《Re:Insanity》Chapter 019 : Emotions
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There was a woman sitting in a throne. She stared at me with half opened eyes while her hand is resting on her chin.
"Hmmm... I guess what Iena said was true. You still don't understand yourself..."(?)
The woman mentioned Iena, I've gotten curious on her suddenly. But...-
My curiosity was devoured by the unstable emotion I had. I could feel the argument of the thoughts in my mind. In the end the darkness took over my feelings. I could still what's happening but my mind was unable to comprehend the right and wrong.
The thrilling sensation once again spread over my body. The desire to kill took over my mind.
I dashed towards the woman but she still sat there remaining her position. I gripped my dagger, when I closed our distance, I rose my dagger in the air ready to swing it to her. I was to about to hit her but-
*Flick
Suddenly, I got hit by a incredible force, it was so powerful that I flew in the air. I fell on the ground, I noticed that some of my bones was broken. I looked at the woman. Her hand was still on her chin but her other hand was raised and facing towards me.
She flicked me with her fingers!!? I tried to used >Identify
"Trying to take a peek, huh. Cool your head a little..."(?)
All of a sudden brilliant lights surrounded my body. My body felt a soothing sensation, it also made my mind calm and clear.
The rage in my heart completely disappeared.
"Are you calm now?"(?)
"...Yes."(Jeff)
She asked me in a flat tone. I answered her politely, while still recalling what happened to me.
My body was taken over by "him", I can't even make myself calm. I was naive and stupid. What if "he" takes over my body again, I might kill some innocent people if that happens.
My face began to express a grim expression. The woman noticed it and spoke.
"Hey kid, I think you're mistaken..."(?)
"Huh?"(Jeff)
I couldn't understand what she meant. What did she mean I'm mistaken.
"The other guy you're mentioning is just you, you know..."(?)
"He did say that, he said that he's my other personality..."(Jeff)
I noticed that she can hear my thoughts.
"Other personality? Are you stupid that's just you. Not some other entity."(?)
"....."(Jeff)
"*Sigh... Looks like you still don't get it."(?)
She sighed deeply and looked at me with serious eyes. It seems that she's trying to explain something to me.
"You know, kid... It's impossible for a human to be taken over by another personality, well unless they are possessed by an entity. That's why it's impossible for them to say that they're body was possessed by their alter ego. A human's emotion mostly gets confused making them think absurd things. In that state they get insane because of it. It's mostly caused by painful experiences and memories. People makes different personality as a defense from the situation they have. In your state, you're just confused because of the uncontrollable emotions you had. You're mind couldn't contain all of it, making them rampage in you head. I guess they leaked because of the stress of your mind."(?)
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"Then what was that conversation we had in my mind?!"(Jeff)
"Isn't that just your mind hallucinating. Just understand it already. You did not get possessed. You just went on a rampage, that's all."(?)
My mind was enlightened. The realization behind that emotion. The truth of my personality. I was quite glad, when I discovered it. My mind was finally in ease.
"Thank you. I can't thank you enough."(Jeff)
"Don't thank me. I just couldn't stand seeing the stupidity of yours"(?)
I was definitely embarrassed by my actions. If it wasn't for her my mind would have been completely broken.
"Ummm... You summoned me here wasn't just because to help me, right?"(Jeff)
"Heh... straight to the point, huh. Well I'll introduce myself first. I'm Aira, The Goddess of Judgement. The one who governs the balance of the world you're currently in."(Aira)
"I'm-.."(Jeff)
"Yeah, I know you're name is Jeff who has a coo coo mind."(Aira)
My introduction was cut by Aira's insult. I didn't got mad though since it's true. I only responded with a wry smile.
"Well then the reason I called you here is to ask you to become my Apostle."(Aira)
"Apostle?"(Jeff)
"*Sigh... I hate explaining... It's too time consuming.."(Aira)
Too time consuming, she said. She must be only sleeping when she has time.
"Hey, I heard that."(Aira)
Oh crap! I forgot she can hear my thoughts.
"Well, anyway... An Apostle is the one who do the Gods' task. The Gods order them and they obey. After that they get rewards. Bla bla bla..."(Aira)
Aira uninterestedly explain me what Apostles are. She definitely is a lazy one.
"I see, so you want me to be your Apostle. Then what kind of tasks do I do?"(Jeff)
I want to know the tasks. After all I don't want to do any shady tasks that involves in killing innocent people.
"I know you would doubt but don't worry. A Judgement Apostle's job is mostly about maintaining the balance of good and evil, though the good side gets the most merit. This involves killing evil people and helping certain people, and such."(Aira)
The job seems quite good. I can also have many merits with having a Goddess helping me. It's kinda like being a servant but since involves in helping people, it is a honorable job. I don't see any problem in being an Apostle. Of course, I won't just acccept it since it is too good and tempting. But she wouldn't help me if she had any evil intentions, I mean she can just control me if she wants to. She is Goddess so she's definitely powerful, I felt it when she flicked my head. Plus I want to show my thanks for helping me.
