Luna sat on the edge of the bed, her heart drumming in her chest. She could only stare at the other Mer in front of her. Riley, she had said. She had also claimed they were cousins, related…family. Luna’s head was spinning and a cloying mix of powerful emotions was squeezing her chest, restricting her breathing and rising like a lump in her throat. She did not know what to think. Riley was staring back, but hers were not the only eyes Luna could feel watching her. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled and she shivered, choosing to stare at her scales instead of any of the four others in the room.

It was Katie who responded first by laying a hand over her own. Luna’s head jerked up to meet the gaze of her best friend, for once feeling so overwhelmed that Katie’s comforting smile was not enough to alleviate her distress.

Katie’s expression dipped into a frown and her fingers tightened around Luna’s. “Are you okay?”

Despite attempting to maintain composure, Luna felt her lip quiver and she turned away as her eyes filled with tears. She chewed on her lip and curled her fingers into fists. An emptiness was swelling up inside her chest, choking her.

“Kera,” Riley called again, her voice much softer than before. Luna forced herself to meet the older Mer’s gaze. Riley’s light blue eyes were clouded with concern. “What is wrong?”

Luna shook her head, as tears rolled down her cheeks. “You. This. Me,” Luna whimpered. “I should remember you. I should remember who I am. That name, it means nothing to me. It should mean something. Why did it not trigger anything?”

“Oh, honey, no,” Sophie chimed in, leaning closer and reaching a hand out. Luna shied away from the contact and hugged her arms. She did not want consoling for the moment.

“Luna-Kera,” Lewis fumbled with a sigh. “The mind doesn’t work that way, kiddo. You have endured so much pain and stress for so long. You might not ever remember much of the past.”

Luna bowed her head and tried her best to smother a sob, her tears flowing more rapidly. The empty hole in her chest had been there so long she had almost forgotten it existed. Now that it was prominent and pulsing like a ragged wound, she wanted desperately for it to heal, not remain to continue tormenting her.

She heard the mattress creek. “Riley, if you tear your stitches,” Sophie’s voice was strict and laced with warning.

“My stitches are fine,” came an equally clipped reply. “Kera, look at me.” The instruction was firm enough that Luna could not help but obey. Riley had leaned close, her gaze narrowed. Luna started to shy away, but Riley’s hand shot out and grabbed her firmly by the chin.

Luna froze, her heart thudding wildly in her chest and fear licking up her throat. She was overwhelmed with the desire she had been frequently accompanied by back at the institution, to shy away and hiss. The urge faltered when Riley leaned closer until their foreheads touched.

“You do not have to remember, Kera. Not me, not your name, nor anything else. What matters is that you are alive, you are going to go home and make better memories.”

“She’s right,” Katie agreed. Her voice momentarily drew Luna’s attention away from Riley. Her best friend was smiling softly and reached out to grab Luna’s hand again. She squeezed the fingers tenderly and Luna’s lips twitched, threatening to smile too. She watched Katie test the new name out. “Kera. It’s pretty. It suits you. You’ve waited for this for so long; to know who you are, where you belong. Now you have that chance; don’t sour the moment with tears for a past you can’t change. Smile. This is a good thing,” Katie pressed. Luna shook her head, she was not so sure she agreed, though her traitorous mouth was still trying to obey Katie’s request. Katie shrugged and grinned, and her tongue poked out between her teeth. “Fine then. Don’t smile.”

The moment she said it, Luna lost the battle and a massive smile erupted across her face and she giggled, even as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. Lewis dropped a hand on her shoulder and squeezed, and she directed her smile up at him. Then Sophie was grabbing her around the waist and tugging her close. Luna squeaked in surprise, but instantly relaxed into the warm hug she was folded into.

“You’re going to be fine, Luna,” Sophie assured her, hugging tighter. “It’s okay to mourn lost memories, but it’s also okay to still be happy about the good news now. No one will blame you for not remembering much about who you used to be. Who you are now is pretty great too, okay?”

