so imma gush for a bit here, if you don't want to read that then scroll down. this is mostly gonna be just feels and all that happy, fluffy bullshit anyway....

so here we are. one month in, and already 999 followers......... i have no idea if thats really good or just kinda "Meh..." but it seems fucking awesome to me, and thats all that really matters right?

how to put how much this means to me into words............ hmmmm...... oh i know AaronDragon's writing backstory!!!

so i was that kid who grew up an only child. to combat loneliness i read stories obsessively and imagined stuff. simple right? well it didn't stay that way long.

i would imagine whole worlds filling them with characters and details, i learned the art of building worlds from all the reading i did, and still do. then when i was bored of that world or just finished it entirely i would make a new one. Sci-fi, Fantasy, dystiopian, utopian, realistic, i would make all sorts of worlds. then in a fit of chuunibyou i made myself into a hero in them all. always the same character though, and i linked all the worlds together so that this imagined hero version of me could travel to any one i wanted at any particular time.

then i got bored of being a hero and decided to become a villain in my worlds. then shit got to way too dark for one nine year old kid's imagination to be and still be mentally fit to join society. i blame my parents whose policy was "rated R? well it is sci-fi...... our 4 year old will probably be fine if we watch it together with him....." i had seen shit no kid should've at a really young age. heads exploding and multiple tits on a chick was all in just one movie: the original Total Recall

needless to say, i got feed up with always being the bad guy in my own head. so i decided to make my character in my worlds become the hero haunted by his past villainy...... then switched back to evil again.... then good.... then evil.... then good....

by ten i had adapted the policy of not putting a label on things and just did whatever i wanted at any time in my own mind.

so i grew and focused more on reading cuz "Imagining stuff is uncool, Gaaah! how do you not know that?"

that lasted about a year..... dumb preteen wannabe-hipster faze......

at twelve i decided i wanted to write my own stories, i mean i DID have a gazillion in my head already, why not put one on paper?

i also had the genius idea to show the first 30 pages or so to anyone i thought would want to see it. well my friends were cool about it, they even put up with my hour long rants about the story and what i wanted to do with it, or how the plot would go. some even offered to help and pitched me character ideas. i remember that one kid (Whose name escapes me at the moment) offered to draw a cover for it. it wouldnt be a GOOD cover, cuz she was like twelve, but it touched me none the less.

then i showed what i had wrote to my english teacher, cuz who else is a twelve year old gonna go to for advice about writting?

well he sat me down and explained everything that was wrong with what i wrote. it wasn't constructive criticisms either. the words "Utter crap" and "trash" were used multiple times.

needless to say THAT little dream died for a good long while after that little "talk"

i tried picking up writing again with Fall From Grace when i was 15 and had started high school, but fear about no one liking or accepting my story had me stop writing it at chapter 4.

fast-forward to senor year where my love of Light novels had lead me to discovering web novels.... i found the site RoyalRoadl....

after spending a few months just reading, without even making an account let alone posting anything, i figured "What the hell? i just read something that was basically Engrish from google translate and ENJOYED it for its story..... i can do better than that so why aren't i?"

i found the old start of Fall From Grace, edited it up a bit, changed some names to avoid the cringe factor of seeing your own name in a novel you wrote yourself, and posted it.

unfortunately, F.F.G was a story that only really makes sense inside my own head where i know how everything works in its universe without having to explain it. and i was also writing a story that my mind had already worked on for 4 years from its beginning. OH and i overcompensated for a lot of issues that weren't really problems.... then there was my poll problem.....

Needless to say F.F.G wasn't very successful, but i will always love it for giving me the courage to write again.

one day i was bored and kinda avoiding writing F.F.G when i decided maybe a side project would be the right direction to go for a while. just to help me improve my writing, and have some fun writing something instead of forcing myself to write a story i was already so far ahead in compared to what i was writing for it.

i came up with 3 options and since i was fond of the idea of all of them, i let the few people still answering F.F.G's polls decide.

check it out, its true: http://royalroadl.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=59788

i voted myself as well.

how messed up is it to think that if just three people had voted differently Black Blood wouldnt exist?

and now i'm a month in and have written 23 chapters 9 side stories, and like 4 bonuses...... thats pretty good if i say so myself!

and now to vent, and say what i couldn't 7 years ago:

well random people on the internet like what i write, they like it a LOT!!!! So Fuck you mr. Thomson (i apologise to any Mr. Thomosons that did not teach at Bedew montisory school in the mid 2000's. i didn't mean you) I AM A GOOD WRITER!!! so you can go die in a fucking ditch alone cocksucker!!!! man i hated having that fucking asshole as a teacher!!!!

