The sun was high in the sky and scorching, but Sophie found the heat pleasant as she lay sprawled on a lounge chair on the deck. She had spread a towel out underneath her and her face was shaded by the deck awning, leaving the rest of her body to enjoy the heat. She was wearing a teal bikini top with thick straps that tied behind her neck and a pair of black nylon shorts.

Lewis was still at the park – though she didn’t imagine he would be gone too much longer – Luna was currently swimming around the cove. Occasionally Sophie saw her breach, but she knew the girl wouldn’t leave the lagoon, so she wasn’t concerned if a few minutes went by. Judging by the small line of smooth rocks, small shells, and bits of sea glass that were lining the edge of the deck, Luna was content exploring the still-new environment.

Sophie propped herself up on her elbows in order to glance back at the open back doorway, her head cocked to listen. Katie was inside lying down on the couch, and Sophie was staying away to allow her to try getting some rest, but every few minutes she just wanted to listen to see if she could hear the girl coughing again. It was silent, however, so after a moment Sophie settled back into the chair and relaxed once more.

It had been a few days since Riley had left, and Katie had continued to deteriorate since then. Her cough was worse and more frequent, she’d stopped sleeping entirely, and was now suffering from migraines. Sophie couldn’t help but pity her.

Lewis had been monitoring her as best he could, but they frankly didn’t know enough about the Mer as a species to identify what sort of disease Katie might have contracted. He was trying to treat her like she had a case of the flu or a bad cold, but it was doing little to help so far.

Sophie glanced back towards the water and saw Luna leaned against the deck. She’d raised her arms to cross them flat over the wooden planks and rest her chin atop them. Her gaze was directed at the open door and her eyes sparkled with unspoken emotion. Sophie watched her chew on her lip and pull herself partway out of the water. Luna’s gaze slid to hers and the young girl startled as though she had not expected Sophie to be looking at her in return.

Sophie frowned and shook her head. Luna sighed audibly and threw her weight backwards into a dive and disappeared back beneath the water. Sophie felt guilt grip her gut with frigid talons as she watched the preteen’s quiet temper flare. Luna tended to be very sweet natured, and she had never once been aggressive or problematic even when Sophie was firm about things, but this was really testing the poor girl.

Sophie had been insisting about keeping the two Mer apart. Until they knew more about what Katie had contracted, she didn’t want to risk Luna catching it too. The younger girl had been improving dramatically in developing some independence, but she still preferred to be closer to Katie. Sophie hated to keep them apart when they found so much comfort in one another, but she couldn’t risk Katie’s bug spreading.

Luna had been a little huffy about it, and had alternated between avoiding everyone else in favor of being by herself, or seeking out immense amounts of attention and affection from Lewis and herself. Sophie was fine to leave her to whichever mood she was in, out of acknowledgement that the situation wasn’t easy.

She watched the bay a little longer, but Luna didn’t resurface. Sophie chewed her lip; she didn’t like the idea of Luna brooding too long on her thoughts but also knew the girl needed space. If she didn’t resurface again in a little bit, she would go over and check on her.

She had barely laid back down before another sound caught her attention. She propped back up and turned to examine the source of the scrapping rumble. Katie was dragging herself out the door with her head bowed, hair falling free of the loose ponytail it had been tied in previously. Her arms were shaking and she looked two shades paler then when Sophie had last left her.

Sophie moved to get up, but Katie had already closed most of the distance. She flopped her arms on the side of the lounge chair and buried her head in the crook of the limbs.

“Katie?” Sophie prompted. Though she kept her voice incredibly soft, Katie still visibly flinched. “Honey, you need to go back inside and get some rest.”

Katie shook her head. “Don’t want to be alone,” she whimpered.

Sophie’s heart sank at her daughter’s broken tone. When she was little, Katie hated being left alone while she was sick, but as she got older she began to grow a bit more independent. She preferred to brush colds off with a bit of medication, or retreat to solitude in her room if it was strong enough to kick her down. It broke her heart to know that her daughter was sick enough to be reverting to childhood tendencies.

She reached out and placed a hand carefully on Katie’s head, gently drawing her fingers open and closed to massage at her skull through her hair. Katie hummed, but the sound strangled into a whimper. “Did you take anything for the pain?”

“Didn’t help,” Katie murmured.

