《The Other Side of the Bed - Half-Stuck in a Fantasy World》37. Making Camp
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The sun was setting when Princess Evelyn's expedition reached their campsite. The sunset painted a warm orange color across the mountain valley and the clouds above that contrasted with the pale blue of the sky. The campsite was tucked within a small clump of gold-leafed aspen trees, and it had telltale signs of use by travelers in the past, including a deep fire pit. The trees provided some shelter from the cold mountain wind and the clearing within was large enough for well over a dozen people and their supplies.
Zach quickly noticed that the treeline, the elevation at which trees couldn't grow, was just a hundred feet higher than the campsite. He estimated that the campsite was at around 11,000 feet and near where the west exit of Interstate 70's Eisenhower Tunnel would be in his world. Without that tunnel to cut under the continental divide, the expedition would have to climb up and over Loveland Pass, nearly 12,000 feet high at the top. Zach wasn't looking forward to that hike.
"Everyone, work together to get the tents pitched as soon as possible," Alexia shouted as she unfurled a small tent made of oil-sealed canvas. "We need to act quickly while there's still daylight and clear skies. Storms can move in surprisingly quickly up here."
"Who does she think she is?" Milo grumbled under his breath.
The question was obviously rhetorical and Milo hadn't meant for anyone to even hear it, but Fern answered it nonetheless. "Her name is Alexia and she's the Princess's bodyguard and a former guard captain."
"Ugh, I know that."
"Oh, okay," Fern said with a smile. "I get the impression you're very well studied."
Milo eyed her suspiciously. "Yeah, I have to be to maintain my rank as a combat mage for the kingdom."
Fern was getting excited again, bouncing from foot to foot. "Can you tell me a bit about what it's like to be a professional mage? I've always wanted to know!"
Zach watched their interaction with a puzzled look on his face. He had no idea why Fern would be interested in such an ass. Then again, she was curious about everything, so Zach put it out of mind and focused on putting up his and Riley's tent. It was barely six feet long and four feet wide, so he and Riley would be nice and snug inside. The wooden tent poles were a far cry from the modular fiberglass ones from when he'd been camping with his parents and the sealed-canvas cover was heavy and unwieldy.
Just as Zach finally got the little tent to stand on its own, Randolph announced, "Be wary tonight and report any odd sounds immediately. Interrupted sleep is far better than getting ambushed in the night."
Everyone agreed, except Milo, who was busy complaining about the sleeping arrangement. "Why does my tent have three bedrolls in it? There's barely enough room in these things for two people."
Alexia stepped up to him and stood tall, but she only came up to his nose. "Good news: there will only be two people in the tent at a time. You, Randolph, and Arko are going to take turns standing watch, as part of your guard duties."
Milo broke eye contact with the intimidating woman. "Fine. But I'm taking first watch. I'm not tired yet, and I don't want my rest split into two pieces."
Arko shot Milo an unpleasant glare and looked like he had something to say, but Randolph put a hand on the larger man's shoulder and said, "In that case, I'll take the middle shift and Arko can have the morning watch. Sound good?"
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Arko nodded and turned back to the tent, avoiding further interaction with Milo.
It didn't take long for the sun to finish setting and for the valley to grow dark. The moon was barely a sliver in the sky and left starlight and the campfire as the only illumination. Zach and Riley were tucked inside their snug tent, warm beneath their blankets. For nearly an hour, they conversed in quiet whispers.
"I can't believe they'd give the job to that jerk," Riley said. "But I guess you can get away with bad behavior when you're an experienced combat mage." She sighed and added, "I'd like to be that skilled someday. I'd ask him for advice about magic, but he's such an ass he'd either refuse or demand payment for the lesson."
Zach agreed with that assessment of Milo. "Yeah, he's a tool. I actually met him a few weeks ago, at the library, and he was a dick to me then too."
"Aww, I'm sorry to hear that."