Sally i hated that man so much............

anyway, thats enough of that. got a bit TOO personal for me there for a bit, but hey thats why this is such an important thing to me.......

Love you guys lots for reading!!!

here be your bonus chapter ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!

Tessa Tepestia: Heir to the kingdom of Narthgale, the prodigy child, “Weird One”, “Lizote’s Failure”, the “Loved Mistake”

I’ve always been a little scared of people, especially children my age.

As a Tepestia, I matured far faster mentally than a normal Vampeerus would. Seeing the memories, thoughts, and desires of those around me, and taking those things into myself. There was no way I couldn’t. The fact that my powers were stronger than most others and could usually break through mental shielding without me even noticing meant I saw MUCH more than a Tepestia should, at my age.

I was also able to see into the minds of the Tepestia house as well, and I think what I found in them is why I’m so afraid of people.

The children never even tried to shield themselves or their minds, so every play date I knew all that they were, all they thought, and how little they felt. They were like empty shells when it came to compassion or empathy, but they seemed to find joy in the pain and suffering of others. Even when they felt it as their own, in fact MORE so when they felt it through their powers.

I had once spent an entire play-date with a girl who showed me how she liked to torture a kitten with nightmares. When I tried to stop her, she just gave me the confused look that all Tepestia except Mommy always did. She killed the kitten's mind while I tried to keep it safe in my arms.

Whenever I tell Mommy about it, she just says that we have to be patient with them, and they would be taught not to do things like that when they become older. They would be taught that it was wrong and not something that should be fun.

The adult Tepestia aren’t much better though, they just refrain from acting out that cruelty. It’s still there though, in their minds. Some even imagine what they would do in detail instead of doing it.

Mommy says that is just how all Tepestia are now. That only she and I are how our house once was, the only normal ones left. When I was just two decades old and I started to learn how to control my powers slightly, I learned that what mommy said wasn’t quite true.

Mommy wasn’t normal. Her mind was usually an impenetrable fortress, strong, unwavering, letting in only that she wanted to, and protecting her from everything she didn’t….. Most of the time. Sometimes the fortress would have cracks or waver slightly, small things that revealed nothing of her mind really and I thought were normal, that is until I saw the fortress fall one day.

It was when the other Tepestia house, the bad one mommy never talked about, sent an envoy to talk. She said something to Mommy “why do you still coddle the testament to your failures? Does treating her like she was a child you wanted instead of a mistake make you feel better? The Ancestor was sure you would’ve killed her on your own by now, perhaps she should’ve done that for you as well just like the father?”, and Mommy’s mental fortress broke down.

I felt her reach out to me and let her inside my mind, she seemed like she needed me to, but I also got a glimpse into hers.

She was talking to Auntie Natasha about having children again, then everything in her mind went dark. Everything came back, but that darkness was still around the edges of everything. She walked away from Auntie Natasha after quickly ending their conversation. She found a male prostitute in a pleasure-house outside her palace.

She entered a room.

She took off her clothes and his.

She lied down on the bed.

She watched as he entered her.

She moved her hips back and forth, while he thrusted inside her.

He came inside her, but she didn’t stop. She didn’t even seem to notice.

They continued like that for hours.

The darkness finally faded away, and everything was normal again. Mommy screamed and cried. She destroyed all the furniture in the room then curled up in a corner of the room and just sobbed. The man tried to comfort her, to ask what was wrong, but Mommy just screamed at him to “LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!! DON’T YOU SEE YOU’VE DONE ENOUGH!?!?!?!?!?! You’ve done enough…. Just go. I never want to see you again!” and moved away from him.

As he was leaving the room, everything faded a bit and the darkness was back.

Mommy grabbed the man by the neck, and slowly pushed into his mind. His eyes went wide, shook, teared up, and then went flat. Mommy twisted his neck until there was a big snap and further until she felt more than heard a loud crunch. She dropped the man, and the darkness seemed to go away completely.

Mommy just looked at the man’s body, made a loud sob, and ran out of the room.

