Move to village

I was midway between my chicken chip breakfast and my chicken chip mid-morning snack when Alex called me.

He was wearing a purple tie with little pinstripes on it – it’s hard to explain exactly why, but it was a very smug tie. The sort of tie a parking warden would wear as they write you a ticket for being one minute and 20 seconds over parked – that is... if parking wardens wore ties.

‘Alex, you’re looking happy. Who died?’

‘Mr Hill, have you checked the number of reads on your stories lately?’

I shook my head, ‘I’ve had a lot of other things on my mind. Just writing the damn things is hard enough.’

‘Oh right... the whole chip thing... you realise that most of the problems in your life are brought about by you?’

I snorted, ‘If that’s the case, I must’ve done some messed up shit in another life to end up dealing with you every day.’

He sighed and some of his smugness disappeared, ‘Just check your reads.’

I brought up the stats table. They were looking good. Damn good.

A Victim of Online Fiction

The One Who Walks Alone

Reads last 24 hours

40,000

1500

Reads all time

721,000

64,000

I closed the reads tabs and kind of regretted it because I had to look at Alex’s face again.

‘I don’t need a new computer – I’ve got enough chicken chips to last me a month, and I’ve already covered my rent for this month.’ I put a chip in my mouth and crunched down on it, enjoying the pained expression on Alex’s face, ‘does this mean I can pay my debt and get the hell out of here?’

Alex’s grin returned, ‘Not just yet Mr Hill. You’re a very special case. A million dollars is a lot to earn back. It’s gonna take you at least ten million reads to break even.

I sucked air between my teeth, ‘Ten million reads! Are you out of your god damn mind?!?!’

Alex shrugged, ‘You’re the one who read all that Wuxia... Naruto vs Goku epic fan fiction.... battle of the ages, Sonic the Hedgho-’

‘-Okay okay... I didn’t ask you to read my entire browser history.’

‘All I’m saying is you dug the hole Mr Hill and I... being the generous and selfless manager that I am have found the next step to getting you out.’

He paused, like I was going to get down on my knees and sacrifice a baby lamb to him or something. Instead I just shoved another chip into my mouth and munched it loudly.

But even the chip couldn’t dampen his enthusiasm, ‘Mr Hill. You’re leaving the dorms. It’s time for you to go to the village.’

His hands were outstretched like a runner who’s just crossed the finish line. I made him wait in that position as I chewed on the remnants of my chip. Then I brushed the salt off my hands and yawned, ‘Nah. I think I’m just gonna stay here.’

Alex’s eyes widened, ‘Stay there?!? Man you don’t know how many authors have begged me – begged me to let them go to the village – and you just wanna stay in your grimy little dorm.’

I picked up another chip as Alex shook his head, ‘Mr Hill. Can you please refrain from eating while I’m developing you.’

‘Developing me? The only thing I’m developing from you is Haemorrhoids.’

He waved his hand, ‘I’m not here to swap insults with you Mr Hill...’

‘...only because you know I’m gonna leave you crying...

‘...I want you to go to the village. Mr Hill.’ He squeezed the bridge of his nose, ‘I don’t care about your feelings, your health, or what’s left of your sanity – we both know that. What I do care about is your writing, because that’s how you make me money. You going to the village will level up your writing career. I would not be saying this if it wasn’t true.’

‘Why don’t you just force me to leave, like you did with these dorms?’

He scratched his chin ‘Because whether I like it or not you’re more powerful now. You have people higher up watching you. I can’t just do shi- I mean things to you against your will anymore.’ He straightened his tie, ‘Remember how much you didn’t want to be in these dorms? Now you don’t want to leave.’

He stared into my eyes across the screen, ‘It’s time for you to reach the next level. You’ve earnt it.’

Our call went silent. He leaned back in his chair, waiting for me to make my move. I just shook my head, ‘That’s probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me.’

‘Don’t get used to it. You’ve just racked up a lot of reads this month... you’ll piss me off again soon enough.’

‘How about I piss you off right now-’

‘- Mr Hill, I-’

‘-I’m not going Alex. I like it here. I’m gonna save my reads and eventually get out of this shithole.’

Alex threw his hands up in the air, ‘Can’t say I didn’t try. There’s no reasoning with you. Go rot in hell.’

The call ended and I slumped back in my chair. I stared at the blank screen for a while, then slowly I turned my head.

Hera, Astra, and Victor were staring at me, mouths open.

‘What?’ I frowned.

‘Was that the gestapo?’ asked Hera.

‘Yeah. Alex wanted me to go to the village. I told him to stick it-’

‘-the village!’ Astra rushed over and hugged me, ‘Oh my god. That’s amazing.’

I frowned, went to speak, but Victor chimed in.

‘You managed that really quickly,’ Victor said, tapping at his keyboard much harder than he usually did.

‘It usually takes like years,’ Astra said, she leant back in her chair, ‘But look at you – our little Eli, all grown up.’

I stared at them, ‘Did I miss the admission class for this shithole of a place? I don’t see what’s so great about the village.’

‘It’s where all the successful writers go.’ Astra said, ‘There’s cafes, you can freely move around, meet other writers.’

‘All the pros go there,’ Victor said he picked up a can of soft drink, sculled it back and then crushed it, ‘Even the writer of the chicken story.’

I swallowed, then shrugged, ‘Yeah, well, too bad I told him to shove it up his ass.’

There was silence. The girls had their mouths hanging open, Victor was smiling and frowning at the same time.

Astra grabbed me, ‘Do you have a moment?’

I would’ve replied, but she was already pulling me into my room. She slammed the door and I rubbed my arm where she’d grabbed me.

