《School-life & Swordfights: A Clubs and Stubs Tale》Scene 7: The Bob and Ziggy Show
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Caleo, Arcanus, and Fenrick gazed skywards in disbelief at the huge structure they headed towards. They were certain that they only needed to pass through the higher-end section of the residential district in order to get to where ever Zeratron’s house was. They would had never guessed that Zeratron actually lived in the prestigious (not to mention extremely expensive) Vahallian Acres Apartment Complex.
They went into the building in stunned silence. A doorman greeted them upon entering and called Zeratron by name. Once they were in the elevator, Zeratron pushed the button to the 78th floor—just 2 floors short of the very top. The three stared at the glowing button with mouths agape. Though they had never been inside such a fancy place before, they were aware that the higher the floor, the fancier and thus pricier the rooms were. They took the long ride up until the elevator dinged and dropped them off into a nice, clean corridor with paintings of the lush Eastland landscape adorning the walls of the narrow hallway.
They stopped at a heavily-locked door that had the numbers 8-4 in the center. Zeratron pulled out a set of keys from his pocket and unlocked three different locks with three different keys before he opened the door. He welcomed his teammates into his lavish and exquisite penthouse. Upon stepping inside, they still had trouble processing the fact that their teammate actually lived at Vahallian Acres.
Their jaws dropped to the floor as they gazed upon the penthouse’s interior. The first thing they noticed was a long leather couch with tasseled pillows sitting in front of a big screen television set. Two large speakers that were almost as tall as the tv itself sat on either side of it. Between the couch and the television was a glass coffee table made out of clear crystal with a small stack of magazines on it.
Looking around more, there was not just one balcony out on the wide, round porch with a breathtaking view of the city, but also one on the second floor that overlooked the first. It was right outside the master bedroom and above the spacious kitchen area. The kitchen itself had a large island in the middle and giant three-door fridge. It was all very extravagant for someone who lived alone.
“Damnnnn Z! Why didn’t you tell us your pad was this nice?” Caleo said as he looked around in awe.
“I never thought it was worth mentioning,” Zeratron said as he walked across the penthouse to open the sliding porch door and allow the late afternoon air to flow in.
“Wow. That breeze feels heavenly,” Arcanus said breathlessly as the cool, pure air hit his face.
“How can you possibly pay for this place? It must cost a fortune!” Caleo asked.
“…I have an annuity that’s given to me monthly, from my mother,” Zeratron replied.
“She must make mad stacks of gold, huh?”
“She’s dead.”
“Oh.” Caleo frowned, and just like that a heavy, somber silence quickly filled the lavish penthouse. No one said anything and stood around awkwardly until Zeratron walked over to the big-screen television to turn it on.
“What channel is airing the show?” Zeratron asked.
“Channel 5,” Arcanus answered.
“Go ahead and take a seat,” Zeratron told his teammates. They all sat on the long leather couch except for Fenrick, who did not want to sit on something made from animal skin. He sat right on the floor instead, which wasn’t much of a bother since the floor was topped with clean, soft carpet.
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After sitting through a few commercials, the screen briefly turned black. Then, a jaunty tune started playing through the speakers. On the screen, a young dark-haired man in a green hooded-sweatshirt jumped into frame against a white background. Fenrick immediately recognized him as the exact person he met in the courtyard earlier that day. Though he didn’t think much at the time, the purple eyes were a striking feature which served as a dead giveaway.
Dropping in from the top of the screen and landing on the ground behind Ziggy with a camera-shaking thud was a massive creature the likes Fenrick had never seen before. It was four-legged and had wings like a dragon, but its rear legs were bow-shaped and it had smooth, slimey skin instead of scales. Its face was also much wider than any other dragon Fenrick had studied. Its eyes were spread far apart and it also had webbed feet.
The intro sequence played out while a chorus of snapping singers belted out the show’s theme song:
“It’s The Bob and Ziggy show,
it’s The Bob and Ziggy show,
stop what you’re doing,
and let’s all go,
to The Bob and Ziggy show!
“That’s definitely him,” Fenrick pointed at the screen. Caleo and Arcanus looked at each other with uncertainty. They decided not to say anything and watched the show unfold.
After the intro, a stylized title card popped up on the screen that read: Bob and Ziggy go to the Library!
Ziggy Ratt reappeared on the screen strolling through the entrance of a major city library. Behind him came lumbering in the rare amphibious monstrosity, Bobongo the Frog Dragon. A rousing applause from an un-filmed studio audience was heard as the episode began.
“Ah, the library; one of the best places one can find themselves lost in,” Ziggy took in his surroundings. “My favorite thing about a library is all the opportunities it offers to enlighten your mind. What is your favorite thing about the library, Bob? Is it the atmosphere, the peace and quiet, the piles and piles of books just waiting to be read?”
“RRIIBBIITT!!” Bobongo croaked out in a deep, monstrous ribbit that rattled the bookcases around them. The librarian marched up to the two and shushed the noisy frog dragon.
The studio audience laughed and all-together yelled, “Oh, Bobongo!”
“This is no time for jokes, Bob, we got learning to do!” Ziggy Ratt told the frog dragon and beckoned it to follow him.
Ziggy Ratt ran to the biggest bookcase he could find while Bobongo followed with short hops behind him. Each hop made the ground rumble. On the last hop, one of the nearby bookcases toppled over, but no one seemed to notice.
Ziggy scanned a row of thick books and pulled one out. “Wow! Look at this book I found about the Fire Knight Crusade that founded the Eastlands,” Ziggy read the cover and turned to his companion. “So, Bob, what book catches your eye?”