Everything shifted, and I saw that I, no, not me Mommy. Mommy was crying into Auntie Natasha’s chest as Auntie held her in a tight hug. Mommy kept saying she was Sorry, and that she was a failure just like in the past, but Auntie Natasha stopped her. “Liz, listen. YOU didn’t do anything wrong, that thing that gave birth to you did. I know you weren’t in control, just like when we reunited in the old days after we went out on our own and you tried to kill me the first night in my sleep. It wasn’t YOU, it was HER. It can’t ever be your fault if SHE is the one in control, ok? You just need to find the rest of the shit she has hidden in your mind, or if not at least their triggers, and remove them. I’ll be here to help you, and I’ll never let our moral compass turn out like HER. I swear it on my name and soul. I also swear that we’ll have our first children marry each other. This way we can still be a family together, and it’s not like we have to stop trying to have a child together is it?” Mommy looked up at Auntie Natasha and told her she loved her and only her. She said she would, and would love no others the same way, the romantic way, until the end of time itself. She swore it on her name and soul.

Everything shifted again, and I was suddenly looking down at me on the day I was born. I recognized it from the memories of the midwife who later served as my early babysitter and guard. Mommy was so sad, but she was also a little happy. I felt so much hope from her as she looked at me.

“I’ll love you forever my little Tessa, whether I planned this or not you are my child, my first child, and I’ll raise and protect you the way a good mother should. I’ll never let you suffer like I had to, and I’ll never let HER even near you, let alone touch your mind. Don’t worry Tessa, you’ll be safe with me. You’re the only Tepestia to ever be born untainted by Mother, and I will never let that change. I swear it on my name and soul.” (Lizote)

I was pulled back inside myself as Mommy’s fortress came back up. It wasn’t quite as strong and sturdy as it was before, but it was getting stronger by the moment.

Mommy sent the envoy away, and never allowed another to return.

Things like that are the reason that I’m afraid of people.

One day, Mommy said we were going to visit Auntie Natasha again, but this time I would meet her adoptive son and my future husband. I was confused since every time we’ve visited Auntie Natasha, her hatred, disgust, and general contempt for all men seemed stronger. Why then would she adopt a son? I always thought I would marry her daughter, if she ever decided to cave in and let Mommy win the bet they had made, something about Natasha being more excited to join our family in the only way left and how she would need to wear something called “bondage gear” for mommy for an week if she had a child within the millennium, that is.

I was even more surprised when Mommy spent the whole trip telling me what Auntie Natasha had written to her about this boy Altorus. Apparently he was only six so I would be meeting a newborn, but the way Mommy talked about what Auntie sent us made him seem older.

When I actually met Altorus for the first time I was Shocked.

He was beautiful, he looked to be about half a century to a whole century old, his thoughts were complex and intelligent, and he almost immediately put up a near flawless mental shield that was able to block me out of his mind. He was more mentally mature than a child that age should be, like I was, but it took me a decade and a half to reach the mental maturity of a Vampeerus that was at least half a century old. He was only six, and he looked to be around my age of 87 and his mind seemed to be even MORE mature then mine was now, well what I picked up of his interests and desires were at least….

All that was surprising, but what I picked up from Auntie Natasha’s mind made me hide behind Mommy. This was not like the mind I knew from Auntie. She had always had a strange mind, hers didn’t hide things from her like everyone else’s did. There were some things that she willingly pushed back and were forgotten, but her mind still held onto those things, she just didn’t know they were there anymore.

Normally Auntie Natasha’s mind was filled with darkness, violence, and a desire to both rule and destroy. It used to scare me a lot before I got used to it, and understood that Auntie wouldn’t hurt me, that she loved me like a daughter even. It helped that whenever she saw Mommy, Auntie’s mind was filled with nothing but love, affection, and concern for Mommy. Mommy had always been the most important person for Auntie, I was next, and then there were a few servants she had. That was all that there ever was.

That’s how it had always been before, but now that wasn’t the case.

Right now there was another person who she loved, loved even more than Mommy. It was strange, and a little scary, because it was like her mind had known who this Altorus was forever, and had been rejecting all other men, and eventually resenting and hating them all because they weren’t him. She didn’t even seem aware of it, and since Mommy had sworn to never read her mind without permission, I was probably the only one who knew. When she looked at Altorus she saw him as he is, but her mind made an image of some other man, a HUMAN man. That image seemed to be fading away even now, being slowly replaced with how Altorus actually looks, but the level of feelings she had for that image, and further in Altorus himself, were as steady as they were powerful. She loved him with a passion that was a level above what she feels for Mommy, and it doesn’t make sense. He has only been ALIVE for six years, she couldn’t feel as deeply as she does for him, there just hasn’t been enough time for that level of feeling to develop in her yet. Regardless she does and it’s scary.

