Cerid shook himself; they were putting the cart far, far before the horse here. “But Commander Nobelis has already tried this. Nothing has changed.”

“It’ll be different with you. Not because of who you are, but because of your station. The shitty truth of it all is that, no matter how far up Iree gets, she’ll always be the daughter of traitors. I’m the same. I’ll always be the deserter kid whose family turned their backs on the Pantheon of Old. You, Cerid, are squeaky clean. You can play the game better than any of us can.”

Tempting as it was to jump for joy and promise a future filled with fluff and happiness, Cerid couldn’t. “I will have to think about this,” he said slowly. “It is not as simple as gaining power and having everyone bend to my will. Our present conflict acts far too powerful a deterrent to changing the status quo. As things are, we cannot afford internal turmoil. That is why, if I am to change this life we are in, we must first end the War of Wither. I do not want the ones who come after us to live the life we have been made to.”

Shark nodded. “That’s a beautiful goal, Cerid. Really. I’d like to help you realize it. If, uh, if you’ll have me.”

Cerid shook his head. “But you cannot. You will return to Sirpo with Miss Dorothea at the war’s conclusion. At that time, my work will only just have begun. And that is assuming I have the fortitude to follow through with what we are discussing.” Simply because he was feeling inspired right now, he knew, didn’t mean he would immediately stop being the same weak person.

Shark’s face fell. “True. Thea’ll probably need me more than ever when all this ends.”

“You have dedicated your life to her. Correct?” A hot, ripping feeling took root in Cerid’s chest. Possessiveness? Jealousy? Was there that strong a difference between the two?

“She’s precious to me, so I want to do whatever I can. I want to be there for her when…” They looked away. “When the time comes.”

Cerid had to wonder how it felt for Shark, being constantly pressed by the knowledge that they would outlive their friend. “How long do you expect she will have after the war ends?”

“I really don’t know. I’d always figured we’d be spinsters together and turn to dust on her porch swing at the same time. But I know better than that, always have.” They tried to smile, but it didn’t reach their eyes.

“I understand.” So, no matter the dream, they hadn’t the luxury of realizing it side by side. “Regardless, thank you. For however long it lasts, I will be glad to have you as my friend.”

“Hold up. For however long it lasts? You saying you’re terminating our friendship after we win the war?”

Cerid was caught off guard by the laughter in their voice. “Of course not, but—”

“Damn, Cerid. That’s cold. It’s not like I can’t visit. Also, I don’t live my life just for Dorothea. I’ll put her before others, sure, but I’m a little too greedy to deprive myself in the end. Get what I’m saying?”

“No I do not.”

Shark started to reach for Cerid’s hands but stopped. “I just… When I came here, I didn’t want to fight anymore or go back to a place where I wasn’t enough because of something I couldn’t change. That said, I think we can change things for the better, even if it’s just a little bit. I’m telling you that I really do wanna give all this a shot, Cerid. If we can manage even a fraction of what we’re talking about, I’ll be satisfied.”

“Truly? And you claim you are greedy.” Cerid frowned. “I will aspire for total victory if I am to take on this fight.”

“Point. It’s not something we can halfass.” Shark looked contemplative. “I’ll talk to Thea about all this and see what she thinks.”

“Will your opinions change if she is against it?” Words were tenuous, after all, and Shark’s actions were bound to be guided by Dorothea’s.

“She won’t be, because she’s not an asshat. Still, we’ve got some things to negotiate. I didn’t figure on meeting you here, and I haven’t even done what I really came to do yet.”

“And what is that?”

“It’s, uh…” Shark smiled that weak smile again. “I’ll tell you after it’s resolved. If it’s resolved.”

“Very well. Take care, though.” It seemed the mysterious task ahead wouldn’t be an easy one. Still, the conversation felt like it had reached a natural conclusion. Now they would wait.

Shark extended their hand abruptly. “So, Cerid. I know I was shitty for a little bit there, but can we start over?”

Smiling, Cerid took the hand Shark had extended. “Of course. I thank you. I will try my best.”