When Sophie moved her hand down to rub between Katie’s shoulders, she could feel the heat rolling off her skin. Frowning, Sophie propped herself up a bit more and pressed the back of her hand against Katie’s forehead. “Katie, you’re running a temperature. I’m sorry, but you need to go back inside and lie down.”

“No,” Katie refused with another shake of her head.

Sophie sighed. “Alright, come here,” she decided. She leaned down to heft Katie’s tail up onto the lounge chair with her. She pulled Katie into her arms – just like she used to when Katie was much smaller – and the girl instantly cuddled against her and pressed her face against Sophie’s shoulder.

Sophie hugged her and continued to pet her hair. She was concerned about the temperature of Katie’s body and the fact that the girl was shaking. She suspected that the girl was developing a fever. “Will you come inside if I come sit with you?” she inquired. It wasn’t like Katie to be pointlessly noncompliant like this and she suspected it was due to a fever state, but she didn’t like the idea of Katie being out in the summer heat like this.

Instead of responding, Katie merely curled into a tighter ball against Sophie. She sighed and sat up, earning a muttered groan from the teen. Scooping her daughter properly into her arms – bridal style – Sophie stood up and nodded at Luna, who was perched on the edge of the deck, watching. “You come inside too, okay?” she requested. She was comfortable with the safety and privacy of the new home, but it was still new and she couldn’t help preferring to know that the younger girl was alright as well. It was just easier to have them both in the house. Luna dipped her head in acknowledgement but didn’t vocalize her agreement.

Sophie made her way into the house and took Katie to her room. It was still only partially set up, since Sophie was more concerned with letting Katie rest than she was about trying to unpack and set up the bedroom. She knelt in order to lay Katie out on the bed. Katie whimpered and her fingers curled around Sophie’s wrist. “Stay.”

Sophie bent over and kissed Katie’s burning temple. There was a water bottle sitting on the nightstand in Katie’s room – just about the only piece of furniture properly set up at the moment – and Sophie grabbed it and set it next to her daughter. “It’s okay,” she soothed. “I’m not going far. I just want to run a cold bath for you so we can try to break the fever.”

“No,” Katie moaned and her grip on Sophie’s wrist tightened. Sophie frowned. The behavior was quite unlike Katie. The girl used to have her fair share of accidents – though hers were far less life threatening, she could even rival Riley – and was fairly adjusted to medical procedure and taking care of herself in order to recover. Now that she was behaving poorly about it, Sophie was growing even more concerned.

She gently peeled Katie’s fingers off her wrist and stroked her knuckles. “Katie, we need to get your temperature down. I want you to drink some water while I’m gone and I will be back in a few minutes, okay?”

She heard Katie whimper as she rose and left the room, but she didn’t turn back to acknowledge the noise. It broke her heart to see her daughter in such a state, and it terrified her not to know what was wrong. Lewis was brilliant, but he could only do so much, and she no longer had the luxury of taking Katie to a doctor.

Sophie tried not to stress too much about the situation as she crouched down and dropped the plug into the bath. The tub was larger than the one back at the apartment – thankfully – so it would make it so much easier for Katie to fit comfortably. Sophie twisted the faucets and began to run water into the basin. She stuck her fingers beneath the stream to test the temperature. She needed to bring Katie’s temperature down, but if it was too cold right away, it might send her into shock.

Once she was satisfied with the temperature of the ankle-deep layer of water in the tub, Sophie turned to return to the bedroom and instead found Katie in the hall, halfway to the bathroom. She had stopped crawling forward and was cradling her bowed head in the palm of one hand while the other kept her propped up.

Sophie scooted backwards in order to reach the girl and wrap her arms around her. “You were supposed to stay in bed and wait for me,” she scolded gently as she rubbed Katie’s back and held her tightly. Katie’s body was quaking and she was no longer holding herself up, instead slumping bodily against Sophie.

“Sorry,” Katie whimpered.

“It’s okay,” Sophie assured her. She carefully rose back to her feet, pulling her daughter up with her. “Let’s get this taken care of.” She closed the distance between them and the waiting bathtub in a few steps, and then set Katie down tail first into the water.

“Cold,” Katie complained with a shiver. Her fin curled beneath her as she tried to coil into a ball.