They’ve been talking for a while now, but I’ve been so focused on Auntie Natasha’s mind I didn’t really know what was being said. I came back to myself when I felt Aunties happiness turn to panic and fear, just before it disappeared.

I looked around a little to reorient myself, I was far from mastering the control of my powers, that would take me centuries of experiences to gain regardless of how much I used them or how mature I was. Even now I can only really ignore the minds of people around me, and sometimes stray thoughts still slip in, erase things that I take in I don’t like or want, and protect my own mind. Coming out of someone’s mind still confused and disoriented me for now, but Mommy said that with how much I’ve been improving that should be fixed in a decade or so.

Mommy wanted to talk with Altorus, and I could feel both shock and a bit of fear leak past his shield.

Mommy had finished her conversation with Altorus, I don’t know what it was about though. I was too busy trying to figure out and being fascinated with Altorus’ mind. He was unique in the way his mind worked, in a different way than even Mommy and Auntie Natasha. Even his mental shield was fascinating.

All mental shields take on the image of what their owner finds the most able to protect itself. Mommy’s was a fortress, Natasha’s was a dungeon with an active dungeon core, and mine was a turtle-drake…. But Altorus’ was something…. I didn’t understand at all.

His took on an image I had never seen before, and didn’t really make sense. It was a big metal thing with an almost flat round front attached to a thin cylinder body that had two attached straight wing things coming out of its sides and pointing diagonally up. It was floating in an endless expanse of the night sky, and had a shimmering blue field, one that looked a lot like a mana shield, wrapped in an oval like sphere around it. How is this thing supposed to protect itself? Mana shields break all the time, and are easy enough to penetrate most times, so that is probably not something he would use right? And what does U.S.S. ENTERPRISE mean? Is that a new type of magic?

I didn’t understand it or him, and I wanted to. I mean I was supposed to marry this boy soon, so I should know all about my husband right? How else would I know what to buy him to make him happy again when he threw one of those tantrums that men always do? Did he even like make up or chocolates, he didn’t seem to use powder….

Being a wife is going to be really hard isn’t it? Well I’ll just be the best wife I can! I’ll do my duties as queen, leading the kingdom, AND protect my husband. He can even take care of our kids while I’m off seeing to my kingdom! Huh, Maybe this won’t be so bad after all………

I looked up from my place on the bed. I had thought that I was sitting in Mommy’s lap, but I must have moved myself at some point. That happens sometimes when I’m thinking about something, I’ll do something then put it out of my mind so I can focus on whatever I was thinking of before doing whatever it was. Mommy says that’s normal for someone who thinks as deeply about things as I do, and that she knew people in the past who did that too. She said they all went on to do great things, so maybe I will too someday.

Looking around the room I saw that Altorus wasn’t there anymore. I could still feel his mind faintly, but it was moving farther and farther away.

“Isn’t this great Tessa! You’re gonna have a little sister soon!” (Mommy)

…………… Huh?

I’ve been temporarily enrolled in a school near Auntie Natasha's palace for the time Mommy and I stay here, but I don’t really like it. The kids there are all nicer than the Tepestia kids at my old school, but they aren’t nearly as mature. They all keep trying to talk to me, even though I keep telling them I don’t like to talk…. I don’t think they really listen to me though. Maybe if I could be less shy and be more like Mommy around people this woundn't be so bad.

Oh and another thing that’s been bugging me is some of them keep imagining Altorus, and wondering when he’ll come back to school or if he would even come to this school. It took me a while to figure out it was Altorus because they only ever thought of him as “that kid who smelled good” or “Tasty” which was weird. Maybe Altorus hasn’t come back because he found out his nick-name was Tasty? I know I wouldn’t like that to be MY nickname…

When I wasn’t in school, I liked to follow Altorus around and watch him practice alchemy mixing with Mommy.

He was a really interesting person. He didn’t even seem to mind me following him around that much. Even when he found where I was hiding from his sight behind a corner and I blushed and ran away from him in embarrassment, he just thought “Awwwwn! That’s cute, she’s really shy though…… who hides around a corner but sticks out their entire head? Kids in this world need some quality stealth games, even Assassins Creed could work in this pinch, hide and seek doesn’t seem to be working for them………..” and giggled.

