had only recently met the stubborn young woman, she liked her quite a bit. Nero’s cousin was trouble, but she also seemed to have a big heart and the confidence to back her bravado. Karina admired her. Riley was currently perched on the cot with a smug grin on her face. Her tail fins flicked and she was drumming her fingers on the surface repeatedly.

As they entered, the guard rose to his feet and shifted his seat out of the way. “How did it go? Where’s the man who accompanied you?”

“Back in the other room,” the woman responded. “He wanted to get a closer look at some of the x-rays just to double-check. He set the original break and participated in the correctional surgery, so he knows more than I do.”

Karina felt a frown tug at her lips. She knew the two humans had to get away as quickly as possible, but while she had not known him long and all of them still made her nervous in varying amounts, she was a little saddened to know that he was not coming back. He had been kind and gentle and understanding and protected her as best he could. Of all the human beings she had needed to interact with, she liked him best of all. She hoped he would be able to escape safely.

The guard did not seem pleased about the news either. “We’re not supposed to leave either of them on their own…no offence,” he added hastily as he nodded in Sophie’s direction. She shrugged in response.

“I know,” the guard’s companion agreed. “But he’s got too much of a stake in this to do anything stupid. I would have stayed, but this one wouldn’t stop fussing and complaining about being dehydrated and needing the water.” The woman made an annoyed gesture in Riley’s direction. “I figured it would be more prudent to bring her back and then return to check on him. It’s only been a few minutes.”

“Was anything said about her physical state?” Sophie inquired.

The woman nodded and leaned forward to begin ripping open the strange white wrapping that was secured around Riley’s waist and tail. “Carmen should be fine so long as she keeps her movements simple and to a minimum. No excessive straining though, or she’ll likely displace something and need surgery again.”

Sophie nodded and stepped forward with her arms open. Riley grinned brightly and sprang into her arms. Sophie squeezed her close and moved away. As she passed the tank, Karina caught the start of their whispered conversation.

“Thank you,” Sophie whispered. Riley hummed in response. Karina grinned. She was not surprised Riley had caused a ruckus to distract that woman into leaving Lewis alone. She would likely find that room empty when she returned to it.

“You should go,” Riley murmured back. “There are very few of them here right now. No one properly in command. It is the best time.”

As Riley spoke, Sophie stiffened, and Karina could taste the sorrow spilling from her body. It made her heart clench to see. Her hand moved to her belly as she watched them. She could not imagine being forced to leave her child alone. They were not even born yet and Karina felt incredible love and attachment to the baby. She already dreaded that someone might try to rip them from her arms. Though she did not yet know her very well, Karina pitied Sophie’s position. She had to leave her daughter and others she cared about behind. It probably felt like saving herself but was to preserve the number of people who knew the truth and could get help. They needed her and Lewis out of the way, but it had to be incredibly painful to be so helpless to protect her loved ones. Karina herself was familiar with that pain.

She found herself desperately hoping that Sophie would not only get away but that she could reunite with her daughter again soon in a way Karina herself would never experience.

The sorrow struck her like a blow to her middle, but Nero’s warm arms instantly tightened around her and he began to rub her back. He always seemed to know when her thoughts drifted there. When he began to purr, she rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes as she listened to the steady beat of his heart. She took a breath. He was right. Sophie’s situation was terrible, and she hoped for the best for her – and them all – but right now she needed to protect the well-being of her unborn child by remaining as calm as possible.

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