Aquatic Life

Xander woke up with a stiff fright. His ears naturally picked up the ringing of his alarm clock, and his nose dreaded the stench of his room, but before he could feel disgusted over the pigsty he lived in, his entire body flared with acute, pulsing agony. The intense pain was alive and crawling all over him, like fire ants biting every square inch under his skin. Xander’s muscles tensed on the seaweed green sofa as he tried to focus his mind on compartmentalizing the miserable torment. It took Xander nearly three minutes to settle his acute suffering enough to take deep and satisfying breaths. Only then did he notice he wasn’t in his room.

‘Huh… Guess I didn’t die,’ he thought as he looked around the apartment.

Daylight was streaming through the curtained window and the injured Xander was lying on a leather sofa, half-naked. Many bandages covered the cuts on his purplish-black, sickly green, and putrid yellowing body, and felt a warm, thin film of greasy sweat over his skin. From his vantage point, the teen could see Giles in the kitchen. The watcher’s back was to him, but he could see the Englishman leaning over to read a book while his hands were preparing some sort of concoction. His nostrils suddenly felt assaulted by the powerful smell stemming from there, which was surprising as his nose and face felt congested and heavy.

With a stuffy nose, the aching and listless teenager groaned, “Is that tea you’re making? Cuz it smells like the moldy tires hobos use to go number two in.”

Looking up from the text, Giles kindly voiced, “I see you haven’t lost your colorful wit.” He put the last ingredient in the pot before wiping his hands with a towel and asking, “How are you feeling?”

Sitting up, Xander winced at the sharp sting of pain running up his spine and aggravating his throbbing headache. With a groan, he slowly voiced, “Like I went twenty rounds with Mike Tyson, then got thrown into oncoming traffic.”

Walking over to Xander to look him over, Giles remarked, “It’s a miracle you’re not dead.”

“The way I’m feeling, give it time,” the beaten teen assured him, once again, trying to compartmentalize the pain.

Giles looked down and noted, “I noticed you’re still holding the axe.”

“Mnn?” Xander curiously hummed before looking down and realizing he had been holding his battle axe. It felt so natural, so a part of him that his fingers held on like his shoulder held on to his arm, or his neck held on to his head. “Uuuuh, yeah,” he confusedly agreed, wondering why Dreadnought felt so perfect for him. “Weird, but holding on feels better than letting it go.”

“I suspect it must be assisting you,” Giles hypothesized. With a curious brow, Xander eyed the watcher as he explained, “When you lost consciousness, Buffy was the only one strong enough to pry the axe from your grip and you immediately convulsed afterward. I came to the conclusion that the enchantments in your weapon were assisting your healing. As best Willow and I could detect, aside from gravitating to you upon command, it would appear it can increase your healing capabilities by a fair margin. As we speak, you’re likely healing twice as fast as normal humans.”

It was the first time Xander forgot his body’s screaming pain. His eyebrows raised and a small grin stretched his lips before he asked, “Really?”

Xander wanted to scream like a little kid gifted with all the comic books in the world, but held it in as Giles hastily warned, “You aren’t invulnerable by any means, and clearly, healing takes time, however, if not for your axe, you may have bled internally and died.”

“Woooooow,” Xander howled when he realized this would help keep him from looping back so easily. He yelled to the sky above, “Thank God!”

Giles nodded sporadically as he agreed, stating, “Your weapon-making ability is quite impressive.”

Xander turned to the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs from the only bedroom in the apartment and saw Buffy and Willow. His redheaded best friend was the first to rush over and hug him, making him wince as the spider web of pain flared throughout his body. Immediately remorseful, Willow instantly pulled away and repeatedly apologized.

“Sorry! Sorry! I’m so sorry!” she rapidly-fired. Xander held back the worst of it and nodded, then hugged her with one arm to show her he was fine-ish. When they pulled apart, the concerned girl asked, “How are you feeling? How’s the pain? Is it too terrible? Have you taken the tonic yet?”

Giles interjected, “I’ve nearly completed it.”

Turning to the adult as if he just kicked a puppy, Willow yelled at the adult, “You made me go to sleep because you said you’d finish it!”

Giles was taken aback by her outburst, but clearly understood how upset and worried she was about her childhood best friend. Giles returned to the kitchen as Xander reassured Willow, “I’m alright… mostly.” Her concerned face clearly showed she wasn’t buying it, but he smiled before joking, “And can you smell that thing? It’s all the way in the kitchen and that’s already too close. You expect me to drink that?”

Buffy’s concerned voice asked, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Happy to hear how worried she was for him, Xander jovially nodded as he reassured her, “I’m not a hundred percent, but gimme a couple of days and I’ll be good for round two.”

“No!” Buffy and Willow yelled in unison.

To see in their eyes the dead-set determination to keep him from any more danger was refreshing for Xander, since it reinforced how much they cared about him. The guys at Dinks cared about him in a younger-brotherly sort of way. Buffy and Willow cared about him in a familial way. After all their ups and downs, this small moment felt hard-earned and worth it.

Willow got up and rushed to the kitchen as she voiced, “I’ll finish the tonic… and see if I can give it a twinkie flavor.”

“You’re a gift from God, Will,” Xander called out.

Sitting down on the couch next to him, Buffy bemused in great disbelief, “I still can’t believe you fought Spike by yourself and survived… for longer than twenty seconds; let alone minutes.” She leaned in close and Xander could feel her warmth as the baffled girl asked, “How did you… Just, how?”