Luna nodded and closed her eyes for a moment, choosing to enjoy the comfort that Sophie’s strong arms brought. “Thanks Sophie,” she murmured, snuggling closer to the woman. Sophie rubbed her arm in response and Luna felt her shift slightly.

“Now, Riley I’m not going to ask again. Lay back and mind your stitches. If they tear, I’ll make you lay in bed until they dissolve, which is going to be a lot longer than a day from now.” Sophie’s warning rung with finality and Luna watched the older girl hastily twist back into a proper semi reclined position and rest her hands on her scale-line.

“Happy?” Riley challenged.

“Yes,” Sophie agreed. “So, the two of you are related? That’s certainly a miracle. I’m glad we got so lucky, but doesn’t that create the problem of you having to go back?”

Luna watched Riley wince openly and shrug. “It has to be done,” she responded simply.

“Yes, but you mentioned you are not welcome back with your pod. What sort of consequences will there be?” Sophie pressed. Luna twisted her head to glance up at Sophie’s furrowed brows and narrowed eyes, then back to Riley. Not welcome? What had happened? It suddenly made her feel very nervous and her gut clenched. If Riley’s pod – her pod – were the type to banish one of their own, would they even accept her?

Riley chewed her lip for a moment. “It is a risk,” she began. “And I may have to fight, but not to the extent I just did. My pod does not kill unless forced. But Kera they will welcome with open arms and that is all that matters. I will take the risk in order to reunite mother and daughter.”

Sophie sighed. “I don’t like the idea of you taking that risk so far from medical attention, especially not after what just happened. Will you let us come with you? We can stay far enough back not to alarm them, but I’d feel better about you having a quick out to flee to if necessary.”

Riley shook her head. “If it was to that point, I would not make it back regardless. And my people are not social when it comes to humans and the first instinct will be to protect their own. If they were to perceive your boat as a threat, you would be in danger as well.” She sighed and picked at her scales.

Luna wanted to inquire and a glance at Sophie’s face implied the woman shared the desire to pry. When Riley closed her eyes and slumped, however, Luna held onto her questions. “It is a risk I will have to take on my own,” Riley continued after a moment of silence. “You will all stay here.”

“But don’t you at least need to take Lu-Kera with you?” Katie jumped in. “And I think I’d like to come too. I don’t know yet how I fit into anything, but she means a lot to me and if you’ll both let me, I’d like to come along and meet your family.” Katie’s gaze flicked to Luna’s at the last statement and Luna nodded. She wrung her fingers, silently relieved that Katie wanted to come.

“I must go alone,” Riley decided with a shake of her head. “Under normal circumstances, I would be taking Kera with me and you would be welcome to tag along, but these are not normal circumstances. It is a migratory season; our pod will be on the move. I can find them, but it will take me longer than it should. All Mer have a sense, something we just sort of feel inside that can guide us back to our families. I imagine Kera’s has faded after so long, but my own has been throttled by-”

“By what?” Sophie inquired when Riley trailed off.

Riley glanced up and smiled, the expression wry and partially a grimace, though her eyes were bright. “By the fact that I have a new family now. My sense does not call me out to sea to rejoin my pod as they migrate. Mine calls me back here, back home.” Riley’s cheeks colored and she glanced away, but Luna smiled.

She was happy that the Mer found a place that made her happy, where she felt she belonged. Though she did not really remember Riley, the longer the girl talked, the more she felt familiar. Luna wanted her to be happy.

“I can find my pod still, if I must, but it will be harder to block out the instinct that calls much louder. Kera, you have not spent enough time in the ocean. Following a boat at the surface does not count as proper travel. To reach our pod, I will have to current hop and you cannot safely follow. I will take the risk and go. I will bring your mother here to you.”

