The Geek Vaccine

Xander would honestly be a stark raving lunatic by now, if not for one thing; the last six words he heard before looping back. He’d gone through the longest linear-living cycle yet and made it past the month-loop to his eighteenth birthday, despite spending the special day by himself. Nearly three months of intense exercise and forging was a milestone he doubted he had the tolerance to ever reach again. To then lose it all and loop back would’ve made Xander give up that Halloween morning.

Staring at his disgusting yellowish ceiling, the exhausted teen was a step removed from enacting some of the most heinous crimes humankind was capable of: getting the most beautiful women in the world to sleep with him by whatever means necessary; stealing money, cars, planes, and boats; burning down banks, blowing up oil fields & the power grid for the entire Western Seaboard; and nuking Russia & China simply to watch the world descend into world war. All the horrible, soul-crushing depravity was on the cusp of being carried out, if not for the last thing Buffy said to him…

‘How could I not when you…’

Gazing into her enchanting crying eyes as she confessed that single line illuminated to Xander that there was a possibility of Buffy falling in love with him. With that one line, she gave him hope they could be more than best friends. That he could have the girl of his dreams; could have his hero. How could Xander possibly waste time on needless destruction when Buffy was waiting for him.

‘Not waiting, exactly,’ he thought. ‘But the possibility’s definitely there, or she wouldn’t have said it. I just need to… not stop?’

Then the image of a smiling Cordelia popped into his mind and he felt stress squeeze his heart painfully, pumping more blood through his system and making him lightheaded. At the haunting recollection of her crying, broken voice, Xander ruined that beautiful girl’s smile. He hadn’t seen her since the day her parents called the police on him, but he knew her heart was destroyed because of him. And now Xander was thinking of Buffy, yet again. He simply couldn’t escape the likelihood that his monumental affection for Buffy meant he loved Cordelia less.

‘…Less,’ he woefully thought, feeling ill to his stomach. ‘I don’t like that word. Cordy’s just… different.’

To Xander, Cordelia felt like a kindred spirit. They understood each other, and there was an openness between them no other girl could match, which was certainly important in a relationship. The Buffy in his heart, however, felt like something else entirely. Regardless of his will, Buffy was just... the girl. The girl he’d ignore all the pain, turmoil, and lunacy for just to see again. The Anything & Everything girl. The point where all roads converge. If Cordelia was his fun and comforting life, Buffy was his astonishing life, and that beautiful slayer tearfully admitted to him there was a way.

Which meant Xander had to find it.

The raven-haired teenager got out of bed and went for a run to beat his weakened lungs back into shape. While he ran, he thought of the loop after the month-loop. When he had Sherlock locked in a room, the genius detective mentioned a year-loop after the month-loop. Since he looped back, it meant Xander would have to make it passed his nineteenth birthday to hopefully escape the time braid. The thought of such a grand obstacle made him shudder with dreaded fear and Xander sprinted harder to get rid of the growing anxiety in his chest. Just picturing the possibility that his entire life was a loop, and that he would never get out, made the anxious boy run so fast, he eventually had to stop to throw up.

After his run, Xander was once again standing in front of Ethan’s Costume Shoppe. With a glare, he simultaneously felt like he hadn’t seen the nefarious business in forever and far too much at the same time. However, he set his mind to task and walked in for his first of five costumes. To refresh the slow-fading mental patterns, Xander first began with Old Man Xander.

The teen attempted to get Ethan to create a twenty or thirty-year-old version in hopes Xander would remember more of his youth, but the best he could manage was a sixty-five-year-old version. Anytime he schemed or pushed for a younger-aged costume, Ethan grew suspicious and kicked him out. Xander even pretended to be a fellow agent of chaos in order to get a younger age, however, it never worked. Ethan would either stab him in the back or they would fight until Xander knocked him out. Even telling Ethan about the time loops and why he wanted a younger costume didn’t help.

