Chapter 16.

“Heal.”

“Ow! What the hell was that for, you jerk! Isn’t that where you’re supposed to kiss me then lose yourself to lust, push me down, and finally have your way with me? Why’d you bite my lip so hard? Ugh. It’s still bleeding even after you healed me too.”

“You wanted a reaction, so I gave you a reaction. Now get off of me. Heal.”

The bleed effect was still active even after trying to heal her again.

“What the hell, your health is recovering, but the bleed effect isn’t going away? What’s going on?”

“Oh, I’ve actually heard of this before.”

“You have?”

“Yes, I’ve read about it in a legendary ancient text before. It’s a very rare curse. The only way to lift the curse is to ram your beep in my beep.”

“Do you have a death wish? Heal.”

“It’s the truth, I swear. So come on, hurry up and fix this. It’s your fault this happened for not going with the flow.”

“Cut the bullshit. Do you think I’m an idiot who’d fall for this blatant honey trap?”

“It’s not a honey trap though.”

“You just want to turn me into an obedient tool that will prevent heroes from killing you, right? I have no intention of letting myself be used by anyone to fulfill their hidden agendas, not even you.”

“I don’t need you to take up a pointless role like that though. I’ll defeat the heroes who come after me with my own abilities. Besides, even if I die, you’ll avenge my death like always and we’ll just be back to square one when I respawn. You just want to be a stubborn mule about everything. Could it be that you’re secretly so obsessed with your joke of a charm stat that you can’t accept that someone might be genuinely interested in you?”

“Who asked you? Now get off me already, you got the reaction you wanted. Heal.”

“I guess it can’t be helped, you’re such a pain to deal with. Even after all these years you never change.”

Not giving me a chance to say another word, she bit down on her bleeding lip in frustration. Her facial expression didn’t change but that didn’t stop her from going off on me, “Always going to the bar and drinking your sorrows away. Always smoking hoping it somehow kills you one day when you already know that’s impossible. Always pushing people away no matter how they try to get closer to you. Always complaining about how uncharming and unlucky you are. Always, always, always! ALWAYS! You’re pissing me off far more than the heroes that come to kill me!”

“You can laugh, you can express yourself, you can destroy the world effortlessly if you want to. You can save the world any time you want when it faces a great crisis. You can do all the things I can only dream of doing and more! You have so much power but you choose to do not a single thing with it! How is this fair? I hate you! I seriously hate you so much!”

“Yet, why do I like spending time with you? You, who acts as the guide for those despicable heroes who kill me in the name of game? You, who coldly watches on in indifference as I die every time at their hands, only to make a move after the fact in the name of saving a world you act like you are no longer attached to? Why? Tell me, why? Why do we have to keep doing this? Because we’re puppets who have to act as we are programmed by those sick devs?”

“I’m tired of it. I’m so tired of it all. If I’m going to die, then just leave me dead. I never asked to respawn. I wasn’t given the choice in any of this. Forced to slaughter lives like livestock as part of a sick twisted game in a never-ending cycle. Made out as the greatest villain against my will, forced to take the stage as an unwilling actor, and for what? So some brats can reach an adrenaline rush or high?”

“You have it so easy, only needing to act the role of a level one guide. Crying and showing facial expression isn’t even something that’s been programmed into me, but I still feel things you know.”

This is… awkward. I didn’t think she’d suddenly have a mental breakdown out of nowhere like this.

“Are you really not going to say anything to me even after all I’ve said?”

“You’ve got something stuck in your teeth.”

“AHHH! You’re so damn annoying!”

She head-butted me and bit down firmly into my lip. I healed her again as she was the one who took damage from the headbutt and her bite.

“Stupid hard-headed thick skinned jerk!”

When she pulled her head back, she rubbed both her forehead and teeth in pain.

“You feeling better after getting all that pent up frustration off your chest?”

The impassioned fiery aura around her gradually dissipated as she returned to her usual tranquil state.

“Haaaaah... Yeah. Sorry, I really went all out just now. This is what happens when you don’t pay me a visit for such a long time. The stress starts to build up more and more. You’re my outlet after all. The only man in this world who can withstand me venting when I’m throwing a childish tantrum.”

“You had quite a lot built up this time.”

“It’s pretty embarrassing when I go off like that, to be honest. You’re not aware of it, but I’m usually burying my head under a pillow in embarrassment when you leave after these little breakdowns of mine.”

“That’s a rather unexpectedly cute revelation. Aren’t you afraid I’ll use it as dirt on you in the future?”

“Shut up. Don’t even think about it.”

“The way you go from one hundred to zero in a flash like that is also surprisingly kind of cute.”

“No one asked you for your two cents.”

“It’s still hard to get used to those breakdowns of yours when your facial expression doesn’t change in the slightest.”

“Blame the shitty devs that designed me this way.”

“You tore into me way too much.”

“Haha. Yeah.” She put her right hand behind her head and put on a self-satisfied bashful act as though she were the recipient of a great compliment.

“That wasn’t a compliment.”

“It wasn’t? My mistake.”

“Were you serious about what you said about me?”

“Please ignore what I said, I was just ranting. I got a bit too fired up and said those things in the heat of the moment.”

“Ah. The bleeding stopped.”

“Yeah, it seems so. Though my blood got all over your lips. By the way, it tasted like smoke, blood, and… a bit of vomit… and stupid silver cat?”

“What did?”

“Our first kiss.”

“Uh… you can’t really call that a kiss. That was just a bite.”

“I understand the smoke and blood, but what’s with the vomit and… cat?” Her stare intensified.

“It’s… a bit complicated.”

What is with today anyway? Did I suddenly get super popular? No, this would actually be the result of my god awful luck. First was a cat I can’t stand being around, then a psycho who wants nothing more than my death, and finally a retard throwing a tantrum. Actually… yeah, that sounds about right for things I could see happening to me with my bad luck.

Yin raised her index finger and traced it along my lip from left to right and collected her blood. She suddenly poked forward and touched my tongue with the tip of her index finger.

“What do you think you’re doing Greater Demon Retard?”

“Well, you can now officially say you’re the first man who has ever tasted the blood of the Greater Demon God. What a perverted guide. I wonder how my subordinates will gossip about such a scandalous affair. The level one guide who drew blood from where no hero has drawn blood from before. Not even their Excaliburs have ventured where this tyrannical brutish level one guide has been. Is it not a fair assessment to say you’ve gone to the undiscovered country, from whose bourn no traveler returns?”

”I’ll really never visit your castle if you spread a stupid rumor like that.”

“I see, then I guess I’ll have to keep your deviant behavior all to myself.”

“Who’s the real deviant sitting in the nude here?”

“It’s not like it’s the first time you’ve seen it.” Yin moved her body closer again and rested her chin on my shoulder as she peacefully closed her eyes.

“Just let me stay like this for a bit.”

“No way.”

“Come on, we’re friends, aren’t we? Don’t humans say friends can lean on each other’s backs sometimes or use their shoulders to rest their heads from time to time?”

“I’ve never heard of such a thing.”

“You should read more to brush up on human relations then.”

“I hate humans as well as their world, the last thing I want to do is know even more about them. I want nothing to do with their disgusting world.”

“Why are you always like this? Ever since you met the devs all those years ago and became enlightened you’ve turned into this. You weren’t always this overly depressing type of guy. You even used to diligently fulfill your role as a guide. What happened when you met the devs? What did you find out that turned you into this?”