《I AM NPC69》Chapter 3.

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Chapter 3.

I coolly pulled up her stats in my head and realized she was a top-ranked player. No wonder she was so confident. Her apparel also made it pretty obvious she wasn’t a noob like the DH that just started this storyline.

Her straight long white hair covered her left eye. She had a black bow on top of her head with a white mantle that passed over her shoulders and hung down low, nearly touching the ground. Her garments, a similar white, covered her chest and sides forming a triangular area that exposed her bare skin around her abdomen up to her chest where a black lace ribbon wrapped around her upper waist, directly below her chest, tied in a bow at the front.

Overall, her well-coordinated outfit revealed a good amount of her skin, the fabric between her chest up to her neck formed a diamond shape leaving her shoulders bare. She had a detached white sleeve on her left hand and a single black gauntlet on her right arm. An exquisitely detailed black and white dagger hung down on her right leg attached to a black holster wrapped around her thigh. There was a long black piece of lace fabric attached to the bottom of the dagger.

I was certain for most men, her legs were like magnets that drew the eyes as they formed a perfect curve in line with her enticing hips. In particular, her white knee-high socks and black high heels greatly emphasized her partially hidden thighs.

While I was still taking in her appearance, she suddenly scoffed, “You have the nerve to eye me up after finding out my level and rank?”

“Your level and rank mean nothing inside the beginner village, you idiotic, overly flashy woman. You can’t kill inside the beginner village after all.”

“I might not be able to kill while you’re inside, but that doesn’t mean I can’t give you a beating that makes you wish you could die.”

“Oh? You really think you have the ability to accomplish that? You know, in this world you should be very careful with who you pick fights with. You might just bump into someone you stand no chance against. You wouldn’t want to die and lose that character you worked so hard for, now would you?” And your memories of your time in this game or even control over your body in your world. Naturally, I couldn’t say that though.

I raised the cigar back up to my mouth and took in another deep breath.

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“You’re still going to smoke when it’s clearly bothering the people around you? What kind of guide NPC are you? I’ve never heard of such an unlikable guide before. Actually, where is the hero with the main questline for this world? I came to PK.”

Haha. That guy is really such an idiot. He only considered friendly players showing up, did he really think nobody would come to PK him?

“Kohoh. Kohoh. As soon as I finish my drink I’m definitely going to give you a beating you’ll remember for the rest of your little NPC life.”

“Is that so? We’ll see. But anyway, you should probably forget about PKing this hero, they just started today. He doesn’t have a single thing worth PKing for. Let alone material possessions, he doesn’t have a single skill to his name.”

“What? Seriously? A complete noob?”

“Yeah.”

“What storyline are you in charge of?”

“The Greater Demon God.”

“What! That one? Hasn’t this storyline remained mysteriously uncleared? There isn’t even any information on what happens after you beat the final boss. Nobody seems to know. Once they die, the players just claim it was such a generic storyline that they can’t even remember what happened when asked about it. It’s super suspicious. Is there a secret boss in this storyline or some sort of very specific completion requirement? ”

“Who knows.”

“A complete noob got this storyline when countless top rankers have failed and had their characters wiped in the process? This noob should just give up now and reroll.”

“Yeah. He should.”

“Kohoh. Kohoh. Stop smoking you asshole!”

“Make me, or get lost you DB.” Dumbass bitch.

“DB? What’s that?”

“It’s code among us NPCs for people like you.” By us NPCs, I mean me alone.

“Deadly beauty?”

I looked at her like I was looking at some sort of retarded brain dead monkey.

“Sorry, let me correct myself. You would be what my people call a SDB.” Stupid dumbass bitch.

“That sounds like some sort of disease.”

“It is.” Stupidity is a disease that plagues the human race after all.

“You’re insulting me then?”

With an impressed look on my face, I started clapping, “It looks like even stupid dumbass bitches can understand when they’re being mocked.”

“Just giving you a beating is far from enough for a defective NPC like you. You definitely need death.”

“Too bad I have no intention to step outside of the beginner village until the hero clears all his quests. Though, after seeing how much of a noob he is, that idiot will likely never leave this village and trigger the main storyline.”

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“Oh? You think you’ll be safe because he’s a noob so you’ll never leave? Did you ever consider that I could assist him so he can finish the tutorial and drag your ass out of this beginner village with him?”

My eyes widened in shock and I started to tremble visibly in fear, “No. You couldn’t do that. That would be cheating.”

“Hahaha. So your confidence this entire time was just because of that. I was wondering how a little guide NPC had the gall to act so arrogantly with me.”

Yeah, hook, line, and sinker; this woman was an absolute retard. I just wanted to get her to leave. She may be a ranker, but she’s way too easy to deceive. Even if you help the hero, the hero is never going to be able to leave. I have the authority to hand out as many quests as I want. There’s only one way around that, but I’d naturally never reveal it.

A lot of rankers have even gotten stuck at the beginner village thinking the storyline for this world could be bugged. I wipe the method from the memories of those who do figure out how to clear the beginner village as soon as they clear it so word on how to clear the beginner village here never gets out. Sometimes I even throw out red herrings to throw them off and further frustrate them.

The GDR just respawns when a new hero appears anyway and the world continues from the point where the hero slays the GDR and is killed in return as if nothing ever happened. For people in our world, it’s just common sense that things worked like this. The cycle where the world is always facing the threat of being destroyed constantly repeats itself.

For humans, that sounds like a nightmare, but for us NPCs, it’s just another average day on the job.

“Please don’t help the hero, I was just kidding before. You’re such an ugly bit- I mean beautiful lady that I wasn’t thinking straight just now.” My insincere words definitely got to her as she was fuming, ready to rip my throat out.

She let out an incensed unamused laugh, “Hahaha. Don’t worry, keep your throat clean for me, I will kill you the second you step out of the beginner village. When I do kill you, I’ll also bury the unlucky idiot that got you as a guide beside your grave.”

She stood up and didn’t bother to finish her drink. Instead, she poured it out on top of my head.

Unphased, I just mumbled, “What a waste of a perfectly good cocktail.” I wasn’t even mad, I could only blame my negative infinity charm for this result. It wasn’t my fault, I was essentially programmed to be uncharming and unlovable like this because of these stats. I’m literally cursed. Was I intentionally designed like this to make me want to go to the other side?

Maybe I was designed this way to make the hero appear that much better. When you put a large pile of shit next to a little turd and are told to pick one, you’d naturally pick the little turd, right?

The woman stormed off out of the bar in rage, she was definitely going out to kill mobs to vent and let off some steam. Well, she’d likely run into the hero now. It looks like he’d likely get a pretty strong temporary party member. He should be able to level up and clear quests like crazy with a top ranker like her around. But... 10th on the national leaderboards, huh. Not bad. Who knows, she could even go higher.

It’s too bad she came to this world. If she chooses to stick around till the very end and takes part in the final boss fight I’ll have to kill her along with this noob hero. When the MMO option is enabled in the world I have to kill every hero in the world to stop the asteroid. As long as a hero exists in the world, the target remains enabled. It’s clearly a bug, but the devs don’t seem to care enough to fix it. Though I wouldn’t be surprised if they made it that way intentionally.

“Will a weak level 1 guide like you really be okay with a top ranker out for your life?” The barista casually asked.

“Are you worried about me? Could it be you’ve fallen for me?”

“You’ve always been a pain with ticking off my customers. I sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, hope that top ranker kills you.”

“Haha. Yeah.”

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