The frog dragon raised a massive webbed forefoot. He brought it down upon the bookcase, smashing it to pieces and sending the books it held flying in every direction. The librarian walked back up to Bobongo and once again shushed the frog dragon harshly.
Ziggy put his hands on his hips, shook his head, and laughed heartedly along with the studio audience.
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“Oh, Bobongo!” They all cried to the clumsy frog dragon. Bobongo looked at the camera and gave a sheepish croak.
The segment ended and the show cut to a commercial that advertised Darmane toilet paper.
“Bleh, I don’t see what’s so great about that kid,” Fenrick commented while sprawled out on the floor. “I’d kick his ass.”
“You have to give him a little credit,” Arcanus said. “For being so young, he’s managed to balance being a successful actor, druid, and student-gladiator all at once. Not many people can claim such a feat.”
“Whatever. His acting certainly ain’t nothing special; Bobongo’s the one that carries the whole plot.”
“Heck, and here I figured you would have liked meeting a fellow druid,” Caleo chimed in.
“We’re not the same kind of druid though—judging by the magic he used earlier, he probably belongs to those Grand Canopy douchebags down south in Greenfoot. I belong to a nomadic band of outcasts that originated from northeast Xerenia.”
“There’s really that big a difference?”
“Yeah. Very.” Fenrick sat up. “But, at least he’s not one of those ‘druid dudes’ that just sit around smoking pipe all day and saying stuff like ‘nature is so out there maaannnn.’ I’ll give him that much.”
“Well whatever the case, you have confirmed for us that Ziggy Ratt is indeed part of the Gungannon arena squad. That’s certainly something I would have never guessed,” Arcanus said. “We really need to put our heads together and come up with a solid plan.”
“Here’s my proposal,” Fenrick spun around to face the couch the others sat on. “We show up, we destroy, we leave. Any questions?”
“Yeah, I got one,” Caleo said with a grin. “By ‘destroy’ do you mean like how you ‘destroyed’ that orc with the stupid mohawk earlier?”
“Hey, I almost had him! You just weren’t looking,” Fenrick started. He, Caleo, and Arcanus talked over each other while Zeratron ignored his teammates’ rabble and kept his crimson eyes on the television set.
Their pointless argument was interrupted by an ear-piercing shriek. They all jumped in fright and covered their ears at the alarming sound. They turned their attention to the porch balcony. What they saw, perched upon the railing, was a tall, noble eagle that stared back at them and flapped its wings proudly. It had a razor-sharp beak that looked like it could break through solid rock and gorgeous golden feathers running down its imposing wingspan.
“Dad?” Fenrick scrambled to his feet and approached the balcony. “What are you doing here? How in the world did you find me? What do you want?” He sputtered out his words.
The golden eagle screeched again in a slightly lower register.
“Yes, that’s a bruise on my jaw. I got punched by an orc earlier.”
“Screech!”
“No! Please don’t tell mom, I’m fine, seriously!”
“Hey Mr. Freygar!” Caleo casually called from the couch. The eagle leaned to the side to look past his son and spread one wing high, waving back to Caleo.
“Dad, seriously, don’t worry about it, it was just a little scuffle with some goblin-kin. We took care of it… Mom does not need to find out.” Fenrick urged.
“Screech!”
“Yes, yes, I’ll be home soon, just let me say bye to my friends first, sheesh!” Fenrick crossed his arms and turned his back to the perched eagle.
After quickly cocking its head in several different directions, the eagle named Mr. Freygar turned around on the railing, flapped its wings, and took off from the penthouse. He soared majestically through the air until he melted into the setting sun.
Meanwhile, Fenrick huffed back into the penthouse, “Ugh, so damn embarrassing,” he said while he covered his eyes, abashed. “My parents are so damn weird; they can’t even bother to be human most of the time.”
“Really? They go everywhere as animals?” Caleo said incredulously.
“Yeah. Apparently, my mom was still a deer the moment she gave birth to me… I literally came out of a deer’s womb.” Fenrick said thoughtlessly, then he let out an audible gasp and covered his face with both hands. “Why the hell did I just tell you guys that?” His muffled voice came behind his hands.
“At least you have them… And that they care.” Zeratron said just loud enough to hear.
Fenrick was about to go on another one of his rants, but refrained as the mention of Zeratron’s deceased mother crept back into his and the others’ thoughts. Nothing else was said on the matter. They all decided to watch the rest of “The Bob and Ziggy Show!” where Bob and Ziggy went to the zoo and saw all sorts of fascinating creatures including a wyvern, an emerald lake serpent, and a porcupine. Ziggy and Bobongo waved goodbye to the viewers as the credits rolled.
“Oh, I just remembered!” Caleo said once the show was over, “Ophelia wants to go to Movie Hill tonight. I should be grabbing my car and heading to her place right about now.”
“Yeah, it’s about time I go feed Todd the 3rd,” Arcanus checked the digital clock that sat on the table next to the front door. “Enfields get quite feisty when they don’t get fed on time.”
“And I guess I should be getting back because—you know—my dad literally swooped in here and screeched for me to be home soon.”
“Alright.” Zeratron apathetically responded.
“See ya tomorrow, Z.”
“Have a good night, Zeratron.”
“Later, Z-Tron.”
His teammates said their farewells. Caleo and Arcanus exited through the door, while Fenrick randomly ran to the porch and jumped off the balcony of the 78th floor. He plummeted towards the ground, but no crash was heard below. With that, Zeratron was left alone in his penthouse to ruminate the events of the day—and what tomorrow may bring.
It has been confirmed that druid/television star Ziggy Ratt is in fact the fourth member of the Gungannon team. All that’s left for our heroes is to get through the final day of school before their big match. They hope for nothing but a boring, uneventful day—but will they get it? Find out next time on Clubs and Stubs!
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