Her bluish-green eyes glanced down at his axe and he knew she was dying for him to tell her everything. Xander smiled as he voiced, “I call her Dreadnought.”

Buffy smiled before remarking, “Okay, as far as weapon names, that’s a definite A+.” Becoming more earnest, she asked, “Seriously though, how did you manage to survive? I hate to say it, but Spike’s a challenge even for me & Angel.”

At the automatic mention of Angel, Buffy paused in her thoughts, likely thinking about her recent kiss with the handsome vampire. Intent on moving forward, Xander simply replied, “Well, it wasn’t easy.”

From the kitchen, Giles voiced loud enough for all to hear, “Angel confessed that he’s witnessed you hold your own against one or even two vampires-”

“Which is amazing!” Willow called out as she focused on the careful swirling of the tonic.

“Y-yes, of course,” Giles added before asking Xander, “Since when have you been able to defend yourself so effectively?”

At Buffy’s somber, yet curious expression, Xander wondered if telling them the truth about the time braid will somehow jinx his progress. Now that Dreadnought could help heal the injuries that may have otherwise been fatal, he didn’t want to risk any of his friends deviating too far from their conventional paths simply because they learned about the time braid. He promised himself he’d tell them everything after he got out of the year-loop, so that’s the plan he’ll stick with.

Even still, they were looking at him for answers and Xander hated lying to them, so he simply stated, “Since Halloween.” At their confused faces, he elaborated, “That soldier I dressed as- He was a Navy SEAL with a lot of combat experience that I now have rattling around in my brain.”

Leaning in closer, Buffy’s face morphed into one of disbelief and gratitude as she expressed to her dear friend, “First you save my life with the vest. Then you kept Spike from killing us. We were like possessed fish in a barrel. Easy pickings for him. And I couldn’t do anything to help you. I could see you, but I couldn’t do anything…”

“Trust me, I know the feeling,” Xander replied with an exhaustive huff. “Been possessed way too many times to count.”

Buffy’s strong arms wrapped around his middle, her beautiful blonde head fit comfortably in the nook of his neck like puzzle pieces snapping perfectly together. Then she happily expressed, “I can’t thank you enough, Xander.” Buffy hugged him as firmly as he could withstand, and Xander only wished his aching body could take more. It was the first time in a while that she was so affectionate in her gratitude. Taking in her joyous warmth and scent like a healing tonic, he felt like he was under a spell, or high.

“Especially for getting to smooch Angel one more time,” Willow said, ruining their moment as she returned with the bubbling, snot-colored, healing drink. Buffy pulled away from Xander to smile knowingly at Willow, and Xander cringed to realize his girl-friends were still hung up on the majesty of the romance between Buffy and Angel, forbidden though it was. Hearing about Buffy kissing Angel in the music room hurt Xander more than the powerful aroma of the putrid tonic.

“Oh… yeah, no… my pleasure,” Xander dully returned.

“Don’t worry. Nothing else happened,” Buffy reassured him with a cute slant of her head. “I’ll kill Spike as soon as Angel finds him.”

Tentatively, Xander tried to emphasize once again, “I… uh- Um, I get this won’t be happily received, but, I still think we should ensoul Spike.”

“Out of the question,” Giles quickly stated, the hurt very present in his eyes, and the teenager didn’t push it further. Heaven forbid Xander looped again, but if he had the misfortune to do so, he needed to make sure Jenny survived; even if he had to follow her all day and night.

Xander stayed in Giles’ apartment until he could walk without spiderwebs of pain shooting up his legs and spine. He even held onto Dreadnought like a walking cane. Then he went home—battle axe in hand—to rest. Though heavily bruised the next morning, he was feeling just well enough to drag his sore body to school and see the destruction his axe made of the school’s walls, pipes, electrical lines, shelves, and lockers. The devastation to school property was blamed on doped-up, delinquent bandits with sledgehammers. Cordelia didn’t believe the cover story for a second and asked the Scooby Gang what really happened.

Xander told her the truth with Buffy and Willow confirming, but with heavy skepticism on her symmetrical face, Cordelia slowly asked, “You have an axe? You.”

With a great big grin, eager to annoy the skeptical girl, Xander informed her, “It’s called Dreadnought.”

“I’m not calling it that,” she leveled at the giddy nerd. Looking at the mayhem of the school, she asked him, “You have an axe that can fly… to you… on command?”

Smiling with glee, he answered, “Just like Thor. You know. From a comic book… that geeks read. Not so lame now, is it?” His smugness made her simply shake her head, fighting the amusement creeping up in her eyes and on her lips, then walked away. But Cordelia would return to the library more often and hang out with them more.

The following week, Xander was fully recovered from his fight with Spike, however, he wouldn’t have minded being on the injured list a little longer. Buffy, Willow, and Cordelia took turns treating him with more attention than he ever got before. Cordelia made him a personalized ‘Get Well Soon’ card that read, ‘The Lengths You’ll Go To For Attention. Get Well Soon. I Can Only Be Nice For So Long.’ Willow brought over a photo album so they could reminisce about their younger days at the water park and playgrounds. And Buffy brought him chicken soup her mom made since he was starving. He didn’t need much from his friends, but he enjoyed being tended to. Their care was more than his parents did, who stopped leaving his dinner in the fridge anymore.

