Cerid looked blankly shocked before his cheeks reddened. “I am sorry. What?”

“I’ve never known anyone who works as hard as you!” Cerid acknowledged his weaknesses and faced them head-on despite fear and shame. It took one heckuva guy to do that! “Damn, it’s just… You’re so strong.” And cute. Overall wonderful. A noble. Totally out of Shark’s reach. But that wasn’t what mattered right now. “So, I want to help if you’ll have me.”

Cerid frowned, confused. “How?”

“When you get confused, I’ll help you. If you look to me, I’ll let you know. If you ask me what’s going on, I’ll answer. Basically, I’ll just…” Shark shrugged. “I’ll be your background support. Yeah. It’s like, you don’t have to be afraid to ask questions if you’re confused. Like how Iree and Rhys help you with combat training. I’ll help you with your people training!”

He was hesitant. “I do not want to be a waste of time, or a burden.”

Shark smiled gently. “Trust me. You could never be.”

Cerid’s breath caught, and he coughed to cover it. “I have a long way to go. Are you certain?”

“Of course!” Why not in whatever time they had left together, before the war came to an end? The end… Huh. Interesting thought. “So, Cerid. What are you working towards? I know you’ve got the family head thing and all, but what else? What do you want?”

“I…” Cerid looked at the floor. “I only wish to properly fulfill my duties as the head of the Creed family.”

No way that was true, but Shark didn’t know how to push him or if it was wise to do so. “Cool, I guess. So… Play me a song?”

Cerid looked at his flute as if it were entirely foreign to him. “Er, what?”

“Yeah, play me a happy song! We all need some good vibes especially now, don’t we?”

“Ah. Yes, that is true.” Cerid’s smile was pleasant and charming. “Then, to thank you for your kindness, I will oblige.”

Oof. Yeah, Shark liked him. He was difficult to understand and could say a lot of words without actually seeming to say a thing, but he was sweet and Shark loved that he wore his heart on his sleeve. It made him vulnerable, and that was concerning, but it was also something to be appreciated. He was beautiful, strong, honest and determined to boot.

They watched, heart thumping, as Cerid took a breath from deep in his stomach and held his body straight, keeping his core tight to hold air for use. His eyes were heavily lidded, downcast in thought, as he fixed the mouthpiece to brush his bottom lip, blowing air across the hole there rather than into it like Shark would have assumed. He looked calm and natural, as if the instrument were an extension of himself.

There was a long pause after he played the first couple of notes as he hesitated before continuing in a steady flow. In an instant, Shark realized the sounds twirling around them weren’t rehearsed at all and that Cerid was playing a completely improvised song. He’d meant what he said; he was thanking Shark with a melody specific to the moment in time they had shared. It made Shark feel vain, but they were beyond pleased to have something just for the two of them.

The melody was a quiet, thoughtful thing, calming yet stirring. Shark felt their blood shifting along with the changes in volume and pitch, and they closed their eyes to sink into the irresistible tugging sway. Strangely enough, they could almost hear words wrapping around them. Words they and Cerid could never say, conveyed in song.

So deep was the trance that, when the final note had sounded, their eyes remained closed for a while after, anticipating more. When the stretch of silence became uncomfortably long, their eyes popped open with a jolt.

“Oh, geez. You hypnotized me,” Shark laughed.

Cerid’s face was red from his cheeks to his ears. “I see.” He went about dismantling the flute and tucking it away. “That is better than the alternative, I suppose. I thought I might have put you to sleep.”

“That’d be good too. The power to put anyone to sleep whenever you wanted.”

Cerid pondered this seriously. “I would have several people sleep for a long time,” he concluded.

“Wow, that’s actually kind of scary.” Shark grinned. “But, really, that was beautiful. Thanks, Cerid.”

“Thank you as well. You were a properly attentive audience member.”

Shark smiled at his endearing natural formality but was disappointed by it too. Maybe they were expecting too much, thinking that the song was more special than it was. “So… Where’d you learn that song from?” they asked, fishing.

“I did not learn it in the traditional sense. It went from here, to here, to here.” He pointed to his head, his heart, and finally his lips, the last of which Shark took the opportunity to look at for just a tiny bit longer than they needed to. “Or did it start here…?” he murmured to himself, poking at his chest. “And then go… No. But maybe…? No, no. Regardless, it took much practice to get to the point where I was capable of composing in my head and have the results be somewhat competent.”

“You could be a musician, Cerid. Seriously.”

Cerid’s eyes turned to slits. “That is impossible,” he scoffed.

Maybe the trick to Cerid was to not be put off at first by these shows of derision and anger but to dig deeper into them instead. “What do you mean it’s impossible?”

