《A Superior Being Will Always Rise ... Even If They're A Goblin》Goblin Can Haz Throne
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[I’m finally free of all those annoyances. This is how it should be. Just a man and his dog (actually a wolf) ruffing it in the wilds.]
Returning to the pile of bones Jellal retrieves his saws. After sheathing them he puts them back into his bag so they’re out of the way.
Grabbing some bones he begins to build the base of the throne. To do this he builds it up one layer at a time. The bones in each layer sit parallel to one another. For consistency’s sake he uses similarly sized bones, starting with the larger bones at the bottom. Every layer is rotated so it’s perpendicular to the layer below it, creating a checkerboard like pattern.
Looking at the gaps created due to the shape of the bones gets an idea. Scrounging through his bone pile he finds some thinner bones and slides them vertically through the gaps. In theory this should add some extra structural integrity as well as holding the inner bones in place.
When the base is almost up to his knees he stops building. The plain looking base is a square with each side being around the length of his legs, giving him ample room for a sturdy back and armrests while still leaving sitting space.
Pausing the construction for a moment he quickly runs outside and grabs some thin vines off the trees by the cave entrance. Slipping a vine in the gaps he feeds it mana to get it to grow, spreading through the internal structure of the base.
While growing the vine he carefully weaves it through the base in a manner that keeps it from being visible from the outside. To make sure the bones on the outer edge stay in place he drills the vine into them and runs it along the length of the bones.
To build up the armrests and the back he only lays the bones facing the relevant direction instead of the bulky checkered pattern. Each section is two bones wide, with a series of bones running between them.
After building the parts on the ground he discreetly runs a vine through each piece. With the parts solidly held together he sets them into place and uses a final vine to connect all the parts of the chair together as one.
Since the base product is too plain he packs up the remaining bones and returns to the treasure room. Before throwing the excess bones onto the mountain he scours it for bones with character to decorate his throne with.
The first type of bone selected is the spine. When it comes to having a distinct character it truly reigns supreme. For the second type he chooses boar tusks. The unique split into two pronged tusks on the monster boars seem like they could be useful for decorating so he grabs a handful of particularly large ones to go with the spines.
Leaving the treasure room he doesn’t bother to seal it back up since he’s finally the only one living here.
Once he’s back in the dining hall he gets straight to work styling up his throne. He runs spines down the four outer corners of the throne to help add character. Using vine meta he secures the boar tusks around the top and sides of the back portion of the throne and at the front of the armrests.
Taking a step back he checks out his handiwork. Although it’s not as intimidating as he’d like it to be, considering the material he had to work with the results aren’t bad.
Ready to try in out he hurries back to it and plops down. His good mood from completing his throne mark one immediately turns sour. As it turns out, bones aren’t the most comfortable thing to sit on.
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Hopping up he makes another trip to the treasure room, this time in search of something to act as a cushion. Unsurprisingly foam and other such cushiony materials aren’t the type of items merchants would load up their carriages with and travel great distances to sell. Without finding any particularly appealing alternatives he settles on using fur, a material he has an almost unlimited supply of.
He returns to his throne carrying a few rolled up fur blankets and rugs. Leaning them up against the throne he takes a step back to decide which shade is best suited for the task. In the end he prefers the dark and light contrast the darkest roll has with the bones and goes with it.
Cutting the undesirable rolls into thinner strips he starts improving the comfort level of his throne while being sure not to skimp on style. The other rolls are used as lower layers to add comfort while the roll of choice is put overtop for the finishing touches.
The end results of his amendments is a strip of fur running from the bottom of the throne on up. The strip is slightly thicker than body width, with the base’s portion is only made of the select fur as it’s only for decoration. The seat maintains the width, though the layers hidden underneath add thickness and comfort. The cushioned layer runs halfway up the back before it’s replaced with a thin decorative layer.
Starting halfway up the back the decorative layer is broken down into seven thinner strips. One goes straight up to the top while the rest curve to each side in a symmetrical fashion. The strips end in between boar tusks, adding to the overall design.
Sitting down, Jellal tests the new throne mark one. It may not be the most comfortable seat but it’s far superior to the plain bone version, gaining it a nod of approval.
Stepping away from the throne he gives it another appraisal after his new additions. The fur lining isn’t a fancy addition but it adds some much needed flavor to the plain areas, causing him to give it the seal of approval in the form of a self-satisfied nod.
With his new throne set up and ready for future use he’s finished everything he wanted to do before heading back to Pavise. To make the most of the trip he checks his bag to make sure it’s filled to the brim before setting out.