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"Well, I'd like to replay you for helping me so I'll accept."(Jeff)
"Sigh*... Finally, I got an Apostle."(Aira)
Aira let out a sigh of relief. She sluggishly sink into the chair. I can see two mountains from my angle.
"Hey, kid. Stop looking at me."(Aira)
I didn't look at her with leeching eyes. I don't have any urge in any perverted things at all.
I'm not gay. I just don't know the feeling of lust at all. I haven't even fall in love. The reason was because of me being bullied when I was a kid, plus the time when I locked myself up. During those times the only people I talked to was my parents and the trolls in the internet.
When I came to the fantasy world I wanted, I didn't have urge at all. Am I dense?
"Stop that past recalling moment. Do it somewhere else."(Aira)
"Ah sorry. So what will I do now?"(Jeff)
"Since you accepted you will be able to have the Class, Judgement Apostle. Here I'll give you the invite."(Aira)
You can now change your Class to Judgement Apostle.
Accept Class?
Y/N
I accepted it and my Class changed from None to Judgement Apostle.
"I'll also give you some a Divine Blessing and other skills as a bonus. I'll also change your >Power of Insanity
Divine Blessing of the Goddess of JudgementA blessing given to you by the Goddess of Judgement.
Damage Increase to Negative Karma: +100%
Stats Bonus: +20%Eye of the KarmaActive: Allows you to see Karma.
Passive: Increase Damage in Vital Points: +50%
Insanity's EmotionThe ability to use negative emotions as a source of power.
Can only be used when a specific emotion is at 100%.HatredStrength Increase: +50%
Agility Increase: +100%
Aura of Rage: Gives Fear effect to those who have lower level than yours.
Emotion Gauge: 0%LonelinessIntelligence Increase: +100%
Vitality Increase: +50%
Aura of Sorrow: Agility Decrease by 50% to those who have lower level than yours.
Emotion Gauge: 0%FearStrength Increase: +75%
Agility Increase: +75%
Vitality Increase: +75%
Aura of Fright: Damage Decrease by 50% to those who have lower level than yours
Emotion Gauge: 0%EcstasyStrength Increase: +50%
Agility Increase: +50%
Vitality Increase: +50%
Intelligence Increase: 50%
Aura of Joy: Gives Healing effect on allies.
Emotion Gauge: 0%
Wow! look at those skills. I couldn't understand what Karma is though. My >Power of InsanityInsanity's Emotion
"Thanks for the skills. It's good that they aren't too OP."(Jeff)
"I've heard from Iena, what you said when she gave you the skills. So I didn't made too powerful."(Aira)
"So she told me about you. Can I perhaps see her I also want to thank her."(Jeff)
"No you can't see her right now. She's currently busy doing her job."(Aira)
Too bad. Well since she's busy, I shouldn't bother her.
"Well then let me explain the skills you don't understand. Let's start with >Eye of the Karma
My Divine Blessing gives damages increase on those who have negative karma. Karma is something like a pointing system on their deeds. If you keep committing sins your Negative Karma increase, so you'll need to do a lot good deeds if you want to have a Positive Karma.
Next, the >Insanity's Emotion
I noted all what Aira said in my mind. Aira sighed out of relief. She sure sighs a lot.
"Since I've told you all what I need to tell. I'll now bring you back. You'll know when there's a task ready for you."(Aira)
A magic circle appeared below. Rays of light appeared at the magic circles and started to immerge in me. My figure started to disappear.
And instantly, I was in front of the exit of the dungeon.
My mind was now finally at relief and now have a set of goals.
"First, let's help the church!"(Jeff)
I walked out of the dungeon with joy. I was excited on the future that I will have
With now my mind enlightened, I decided to continue on fulfilling my promise.
-
Meanwhile at the God's Realm.
"Hey, Iena. I finally got have an Apostle."(Aira)
"Oh really? Was it Jeff?"(Iena)
"Yeah."(Aira)
"....."(Iena)
"Iena?"(Aira)
"...why.."(Iena)
"Huh?"(Aira)
"Why did you not told me?! I could've talked to him, if you told me!"(Iena)
"But aren't you busy today?"(Aira)
"What are you talking about?! Didn't I told you that I will be free today!"(Iena)
"Oh... I forgot."(Aira)
"....."(Iena)
"..sorry."(Aira)
"*Sigh... then did you help him?"(Iena)
"Help him what?"(Aira)
"Help him understand his emotions."(Iena)
"Of course, I did help him. I even gave him the skill to help him contain it."(Aira)
"Then that's good."(Iena)
"Though the skill I give might not contain it much."(Aira)
"I understand... Old wounds don't heal completely, it will always leave a scar that will make you remember it."(Iena)
"You're worrying too much."(Aira)
"I suppose I am. I just hope he won't meet that person."(Iena)
Yey, I was able to finish it today! Took me quite some time to finish it. Ummm, I never planned Jeff to be controlled by an alter ego. He just have unstable emotions, I hope you guys don't hate me with my decision.
Peace!
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