It was a rare night that Xander, Buffy, Willow, and Cordelia got to spend time at the beach. They were celebrating their swim team’s win in the state semifinals with their other juniors and seniors. The warm bonfire, the bright moon up above, and the rhythmic crashing of the waves were soothing to the teenagers gathered, however, it was a cold night.

“All I’m saying is, it was a stupid idea to have a victory party on the beach at night,” Xander complained to his friends, arms crossed to keep his chest warm. “It’s officially nippy. So say my nips.”

“Well, it’s the team’s choice,” Cordelia returned. “It was their victory.”

Noticing Buffy staring off into the pitch-black ocean, Xander called, “Earth to Buffy? Come in Buffy.”

Turning to them, surprised by her own inattention, she hummed, “Hmm?”

Xander figured it had to do with Angel, because it always had to do with Angel. He asked, “I’m getting drinks. You want anything?”

“I’ll go,” Buffy quickly asserted, hopping to her feet. “You relax and I’ll be right back.”

However, she had taken so long, Xander began scanning the festive crowd of drinking teens. Off in the distance, he happened to spot her talking with the handsome Cameron Walker; Tall, chestnut-brown hair, and the captain of the swim team. Xander never liked him. To see her so comfortable with Cameron made Xander question his own self-worth, even if Sherlock, Achilles, or Casanova never would.

‘Why am I getting all annoyed when I’m soo the oldest soul here?’ he asked himself with annoyance. Slightly in his line of sight to Buffy, Xander noted Dodd McAlvy shoving someone’s head into a metal beverage tub filled with ice water and soda cans while many of their classmates laughed. When Dodd pulled the boy’s head out of the cold water, Xander noticed it was Jonathan, an unpopular waifish boy with grand plans of popularity. Xander was just like him a time ago, and couldn’t allow this bullying to continue.

Xander calmly walked over to Dodd who was yelling to a gasping Jonathan, “C’mon, Jonny! You gotta hold your breath longer than that if you ever want to make the team!” Turning to the crowd, he happily called, “Somebody time him,” as he forcibly shoved Jonathan’s gasping head into the tub of iced water.

Buffy appeared just as Xander was about to grab Dodd’s arm. They both pulled back as they said, “Oh, you were going to-” “I didn’t mean to-”

Dodd looked at them curiously as Xander extended his hand as he said, “No, no, after you, ma lady-”

“No, you go. I insist,” Buffy returned, shaking her head. “Plus, I wouldn’t mind seeing a little more of what you can do.”

Xander nodded as a confused Dodd asked, “What the hell are you two doing-”

Xander flicked the muscular teen’s Adam’s Apple with two fingers, engaging his gag reflex, and making him let Jonathan go as he coughed loudly. He gripped his throat for a moment and Xander calmly put his hands in his pockets. Immediately furious at the casual teen, Dodd stepped forward to punch Xander with all his muscular might, however, Xander was a master of spacing, timing and coordination. Xander’s right foot hooked the heel of Dodd’s forward stepping foot, and like a foot coming down past the edge of a cliff, Xander never let him plant firmly on the sand. He pulled Dodd’s step so far forward, and all his weight kept shuffling forward until the tightly muscular teen hit the sand in a full split, instantly cupping his hyper-stretched groin.

Many students winced to see such a simple move cause so much havoc. Xander felt so bad for Dodd, he didn’t make fun of the cigar-chomping shark tattoo on his forearm. Cameron nearly shoved Xander, however, Xander’s awareness kept the handsome swimmer from actually touching him. Xander sidestepped the angry boy, as the rest of the team moved in to protect their teammates.

Buffy stood in front of Xander, raising her hands to the group of swimmers as she warned them, “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on now. He had it coming.”

Cameron looked from Buffy, appealing to him with her expressive greenish-blue eyes, to a casual Xander, still with his hands in his pockets. With Buffy between them, Cameron calmed down, then nodded to his teammates. Gage grabbed a hobbling Dodd as he growled, “Whatever.”

Most of the team left together as Buffy moved to a soaked and shivering Jonathan and said, “Let’s find you a towel.”

Irate, Jonathan yelled at Buffy, “Mind your own business! I could’ve handled that on my own!” Then the bullied boy stormed off.

Buffy turned to Xander and plastered a lackluster grin on her face before sarcastically asking, “Ain’t it just the funnest to hang out with me?”

“Obviously, yes,” Xander easily answered. “But I may be biased.”

The Scoobies didn’t learn until the following morning that the night’s festivities didn’t end well. Xander learned in the library that Cameron made unwanted advances on Buffy, for which he earned a sprained wrist and bloody nose, and Giles informed them all that the remains of Dodd McAlvey were found on the beach that morning.

“Vampires?” Buffy asked.

Giles shook his head, looking away from the book in his hands to answer, “No. He was eviscerated. Nothing left but skin and cartilage.”

Buffy wrinkled her nose in disgust as she asked, “So, something just split him open and ate his insides?”

Occasionally the odd one, Willow remarked, “Like an Oreo cookie.” When they all turned to her, wondering if the disturbing comment really came from her, Willow tried to course-correct. “Except, you know, without the chocolatey cookie goodness.”

Giles cleared his throat before mentioning, “Principal Snyder’s instructed the faculty to keep the news quiet for now so as not to unduly upset the students.”

“So,” Willow started. “We’re looking for a beastie?”

“That eats humans whole,” Giles elaborated. “Except for the skin.”

“Doesn’t make sense,” Buffy voiced her confused thoughts to the group.

“Yeah, the skin’s the best part,” Xander grimly jested.

