The sense of déjà vu that had seized Ariana upon crossing the border floated somewhere between intense discomfort and bitter longing. She was here, facing off with a familiar opponent and partner alike. Some of the enemy had chased cerid as he’d run off alone, but she and Shark would just have to trust him to take care of himself. They’d have their hands pretty full.

Petunia Kingfisher, Johanna Marley, and Namina Spline. Funny how they had to keep running into each other. This time, she wouldn’t waste energy on words or regrets. Her choice had been made long ago.

“No mercy,” she whispered to both herself and Shark, and they nodded, creating jagged spikes of earth to intercept an attack from Johanna. The tall wreckage of the magics meeting blocked both sides from the view of the other, so they waited, tense. If Shark tried to ferry them to a higher vantage point, Johanna would knock them from the sky. They were forced to regardless, however, as Namina’s Frostbite magic began to close in on them. When the expected jabs of ice flew towards them, Shark acted fast, securing Ariana to their side as they created branches from the pillar they were on to fly between or around the chilly spires.

“Here’s your chance, Ariana!” Shark yelled as they reached a point past the ice where they were above their enemies.

Enemies. Not a sister, not former schoolmates and friends. This was the only way it could be.

Balancing a thin block, she rushed towards them. One last blow from Johanna was crushed by packed soil from above, and Ariana’s sword met Petunia’s with the former at a higher vantage point. The force and velocity were so intense that the impact jarred up Ariana’s arms, and Petunia, her trembling legs just barely unable to support her against the pressure of the attack, fell onto her back. Ariana, so as not to go down with her, jumped off of her platform and straight onto the closeby Namina. Hands closed on her forearms in an attempt to incapacitate her, and she felt the sting of frostbite rushing up and down her arms, but she wrenched free and slashed Namina’s throat open with a quick swipe.

Johanna’s screech of rage and despair seemed to resound in waves throughout Ariana’s body as she rolled off of the corpse. Petunia had risen to her feet ready to fight, but hesitation and doubt sealed her fate. Her sword arm was half risen, but she dropped it to her side. Her eyes were bright with grief and anger, but her voice only reflected a broken feeling.

“Big sister,” she pleaded, words choking off as Ariana’s sword pierced her heart.

Because she owed her that much and because she wanted to believe that this would really end it and seal any regrets away, Ariana made sure to watch the life fade from her. She held her little sister close, fully absorbing the weight of her body going slack. Once the body went entirely limp, she snapped back into the real world, realizing she’d completely neglected to dispatch Johanna.

No need to worry. Shark had covered her, piercing Johanna through with dozens of spikes so that was suspended as streams of blood trickled from the instruments of her death.

Shark brushed off, looking to the left and then the right. They came towards her, and Ariana thought they would brush past her to go to Cerid, but they stopped in front of her. A hand came up to her cheek, and she saw a clear drop perched on the edge of Shark’s pointer finger when it came away.

Ariana almost laughed, but if she made a sound now, she’d start sobbing. In no way did she deserve to cry. She was supposed to feel nothing. Everything was decided, and she was secure in her choice. Right? Right?

“Ariana!” A voice called to her from deep in her memory, and, rushing, blending into one another as they did so, parts of her came back.

A baby’s fingers grasping hers. Her newborn sister. Such tiny nails, such a weak grip. The laugh was the most infectious, precious sound she’d ever heard.

Watching with a close eye as she crawled, took her first tottering steps. Anything there she could bump into and hurt herself on?

Petunia yelping, arms and legs flailing as Ariana yanked a comb through her hair, tiny blue curls floating to the floor.

How her giggles would give her place away during hide and seek, but Ariana would let her win anyways, feigning ignorance.

The woods, their favorite place. A brook surrounded by ample bird’s nests. The song they made together was perfect harmony, the sounds of the animals mingling with the constant rush and froth of water.

Sword training with Mother and Father. The sobs through gritted teeth as Petunia had to accustom herself to the bite of her magic piercing her hand.

Ariana dabbing a poultice of comfrey leaves on her little sister’s palm as she flinched away from the necessary prodding. Hoping that things wouldn’t come to infection, squeezing her free hand through Petunia’s sniffling if and when it did.

First school days, Petunia wailing about how they wouldn’t get to play anymore. Petunia learning what Ariana already knew: how cruel children could be when they were taught to hate mixed-bloods by their parents.

Being chased from the school grounds, magics biting at her heels.

Standing in front of her sister with her arms spread out to take each blow for her. All for her, only for her.

The first outsider to ever defend her. Namina Spline. She said it was only because Ariana had let her copy her homework, and this was the truth.

A tentative friendship. Petunia’s wariness of this apathetic girl who dealt in favors and being owed, but her quick acceptance once she noticed her elder sister relaxing and smiling more than usual.

Johanna Marley. Friends of friends could become friends too. For a brief time, peace.

The Wither tragedy, as it came to be known in Ghuria, and the execution of the Fall family. They were lined up, lemmings, and terminated one by one by a man with a sword and green hair. So this was what justice was.

Too many orphaned or halved, but the Kingfisher family remained whole. Father and Mother’s frowns outnumbered their smiles now.

Withdrawing from school, she and Petunia both. The bullying crossed a line. A scar on Petunia’s forehead, a jagged plum-colored line.

Namina stopped coming around. Her father, the mourning widower, wouldn’t let his daughter near people so suspect. Better safe than sorry. Johanna, orphaned, also vanished from their lives.

War. A teacher told her not to feel when she fought, so she didn’t feel at any time. What did it matter if she wasn’t wanted, if she was hated just for her nature, so long as three people were safe? Again and again, blood came to her hands. Again and again, she was assaulted by enemy and ally.

If she was to always be surrounded by enemies, why was she fighting for the losing side? Why should she lay down her life for Ghuria? As she wondered this aloud, her sister looked at her with fear for the first time.

The sting of it, the slap on her cheek as she suggested to her parents that it might be best to turn their backs from one land to support the inevitable winner.

Petunia’s borderline screams and sobs as Ariana had tried to convince her to leave everything behind. The younger sibling would defend her parents to her last breath, and she would prove her value. The value of all mixed-bloods. She just couldn’t see the pointlessness.

Stealing away that same night. The stars were aching, and the earth warped as she crossed the border into a territory just as filled with adversaries as the one she had left.

Iree Nobelis. A walking brand of fire, the consuming beacon of hope. To find the life she promised, Ariana was willing to follow her as deep and dark down as they needed to go.

The smile and laughter she had once been willing to do anything for… She’d lost sight of it. Why had such a world been created? She wanted to live so badly, but, no matter where she went or what she did, the suffering wouldn’t stop. These pictures wouldn’t stop playing.

They were dead at her feet. This was what she’d wanted, and this was going to be the story.

“Did I make the right choice?” she asked no one in particular.

Shark touched her shoulder, and she jumped away. They looked solemn and pitying, and she couldn’t muster the energy to be indignant about it like usual. “The sooner we get this done, the sooner you can get somewhere private to grieve. Come on. Just a little more.”

“I’m not…” she rasped. Not grieving? She wasn’t fooling anyone, not even herself anymore. But Shark was right; she had to keep it together. “I’ll follow Iree. You go help Cerid.”

“Right.” They paused. “If you feel like you didn’t make the right choice, then… Maybe you can try to take it back.”

Before she could rip into them for saying something so ridiculous, they’d rushed off. As if she had the right to apologize or regret anymore. There were some deeds a heart simply couldn’t turn back from.