Shark laughed. “Thanks, buddy. I’m relieved, and happy.”

Cerid blushed, appreciative. “As am I.”

Shark sighed. “I, uh… I won’t say any more. I might get greedy.”

“We have already established several times that you are. Please, speak.”

They took a deep breath. “I like you. I don’t expect any sort of answer because your situation is so complicated. But I just wanted to say it. Er… But I’m happy to just—”

“Me, too!” Cerid blurted. “Or you, too…”

Shark’s face went blank. “Say what.”

“I would not have…” Cerid cleared his throat. “Ahem. I would not have kissed you otherwise, would I have?”

“Ah. Yeah, guess not.” Shark covered their mouth with their hand. “Sorry. Now I can’t stop smiling.”

Cerid couldn’t help but smile too. “I am at a loss now, I admit. What… What now?”

“It depends. You want to start going out, or do you want to stay as we are?”

Was he really here, considering this? Everything felt so warm and softly shining. But heavy too, weighed by reality. “Even if we did, I could not… We could not be open.”

“I know. That doesn’t bother me.”

“But… That is not fair to you.”

“That’s just how it is right now. If you’re willing, then I’m ready.” They nodded, determined, and smiled. “I’m ready anytime, Cerid.”

Just once. Just this once, he would seize the moment. He wouldn’t ask for anything else, no matter how hard things might be going ahead. “Okay,” he whispered. “So am I.”

Shark’s jaw went slack. “Really?”

“Yes. Yes. Yes.” He was so overwhelmed that it was all he could say.

“Okay.” Shark grinned and took Cerid’s face in their hands. Cerid gasped as they leaned forward quickly, and a quick kiss was brushed to his nose.

“That too much?”

“Whaaaaa?”

“Yeah, your face is super red.”

“Ahem! On the contrary, I am perfectly fine.”

Shark grinned. “Oh? Is that your way of asking for a bit more?” they teased.

“Uh. Um, I…” Cerid squeezed his eyes shut. “I do not know.” His first kiss had been wasted by a surprise attack on Shark followed by a fight. Circumstances were much improved, so a do-over was appropriate, was it not?

“So.” He felt Shark’s nose touching his. “You’re okay with this?”

Cerid nodded. He could feel their breath, so slight…

The bathroom door opened without ceremony. Cerid’s eyes flew open too, and he glanced sideways, heart skipping a beat in fear.

Dorothea squinted at them with bleary eyes. She looked as if she were about to fall over, and an extended silence slogged on as she stared at the two completely still people before her, lips almost touching.

“That’s fucking adorable,” she commented before immediately turning away and going back where she came from.

Reality kicked in. Cerid was alone and in a compromising position with someone he would never be allowed to be with. He let out an unearthly screech and leaped back, straight over the edge of the bathtub. The shower curtain came down with him, its rings disbanding with a wild tinkling of metal as he was enveloped in a cloud of fluttering fabric. This brought Hock and Holly Novak running.

“I’m excited to hear the story of how this all happened,” the latter commented as she tried not to laugh at Shark pulling a flailing Cerid to his feet.

“You shall be greatly disappointed, then, madam!” Cerid declared with as much righteous dignity as he could muster before sprinting out of the house. He was pursued by Shark, who stopped him briefly in the doorway.

“Don’t be scared. Thea won’t tell a soul,” they assured.

“Are you certain?” Cerid fumed. “Her statement mere moments ago seems to suggest she is more loose-lipped than you might think.”

“That’s just another one of Thea’s quirks. Hungry plus tired plus magic-drained equals delusional. For now, I’ll go back and take care of her.” They paused, taking their hand off Cerid’s shoulder. “See you.”

“Yes. Indeed. I bid you farewell.” Awkward, Cerid dipped his head and left.

Neither of their feelings would change by the morning; of that, he was now completely sure. Their ambitions, mission and future trials had undergone significant metamorphosis. If they were to live the life they wanted and make that life available for others, then no fight could be insurmountable. The only thing to do now was win the battle outside before turning within.