Buffy turned to Giles and asked in all seriousness, “Any demons with high cholesterol?” Giles just gave the blonde a deadpanned look while Xander held back his desire to laugh. Buffy smiled a little as she cutely assured her watcher, “Later on, you’re gonna think about that and you’re gonna laugh.”

After school, the gang was researching in the library. Dodd’s remains, the swim team, monsters, deaths, all keywords seemed suspicious, and Old Man Xander’s memories flared with faint recognition. Xander felt so close to uncovering everything about this particular danger, it was right on the tip of his tongue. Then he felt dry-mouthed and went for a drink. In the lounge, Xander was feeding a second quarter into the soda machine when he suddenly heard movement—shuffling of clothes, sneakers on tile—and automatically honed in on the source. What might’ve been a monster headed in his direction only turned out to be a sickly Cameron.

The boys stared at each other, clearly unfavorable to the other’s existence, and Xander easily noted the swollen, purple & red wounded nose Buffy gave him. Cameron noted the small smile on the geek’s face, and when he continued getting his drink, the swim team captain childishly bumped into him, knocking Xander’s quarter to the ground. Mockingly, he lamely said, “Sorry… spaz.”

It was reassuring to know that taking the high-road wasn’t because Xander couldn’t beat the swim team captain to within an inch of his life. The raven-haired teen simply smiled as he picked up his quarter and jested, “Not forgiven, your swimteamliness.”

Cameron simply scoffed, “Loser,” before continuing toward the closed cafeteria.

“Liking the nose, Cam,” Xander called out with amusement. “Good look for you.”

Cameron stopped mid-step, and turned to the casual teen before heatedly demanding to know, “Meaning what?”

Xander smiled as he answered, “Meaning, Buffy must not be on your list of privileges. Meaning, I love it when you guys mess with her. It’s so rare that karma is that instant.”

Cameron took malicious steps toward Xander, clearly intent on fighting, however, Xander didn’t budge. The geek seemed entirely unconcerned and Cameron stopped before confessing, “You’re lucky I’m hungry.”

“Cafeteria’s closed,” Xander called out to the boy when he realized that was his destination.

“Not to me,” the smug Cameron replied.

Xander rolled his eyes before returning to his great soda dilemma. The teen was conflicted between grape and orange when he suddenly heard a blood-curdling scream coming from the cafeteria, followed by a meaty tearing sound and tables being knocked over. Realizing Cameron was in the cafeteria, Xander ran straight to the danger, all the while wondering if he should call Dreadnought or not.

Well in the room, three tables were overturned, one bent in half, but Xander wondered more about the acute horrid smell attacking his nostrils. Ignoring his own distress, Xander looked around the room as he called out, “Anybody here? Cameron-”

The teenager then came face to face with the stuff of nightmares. A gooey, black & green scaly creature that was seven feet tall with a spiny head, like a fish. The aquatic-looking monster had palpitating gills at the side of its thick neck, and large, black bulging eyes that never closed. Its gaping, piranha-toothed jaw widened like it was preparing to eat him, then let out a primal croaking screech.

Suddenly, Xander remembered exactly where he’d seen a creature like this before, and voiced, “You miserable old bastard, finally remembered something.”

The creature tried to swipe at Xander, who leapt back, then it ran away faster than Xander could follow; losing it after the third corner. After telling Buffy and his friends what he just encountered, Xander met with Coach Marin to try out for the swim team. Despite barely scraping six feet in height, Xander was not only physically fit, but his muscular synapses, reflexes, and efficiency were at a God-tier level. Xander aced his tryout, and the coach was eager to have him on the team. His Old Man memories seemed to recall being average speed in the water.

The following day, Buffy explained what happened when a vampire bit Gage the previous night. “Spitting out the blood means there’s something wrong with it,” Buffy claimed, and Xander knew more or less what he had to do. Aside from telling his evil-fighting friends the truth with no proof, he needed to get evidence of the coach drugging his students so the gang could stop him.

Walking out to the pool area for practice, wearing only Speedos, Xander was half-amused, half shocked to see Willow, Buffy, and Cordelia gawking at him. He reached for an orange floaty nearby and covered his near-nakedness. Though their stares of approval felt nice, he couldn’t deny some embarrassment. After all, Willow and Buffy have never seen him with so few clothes on.

Still, working out five to six days a week for nearly two hours was no simple task to do for nearly half a year. His dorky persona in a fit body was not what Buffy or Willow were expecting, and it showed on their expressions. With Cordelia, Xander tried not to look too much in her direction. She had that hungry look in her sensual brown eyes and he didn’t want to think about sex while in public wearing Speedos.

“What are you doing?” Cordelia called out to him. She stood up and crossed her arms as she tried not to look at him all over. “Trying to fool people into thinking you’re a member of the swim team?”

Holding the flotation device to his pelvis, Xander hotly spouted back, “I am on the swim team! I’m undercover.”

Getting an eye-full, a broadly grinning Buffy teased, “You’re not under much.”

The blushing Willow giggled as Xander pushed on to say, “I tried out and made the team so I can keep an eye on Gage and the others when Buffy can’t.”

“Awww,” Buffy sounded, touched by his thoughtfulness.

“Harris!” Coach Marin yelled from the other side of the room. “Flirt on your own time! In the pool, now!”

Xander nodded to the man before whispering to his friends, “FYI, he’s my number one suspect.”

Curious, Willow asked, “What makes you say that?”