Luna blinked, staring at Riley in awe for a moment. Just as she opened her mouth to ask a question, Sophie spoke up. “Absolutely not. We’ll figure something else out. The only reason I was entertaining it earlier was because Kera was going to be with you; they might be more receptive to you bringing her home, but I don’t like the idea of you going alone – especially since you seem to be anticipating a fight,” Sophie refused. Luna carefully untangled herself from the woman’s grasp, which had just squeezed her painfully tight. For the moment, Sophie didn’t seem to notice much as she shifted closer to Riley, her expression pained. “Your life isn’t something to just toy with, Riley; you’re already hurt and getting yourself killed is no way to help Kera or anyone else. There has got to be another way. We can go with you; I know you can easily outswim a boat, but at least Kera wouldn’t have to swim far and you won’t have to go far to return. I don’t mind taking the trip.”

Riley shook her head and sighed. She stretched out both hands and cupped Sophie’s face. “I appreciate your worry, Sophie, but you cannot catch a migrating Mer pod on a boat. Once they reach the settling grounds, there is no way to join them. There will be many Mer and the grounds are secluded and loners are not welcome. You come with your pod or not at all. It is how they protect themselves. Either I go alone now, or we wait until the next cycle when they return,” Riley insisted. “There is no other way; it will already be a race to catch up with how far behind my injury is going to put me.”

“I don’t like it,” Sophie responded. Luna watched her shoulders slump and winced. She found herself picking at her scales. It was hard not to feel like a burden to the people around her. Everything they were discussing, planning, was because she was unable to help herself; they had to help her and she felt guilty about it.

“There’s still some time before Riley will be able to go,” Lewis chimed in. “We could potentially figure something else out, but I think in this case, Soph, we have to trust that Riley knows what she’s doing and how to handle this situation. It is her family.”

“Thank you, Lewis,” Riley agreed.

Luna chewed her lip. She wanted them to stop disagreeing and stressing over her. She had waited so long, but she could wait a little longer if she had to. The thing that couldn’t wait, however, still burned on her tongue like scalding water. “Riley?” Though she barely whispered the name, Riley’s attention snapped to her instantly. “Will you – will you tell me about my mother?” she asked, her voice still soft, but full of hope. She was desperate to know something, anything that could help her reconnect.

Riley’s smile was gentle as it stretched across her lips, and her eyes softened, crinkling in the corners. Her head dipped and she leaned back on the pillow behind her. Her fins flicked and gestured for Luna to continue. “Of course, Kera; anything for you, little cousin.”

“Why don’t we go into the living room then,” Sophie suggested. “You girls can get comfortable on the couches and have some breakfast while you talk. Riley, we’ll get you situated so you’re propped up and can relax. I am still concerned about too much strenuous movement.” She reached out and brushed Riley’s bangs off her face, tucking them behind her ears, and then sighed. “I guess you have even more reason to recover quickly now”

Luna jumped as Katie whistled sharply, the sound even more shrill through her fangs. “Wow, she’s letting you off bedrest early, must be special,” she teased.

“A whole day early,” Riley agreed.

“It’s basically a miracle.”

“That’s enough you two,” Sophie sighed. “Riley is still on bedrest, I’m just willing to let her rest on the couch if she can be still and calm enough.”

“Boring,” Riley grumbled with a dramatic roll of her eyes. “But it will suffice.” She grinned and Luna found herself smiling too. Riley was very energetic, and Luna was infatuated. She wanted to learn more and interact with her cousin as much as possible.

“You’re impossible,” Sophie muttered with a shake of her head. She rose from the bed and Luna twisted to look up at her as she laid a hand on her shoulder. Sophie smiled down at her. “You want a ride down the hall?”

Luna didn’t get a chance to answer as Sophie was already leaning down and scooping her up. Instinctively, Luna laced her arms around the woman’s neck as her tail was hoisted up and settled against Sophie’s torso. Taking a deep breath, Luna rested her chin on Sophie’s shoulder and closed her eyes. The woman was warm and Luna trusted her completely. She was able to relax as she was held. It was nice and she would not protest to being held like that more often. She twisted her head so that her nose was nuzzled into the crook of Sophie’s neck. The woman smelled of strawberries and sand, and Luna loved it. When Sophie brought one hand up and rubbed Luna’s spine under her hair, she sighed softly.

