《Useless Strength In The Modern World》Faceslapping Is The Strongest Skill
Advertisement
Grinding cultivation was a pain in the a*s, but Zhuge Lian knew it had rewards. After so much time cultivating, he had finally received that orgasmic System notification sound he had come to know and love during his time of secluded meditation. He couldn't get enough, and the feeling of progression hooked him.
However, he didn't receive his lovely cultivation rewards just yet, and that was quite strange.
◢Perhaps the System didn't count my cultivation? No way! I received those EXP notifications...◢
"System, why aren't my rewards being given to me yet?"
*Ding*
Host, I am currently calculating your rewards and gains from this session of secluded meditation. If you continue acting like a spoiled brat who cannot wait for mealtime, I can always nullify your rewards and remove the need for me to calculate any longer.
"Wait- No! I need my rewards... System... Please... I'll call you father... no, I'll call you grandfather!"
*Ding*
Who wants a grandson like you...
"..."
◢Why does it feel like this is the Godly System of Insults and not the Modern Strength System...◢
*Ding*
Finished calculating.
Godly Bodhisvatta Art Level 1 -> Level 3.
+5 EXP per cycle -> +7 EXP per cycle.
Cultivation level upgraded, 3000 EXP received.
Redirecting Stage One 10/200 EXP -> Redirecting Stage Seven 310/800 EXP
Hitting Force: 3.5KN -> 21KN
Internal Force/Qi: 0 -> 1
Congratulations on your first wisp on Inner Qi, attained in the Redirecting Stage! This Qi can be burnt or used in skills to increase your combat power or used to create spiritual items.
Zhuge Lian was almost frightened to death from all the System notifications. Alone, each announcement created a slight "Ding!" noise that reverberated in his head and was very calming and pleasant. However, nine announcements at once caused his head to spin, and it felt like a traveling crew of triangle players were parading around in his head.
Advertisement
Once his headache subsided, he began to take a look at his rewards from the past few weeks.
◢F*ck, it was mentally exhausting and tedious cultivating in seclusion like that... I had better get some good rewards, or I really will rip through the dimensional barrier to wherever the System is from and beat it to death.◢
When he finished reading, Zhuge Lian had to try and stop himself from yelling in excitement. Try as he did, a small whimper of happiness still escaped his lips.
◢21 KN?◢
Zhuge Lian searched up statistics online for how hard professional boxers could punch, and the average strength was 4KN to 7KN. His current punching strength had surpassed a world-class boxer's punching strength by three whole times...
◢After so much cultivation... it is time to get to the most exciting part. Using! My! Strength! But where could I possibly go...◢
He knew there was a famous MMA gym near him, but he was afraid of getting beaten, afraid of getting destroyed, afraid of injury-
◢No more, Zhuge. On this path of cultivation, you reminded yourself that you would be steadfast and strong. You can't give up on the very first step!◢
Zhuge Lian resolutely called for the elevator and tried to calm himself by counting sheep. However, his overactive mind imagined a strong boxer mercilessly killing all of the jumping sheep, and then Zhuge Lian too...
◢Okay, maybe that's enough counting sheep.◢
He found himself staring at his reflection in the mirror again on his way down from his apartment. For some reason, his skin began to gain the luster of silver and the shine of the brightest gems you could find.
◢Damn, after all these years, I finally look so goo-◢
Just as he was admiring his toned body in the mirror, a middle-aged woman walked into the elevator and looked at him with disgust, staying in the corner. She whispered, but Zhuge Lian could still hear her muttering under her breath. "Youth these days, so superficial and disgusting, constantly looking at themselves, even in the mirror of an elevator..."
Advertisement
All Zhuge Lian wanted to do was hide, but unfortunately... he lived on the 34th floor of his apartment building, and their elevator was notoriously slow. He had to sit through a full minute with the middle-aged lady constantly muttering about society's youth, and at the end, all he wanted to do was hide back in his room.
After a truly hallenging and embarrassing experience, the elevator doors finally opened, freeing Zhuge Lian from his painful existence inside the elevator. After not having been outside for so long, the brightness of the sky blinded his eyes. He had been immersed in his dark world of cultivation for so long that he had even forgotten the smell of fresh air. He took in his surroundings with a refreshed mind and began walking towards the MMA gym.
As he got closer and closer, he started to spot more and more martial artists on their morning run outside the gym. After some time, he managed to get a reasonably good understanding of the belt ranking and hierarchy of the gym. All the white belts ran together, and it was the same with the yellow belts, blue belts, brown belts, and black belts.
As Zhuge Lian continued walking to the MMA gym, his muscles began to tense up once again. Unknowingly, his frame began to bulk up as he clenched his arm and leg muscles. A pair of white belts started to stare and eventually nudged their master in the shoulder. Zhuge Lian only began to notice when a brown belt came up to him and asked: "Hey. You look strong. Do you want to join the Barbatos Gym as a member of my faction?" Zhuge Lian, excited, said, "Yes."
As he walked with the brown belt to the MMA gym, drawing some attention, he noticed already that half the blue and white belts were staring at him and his new teacher with hostility and some with downright rage.
◢Oh, sh*t.◢
Advertisement
- In Serial12 Chapters
Lizardventures
A girl dies from natural causes, but reincarnates as a baby lizard! - - - Inspired by Kumo Desu Ga Nani Ka? cause that series' goddamn amazing. Please let me know if I screw up on the grammar/tenses. I don't have much experience writing in first person present so please if you spot me swapping tenses point it out! Thank you! - - - Amazing fancover by FlauscheSoeckchen! Check 'em out here: https://www.deviantart.com/flauschesoeckchen
8 172 - In Serial10 Chapters
The Last to Fall
Two years ago, the end of the world came, and was turned aside by black and bitter sacrifice, Brandon Argovieso giving of himself in order to achieve victory. Only the barest traces of magic remain, a scant few survivors that know of the old, arcane ways, withering away as the world turns. But something is coming – nightmares of fire and ash haunt his sleep, the world burning away to an empty ruin. An investigation into a mysterious cult leads to the discovery of an ancient secret, something that shouldn’t exist. With the aid of the few allies he has remaining, he must seek the cause of this doom, and attempt to protect the world against a new and terrifying threat.
8 165 - In Serial12 Chapters
unexpected ; romeo beckham
love;an intense feeling of deep emotions-"I'm used to being alone, but now I'm more alone than ever."
8 228 - In Serial32 Chapters
King of Woe
Father died when I was young. Mother was sent away shortly afterwards. Grandfather's only involvement in my life was the beatings and cuttings and now even he lies entombed in the depths of Castle Black, my castle. Now I look over this putrid kingdom the old man allowed to rot and see a pathetic creature, wounded, weak. I need to feed it, nurture it back to health and when I look towards my neighbors I can't help but see fresh meat guarded behind stone walls.
8 183 - In Serial35 Chapters
Book of Suicide Poems
This is my way to say goodbye.Warning: the poems might be triggering. If you believe you cannot stand reading depression and sucide poems because you might be triggered, please, for your own good, don't.
8 183 - In Serial36 Chapters
Back together Hunter x Hunter (killugon)
What happened after Killua and Gon left each other?What happens if they run into each other?My plot, i don't own any of the characters, except maybe a few add ons.(BOOK is completed. There isn't really an ending)
8 63