“Shaggy and Scooby would say the teacher is always first on the list,” Xander clinically professed before returning to practice.

While gazing hungrily at Xander walking away, Cordelia casually asked the girls, “Is it me, or has Xander gotten kinda hot lately?” Willow choked heavily, and Buffy raised her eyebrows before Cordelia turned to genuinely ask them, “You two aren’t interested, right?”

Once Xander was done with practice, he tagged Buffy in to watch over Gage while he went to the forge. It was the following day when he learned from Buffy and Giles that the monsters attacking the swim team were actually the boys from the swim team. Buffy explained to Xander and Willow that the swim team had been doping in order to win their swim meets and gain the prestige of the school.

“Something must be mixed in with the steroids,” Willow guessed.

Buffy told her male friend, “Xander, try to find out what these boys are taking, or at least how they’re taking it; pills, powder, syringes.”

“What are you going to do?” Willow asked Buffy.

“Giles is loading up the tranquilizer gun,” the blonde slayer said before adding, “We’re going fishing.”

Considering he knew the Coach was the culprit, Xander suggested, “How about we just talk with the coach? I’m sure he’s the one doping the team. And thanks to my SEAL training, I know a few interrogation techniques that’ll make him sing within the hour.”

“Love the enthusiasm,” Buffy replied with a nod. “But let’s figure out how he’s doing it first, if it’s actually Coach Marin.”

With a sigh, Xander nodded, and soon after swim practice, he was in the sauna with his teammates. He was about to subtly interrogate Sean about steroids and how the drugs was being put in their bodies, when his body suddenly felt alarmed, as if it was in peril. Looking around the sauna full of boys, his sharper mind realized the sauna could be a great aromatic delivery system for unknown chemical compounds. Better yet, the coach wouldn’t even have to tell the students and risk one of them having a crisis of conscience. The Sherlock pattern within thought it made the most sense.

Before the panic set in, the raven-haired teen leaned over and confidently asked Sean, “It’s in the steam, isn’t it?”

Sean hesitated for a moment before asking, “Wha- What do you mean?”

That was enough confirmation for Xander who promptly got up and ran straight to Giles to get the watcher started on an antidote. “See, Scoob and Shag were right!” a worried Xander called to his friends as he neurotically scratched at his neck. Though he wasn’t expecting to actually turn into a monstrous fish, he simply feared looping back if he did. “It’s always the teachers!”

“We don’t know that,” Buffy returned, “But, I don’t really trust Coach’s whole ‘they’re my inspiration,’ speech.”

While Giles, Willow, Xander, and Cordelia rounded up the swim team members, Buffy talked to the coach, but Xander soon followed after her. In the school’s basement—filled with water pipes and regulators—the Coach happened to be looking down an open shaft with chuckling amusement. It took Xander but a moment to realize if the coach was in one piece and Buffy was nowhere to be seen, she was likely in the hole. Spotting the revolver gun on the table and the way he was so focused on the open shaft, Xander figured Buffy was down the hole.

Xander grabbed the gun, and the noise of shoes on the metal floor made the Coach get up, however, as he turned to Xander, the bold teen backhanded the heavy-set man across the face, making him spin as he topple backward and into the hole. Xander noted the Coach falling on one of the monsters with a splash. Through the square hole, he was surprised to find a deeply flooded cavern, with the water level to Buffy’s chest as she fought off two, much larger fish monsters.

Laying flat on the floor, Xander extended his arm as deep into the water-filled cavern as possible as he called out, “Buffy! Grab my hand!”

Buffy dunked into the water before springing up with all her slayer strength. Soaking wet, she leapt nearly ten feet to reach for his hand. A wet CLAP sounded when he caught her. Her dainty hand had an extremely strong grip, however, Xander didn’t let go, and pulled the girl up to safety. Buffy quickly began shivering from the combination of dripping wet clothing, the cold pump room, and the fear of narrowly escaping death. Xander took off his outer sweatshirt and slipped it over her head.

“Thanks,” the damp girl gratefully expressed.

“Just doing my part,” Xander casually replied, before they heard a yell from the depths of the hole.

Looking down, they noted the large fish monsters attacking their coach, breaking his limbs with an audible, meaty SNAP, and devouring him. Coach Marin yelled for help, and the teens extended their hands, but there was no way the old, heavy-set man was going to make a ten foot vertical leap out of chest high water. The humanoid marine creatures dragged the fearful man under the black pool of water. Though Buffy wanted to save the man, nothing but a single series of bubbles came back up.

It was a sad end to a tale of desperation. Winning at all costs led to the deaths of Coach Marin, Nurse Greenleigh, Dodd, Cameron, and Gage. The swim team had to receive treatment for the fish steroid in their bloodstream and the school had to forfeit their spot in the finals for the state championship. The Scooby Gang needed a break after that and Giles kindly gave them the night off—specifically Buffy—from slaying.

Later that night, Cordelia drove Xander to his house to grab a change of clothes and a few movies for rest and relaxation at her large house. Cordelia had been the one to invite him to watch a movie that night, and when he told Buffy and Willow about his plans, they invited themselves. Xander wasn’t sure what plans Cordelia had for the night, but now, the gang was all going to watch a movie at her place.

The pretty cheerleader was in her car waiting while Xander rushed through his collection of VHS tapes. Considering the large size of Cordelia’s TV, he picked a few of his favorites: Back to the Future, RoboCop, Mystery Science Theater 3000, and one of his all-time favorites, The Goonies. Xander felt saddened by the technology of the time. He knew TVs would get much larger, thinner, and clearer. Then the boom of holographic technology soared after that. Those advancements were the one things he longed for from his future memories.