“You go ahead; I’ve got Riley. You okay to get down the hall on your own, Kiddo?” Lewis asked.

Luna opened one eye to see Katie nod and spin the wheelchair she was sitting in back around. “Yup, I’m good,” she stated as she rolled out of the room. Sophie turned to follow her, and Luna watched Lewis lean over Riley before her view was obscured as Sophie turned the corner.

Luna carefully positioned an apple slice on the surface of her waffle, turning it slightly and grinning. She sat back on her tail and glanced at Katie, who was in the process of taking a bite of her food. “Look.” Luna gestured at the waffle on her plate. “It is happy.” She had used blueberries and the apple slice to make a smiley face on the breakfast pastry.

Katie chuckled and nodded. “Yes. Now eat it,” she encouraged.

Luna’s smile slipped and she shook her head solemnly. “No.”

Katie cocked her head and raised an eyebrow. “Why not? You should try it, waffles are good.”

“I cannot eat it,” Luna protested. “It has a smile.”

Katie coughed, her hand flying to her mouth as she fought back laugher through a mouthful of food. Once she calmed, she reached out and twisted the apple slice upside down. “Now it has a frown; eat,” she instructed.

“I agree, Kera,” Riley stated. Luna watched her eat a slice of apple from the plate balanced on her tail, which was covered by a thin blanket. She had to stretch a little to reach the contents of the platter, but Luna imagined it was less a hassle than the discomfort of resting the plate over her injuries would be. “You should eat. The food is good, and you would be missing out not to enjoy your meal.” Riley maintained eye contact as she spoke, and Luna found herself shrinking slightly under the gaze. It was not harsh or unkind, but Riley felt so wild and knowing that Luna could not help the feelings of inadequacy and embarrassment that surged whenever Riley stared at her.

Her cheeks burned and she averted her gaze, staring down at the waffles. She reached out and plucked the apple slice off her plate. As she chewed it, she could not help but smile. It was a silly notion, to refuse food simply because she was playing with it, but it had felt good to just relax and play. She never got much opportunity growing up to just enjoy being a child.

When she had finished the fruit, she picked up a triangle of the waffle and clutched it between both hands to nibble on. She flicked her fin in delight. They were both right. Waffles were delicious. Luna purred as she took another bite and heard Katie and Riley both begin to laugh. Her blush deepened and she shifted her weight, but she chose to ignore them in favor of another bite.

When she had devoured the section of waffle, she finally looked back up at Riley, her attention shifting back to the conversation they had started. “Riley-” she took a deep, shaky breath. “What is my mother like?”

Riley was silent for a moment, but her soft, fond smile spoke volumes. “Your mother, my aunt, was the person who always supported me and had my back; no matter what. She is a healer among our family, one with a tender heart and a big smile. And she has a no-nonsense strictness with regards to treatment that rivals Sophie’s. But more than anything, she loved you. It broke her heart to lose you.”

Luna stared at her scales and began to pick at them, chewing on her lip trying to keep the tears at bay. She did not remember her mother, but the knowledge that she hurt her – that she caused others pain – was gut wrenching. “I did not mean to hurt anyone.”

The words had barely left her lips when Katie’s arms were around her. She closed her eyes, a few tears leaking past as her friend pulled her down into her lap. Luna pressed her cheek against Katie’s scales and shuddered. She did not protest when Katie began to pet her hair and rub her shoulder.

“Kera, it was not your fault,” Riley pressed. Katie made a noise of agreement in the back of her throat. “You were so young, and more importantly; you are alive. You are alive and she is going to be overjoyed. Do not torment yourself over truths that are irrelevant; you have endured enough pain.”

Luna took a deep breath and released it slowly. Her heart ached, but she knew they were right. It had been a long time since she had truly felt a longing for her mother; she had not allowed herself that sort of hope for a comfort she could only imagine rather than remember, but the yearning yawned in her chest now, gaping and bloody. “What was her name?” she asked. The urge to know more grew with the yearning and that was at least something she could satisfy.