“My exceptional young man,” Ethan began, positively beaming after hearing such a tale. “You’ve already been given the greatest gift ever bestowed upon humanity; impermanence. Gaining knowledge of the future would give you a measure of control. I’d never dare impose that on you. Chaos is in the not knowing. Life is never more beautiful when you’re left blissfully unaware of how the future will unfold.”

“Is that why you’re always fine giving me an eighty-year-old but not a twenty-year-old?”

“Precisely,” the man said with a happy yet sinister smile. “It is unlikely you would recall such a young age, providing you ample time to screw it all up, regardless.”

Annoyed by the smiling Englishman, Xander beat Ethan up and destroyed the bust of Janus out of pure spite. Then the agitated teenager stuffed his hands in his pockets and went home. In the next loop, Xander accepted the sixty-five-year-old version of himself. The younger Old Man did remember more of his adult life, however, his teenage years—especially around sixteen and seventeen—were still an unreliable mess.

Moving on, Xander became Sherlock next, and locked the genius in a room at the Motor Inn to see if there were any refined conclusions he could surmise. With the additional dates Xander looped back, the brilliant investigator confirmed there was a year mark after the month-loop, and if there was another loop after that, it would be three years after the year-loop. Shaking his head emphatically, Xander prayed to God that wouldn’t be the case. Such a long imprisonment would simply be too much for him. He’d gladly embrace lunacy if he was forced to suffer a three-year loop. Xander laid his hopes of escaping the time braid on the date Sherlock circled with a red marker; January 1999.

The raven-haired teenag then became Achilles for several dozen loops to blow off some steam. Achilles’ creative fighting prowess was still a sight to behold. Sometimes, Xander would throw away Achilles’ sword before the curse began, or give him two swords just to see the difference it made in his offense, but the man was a pure combat genius. It didn’t matter the weapon or situation. So long as Achilles could think and move, he could win.

Without the warrior costume, the very-much-human Xander was forced to focus on technique, instinct, and experience to compensate for his body’s flaws. Even if his muscle memory was leagues better, it only highlighted how much worse his weaker, flabbier, and slower body felt when he looped back. Fighting as Xander became difficult once again, and it made him wonder if there was anything he could do to boost his strength, even if only a little.

Xander became Merlin once again and spoke to the elder within his mind as they walked the streets of Sunnydale. After explaining everything about his circumstances, his suffering, and what previous Merlins had counseled thus far, Xander asked him about four things; love, dealing with heartbreak, coaxing magic into his vessels, and if there was anything that could help boost his physical strength. The legendary warlock listened as he used the sleeping spell on violent offenders during the Janus curse.

“Mnn,” the old man hummed, stroking his long, white beard. “There are those who claim love to be nothing more than a mental disease. One that inhibits higher reasoning and heightens emotional impulses. Whereas I have always considered love to be two souls in perfect harmony, perhaps even three if the conditions are ideal.”

“Three?” the shocked Xander called out from within the mental harness.

“It’s exceedingly rare,” Merlin said with an amused laugh.

“Okay, well, how do you harmonize two souls?”

“I’m afraid that is a form of magic even one such as I have difficulties harnessing,” Merlin answered. “We are all quite different, you see. And what may work with one, may not with another.”

Thinking of Cordelia, Xander then asked the wise elder about suffering heartache. He answered, “A broken heart is not unlike a broken rib cage. No one can see the wound, but the pain is unbearable with every breath.”

At Merlin’s statement, Xander thought of Buffy, Cordelia, Jenny, and, to some extent, Ms. Summers. They all had the hardest time dealing with their heartbreak and made terrible decisions because of it. It gave Xander more perspective into how they must feel every day to lose the person they love the most and what they would do to make the pain stop.

The elder sage continued, “But like all broken bones that are given sufficient time to heal, a broken heart may too find peace one day.”

“I guess there’s no way of knowing how long it takes to heal from a broken heart, huh?”