Turning around with his movies in hand, he was shocked to see his father standing behind him. He gasped, “Jeez, dad! You nearly scared the living mess out of me.” His father remained silent and Xander simply nodded, sarcastically asserting, “Good chat. I’m watching movies at a friend’s. Might spend the night if it gets too-”

Xander’s cut off when his father grabbed him by the neck and threw him against the wall with more force than he expected, caving in the tacky wallpaper and drywall. Xander’s body unconsciously retained enough balance to keep from falling to the floor. He was about to yell at his abusive father when the man threw a punch to his face. Xander jerked his head to avoid the strike and countered with a hard shove to the chest, pushing his father back.

“Dad!” he yelled. “Seriously? You can’t just say you don’t want me to go-”

Xander dodged the lamp his father threw, and with more speed than he’s ever seen his father move with, he tackled Xander around the middle and they both went crashing through the wall. Dust, chunks of wall, and wallpaper covered them in the hallway. Dazed, Xander felt a lot of weight on top of him and didn’t see the punch coming until it was too late. His face forcibly twisted to the side, making him cough streaks of blood out on the dirty carpet.

Xander’s vision of the dark hallway was immediately whirling. The punch felt incredibly strong; stronger than his father ever had used before. The dazed teen was struck across the face twice more before Xander lethargically grabbed the third strike and pulled Anthony Harris into a headbutt. That made the man recoil far enough for the teen to slip from under him.

Xander put some distance between them, and touched his busted lip and bleeding nose. His heating face already felt thick with swelling as he yelled at his chuckling father, “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“Why, I thought that would’ve been obvious,” Mr. Harris growled. “You’re what’s wrong with me; always have been. Actually, you are, by far, the biggest mistake of my life.”

Unbothered by Anthony’s inebriated talk, Xander groaned from the throbbing pain before asking, “Jesus, how much have you had to drink this time?”

“Look at me, you dumb fuck.” The coldness in his father’s voice made Xander’s hackles stand on end. Truly looking at his father, the man didn’t appear intoxicated. Taking a step closer into the bit of light in the hall, Anthony Harris asked, “Do I look drunk to you?”

Xander’s hand dropped to his side, his knees suddenly felt like wet paper, and his stomach turned & tightened so much he wanted to throw up on the spot. Xander couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t accept it. What he was seeing couldn’t be real, because his father never had a vampire face before. The teen started laughing; more deranged in disbelief than amused.

Xander took a step forward, professing, “Dad, that’s not funny. That’s… Halloween isn’t for like five… months.” Anthony Harris growled, then revealed the elongated teeth of a vampire with an angry hiss. It only made Xander doubt what he was seeing even more. “Dad…. s-seriously… whoever… put you up to this… that makeup’s t-terrible…”

Gesturing to his own face, Anthony growled with a disturbing tilt of his demon head, “This happened because of you, boy.” Anthony stepped closer to his numb son as he said, “We did everything for you… raised you better than you had any right to… and you shat all over our sacrifice.”

Shaking his head, moving even closer to his afflicted father, Xander repeated, “No… no… n-”

Anthony Harris grabbed Xander by the collar and slammed him into the wall as he yelled in his face, “We were missing for days! And you never even noticed! Your own parents!”

“W-wait, wait! Dad, tell me- tell me wha-what haaappened,” Xander stuttered as he pleaded, trying to regain his mental equilibrium. Feeling like he was losing his mind, Xander spoke, “I-I-I can help you- OOFF!”

Anthony punched his son in the stomach, nearly knocking all the air out of his lungs before he replied, “It’s too late for that, boy.” He punched Xander in the stomach again, yelling in his pained face, “I’m a vampire now! They tortured me for days before they turned me! All because of you! You worthless, bottom-feeding, maggot!” He punched him again. “I hate you!” He punched him again. “I’ve always hated you!” And again. “Your mother hates you!” Anthony punched his son in the gut once more, before effortlessly lifting the gasping, beaten boy again.

Xander could barely breathe, much less see clearly, but he obsessively focused when his father said, “They’re probably still torturing her right now.” Xander paled, perspired profusely, and felt sick in a way that had nothing to do with the physical agony of his stomach. “Imagine what you’re feeling, then double it,” Anthony continued. “That’s what your poor, sweet mother is going through. Broken bones, ripped off fingernails, stabbing, burning… that’s what her life for the past week has been, son. They’re sadistic bastards, but, I can’t wait to see what Spike has in store for you.”

Anthony hoisted Xander’s limp form on his shoulder, casually walked down the stairs, and opened the front door to leave. The man stopped at the sight of a gorgeous brunette squeaking in surprise. She was so beautiful, he barely registered the large axe she was holding to her chest with both arms. Anthony could smell her succulent fear rolling off her, and so didn’t fear the large weapon in her hands.

Licking his lips, he remarked, “Well, aren’t you just the prettiest little thing.” Cordelia took a shaky step back in fear. “Oh, don’t be scared, gorgeous. I wouldn’t dream of hurting you. No, no… hurting you is definitely not what I want to do to ya.”

Eying the body slumped on Anthony’s shoulder, the panicky Cordelia frightfully called, “X-X-Xander?”

With a wicked smile on his vampiric face, Anthony gasped before asking, “Oh, you know my son? Hot damn, he’s got some fine taste in women. Mnn! I could just eat you up.”