Riley’s smile returned. “Rebecca,” she answered. “Her name is Rebecca.”

Luna closed her eyes and allowed the name to echo in her mind. It meant very little to her, but she wanted to mull it regardless. She tried to conjure a memory of her mother, anything at all. She had no memory of her face or anything she may have said, any interaction they might have shared. Only one thing came to mind and it felt minimal, but she voiced it regardless. “Riley, are her scales…green?” She stared at Riley expectantly, and felt a surge of emotion when her cousin’s head dipped forward.

“Yes,” she responded. “Deep green, like kelp. You remember.”

“Nothing else,” Luna sighed with a shake of her head. “I feel like I should remember more.”

“You remember something,” Katie pointed out. Her hand squeezed Luna’s shoulder and then moved to tuck some hair behind her ear. Luna curled her fingers into a loose fist as Katie returned to rubbing her back. “You remember so little and from what you’ve told me; a lot of that is fuzzy too. It’s okay that you don’t remember everything, I highly doubt that will be held against you after everything you’ve been through.”

“Of course not,” Riley agreed with a dip of her head. “As I said, you have plenty of time to make new memories, Kera; to grow close once more with the family you used to know and love.”

As Riley spoke, Luna raised her head off Katie’s scales as a thought occurred to her. She knew she had a mother – and now knew she had a cousin – but she had not inquired about any other family members. “Do I have a father?” she inquired hesitantly.

Riley nodded. “Yes. His name is Ixion. I am not surprised you do not remember him though. He was not around much in the last year you were with us.”

“Why not?” Luna asked, though she was hesitant to. Part of her feared the worst and her heart clenched at the idea of a death taking her father from her; she couldn’t remember him and would never get the chance to get to know him if that was the case.

Luna’s throat constricted when Riley clenched her jaw and averted her gaze. “Riley?” she pressed, despite fearing the answer.

Riley sighed softly, her shoulders sagging. “Your father was not around very much at that time because he was away from the pod. He was travelling, searching for your brother Nero. Nero went missing about a year before you did. It was with no warning and my uncle Ixion refused to give up or accept that he met a tragic fate, so he kept looking,” Riley explained.

Luna nodded. Part of her was grateful that her father was alright, the other part saddened at the disappearance of the brother she also had no memory of. She wondered if he had gone missing under similar circumstances to her own. She hoped not; no one deserved the fate she and Katie had endured. “Did he ever find him?” she inquired.

Riley shook her head. “When I was last with our pod, he had not; he had stopped looking at that point. Nero would not have stayed away so long if he had survived. He had been part of a small hunting party that got trapped in a particularly violent tempest. They were all separated, but only two made it back and they were badly injured. Nero was one of two others who did not return. Your mother and father will be overjoyed to have you home, Kera. It has been hard on them to lose both children, especially to such mysterious causes. As soon as I am healed, I will go to them and bring them here to you. Your ordeal is over, and you will be reunited with the family that has always loved you very shortly.”

Luna nodded again and forced a smile. Katie draped her arm across Luna’s shoulders and Luna felt warmth surge in her chest when she was squeezed close. She was happy – excited even – at the prospect of a reunion. But she was also terrified and her heart hammered in her chest at the thought. She did not know these people, did not remember them, and it was clear they had lost a lot. She would likely be a disappointment, a fragmented shell of the daughter they once had and likely wanted back. She did not want to let anyone down.

Luna closed her eyes and bit down on the inside of her cheek. She did not want to shed anymore tears. Katie and Riley would press her then, try to comfort her, but she did not want it. The inner turmoil would not so easily be settled. Their words would be kind and caring, but they would not help solve the problem before her. She looked at herself, marred by trauma and hidden scars, twisted up from the child she had been, ripped from the family she could not remember. There was no undoing that. When she looked, all she saw was the creature the scientists had turned her into, and that creature was ugly and skittish and disappointing.