Sophie frowned and reached down to gently pull the limb back out; she wanted Katie stretched out and her tail as submerged as possible, not coiled into a ball. The water was barely below room temperature. “I’m sorry, Kate, but we have to bring your temperature down. Roll onto your belly for me, please.”

She found herself holding her breath as she made the request. Katie was not behaving like herself and Sophie suspected the fever and lack of proper sleep to be at fault, but she hoped that some rationality was still prevalent, otherwise the next few steps would be difficult.

Despite her hopes, it was clear the fever haze was triumphing over Katie because she seemed set purely on base desire alone and started trying to haul herself out of the tub. “No, too cold. Let me out,” she demanded. Her arms were shaking as she tried to pull herself over the lip of the tub and Sophie became instantly concerned that the girl would slip and hurt herself.

“Katie, no!” she scolded firmly as she pushed her daughter back into the water. A low growl rumbled in Katie’s chest in response, only to break off as she regressed into a violent coughing fit.

Sophie wrapped an arm around the girl as she coughed, rubbing her back and trying to help soothe her. But Katie was still shaking and squirming even as she choked. Her fin flared up as she lashed her tail while trying to twist and pull herself back out of the water. The motion sprayed the lukewarm water everywhere and Sophie had to jerk back to avoid being smacked in the face. Katie hissed again between coughs and – although her head was bowed – Sophie could see the red staining around her lips. She was going to overwork her body at this rate.

Ignoring the risk of grappling with the girl, Sophie stepped over the rim of the tub and knelt to carefully press her knees down on Katie’s spine so her weight would hold the girl down. She snaked a hand around to press against Katie’s chest while her other hand gently patted her between the shoulder blades. “Deep breath,” she encouraged. “Settle down, you’re alright.”

After a few minutes of squatting like that, Katie’s coughing gradually began to ease off, so Sophie stopped rubbing and instead reached for the shower nozzle. It was on a hose, so she was able to pull it down and turn the water on to start hosing Katie down with it. She set the temperature to slightly cooler than what the water they were in now was at, and Katie began to thrash and whine beneath the stream.

Sophie grunted and was forced to press a hand on Katie’s back to force the girl down flat in the tub. Thankfully the girl had gills, so she didn’t have to worry about the water level getting high enough to cause her any problems, though she did keep an eye on Katie’s neck just in case her illness gave her any issues with breathing through them.

She reached her one arm back to lower the temperature further before replacing it between Katie’s shoulder blades as the thrashing teen nearly bucked her off. She was screeching at this point, tossing her head and gnashing her teeth in a way that caused Sophie’s heart to constrict. Katie had only ever had a fever this bad once, and it had ended with her being rushed to an emergency room – which was no longer an option.

“I know, I know, it’s okay,” Sophie murmured, trying to calm the girl. She winced as Katie’s tail bucked beneath her and she felt the scales cut into the flesh of her thighs. Gritting her teeth, Sophie ignored the sharp prickles of pain as the scales ripped at her and instead tightened her leg muscles for a better grip to hold her daughter in place. She had never imagined she would ever be forced to hold Katie down like this and it was not a feeling she cared to endure.

Strengthening her resolve, Sophie continued to gradually reduce the water temperature until it was chilly and Katie began to shiver. She was fighting less, but Sophie wasn’t sure if that was because she was growing weaker or because the water was working and the fever was starting to break.

Regardless, Sophie was panting and shaking, both from exhaustion and the chill that was spreading through her legs now submerged in the cold water too. At least she could ease off a little bit; she didn’t want to keep her weight on Katie any longer than necessary in case she started to cough again.

Once Katie slumped completely down into the water, Sophie turned the shower off and simply rubbed her daughter’s back, keeping an eye on the gill slits that had pulled free from her neck and gaped wide, revealing the soft pink tissue underneath. They seemed to be working fine, but Sophie didn’t like how pale the insides looked and made a note to get Lewis to examine them further. He knew more than she did about gill-function after all.

“How are you doing, Kate?” Sophie finally asked now that Katie had fallen silent for a while. “Can you sit up for me?”

She shifted off Katie to sit on the side of the tub and was relieved when Katie slowly pushed herself up and rolled back over onto her backside. All traces of her earlier fit had died away and left a pale, shaky girl in its place. She leaned her head back against the tile of the bathroom wall and wrapped her arms around her scaled chest. “It’s so cold,” Katie whispered.