Zach turned his head and looked Riley in the eyes. "But it's hard for stuff like that to bother me, when I've got you here with me."
Riley giggled at Zach's cheesy romance and gave him a quick kiss. Then she snuggled up against him and said, "Let's get some sleep. Got a lot of hiking ahead of us tomorrow."
Zach awoke to shouting, growling, and the sounds of combat somewhere outside the tent.
"On your right!" That was Arko's voice.
YELP! An inhuman, pained sound that hurt Zach's ears.
"Got it," said Milo.
FWOOSH!
The entire side of the tent lit up with the colors of the sunset, then it went dark again. Zach shook Riley awake and whispered, "Something's happening. Monsters I think." Then he rolled onto his belly, lifted the tent flap, and peeked outside.
About 15 feet from the tent, Arko stood over a bloody mass of fur that looked like a wolf, albeit a bigger one than Zach had ever seen. Milo was further away, next to a pile of smoking ash and bones that must have been a monster too.
Zach gasped aloud at the sight, causing Arko to spin around, one arm raised with a bloody short sword in hand. A drop of blood flew from its tip and landed on the ground near the tent, startling Zach further. Then Arko relaxed when he saw the sound had just been Zach.
Arko said, "The fighting's over. Randolph is searching the perimeter for signs of other monsters, but it looks like these two were alone. Given their shabby state and reckless attack, they were likely starving and abandoned by their pack."
It was the most Zach had heard Arko say at once. The man seemed far more comfortable in battle than in normal conversation. As Zach's pulse slowed, he said, "Oh, okay. Thank you for protecting us."
Riley popped her head out next to Zach's and she repeated the sentiment, "Thank you very much."
Arko took in Riley's bare shoulders and the handkerchief tying Zach and Riley's hands together, then he blushed bright red and averted his eyes. "Um, please try to get some sleep. We've got it under control now."
As the young couple crawled back under their covers, Riley whispered, "Aw, Arko was so embarrassed. He's like an innocent little boy." She grinned and nudged Zach in the side. "Or like you, Zach."
As Zach felt his own ears heating up with embarrassment, he admitted, "That's fair. But I'm getting better. Just like you're getting better about being with a guy."
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Riley pulled Zach's arm around herself and pressed her back against his chest. "Yep. We're improving nicely. Now let's get back to sleep."
The morning chill cut through Zach's drowsiness and kept him moving. While Riley helped Alexia prepare a simple hot breakfast for the group, Zach packed up his tent and helped Evelyn with hers. She was pretty capable in other ways, but she definitely didn't have any experience with camping. Her attempts at rolling up her bedroll and tent were sloppy to say the least.
As Zach rerolled Evelyn's tent tighter so it would actually fit in its bag, he said, "Did the fighting wake you up too?"
Evelyn yawned and brushed some messy brown hair from her eyes, then answered. "Yeah. Alexia had just untied herself from me when the fighting stopped. She insisted on joining Randolph for his perimeter check, so I didn't get to sleep again for nearly an hour."
"Oh, damn. Sorry to hear that."
"It's fine. I've met with nobles on less sleep, and the Kobolds are not nearly as obsessed with decorum as humans."
Zach stuffed the rolled canvas tent into its carrying bag. "So we're meeting them today?"
Evelyn nodded. "That's the plan."
"G'morning, Princess," Riley said as she approached. She was putting her maid experience to work by carrying three small plates of food and three tin mugs. She handed a set to Evelyn and one to Zach, then sat down on a log. She took a sip of her drink and said, "It's no cold-brew coffee, but this tea should help us wake up."
"Thank you," Evelyn said. She sat down as well and sipped her tea, then quietly said, "Say, Riley? Do you think you could call me Evy or Evelyn, at least when nobody's around?"
Riley blinked. "Uh, if that's what you want, Princ— er, Evy." Riley blushed and said, "Sorry… old habits die hard."