After stepping out of the cave he puts the defensive walls back in place before stripping down. Taking to the skies he activates his lightning version of flight magic and thunders toward his destination. Along the way he checks out the situation in the forest.
Prior to crossing the stream the size of the hordes are still continually increasing. Occasionally there are more powerful monsters mixed in with them, but it still isn’t frequent enough to expect one stronger monster per horde.
On the other side of the stream the hordes are still significantly smaller and weaker. The size of the hordes is slowly increasing, but not at the same rate as the other side. This side also lacks any powerful additions to their hordes, making it safer for the adventurers fighting to hold them back.
Coming to the large meadow outside the forest, Jellal does a quick check to ensure no prying eyes are around before landing. Once on the ground he throws on his disguise and heads toward the city.
To speed things along he uses the wind version of flight magic while hovering less than half a meter above the ground. As he moves he always keeps a close eye on the surroundings so he won’t be spotted.
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When the line leading into the city is visible he gradually decreases his altitude as he goes, eventually transitioning from flying to running without stopping. His speed also decreases as he closes in on the gate to keep from standing out too much.
Walking up along the road he bypasses the line and heads straight for the gate. The people waiting in line to go into the city are naturally not pleased about it, but he treats them like air and continues on his merry way.
The commotion he causes draws the attention of the guards and they move to assess the situation. Luckily for Jellal Kite’s team is responsible for gate duty today. After spending all day running around town thanks to Jellal’s escapades they volunteered to take over the usually tedious gate duty to escape the never ending treks through the city. Just when things looked to be working out for them the master of disaster personally came to the gate.
The guards’ faces immediately cramp when they see who’s causing the commotion. The people in line, who had originally been expecting a good show, quickly notice the change in the guards and curiously discuss the mysterious line hopper amongst themselves.
Many strange theories pop up about the masked man’s identity. These range from him being a guard on a secret mission to being an influential noble in disguise. Some even claim he’s the king in disguise or a big shot from a foreign power.
Listening to the crowd speculating about his identity Jellal isn’t sure how to feel about it. Should he be honored they think of him like a big shot, or upset because his reputation hasn’t spread enough for yet? Thinking about it logically, this is only his second trip to Pavise so everyone knowing about him is a bit of a tall ask so he decides to accept them thinking of him like a powerful figure for now.
As he meets up with the guards he doesn’t stop, but gives them some face and slows down slightly as he continues on. Not surprised they quickly do an about face and move alongside him.
[It’s a copper piece fee to pass through the gates. We also need to see your id; it’s standard procedure to look for criminals after all. Also we’d like to know the reason for you skipping the line. You should understand that we can’t just let someone skip for no reason, right?]
[Let’s just say I’m passing important information through the guild. If you want to know what the information is ask the guild after I tell it to them.]
One of the guards receives his guild card along with a copper piece and rushes ahead to go through the necessary procedures. He walks with the guards until he reaches the gate and the guard comes back with an impeccable sense of timing. Taking back his card he continues on into the city.
Cruising down the main road he sets his sights on the adventurer’s guild as his first destination. Even if he only said he had important information to tell the guild to bypass the line he should at least pass on something so it doesn’t affect his credibility.
Along the way he picks up a snack at one of the stalls and munches on it as he goes. His opening and closing mask, with its creepy looking face, draws a lot of attention from onlookers. Apparently the mask was creepier than he originally thought when it’s in use since a bubble of empty space forms around him as he walks.
He finishes up his snack around the time he reaches the plaza, causing his bubble free of people to return to normal. As he moves through the plaza he keeps an eye out for anything interesting, but nothing catches his attention so he moves along without stopping.
Walking inside the adventurer’s guild he finds a receptionist he’s familiar with and walks over, ignoring the line much to the dismay of the people waiting in it.
[I’m going up to see the guild master.]
After giving a heads up to the receptionist, mostly because he thought her reaction would be interesting, he continue on to the stairs without giving her a second glance.
[Hey, wait you can’t- Ahhhh! Someone cover for me for a minute I have something to take care of.]
The receptionist was too caught up in dealing with the current person at the counter to notice Jellal walking up. Upon hearing his statement she glanced over to see who the idiot trying to go see the guild master without permission is only to find a familiar annoying masked man walking past her.
When her attempt to call out to him fails she looks around for someone to cover her spot at the counter. Luckily someone nearby is free and comes over to help, giving her the opportunity to rush after him.
As she comes up on him from behind she decides not to bother with him anymore since she’s had more productive conversations with brick walls than him. She gives him a glare as she blows past him on her way up the stairs.