Sophie clucked her tongue softly and brushed a sopping strand of hair off Katie’s face. The girl looked like a pasty ghost and it broke Sophie’s heart. “I know, hon. I need you to sit here just a little bit longer, okay? We’ve got to get your temperature down,” she instructed. She took Katie’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “I really mean it, Katie; stay here this time. I’m going to go get you some medication and then you can go lie back down. I’ll be right back.”

Katie’s throat jerked as she swallowed heavily and nodded. She was still slumped against the back of the tub and her eyes were squeezed shut.

“Hang in there, Kiddo,” Sophie murmured as she squeezed Katie’s shoulder before standing and making her way out of the bathroom. She made her way into the kitchen and began rummaging in the cupboard she’d dedicated to holding medications, beginning to sift through the bottles. She wanted something to help keep the fever at bay but would also help Katie sleep because the girl was in desperate need of some proper rest, but she also had to be careful because she didn’t want to overload Katie’s system. Food was one thing, but these medications were designed and dosed for humans and she was no longer certain Katie classified enough for all the different over-the-counter medications to be safe anymore.

She was just about to pull back – having found some night time cold medication that should be mild enough to try – when someone reached around and clapped a hand tightly over her mouth.

Sophie’s heart lurched in her chest and her cry of surprise was heavily muffled as she squirmed in the intruder’s grip. Lewis wouldn’t make a joke like that and Sophie felt adrenaline pour through her veins to match the fear rampaging through her nerves.

She tried to jerk and twist her head away, but her assailant’s grip was firm, and she couldn’t manage to maneuver properly. She froze as she felt nails scraping lightly over her neck. Whoever it was lifted the chain Sophie’s locket hung around and pulled it taut. It wasn’t being used to strangle her, however, and after a moment or two of fumbling, the chain fell slack and was pulled away from her throat. That caused the arm holding her to loosen its grip slightly and Sophie took advantage of it by pulling forward and twisting around, her mouth opening to scold or scream depending on what was necessary.

Standing in front of her, almost completely focused on the necklace, was a tall, broad-shouldered woman with earthy skin and thick dark tresses. She was dressed in a pair of black tights and a black undershirt that left most of her shoulders exposed. Her arms were corded and strong, and Sophie wasn’t surprised her assailant had held her so effortlessly. She certainly didn’t know the woman, who was no longer looking at her, but had one hand raised with just her index finger and seemed to be indicating for a moment of silence.

Sophie had no intention of complying with that, turning to grab the cellphone she’d left on the dining room table. As she moved, her gaze slid to Luna – who really did give her pause – the girl was sprawled on the couch with a finger to her lips and though her head was cocked slightly with confusion, she didn’t seem the least bit concerned that the strange woman was there.

That alone made Sophie stand rooted where she was and watch the stranger. If Luna – who was cautious of everyone – wasn’t stressed out or defensive, there was something more going on.

The woman had popped the locket open and was using a narrow switchblade to pry out first the photo, and then the backing. Sophie’s heart clenched and she wanted to protest the destruction of the necklace, but her voice lodged in her throat at the joint silencing motions they had both made.

Katie hadn’t been thrilled at seeing the necklace when they’d initially been reunited and tried to get Sophie to toss it, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She understood Katie’s distaste – and wasn’t thrilled that the gift had been used as a manipulation tactic against her daughter – but at the time it had been a final connection to the daughter she’d believed was deceased. There was too much sentimental attachment to it now, as it had been a source of emotional comfort over the months of grief. She explained that to Katie and reminded her that regardless of who bought the locket, the idea and the card had come from her alone and that was what meant so much. The teen had reluctantly agreed, but Sophie still mostly wore it under her shirt to prevent sour memories from glaring her daughter in the face.

When the back popped off and fell to the floor, Sophie chewed her lip and watched the woman twist to pry the two sides apart. The little hinge snapped under the pressure and the entire locket fell apart in her hand.

The woman reached into the wreckage and pulled out a thin twist of three wires with a small black nub on the end. Sophie felt her eyes widen as the stranger rolled the nub between her fingers and then crushed it with a sharp snapping sound.

Then she sighed and dumped the wires and the ruined remains of the necklace into a plastic bag which she tossed into the trash. “I’m sorry if I startled you, but we couldn’t talk while that was active.”

