"They know" - OK, I get that catching fish is a gamble for the most part for someone of my skill, but this was getting ridiculous. I've returned from scouting and almost immediately started fishing, but to no success. What's worse - I got so occupied by the process that I've lost any track of time, only noticing when it was getting darker, and I mean two to three hours Earth time until the late evening when it's hard to see almost anything in front of you.

You could describe what came next as hectic rushing from one place to another. As if my pants were on fire and I was running around to find a fire extinguisher. I had to do a lot of things in the remaining time, for one I had to relight the campfire. Good news- it took only a few minutes to do so. The bad news however - my hands were blistered from the constant use of the spear for god knows how many hours, some of those ripped and now stung from every touch.

I really got consumed by the fishing, or rather I couldn't think of anything but eating fish at the time. What's worse - there was only one cooked fish left, as I ate the other one just before I went to fail at shoving a spear into the water. I really thought that catching a few more fish would be easy, but it wasn't. I got too confident after catching mere two fish by luck, thinking that I could replicate the success. Being wrong isn't great, being wrong in a situation like this can be disastrous.

The night was spent doing mostly nothing, as I wasn't able to figure what to do and what resources were necessary to make any more tools in the time I had. Losing track of time cost me quite a bit, besides, I was getting worried that the one cooked fish was the only food for a while, the Numb-berries were too suspicious to eat, the paper-leaf wasn't edible as far as I thought, and eating grass or moss seemed pointless.

I was now standing in the morning sun, with a spear in my hand, once again, trying to get some more food. The source was not secure at all. The fish weren't big in the first place, and having only one meant that I would start losing a lot of strength soon. How long will I really be able to go on for? A week? I doubt that I would be able to continue fishing with no way to refill energy. Two weeks is a period before dying.. I doubt anyone who lies on their deathbed will have any power to stand up and fish for hours.

The fish avoided my throws, as if they suddenly invested into evasion stat. I doubted that was the case, but their movement was different than before. They knew of my presence for sure, and avoided every throw I made. Yes, I've gone so far as to try throwing the spear if the fish was a bit out of reach. My stomach hurt and I felt hunger more than ever before, I had to force myself not to think about the cooked fish I left at the camp. I had to somehow ration it probably, but I didn't know if I could trust myself with that.

I literally thought only about fish. I would stand in the pond for hours, failing at getting food, do some other tasks - like gathering firewood, or getting bark off of the stems of the bushes for later - to make cordage. But that's it, I wasn't able to think straight for some reason, I was sweating during the night, my stomach was turning and every joint in my body hurt. It wasn't anything I ate, because I didn't eat anything that day. The fish was left for the next day, to get some energy for the coming day, so I felt horrible.

I was lost to what caused this condition, but it's not like I cared about the causes. I wanted to eat fish. I sat there, moving my line of sight from the flames to the leaves where the fish was.

"It will spoil soon, I shouldn't wait for that.. eat it now, a good course of action yes." - My eyes were bloodshot at the time, I didn't get any sleep for the whole day, evening and good half of the night, hunger was keeping me up and awake. I couldn't sleep, my whole body was trembling as from a fever, even my skin hurt. I could have had a heatstroke from being in the sun for the whole day, exhausting myself. I didn't care about that, trying to come up with any reasons not to eat the fish right now, it wasn't easy to do. I bit my nails to the point that three fingers started bleeding from the corners when I ripped a piece of nail along with a tiny bit of flesh. Red droplets covered the nail along the rim, smearing across the skin wherever I touched.

It was one long night, but as I saw the surroundings get lit up by the morning sun, I've grabbed the fish. The patience had its limit, and my limit seemed to be long gone. I had to eat, it was the only possible choice here, nothing else was an option. My hands ripped through the flesh of the fish, and with shaking fingers I ate the cold white fish-meat. It wasn't juicy as at the time I ate it right after cooking, it was also still bland. My mouth salivated like crazy though, I ate hastily while trying not to choke on the bones.

Once I finished eating, the feeling of hunger died off, together with the trembling, the pain in the joints remained, but it was bearable. I felt better, the thought of what just happened and my actions sparked in my mind, but died off really quickly.

"God.. if that was simply getting hungry, I don't want to know what I will be doing after a week of this." - I thought that I had a heatstroke and my body was under a lot of stress, which caused it to crave for food more than usual. People will begin to lose their minds from hunger, it was proven in human history on multiple occasions.

"Seems it's quite easy for me to lose mine.." - I felt displeased with myself, giving in to hunger so easily seemed like a really spoiled behavior in itself.

I started the day by doing other tasks before getting into water. I gathered wood and collected more fibrous bark. I was getting anxious that I will get hungry for the fish once again and start going insane once more. It didn't happen though. It was somewhere in the middle of the afternoon when I felt my stomach ask for some more food, but it was a weak call, nothing like the insane hunger I felt during the night. It was a possibility that something else completely caused the symptoms, getting sick would be a step towards disaster, but at least I got myself an explanation. My mind was a bit at ease, just a bit though.

I slept as planned during the day, the exhaustion from the sleepless night allowed for a few dreamless hours of sleep. My head felt clear as I continued with the day, it's like nothing happened. I was going on with the tasks. Of course fishing was the majority of them. Fish, do something else, fish again. It was a priority of course, I wasn't able to find anything else edible in here.

I sat staring into the flames once it got dark, I wanted to make sure that no more hunger madness would come. It didn't seem to, which seemed odd. I was hungry, but not like that time, not to the point of seeming insane to myself. I was confused, but at the same time - relieved. My eyes moved from the fire to the big pile of curly strands. It was the prepared and separated bark fibers, which I collected during the day, mostly to get fish out of my mind. It did help, but I was left with a ton of fibers to process.

It was first time for me making rope, but the process wasn't something completely difficult. I sat before the flames and pulled the pile closer to where I was. My fingers separated a few long strips, which I then gently bent in half. Holding both ends, I twisted the one which I held in the fingers of my right hand clockwise - making it wrap on itself, spiraling the strands firmer together. Then I switched the twisted strand from my right hand to my left, by twisting it counterclockwise around the untwisted end which was previously in my left hand. Repeat the process and if everything was done correctly, you will eventually see a rope forming. Once the untwisted strands become shorter, add more in the same fashion, by taking a bunch of fibers, bending them in half and adding to the ones you were twisting. That's all there is to the rope-making, twist the half fibers in one direction, then twist both ends in the other, not rocket science.

It's a tedious and slow process, but I was able to make quite a bit of rope out of the bark fibers, and what's more - it was quite sturdy. Making rope was soothing, you didn't have to think of anything, just keep alternating twisting one end with twisting both, and not fuck up with mixing up the directions. One - clockwise, two counterclockwise, repeat. My fingers moved as I was sitting scrunched up in front of the fire-pit. Before long, I had a whole thick coil of cordage, which was undoubtedly stronger than the vines. I bet I could come up with some uses for it, but at that moment it was nap time according to the schedule. The last nap before the new day, once more - I forgot to count how long has passed since my arrival.

I sat with my elbows on my knees and my head on my palms, trying to sleep. I thought about the fact that I was running around like a headless chicken, not having a plan. Planning was important, but how could I do other tasks while the food situation was getting out of hand. Oh great - you have built a house, but ended up dying from starvation because you didn't allocate enough time for food.

It was getting chilly, I felt my body tremble a bit, but before long - my mind went blank and I fell asleep. More attempts tomorrow, though I will have no breakfast this time. I will hate myself for eating the fish and not leaving anything, but that will be the whole new day..