‘It’s too late Astra, I already told him-’

‘’-no!’ I stared through the tears that were forming in her eyes, ‘Don’t blow this Eli. Don’t throw away this thing the rest of us have been working years for.’

‘I-I’d miss you. I’d miss you all too much. I’m fine just here.’ I bit my cheek, stopping myself from saying more.

She shook her head, wiped at her eyes, ‘Go there Eli. Show them what you can do. Show everyone who’s trapped that there’s a way out.’

I touched the side of her face, opened my mouth to speak, but the words wouldn’t come.

I stared into those greeny-blue eyes and she stared back, this giant happy-sad-angry-frustrated smile on her face.

I knew I couldn’t say what I wanted to say. So I just let my arms slip down to her shoulders and pulled her into a hug.

****

It took ten tries before Alex answered my call.

‘Mr Hill! It’s not often I get a call back from you.’

I wiped my nose on the elbow of my shirt, ‘It’s not often that you... you...’ I shrugged, ‘Anyway. I want to go to the village.’

He leaned back in his chair, a big cat-like grin settling over his face, ‘Is that so?’ He folded his arms, ‘It’s not going to be easy to regain your spot. They may have filled it already. No one else is foolish enough to pass on the opportunity.’

‘Great.’ I gave a sigh of relief, ‘I guess I’ll stay here then.’

‘Not so fast Mr Hill.’

His meaty hand landed on the mouse, gave two clicks, then he nodded, ‘The guards will pick you up in an hour.’

I stared at him, ‘That’s it?’

He pulled at his tie, ‘No... that’s just the start Mr Hill. I’m going to deduct your increased rent out now, plus a little extra which I’ll use to pay Manuel.’

‘Who the hell is Manuel?’

‘He’ll be your guide to the village, show you around, help you get comfortable.’

‘And I need to pay him because...’

‘Because Mr Hill, I’m worried you’re going to do something stupid. Every time you get a taste of freedom you... how do I put this politely...’

‘...I lose my shit?’

‘Yes. Precisely. Plus, life is very different up there. I want to get you settled in and writing as soon as possible.’ Alex peered at the corner of his computer screen, ‘It’s 1pm now, you better get packing. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.’

I nodded and just as he went to end the call he stopped, ‘Oh, Mr Hill...’

‘Yeah?’

‘Good choice.’

Packing didn’t take long. After I shifted the boxes of my stuff out into the writing area I helped Astra shift her meagre possessions into my room so she could look at the stars each night.

Then we all sat talking until a groaning sound came from the metal door to the outside world. It slid open and two guards – one guy with a moustache and one without sauntered into the room.

‘You,’ said the guy with the moustache as he jabbed a finger at me, ‘You’re Mr Hill?’

I nodded and turned to my three dorm mates, ‘I guess this is it.’

Hera gave me a hug, then punched my shoulder, ‘I would wish you luck, but you’re a psycho like me. You don’t need luck.’ She hugged me, ‘Just keep showing Crusher that you won’t take shit from them.’

Victor just nodded to me, ‘Take care out there Eli. I’ve heard of authors losing their writing ability to the village. Don’t let it take yours.’

And finally there was Astra. Eyes shining like stars.

‘You take care,’ she said, ‘I’ll see you on the other side.’

The guards grabbed the cardboard boxes that contained my worldly possessions (mostly chicken chips) and I picked up my computer, then waved a final goodbye to my friends.

The metal door opened out onto the dingy, rust coated hallway I’d come through when they’d brought me to the four-dorms.

The two guards’ feet tapped a beat on on the floor as we moved. We reached the end of the hallway, stepped into an elevator and the guard with the large moustache jabbed a finger at the button with the number 4 on it. The elevator gave a pathetic ding that died halfway through. The guard drew his fist back and gave the button a brutal whack. This time the elevator dinged with more enthusiasm and we started to move upward.

The moustached guard caught my eye, ‘You’d think with all the money they spend on you lot they’d at least get us a decent elevator.’

I just looked away.

The elevator opened onto a carpet lined hallway with fresh wallpaper and art hanging from the walls. At the end of the hallway were a pair of double doors.

On the other side of the doors was the brightest light I’ve ever seen. I was blinded as I pushed through and I felt heat on my face. The guards were calling to me but I ignored them and turned away from the light. As my vision recovered I saw green grass, and a tiny fern. They made me laugh. I turned back to the bright light and held the computer box up in front of it. Beyond the light was a blue ceiling with white flecks all through it. It took me a while longer still to realise that I was looking at the sky. I lowered the computer box and closed my eyes and the sun’s light – which still seemed really bright – warmed my face.

‘Come on, you’ll have plenty of time for that when we’re gone.’ said the moustached guard, only this time he didn’t sound angry.

I followed the two of them down a row of beautifully manicured cottages. They were wooden with white picket fences – like something from a dream.

‘This one’s yours,’ said moustache man. He was pointing to a weatherboard cottage surrounded by lavender.

I blinked and the guy waved a hand in front of my face.

‘You hear me?’

I pointed at the cottage – it was four times the size of our four-dorm and about 50 times bigger than my first cell.

‘That’s mine?’

The guard grinned, ‘Yeah buddy.’

They walked up to the front door and dumped my boxes of chips and noodles – the boxes seemed tiny compared to the cottage.

‘Do I need a key or anything?’

The guards laughed, ‘No. There’s no crime here. Ever.’ The moustached guy patted my back as he left, ‘Welcome to paradise.’

****

I walked through the house touching everything – the door frames, the windows, the television, the solid oak writing desk. Then I found the bedroom. It was humongous with a king size bed all made up for me.

I dropped the computer I’d been carrying and ran over to the bed, bouncing up and down a few times before thumping down on my back on the mattress. The sun streamed down on my face and I slowly drifted off into bliss.