Arriving at the oversized doors she knocks three times and waits to be allowed to enter. Upon receiving permission she hastily walks inside and tries to explain the situation to the guild master.
[Guild master, that crazy masked guy’s back again and he says he’s coming up to see you. I tried to stop him but he ignored me so I rushed here to give you a heads up an-]
As she rushes to warn the guild master the door creaks open. Her voice stops cold as she turns her head to see Jellal walking in without knocking or asking permission. Before she has a chance to flare up the Aegis gently places his hand on her shoulder to stop her.
Seeing how the guild master seems to have everything under control she quietly leaves them to it. When the door shuts Aegis’ face becomes exasperated, dropping his façade.
[What did you come for today? I thought you only wanted an id to move around as you wish.]
[I didn’t feel like waiting in line so I skipped it. Apparently you need an excuse so I told them I had important information to give the guild. It wouldn’t be much of an excuse if they could easily find out it wasn’t true so I dropped by for a chat.]
Hearing his perfectly justifiable reason for coming here Dirrale gives him a death glare while Aegis rubs his temples and sighs.
[So you just wanted an excuse to skip the line? Why did you have to drag me into it? Shoo, go away.]
[Come on man, don’t be like that. If they come to check up on my story without me ever showing my face here I wouldn’t be able to skip in the future. Also I can pass on new information about the forest to you when I do. It’s a win-win situation. You get information you wouldn’t have access to otherwise, and I don’t have to wait in a stupid line to come into the city.]
[You’re acting like the situation is so bad I need daily updates. Even if I cover for you how am I supposed to get by when they come to confirm things with me? I can only spread information so thing before I run out of excuses and people start questioning my credibility.]
[It’s fine, the forest gets worse every day so there will always be something new to say. For instance, on my side the number of four digit hordes is increasing and you can’t find any below triple digits anymore. There’s also stronger monsters like orcs and bears being affected by the miasma and mixing in to the ranks. See? That’s two days’ worth of information right there, we’re golden.]
[Timeout! Is what you just said true?]
[When it comes to information about the forest I have no reason to lie or stretch the truth. Even if me having important information was stretching the truth, I wasn’t totally lying. Even normal information can be considered important from the right perspective.
Take my information about the forest as an example. For me it’s normal, insignificant information, but for you it’s something that could potentially affect your livelihood.]
[Your deal about offering assistance to guild masters if you’re in the area and they can provide sufficient compensation applies to me as well, right?]
[As long as you can provide proper recompense it does. Just because I said they have to pay doesn’t mean I’m limiting to what I want to cash. In fact, money isn’t a big deal to me so I’d prefer not to deal with it too much for large transactions.]
[Alright, then what’s the price for having you check out a village for me. It’s a ways away and near the stream so it’s the most likely one to be hit by a horde without us knowing. Since you were supposed to meet with Sionia earlier I can assume you’re able to move at a descent speed since you beat her back. The job will be to check on the village and report back to me as soon as possible.]
[Hmm, the compensation depends on how fast you want to know and if there are any other caveats. If you want me to do anything other than check and come back it’s extra. Even if the village is getting railed by monsters my job will be to check and come back.
As for the base price I have a few quality of life things I’d like taken care of. First I want to be able to skip the lines at the gate and here. Other than that I want you to sell off my junk for me. I have a ton of stuff from the bandits’ hideout to get rid of and since I’m going to come here whenever I enter due to my excuse to skip the line it makes since to have you take care of it for me. If you want to sell it to the merchant association or as bits and pieces doesn’t matter, but if you do go with the merchant association ask for old Isaac since he’ll get down to business immediately.]
[I, can manage that. If the village is under attack I can only bite the bullet and find a way to compensate you for stepping in on my behalf. As for the timeframe, I would prefer if it happened today if possible.]
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Hi. I'm Eric Mohammed, an appless high-school drop-out. You're probably expecting me to write an elaborate description with a compelling hook here. You would be wrong because I don't give a fuck. You see, this is the story of me getting absolutely shafted in a multitude of ways by a multitude of interesting parties. I don't need to sell it. Have fun reading, or don't. — Eric P.S: Just in case one of you fuckers hacks my phone and gets this published somewhere on the internet and someone leaves a bad review, I'm gonna wreck their shit and yours. Just sayin'. I'll have you know my story is amazing, got that? The damaged file attached above was retrieved by unit \0x2D4FFFFFu on 42/89/0504T00:00:45.0410Z AE, during a salvage operation. Restoration in progress.
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