He also seemed to be getting more used to maintaining his mental shield, he did so unconsciously all the time and never seemed to go away. It was a lot like the advanced shields that Tepestia, and Auntie Natasha after Mommy taught her, use. The image it took was clearer now too, and if I wasn’t careful it would move around really fast and shot fast glowing green things or reddish beams of light at any mental probe I sent into his mind. It gave me a little headache whenever he destroyed one of my probes, but I felt it was worth it. I was learning so much more about him after all.

Not enough to actually talk to him yet, but still…… maybe in a decade though? Yeah in a few years I should be able to be comfortable enough around him to be friends, and after that………… I wonder if I still have to propose to him if we are already engaged? Men seem to like being proposed to in grand ways, but Altorus doesn’t seem to think like most men. He almost thinks like a girl, except those times in the morning he yells in his mind about being a man and how manly he is. I wish he would be a bit more considerate, even if he doesn’t know I’ve been learning about him from his mind. I’m trying to make our future marriage perfect, but I can’t do that if he keeps giving these mixed signals…..

Another thing that was strange was his relationship with Mommy. He thought she was pretty, smart, and somehow scary. Whenever they were together Altorus’ fear and anxiety periodically projected past his strange shield to where I could feel it. It made Mommy sad whenever she felt it, and she kept trying to prove that she wasn’t scary or bad to Altorus, but nothing seemed to work for more than a day or so.

Then one day, he just didn’t. He and Mommy were acting like they had been friends forever, and he was calm, even happy when they were together. Because I was confused, I asked Mommy about why that was and she just told me “Alty and I came to an understanding, darling. I always knew he wouldn’t let himself ever trust me if we didn’t, and there was only one way to lay those doubts he had to rest permanently. Besides, I got something nice out of it as well. Now my little loving family has REALLY grown by another person, and it’s not just pretend this time. And maybe he can even help me find a way to deal with…………… Oh, umm, so yes little Tessa we fixed everything that was between us.” I couldn’t be sure, but I think Mommy was going to say she wanted Altorus’ help with her mind-darkness.

But how can Altorus help you Mommy? He is only a child regardless of how smart and mature he is….. And he doesn’t even know about the mind-darkness, and what it does to you. You don’t even know everything. It won’t let you. Whenever a big crack in your fortress appears if I ever see a little and I tell you that I see it, you just forget about it after I finish talking. How can anyone help you with something like that Mommy? Just leave it alone so you can forget it’s there and the fortress can heal itself……

I continued like that, going to school and learning about Altorus when I was in the palace, for about half a year. Then came the day that my routine changed, and I know my visit to Auntie Natasha’s kingdom was over.

“Princess Tessa, you need to come with us to the safe house. The palace has been found to be unsafe.” (Elite guard)

I nodded and followed the guards. There were a lot here, and I couldn’t get a good count because they kept shifting around and blocking me off from the surroundings. I stopped trying to distract myself by trying to count them and just let my mind wonder.

I hope everything is ok at the palace. I wonder when I can come back to visit Auntie Natasha and Altorus again?

so yep thats the Tessa Bonus chapter. also about last posts poll, it was mainly to see what you guys thought of the idea, i wasnt actually planing to do that. those two informational posts were to basically just explain the races, guilds, currancy, and the size of the world. all things that almost every charactor already knows and would be tedieus to work a full explaination of them all in any character's POV. so a made those so that you had all the informationSOMEWHERE and weren't like "WTF!!! i thought that they only had gold coins!" or "how can 'such 'n such character' be like this if they reincarnated 'after' or 'before' 'something'" or "why the fuck are all dwarves either shotas or lolis? is this like the Authors fetish or something?" it was just easier to make those two posts than deal with that type of stuff later on......

anyway i guess i could give a tip or hint at the end of every chapter to torture....... er...... make you guys think and theorize, all for my own amusement. i never said torture.....

let me know if you want that in the comments.

Also shout out to Rikeri who has been on point with damn near every theory. almost scarily so...... like you know what i'm thinking of when i write this....... if you figure out all who TAI/Taia reincarnates as even though ive only hinted at two of them in this and both pet chapters in the most casual ways......... then i'll know for sure you're reading my mind... no one should be able to put that together yet.........

anyway shout out to those three people who messaged me about cover art! hope you read this far, and i cant wait to see what you guys make!!!!

oh and i GOT to set aside a week eventually to edit the frst ten chapters up to my curant standered..... maybe after Ark 2 is finished.......... Hmmm........

and i think that's all..... FOR NOW!!!

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LOVE YOU GUYS FOR REAL!!!!!!!! (no homo though..... not that i have anything against homosexuality, its just not for me....)

Author OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!