He seemed surprised. “Oh, well… Is it not obvious? Playing music for the rest of my life sounds wonderful, but it is not something I have the right to want.”

Shark sighed. “You sound like Thea. I don’t deserve this or that because of this or that reason, blah blah blah. Please. I’m not perfect and I’ve got a million things I want.”

“And what are those?”

“A house with a HUGE garden, longer hair, a coat with a white fur collar, an entire homemade pie all to myself, better handwriting, an explanation for the state of my teeth, tap dancing shoes, a fluffy blanket, a—”

“I understand,” Cerid interrupted, “and I have several questions.”

“Ask away, buddy.”

He crossed his arms and frowned. “What makes someone worthy of having desires, then?”

“It’s not a question of whether you should or shouldn’t have them, it’s just a question of what you want and if you’re able to get it. You know, within reason.”

“What if the desires are outside of reason, then? What if one’s desires conflict with the needs of others?”

“I guess, like… Fulfill everyone’s desires then.”

Cerid looked more frustrated and confused than ever. “But what if that is not possible?”

“Then suck it up and choose. Being indecisive won’t help either side.” Shark shook their head. “Let’s just be real, okay? I don’t claim to fully know what’s weighing on you, but I guarantee that picking something to work for and giving your all for it will make you feel better.”

“Have you been in that position?”

“Of course I have. I gave my all in running away from Sacer, you know, and I’m giving my all in trying to protect what I found in doing that now that I’m back down here. I can’t afford to fail.”

Cerid nodded slowly. “Neither can I.”

“Then that’s all you need, right?”

“Maybe.” He looked somewhat less distressed than before. For now, Shark would count that as a win. “Thank you, Shark. For your patience. I consider it something I am endlessly lucky to have received.” He met Shark’s eyes for a moment before looking down again and murmuring, “You are special.”

Shark’s heart somersaulted. They tried to respond, but their chest and throat were too tight. Words they couldn’t say, wanted to say. Things that were presumptuous and unsure, things that were true. They edged closer, closer, until their knees were touching Cerid’s, the two of them facing one another.

“Cerid,” they finally managed, voice oddly croaky, hands coming up to grasp his upper arms.

He frowned, concerned. “Are you alright?”

Shark closed their eyes, took a deep breath, exhaled slowly. This was wrong. Don’t push him. Be his friend. That was more than enough. They opened their mouth to reply, say that nothing was wrong, sorry to make him worry, they were just being weird.

Soft lips brushed theirs, and words died.

It was only able to last for a moment. Shark’s eyes popped open in shock, and as they gasped, Cerid tore back with saucer-like eyes of his own.

“I, I, that is, I just, only…” He covered his mouth with his hands. “Oh Gods. I am sorry. I am so, so sorry. This is wrong, it is wrong.”

Shark’s mind was reeling, and they didn’t know what to say or where to even start. “Cerid, it’s fine. I promise.” They swallowed hard and dared to venture now that Cerid himself had been the one to blow past the barrier. “You’re not straight. It’s okay. There’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I was ashamed too, but I realized that was only because of other people telling me I was supposed to be. Once I left Sacer, I found the space in my head and heart to embrace myself.” They took Cerid’s hand in a firm grip. “You can too.”

Cerid stared at them, and hurt and anger and confusion and despair and everything in-between crossed his face before he leapt to his feet, stepping back and wrapping his arms around himself. “I cannot…!” He sounded close to tears. “Do you believe that I could so callously abandon my duty? I have to marry a woman, Shark! I have to bear children! I am the next head of the Creed family and am bound to protect all of Sacer with every part of myself, with the entirety of my life! It has never been as simple as turning my back! If, if you intend to trivialize my position in light of the luxury of the choice you made for yourself, then GET OUT!”

There were people like Dorothea everywhere, Shark thought suddenly. People who felt tied in chains due to circumstances beyond them. Shark, who had broken free of those chains without regard to those who were left behind, couldn’t understand those who bowed to what caused them such grief. There was always a choice, no matter how destructive that choice was. Did Cerid have a point, though? Was it too self-centered to dismiss the concerns of others simply by saying they had the choice to act differently?

Cerid was taking his anger out on Shark now, but they didn’t feel anything but pity and a deep, empathetic grief.

So they said as they went to the door in compliance with Cerid’s demand, “I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, and I’m sorry I did. If it’s okay with you, I’d appreciate the chance to talk about this later.” They paused. Cerid’s back was to them. His shoulders hunched and shaking. “Cerid. I… I’m always here.”

There was nothing more they could say.