“X-X-XANDER,” she yelled louder, despite her clear fear. “Wake up!”

Moving a step closer, Anthony gently voiced, “You seem stressed. Are you stressed, princess? How about you come inside-”

Much faster outside the home than inside, Anthony snagged Cordelia’s hand, making her drop the axe on the stone floor with a heavy KLANG, and forcefully dragged her into the house. All the while she was being pulled into the confining home, then watched the vampire kick her only exit to freedom closed, Cordelia screamed, “Xander! Xander! Wake up! Please! Help! Help- ACK!”

Anthony gripped her elegant throat with his supernaturally cold, powerful hand, causing her to choke her words, and slammed her against the wall just inside the Harris residence.

“Come on, now. You’ll wake the neighbors,” Anthony slowly voiced so near her shivering face. Her eyes were wide and fearful as she stared into the demon’s yellow eyes. He moved extremely close and sniffed her, then licked her cheek, leaving a saliva trail as tears streamed down her fearful eyes. “But if you really want to scream, I’ll give you something nice and thick to scream about.”

The home’s old door suddenly broke in half, bursting splinters of wood toward them as the large axe Cordelia dropped flew directly into Xander’s outstretched hand. Amidst the momentary confusion, the half-conscious Xander swung the sharp blade of his heavy axe halfway into his father’s shin. Anthony howled in pain, dropping his son and letting Cordelia go as he fell to the floor and gripped his wounded leg.

Despite the bleeding Xander’s exhaustion, Dreadnought helped him gain the strength to wield the weapon while powering up his healing process. With his red face swelling, Xander looked down at his groaning father gripping his injured leg, took in the evil vampiric face, then felt the impossible weight of the decision in front of him. Xander knew what to do with vampires, knew the evils they were capable of, but he couldn’t stop realizing this was also his father.

“Do it!” the huffing Anthony yelled. Xander gripped Dreadnought tighter, willing himself to decapitate his father, but he couldn’t do it. Dreadnought shook in his hand, his face a mix of swelling and horror, while Anthony Harris just laughed loudly at his son. “I knew it! You’re too weak, son! You’ve always been weak! CRYING ALL THE GODDAMN TIME! And you’ll always be weak!!”

Groaning in defeat, Xander instead laid Dreadnought on top of his father’s chest, somehow knowing Anthony wouldn’t be able to lift it. It was similar to Mjölnir’s rune enchantment ᛟ, or ōþila, meaning heritage & possession, where only those worthy may wield the hammer of Thor. In Xander’s case, however, any human with a soul should be capable of picking up Dreadnought, since Willow, Giles, Cordelia, and Buffy already have. They don’t seem to get the benefits he does, but they can still lift it.

As Xander’s father struggled to move the battle axe, as if he were pinned between a rock and a hard place, a distraught Xander took several sluggish steps back before sinking to the floor and just watched his father struggle in silence. Even when Cordelia begged Xander to move or respond, he couldn’t. Even when Buffy, Willow, and eventually Giles showed up, Xander couldn’t move. He simply stared at his father, fighting in vain to free himself, and let the tears fall down his swollen face.

His father pleaded, yelled, threatened, and bargained with any of them to let him go. “I’ll tell you where they’re keeping her!?”

“Keeping who?” an irate Buffy retorted.

Anthony laughed maniacally before answering, “Why, the old lady of the house, of course.” He looked over to his catatonic son and yelled, “You hear that, boy! Get this hunk of metal off me! And I’ll tell you where your poor wittle mommy is being tortured! Hahahahaha!”

Xander wasn’t sure what to do. His mind felt numb, in a fog, unsure of what to feel, and it was only getting worse. Memories of his mother drinking, ignoring him, going through his room for whatever drunken reason filled his mind. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know where his mother was, but that only tore his heart because it meant he was a terrible son. It made his heart ache, his body feverishly sick, and his soul whither into a freezing mist. He heard many voices around him like muffled sounds, but the only one that seemed to move him was Buffy’s.

“Xander,” her sweet, soft voice said. And for the first time, he looked up. Buffy was kneeling in front of him, a mixture of sympathy and resolve. He had no idea her hand was holding his, and she spoke in the most soothing voice. She simply looked at him, conveying with her eyes alone that she had his back in anything and everything he needed.

“My mom…” Xander croaked, then felt the heat prickle his eyes before more hot tears streamed down his swelling face. “We need to- ...need to-”

“It’s okay,” she assured him, gently squeezing his hand. “We will.”

“Not if you don’t hurry,” Anthony yelled. “She may already be dead!”

Willow screamed at the vampire father, “Shut up!”

“Gimme a blow job and I’ll consider it,” he laughed as Giles placed a calming palm on the redhead’s shoulder to keep her from killing Mr. Harris.

“Xander,” Buffy softly called again, making him focus more on her. “Grab Dreadnought for me, please?” Xander looked at her as if his brain was deprived of oxygen and words held no meaning. Speech was effectively alien to him. “Xander,” Buffy tried again, a little more sternly. “Please grab Dreadnought for me?”

Slowly, the words seeped into his understanding, and little by little, he extended his hand. For moments, nothing happened until his faithful axe finally flew into his palm, instantly accelerating his natural healing process. Buffy quickly and brutally subdued Xander’s vampire father with a submission hold.

Holding him down with her supernatural strength, Mr. Harris wasn’t going anywhere, and she yelled, “Talk! Now!”