“What was that?”

“A bug,” the woman sighed. “Tracker, microphone, the works.”

Sophie’s heart skipped a beat and she felt her stomach lurch. “So that means…”

“They know,” the stranger confirmed. “Everything, basically from the moment you put it on. The move was a good idea, but I’m afraid it will have been entirely ineffective.”

Sophie shook her head, her knees feeling like gelatin as she wobbled over to a chair and sunk into it. She glanced over at Luna, who now wore a horrified expression. She was staring at Sophie desperately whilst picking at the couch. Forcing herself back upright, Sophie made her way over to the couch and sat back down, pulling Luna into her lap for a cuddle as she did.

The woman followed her over and plopped a hand down on Luna’s head. “It’s good to see you again. You’re looking a lot healthier now.” She then turned to Sophie and held out a hand. “I never introduced myself – my name is Lukshia.”

“She helped bring us here,” Luna added, her voice barely above a whisper. “Sophie, are we going to be okay?”

Sophie tightened her grip around the preteen and kissed the crown of her head. She didn’t have an answer for Luna, so all she could do was attempt to reassure her through physical affection.

Luna’s reaction was to grip her tightly and bury her face in Sophie’s shoulder. Her breath was warm against Sophie’s skin, and she cradled the young Mer closer in response. “It’ll be okay, Luna,” Sophie attempted to console her. There was no response from the child and Sophie winced. Luna clearly needed comfort and the last thing she wanted to do was deny her, but she still needed to take that medication to Katie; she didn’t like leaving the feverish girl alone this long. “Luna, hon, I need to go get Katie. I’ll be right back, okay?”

“I can get her,” the woman – Lukshia – offered. “You’ve got your hands full; where is she?”

Sophie hesitated. She didn’t fully trust this woman – she didn’t know her well enough – but Luna seemed comfortable around her and she had just saved them from further disaster. “She’s in the bathroom; she’s sick and we were trying to break the fever. It’s just down the hall.”

Lukshia was silent for a moment, then curtly nodded and walked off down the hall. Sophie held her breath for a moment, her heart thudding in her chest. She was normally very accepting and willing to trust, but everything that had happened in the last month had forced her to reevaluate that mentality and she found herself bracing for any sort of warning indicator from her daughter.

Thankfully, the concern wasn’t necessary as Lukshia appeared a few minutes later with Katie in her arms. Her daughter was limp, her breathing ragged and she’d paled even more. Her head was flopped against Lukshia and while she looked a little confused, she showed no trace of panic or distrust.

“What’s going on?” Katie slurred as Lukshia lowered her down onto the couch beside them. Immediately, Katie slumped and

Sophie stretched an arm out to pull her daughter into a sideways embrace.

Katie was shaking heavily, so Sophie contorted around her to grab the small, knit throw blanket draped over the couch. She tugged it free and then pulled it around Katie’s shivering form. “We need to get some medicine into you,” she decided. Katie didn’t respond, just coughed weakly and curled up into a tighter ball beneath the blanket.

Lukshia had grabbed the bottle of pills Sophie had left on the counter before their unorthodox introduction and offered it out along with a glass of water. Sophie frowned – having not heard her even leave or the tap start to run – but she accepted both with a grateful nod of her head. Lukshia was quiet, which normally wouldn’t bother Sophie, but the woman was intimidating and she wasn’t sure how to feel about the silence.

She had other priorities, however, and twisted the top off the bottle and shook two of the tablets out into her palm. “Here,” she urged as she held her palm up and offered the glass out.

When Katie got them both down and drained the glass, Sophie held an arm out to let her get comfortable. Luna was already dominating her lap, but Katie still chose to squeeze closer and lean against her as well.

“What’s going on with this?” Lukshia asked as she dragged a chair over to sit backwards on it and lean her arms over the top of the chair back. She nodded at Katie.

“I don’t know,” Sophie admitted with a heavy sigh. “The fever is new today, but she’s had migraines and been coughing up bloody phlegm for the past few days. Lewis is baffled and I know very little about medicine. I’m worried,” she admitted. “I want to take her to the hospital, but there’s some obvious reasons why I can’t.”