As Zach started into his breakfast of eggs and hashbrowns, something occurred to him. He had seen the bags of camping equipment that Arko and Randolph had carried, but he hadn't seen anyone transporting food, especially food as fragile as eggs. "Wait, who carried all the food up here?"
"Milo, apparently," Riley answered. "He's got some sort of pocket magic I've never heard of that lets him store a ton of stuff in that robe of his. Fern's been pestering him about it nonstop after she saw him pull a dozen eggs out of his pocket."
Zach looked around and spotted Milo and Fern on the other side of the campfire. Sure enough, Fern was rambling excitedly at the mage, who looked just as awkward and unsure as when he'd first met her.
Evelyn smiled. "I think he likes her," she said quietly.
"What?" Riley squawked, staring at Evelyn. "How can you tell? Just because he isn't being a jerk to her?"
"That, and she actually impressed him. From what Alexia told me, Milo was always the top of his class and then he quickly rose through the ranks of battle mages. He's always been above everyone, and now he finally met someone smarter than him."
Zach cleared his throat. "Uh, sorry if this sounds racist, but do humans and Kobolds often, you know, hook up?"
Evelyn shrugged. "Not that I know of. But half-humans are definitely possible, albeit rare."
"Oh yeah, like Stal. He said he had Jo-something ancestors," Zach said.
"Jotun," Evelyn clarified. "Frost giants who live far to the north, in what you'd call Canada."
"Ah, right." Zach's forehead wrinkled in thought. "Hang on. Isn't 'jotun' a norse thing? With Loki and Odin and stuff? How'd they get to Canada?"
Riley was very lost amongst all the unfamiliar words, so she just ate quietly while Evelyn answered, "No idea. History definitely played out differently in this world, and 300 years ago, the Old Kingdom had most of the history books destroyed, at least the ones in King's Speech. So we don't really know how the various races got where they are now."
"Sorry to intrude," came a voice from behind Zach. It was Fern, looking as bright and cheerful as ever. "I have two things to say. One, we're breaking camp and heading out now, so please finish eating. And two, my people have some history that might interest you. We should talk while we hike."
Zach shared a guilty look with Evelyn. They were both worried about how much of their conversation Fern had overheard.
Fern clapped her hands together and said, "Well, come on now, let's get going."
The hike up and over the divide was no walk in the park. Thanks to the thin air and steep climb, everyone struggled and made slow progress. Riley and Milo had the hardest time of it since they had never done much exercise at high elevation before. Zach had often gone hiking and mountain biking with his parents as a child so his lungs were well adapted, but he still got tired from the sheer number of steps.
Once again, Fern wasn't out of breath at all. "Kobold history is told through stories, passed down through the generations," she said. "The stories say that all people in the world were once more or less the same, before magic came to be. When mana entered the world, it changed the wildlife first, creating monsters. The people fled to places where the monsters were fewer, but they still struggled."
"Uh huh," Zach said. He was listening closely but he wasn't able to converse while keeping up his current pace.
"Then people started to embrace the mana, to take it into themselves. But different cultures had affinities for different kinds of mana. My people embraced the mana of the earth, stable and patient, and we retreated under the mountains. We were rewarded with safety, warm fur, and a deep understanding of metal and stone. The people who would become Elves were our cousins who had lived on the plains and in the forests. They embraced the mana of fire and lightning, of destruction. They stood their ground and used it to fight against the monsters, but it cost them dearly: their population dwindled and they withdrew to the eastern coast."
Fern took a sip of water from her waterskin, then continued, "The lizardmen are humans that embraced water, the most wild and natural form mana can take. It changed them, reduced them to something wild and feral, but it gave them the strength to survive in the swamps and islands to the south. The Jotun of the north melded with mana of ice and snow. They grew tall and hardy, but also solitary. Their need to spread out drove them from the continent of the Old Kingdom to this one, which the Kobolds call Thipi, meaning 'home'."