“Wha-What do you want t-to know? Hmm?” Anthony began between winces. Buffy was putting the hurt on him, however, the vampire still dramatized his retelling. “Want to know how Spike nabbed me and my misses on the way home? How he tortured us for days because our malignant waste of a son got in his way? Spike coulda killed someone called the slayer! Instead, my biggest regret in life humiliated him, stopped Spike cold. So, naturally, he took it out on his family.”

Buffy and the rest of the gang realized the Harris adults suffered because Xander stopped Spike from killing Buffy. The slayer, the watcher, and the witch immediately blamed themselves for the deaths of Xander’s parents, but none more than the son.

“You’d think our precious boy would care enough to even notice we were gone,” Anthony continued. “But we never meant anything to him-”

“Like I ever meant anything to you,” Xander yelled back. “Getting drunk every night, beating me when it got bad! Letting mom stay like that! Just tell me where she is so I can save her like you never could!”

“He’s so touchy-” Buffy interrupted Anthony’s snarky mouth with a punch to the face. “Alright, alright,” the vampire called out, flexing his jaw and making an audible clicking noise. “Promise me you’ll let me go if I tell you. Let me go, and you’ll find your bitch of a mother. Come on, son. Do one good thing for your old man.”

“...Fine,” Xander eventually said.

“The old pool,” Mr. Harris voiced. “You know where. He thought you’d appreciate the attention to detail!”

The old, painful memories flooded in. When Xander was five and his parents still tried to be good, they brought him to the pool with their other family and cousins. The pool was fairly open, popular, and amazing. He even ran into Willow, Jessie, or Cordelia on occasion. However, it turned out Xander had a fear of water. His tiny body visibly shook when he tried to toe the water. He certainly didn’t want to go anywhere near the deeper end, much less the shallow end.

The way the five-year-old Xander was fussing must’ve annoyed his mother, since she callously grabbed her young son by the arm and tossed him into the deep end. Xander screamed for help, but no one would since his father kept them away, reassuring them that he was just learning to swim. It felt as if they were trying to give him time to drown rather than pick up swimming. Eventually, the lifeguard did save Xander, and Anthony looked like the villain.

It wouldn’t be the worst thing they’ve ever done to him, but Xander remembered crying for days after that. He lost his fear of water, but he gained a healthy fear of his parents for some time. That moment was always a point of disappointment for Xander’s parents. They felt they saw who Xander truly was, and it only got worse from there. But Xander refused to think anymore about that. Instead, he slowly got to his feet, dragged the sharp head of Dreadnought straight to his father, still being held down by Buffy.

“Hey, hey, hey,” his worried vampire father called. “Xander, son, you promised!”

“I know… and I am,” a fragile and crushed Xander softly growled through the knot logged in his throat. “I won’t let you live like this.” Xander raised Dreadnought above his head. All he had to do was allow the heavy metal to fall. The razor edge was so sharp, that he was confident the weight would push it through the bones of the neck. Instead, Dreadnought only shook above Xander’s head. Letting the axe fall would end his father, and Xander couldn’t bring himself to kill him for a second time.

Sadly, Buffy staked Anthony Harris in his place, dusting Xander’s father in his home.

They went to the old Sunnydale Aquatic Center past Route 17, a community pool that closed in the early 90s. Xander was deathly silent the entire way, even when they broke the locks and walked in. The raven-haired teen remained silent as he walked to the one place he figured she would be. Buffy, Willow, Cordelia, and Giles followed him in silence past the dilapidated Snack Shack, the withering party pavilions, the dried-up & stained rock river, and to the medical bay. That’s where he found his only puppy in his youth, and where he found his mother strung up to the old, rusted light fixture on the wall.

“Oh my God,” Xander heard Willow gasp, but Xander felt outside of himself. He couldn’t think or feel. He simply observed and tried not to forget to breathe. Giles went to inspect the body, only to learn she wasn’t dead-dead. She opened her vampire yellow eyes, shoved Giles out of the way, and lunged at her son. She was ready to kill him, but Buffy was there to fight her off. When the blonde slayer was about to stake her, Xander told her to wait. He then placed his axe on her chest and waited for the sun to come up.

The thing that hurt Xander the most wasn’t so much what happened to his parents, and his culpability in it, but the fact that he wouldn’t deliberately loop back just to save them. He gladly looped back via killing Spike simply for kissing Buffy, but his shitty parents were turned into vampires and he, their shitty son, wouldn’t do anything to loop back and save their lives. It forced Xander to take a cold, hard look at how deformed his morality seemed to be. Even if his parents were neglectful drunks, they were still his parents, and he should love them enough to save them.

“I could go back… and save them,” he absentmindedly said.

“Xander, this is part of the grieving process,” Giles gently voiced from beside him. All of them were around him, lending him support simply by being there. “Of course, we want to save the people we love, but sometimes… sometimes we simply cannot. We must find the strength to choose life and move forward with them in our hearts.”

Not truly hearing Giles, Xander continued voicing, “This happened because of me-”

“No,” Buffy quickly asserted, moving in front of him. Staring into his one good eye, she asserted, “No, this is my fault! It’s because you were saving me that this happened. And I’m so sorry, Xander. I’m just so very sorry.” Buffy hugged him and he hugged her. Willow joined, as did Cordelia. It wasn’t long before he heard his mother’s screams of death with the first rays of sunlight, and he hugged his friends harder, letting the tears flow freely.