"The world's in a bad way, my man,

And bound to get worse before it mends;

Better lie up in the mountain here

Four or five centuries,

While the stars go over the lonely ocean."

-Robinson Jeffers

Gray was truly angry for the first time since she had woken up. (Or was she an 'it'? That made it feel like she was an object. Ugh, this wasn't the time to be thinking about this!) There were some areas he was dumb in, and his disregard for his own life was annoying, but she enjoyed his company. That, and she had literally been able to think and feel because of him, and what a wonderous, crazy thing that was. She still remembered her days when she was simply ruled by her instincts - how that made sense, she didn't know - and comparing the two things...

Sentience... Being able to think for herself, to make her own decisions was undeniably better. It was only natural she felt grateful. And he even happened to be the type of human that she liked. Not too loud, could take a joke, wasn't an insufferable asshole... It was perfect.

So, yes, Gray was angry.

(She was the only one allowed to bully him. No-one else could touch him.)

And yet... He had still ended up in this state... Gray felt like she hated the emotions she had gained for the first time as she stared at his still, dull, unfeeling eyes. His eyes could never be described as animated, but they had sparks of life, hidden deep down inside of them. When she complained, when she talked a lot... There were emotions from him. H-He... He wasn't like this. He could have just as easily been dead, with eyes like those.

{Hey... P-Pull yourself together... Like you always do...}

He showed no reaction, save for a quiet, soul-wrenching laugh. The pitch of it was low and gritty like he hadn't spoken or used his voice in days. His eyes were still dull and lifeless. Somehow, seeing him like this made Gray scared for him even more than she had previously.

"Hey... Why am I not insane yet? Isn't... Isn't that supposed to happen sometime soon?"

Gray's golden, serpentine eyes burned. Her nonexistent heart hurt.

{No. I don't think it's possible for you to go insane, Izuku. You are much too strong for that.}

Water started to leak from his eyes, but he didn't react to it. His eyes remained dull and lifeless.

"I see... I was afraid that might be the case..."

A quiet look of contemplation fell over him before he reached his decision. An inaudible mutter of 'Sorry' was the only warning Gray had. Lightning flared in his heart, but it dissipated as soon as it formed. Gray's body crackled and popped with anger and hurt at his actions.

{You..! Why the hell did you-!}

"...Everything hurts. I-... I don't think I can live like this," His eyes were pure and blinding bright red, tinged with a corrosive purple on the outer edges. His tears hadn't stopped the entire time. "I can think. That's horrifying. I don't want to think anymore. I can't... I cAN't..!"

His words broke and crackled as his voice quivered in pure fear.

His body was shaking.

He looked like a child, sitting there and shaking.

It was wrong, so wrong-

(If Gray was an actual living creature, she would have cried at that moment. As it was, she wished that she could.)

{...If you want to die, don't... Don't use me to do it. Please. I can't, wouldn't be able to handle that. Despite how my words sound, you're the only human that I've ever liked. I remember all those people that were used as fuel to make me, and they disgust me still. I long got rid of the parts that I didn't like about them, but I still remember. So, if you care even a millimeter for me, please don't commit suicide.}

His dull eyes widened, a sour look overtaking his face as more guilt piled on top of the already sky-high pile.

(Despite it all, he still had kindness deep within himself. He himself didn't quite know how, but it was still there.)

"I see. Sorry, Gray."

Gray got the urge to cry again. Alas, she had no tear-ducts to cry from.

Still, despite the little time they spent together, he still listened to her words. If the situation wasn't so horrible, she might have even been happy. At present, though, there was still a more pressing issue to attend to. She was selfish, in the end. She didn't want her time with Izuku Midoriya to come to an end so soon, just as she had finally been able to talk and make him aware of her presence.

She was oh so very selfish.

But she couldn't give up on it, now that she had tasted companionship.

{...If you die, that bastard won't get what he deserves, Izuku.}

(God, she was so, so horrible, but she just didn't want to be alone or die yet-)

It seemed like the thought hadn't even occurred to him in his misery, perhaps because he had been so kindhearted as to give up on revenge before. His dull bright red eyes gained a subtle edge to them; if one wasn't looking for it, they wouldn't notice, but it was evident that-...

That the idea appealed to him.

Izuku did, in fact, feel hate slowly bubbling up within his core, threatening to consume all his reasoning. His mind was, had been in a state of chaos for quite a while now. His mother was dead. She was gone, permanently. Because of him. The thought tasted different each time, but all of them had their own unique flavor of despair and soul-shattering guilt. And it just wouldn't go away, no matter how much he pleaded or begged for mercy.

But that made sense. It was a fact. (hE wOuLDn't bE aBLe tO eScApE iT, nO maTtEr hOW lOnG hE liVeD-

wHy wAS hE liVInG aGAiN?)

As much as the sky was blue, and the ocean was water, the death of Inko Midoriya was Izuku Midoriya's fault.

That was a fact, but...

It was also a fact that that man was the one who killed her.

The deep-seated rage, the urge to avenge in his chest wasn't mechanical nor was it logical. He had heard the saying, 'Revenge doesn't bring people back', so many times he had grown dizzy of it. And it was true. It wouldn't bring her back, there was no way to fix things anymore.

But he didn't give a damn anymore.

His heart died when he saw his mother on the floor, swimming in her own blood.

(It was one thing to hurt and destroy him. It was another for his mother to be the one hurt, to be the one dead. He could never forgive that.)

He felt so stuffy like there were swarms of bats in his chest, but he also felt so hollow and empty (again), and he was tired of feeling hollow. But, the idea of revenge, of killing the bastard that had killed his mother... It silenced the screeches of the bats in his ear and filled the endless hole in him a little. It was being filled with blood, but it was being filled nonetheless. He would probably self-destruct.

He couldn't bring himself to care.

Garbage wouldn't be missed, anyhow.

"...You're right, Gray. I almost let that bastard go in my self-deluded haze! And those pieces of shit as well. If they didn't tell that bastard anything..." His dull eyes were still dull, but they glowed bloody crimson. Anyone who saw him now wouldn't think of the boy lying crumpled on the floor, afraid of himself. "Gray. How many thoughts would you have to devour to kill Shigaraki with certainty?"

{You...}

He laughed. It was a laugh with a dash of madness.

"Don't worry, Gray; I only target criminals. You should know that by now."

Gray didn't know what to say. Even when Izuku had been under the command of All for One, and had to kill criminals, he never liked it. He would never choose to kill people if he could do otherwise. But, now... He was actively asking how many of them would have to die in order to get the certainty to kill him. A sense of foreboding washed over Gray, as she wondered if she had made a greater mistake than she thought she had.

{...10 people. Possibly 15. But, if we strategize, then-}

"Good. We'll start out with them, then. I won't accept any room for error. I may not be able to target All for One because of the heroes, or that bastard because of his quirk right away, but I can kill Shigaraki right now. I can't let him warn the others. It has to be instantaneous."

Gray still wasn't convinced.

{But you hate doing this!}

Deku did nothing but smile, his pupils glowing with a crimson. He knew. But he wasn't going to change his decision.

Gray knew, at that exact moment, that she had unleashed a monster upon the world.