Fern grinned and said, "And some Kobolds believe that there was one other group of people on Thipi when mana appeared. These people embraced the mana of air, of the spirit. They left their physical forms behind and became Fey. They continue to walk the world, immortal."
"What about modern humans?" Zach asked.
"Humans only arrived on Thipi recently, long after mana had changed the rest of us, so I don't know how you avoided the physical changes that affected the other races. My theory is that the humans managed to stay neutral to the elements of mana. And though they clearly bonded with mana and learned to do magic with it, they always respected it and never sought to own it. I think that's why the Fey seem to like humanity so much."
"They do? I've never seen one."
Alexia cut in. "Spend some time outdoors and you will eventually. I've seen Fey on a dozen occasions, and I've been left in awe every time. They are like living mana, taking whatever form suits their whimsy, from humanoid one moment to a mouse the next."
"Are they big?" Zach asked, thinking of her 'left in awe' comment.
She shook her head. "Not the ones I saw. No matter their form, they stayed human size or smaller."
The conversation stopped dead when the group crested the final ridge. They stood on the continental divide, the line that decided where all water would go on its way to the sea. Behind them, all rivers eventually flowed into what Zach called the Atlantic Ocean, and before them was the great Colorado River basin, which made its way to the Pacific.
The view was magnificent: snow-capped peaks as far as the eye could see with brightly colored valleys of evergreens and autumn-colored aspens in between. Morning sunlight sparkled off a small lake in the nearest valley and a vast herd of elk crowded its shore. Even the rocky pass around them teemed with life, marmots and wildflowers and hardy lichen coating the stones.
"Wow, it's beautiful," Zach said, breathless for more than one reason.
Riley just nodded as she tried to catch her breath. Unfortunately for her, the trip down the other side of the pass was not much easier. The ground was sandy and uneven, making every footstep difficult.
"We have arrived!" Fern cheered, causing a few birds to take flight from a nearby tree.
"We have?" Zach asked.
"Yes, this is"—Fern rambled off something completely unintelligible in her native tongue. "But I guess you can call it Sunrise because it's the easternmost Kobold settlement on Thipi." Then she scrunched up her face and said, "Though that's not the best name, since it's in the shadow of the mountains and actually experiences sunrise later than some other towns."
Milo looked all around, including at the lake down the hill which still had some elk milling about. "I don't see anything. Just a bunch of trees with no sign of civilization at all."
Fern poked Milo on the nose with one finger. "That's because all of our major construction is underground! The surface is for nature and limited farming and ranching." Then she lead the group to an unassuming cave entrance in the hillside. Other than a well-worn path leading up to the cave, it would have been nearly invisible.
A dozen feet down the cool and dry tunnel, everything changed. The tunnel opened up to a massive cavern over 30 feet high and just as wide. It had been enlarged by tools of some kind that left a strange swooping crescent pattern on the walls, like thousands of lopsided 'C's. The artificial tunnel continued at that size deep into the mountainside, lit by small lamps every 20 feet or so which cast a pale blue light that didn't feel natural.
Zach was blown away. He couldn't imagine how the Kobolds could have made such a tunnel without magic. Even Milo and Alexia, the group's harshest critics, seemed to be impressed.
"Um, Fern?" Zach asked. "How did your people carve this? It doesn't look like it was magic."
"I'm not at liberty to say, but perhaps we can arrange a knowledge exchange when we get to town."
Riley pulled her eyes from the strange patterns carved into the walls, great swirls cutting deep into the stone, elegant yet savage. "How much farther is it?"
"Maybe five minutes to the front gate. There should be a welcome party waiting for us."
"How'd they know we were coming?" Evelyn asked.
Fern raised one furry eyebrow, then said, "The scouts saw us when we came over the pass. They've been tracking us ever since, but I guess you humans didn't notice. You really aren't very observant." She smiled to try to soften the blow. "No offense."
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