Chetwin screamed, desperate and terrified. He couldn’t stop the momentum of the counter he’d been swinging. The wound bit into Cerid’s left shoulder and skidded down to meet his right hip. It was shallow enough not to kill him because Chetwin had reared back just enough, but he had a permanent reminder of his folly. From the moment itself, Cerid recalled hitting the hard straw mat, feeling its lines leave impressions on his skin, which became impossibly warm under a thin blanket of blood. He had no regrets. But was that really all? That was his ‘kindness?’

“I do not understand, Father. Such an incident would further cement that I was the incorrect choice, would it not have?”

Cinder’s smile was affectionate. As such open moments were rare, it made Cerid’s heart swell. “Not so. Your selflessness hurt you badly, Cerid, and your siblings all called you a fool. I thought about it for weeks afterward, though,” he reflected. “A man who can think of others even when he himself is in peril. Is that not the kind of leader Sacer deserves? Your performance on the actual field of battle was lacking, but you’ve made marked improvements as of late. The boy I saw fighting Chetwin that day had the potential to become a force to be reckoned with. I decided to have faith in your kindness and to do something to let you have faith in it too. You will make an excellent leader when the time comes. You’re putting the work in. You just need a little more effort in some respects.”

Cerid’s eyes stung. No matter what, there was always going to be this part of him that his father would never accept. Would he still say Cerid was kind and deserving if he knew? “Thank you, Father,” he whispered.

“I’ve always believed in you, Cerid.”

I am going to follow my heart. I have managed to cultivate that much daring. I am likely going to fall in love with Shark Olyen, and we are going to change the very fabric of this land.

He couldn’t say it. “I will endeavor to live up to that belief.”

“I know, and I thank you.” Cinder stood to grip Cerid’s shoulders. Coming from him, it was as good as a loving embrace. “Your next vital step is to enter into courtship with the intent of marriage. Your blood is vital, and I’m certain that your children will be kind and strong as well. That’s what we need for Sacer’s future.”

Kindness towards whom and for what purpose? How far would that kindness his father so lauded extend when Cerid began to call for reformation? Cerid had a feeling that it wouldn’t mean much when he tried to popularize kindness and acceptance towards those that society had decided to scorn already. “Yes, sir.”

“Thank you for taking everything in stride.” Cinder dropped his hands and gestured to the door. “I’ve kept you long enough. Your friends are waiting.” He paused. “Shark Olyen, is it?”

Cerid’s pulse skyrocketed. “Yes?”

“Remember your obligations, Cerid. Once you’ve married and produced children, you’re free to conduct whatever sort of business you like on the side so long as you keep it quiet. Until such a time, however, maintain discretion.”

It shouldn’t have been a surprise that his proclivities hadn’t escaped his father’s notice. “How long have you known?” Cerid croaked.

“Cerid. You try to be sly, but you only ever look at men.” Cinder smiled gently. “Because you’re my son and I love you, I’ll give you a final chance. Do you want to back down from your position and leave the family to live the life you choose, or do you want to remain as the family head and follow the rules this will require?”

Freedom. The offer filled him with a jubilation that threatened to rip him apart. He hungered for it, but his goals required power, and he’d never abandon Shark like that. “Father, I want to lead this family into a bright age. I shall not let you down.”

Cinder nodded. “That was a good answer.” He returned to his seat and flipped open a book as a sign of farewell. “And Cerid? I would advise that you attempt to be a bit more masculine. Your appearance is…”

Cerid trembled in the doorway. “Yes, Father.” It took effort to close the door behind him gently as opposed to slamming it like a petulant child. That would have been the only way for him to show defiance.

Before he took a step, Dorothea and Shark started to speak at the same time. “Are you…” They looked at each other, and she gestured for Shark to go first.

“Okay?” Shark asked.

“Alright?” Dorothea followed. “I mean, you’re obviously not… We should go, right? Anywhere that’s not here.” She reached out, hesitated, then squeezed his hand tightly, pulling him towards the stairs.

Shark didn’t touch him until they had gotten to Dorothea’s chosen destination, the Tamlin residence. Once they were locked into the bedroom Shark was borrowing, they put a hand on Cerid’s back and rubbed lightly. Silence spread as they gave Cerid time to process and think.

He hugged a pillow and murmured after several minutes, “Before you came here, Shark, I never realized how…” It was hard to find the words to describe his life until now. “How I was, I…”

“Take your time,” Shark murmured.

“I can leave if you want,” Dorothea offered.

Cerid shook his head. “It is alright. I did not realize that I was…shrivelling. I would have continued, without a doubt, on this road my father has set. Now that I am…awake, I… I have never been so scared. I have never had so much to lose, and even this, our ambition, is…” He gestured between himself and Shark. “Tenuous. My father, he knows very well of my… The conversation we had was a warning.”

“Bastard,” Shark muttered. “He doesn’t have the right to treat you like this. What the fuck is wrong with these people…”

“It’s all about making soldiers for future generations,” Dorothea stated. “I’ve gathered that. So is that why the two of you want to end the war first things first? Because it will erase that concern and make it easier to plead your case?”

“That is the basic idea, yes,” Cerid confirmed.

“Alright. Well, I…” She paused, looking off to the side in thought. Cerid looked to Shark so they could interpret the silent exchange she was having with herself, but for all of the intentness of their gaze, they also looked confused.

“Thea? Whatcha thinkin’?”

“I’ll help you.” She smiled. “If it’s for the two of you, I don’t mind fighting as much as I can.”

Shark grinned. “Thanks, Thea. That makes me feel better.”

Like them, Cerid was also inclined to accept her words at face value. If Shark had said something, he might have suspected that there was something off, but it seemed to be fine. He had a feeling of something possessing great magnitude coming towards them, and he wanted and needed to believe that everything would turn out okay. Now that he had come alive, he couldn’t let go no matter what it took.