Lukshia nodded and shifted her gaze directly to Katie, no doubt noting her haggard breathing. Sophie glanced down and found Katie staring right back at the woman. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, Lukshia; but why are you here?” Katie rasped her inquiry before devolving into a fit of coughs.

Sophie smoothed her daughter’s hair and shifted Luna slightly with the other arm. Luna mumbled something unintelligible and pressed herself further against Sophie. She felt the child’s nails twitch over her skin, as though she wanted a shirt to cling to, but Sophie’s bathing suit didn’t offer much to grip.

“Ending a transmission,” was Lukshia’s blunt response to Katie’s question.

“What?” the teen pressed between coughs.

Sophie sighed. “It’s my fault,” she muttered. “I should have listened to you and gotten rid of the damned thing when you asked.” Katie glanced up at her with confusion sparkling in her gaze.

“It wouldn’t have mattered,” Luksha commented with a shake of her head. “They’d have known the second you did that Katie and Luna were here. They probably would have come for them sooner.”

“They know? Lemuria?” Sophie winced at the thick terror that laced Katie’s voice. Luna flinched at the mention of the name too.

“Yes,” Lukshia confirmed. “The locket was bugged, Katie. It was never a gift.”

“Damn them!” Katie hissed. Her fin lashed out, causing a noisy rumple from the couch as her scales caught. Her anger was cut short as she began to cough again. Sophie pulled her back down and began to rub firmly along her spine as she tried to help her settle down again.

“Sophie?” Luna’s voice was hesitant as she spoke up, but Sophie gave her undivided attention to the girl. “I do not understand; if they know where we are, why have they not come for us?”

“That is a good point,” Katie agreed. “Why didn’t they come back for us the second we saw you? They have to be pretty desperate to get us back, I don’t understand why they would have any reason to wait?”

Sophie glanced between the two frightened Mer, then at Lukshia, who shrugged. She didn’t have much of an answer either. Then the likely reason hit Sophie and horror swept through her. “Riley,” she said finally. “She’s why. I was wearing that necklace for months before you came home, they would have known she was here. But she wasn’t here when you got back. They were waiting to come when all three of you were here and get another Mer.”

“But Riley was just here,” Luna pointed out.

“Yeah,” Katie agreed darkly. “But she left to return with your family, Luna. You’re the only Mer they’ve ever managed to find in all this time, now they have an opportunity to get you and I back, and three others as well? They’re biding their time.”

“No,” Luna’s voice cracked as she sobbed, and Sophie winced as the younger Mer twisted in her grasp and her scales grated against her bare leg. Then she sagged against Sophie and the woman felt her wet tears splatter onto her shoulder. “Riley. My family. They…”

Katie piped up to fill in when Luna broke off. “They are coming right back into a trap.”

“And you’re all the bait,” Lukshia agreed. She sighed and pushed up from the chair to pace around the living room a bit. “We’ll have messed them up a bit by destroying the bug. In light of that, I almost wish we hadn’t. I was prepared to take you all elsewhere, but having to wait on more who don’t have a specific deadline throws a wrench into the plans. I’m worried now that the transmission has stopped, it won’t be long before you have some hired muscle on your doorstep. They won’t risk missing that return. It’s a lot harder to track you two down out in the ocean; I don’t imagine your scientist friends will want you leaving here with these other Mer.”

“So, what do we do?” Katie wheezed.

At that point, Sophie decided to step in. “You are going to go lie down and get some sleep,” she stated. “You’re no good to anyone in this condition and I’m worried about you. We’ll figure it out, but I can’t think about that and worry about you exhausting yourself and getting worse.”

“But I-”

“No,” Sophie refused. “It’s not up for debate.”

“Your mother’s right, Katie,” Lukshia agreed. “Get some rest. You don’t look good.” She stepped forward and dropped a hand on Katie’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “We’re going to sort it out. It just means we have to think outside the box and that happens to be a specialty of mine.”

Katie was silent for a moment as she stared back at Lukshia.

Sophie allowed the stare down to occur in favor of cradling Luna into a closer embrace as the Mer had broken out into a serious round of quaking. “It’s alright,” Sophie whispered as she pressed her nose into Luna’s hair and kissed her forehead. “Just try to relax.”

Finally, Katie seemed to lose whatever quiet battle she and Lukshia were having because she sagged with another cough. “Okay,” she agreed reluctantly.