“I’m afraid not, my young one,” Merlin answered with an apologetic smile before moving on to Xander’s third query. “Hmmm, magic can be a fickle thing for novel practitioners. Consider your own body, for example. It could be thought of as a temporary vessel made of this universe to house your soul, which will go on forever. You truly are an extension of the powers that created the entire universe, and my magic-sight can see you are progressing quite well. So long as you continue to practice, I have no doubt you’ll soon achieve the results you seek.”

“Can’t I just skip to the part where I’m awesome?” Xander begrudgingly asked.

“No matter the trade, no matter the person, practice is key to becoming, as you would say, awesome.” Xander snorted at how strange such a modern word sounded coming from such an old guy.

Merlin moved on to Xander’s final query. “I am against permanent physical augmentations, of any kind, however, that does not mean none exist; there are quite a few, in fact. As you can no doubt see from my memories, there are methods ranging from spells to potions to enchantments that provide some semblance of results. However, I personally have not used them.”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m asking what you would recommend,” Xander replied.

“While your physical form is capable of harnessing magic, I can sense a malediction common with those not gifted in the art.” Xander rolled his eyes at his monkey-paw magic again. Merlin continued saying, “However, you already have, what I believe to be the best means by which to enhance your physical form.”

Confused, Xander asked, “I do?”

“Are you not blessed with the talent of a forge master?” Merlin’s voice danced around him in the dark void of his mind. “Despite the difficulty, clerics of the forge are just as capable of producing the results you seek.”

As ever, Merlin pointed the aimless teen in the right direction, and Xander once again trained as Eitri. Not only did he spend months renewing the legendary dwarf’s methods, mimicking strikes until the teen’s was tuned perfectly with the dwarf’s, but he also looked into the meta-materials he could use to help entice magic into his constructs. Xander repeatedly searched deeply into runes he could put in the weapon to enhance his physical form, not unlike Prince Adam in He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.

After Xander was done with Eitri, he laid in his bed, using his arms as pillows under his head, and thought of the key to getting past the day-loop. He recalled the time he did it on his own; using his older counterpart’s memories to swear to do better. Whether it was to Jenny, possibly his friends, or even himself, the first step seemed to be little more than standing up for himself. This time braid appeared to be as Merlin said, designed to alter something within Xander.

“I need to be better,” he softly voiced, before deciding to test the theory unlike he had before.

In the next several day-loops, Xander stood up for himself against Buffy, Giles, Angel, and even Larry, and each interaction allowed him to pass the one-day loop. As he absentmindedly killed Spike with a bazooka to loop back faster, he understood that the other cycles in the time braid were similar, if not exact. His Sherlock pattern within told him there was another component to passing the remaining loops, but it all boiled down to Xander being better than he was or will be.

To that end, Xander decided to be a soldier for Halloween again. Not a private in the Army, but a Navy SEAL. Though Ethan preferred the Royal Navy’s SBS & SAS over the US Navy SEAL, passionately boasting, “Britain’s military dominance in naval warfare is second to none! How could you possibly believe the SEALs are better when we were the very first to create elite counter-terrorism groups?!”

It took a few loops to settle the Englishman’s passionate devotion to Queen & Country, but eventually, Xander convinced the inscrutable chaos warlock to make him the costume; the price tag of which was double what he usually paid for a special order. Come 6 PM that night, Xander was bombarded by a wealth of invaluable knowledge. What a Navy SEAL knew over a private in the army was so immense, it was like comparing a college freshman to a Ph.D. professor.

Navy SEALs, the Spearhead of the US military force, had extensive training in firearms proficiency, tactical shooting, linguistics, cultural communication, intelligence gathering, first aid, sniping, close-quarters combat, evasion, and the best survival training in every type of weather and geography variation on the planet. They had access to the best technology and were constantly in hostile situations. Though Ethan wouldn’t agree, they were the best of the best.

The only issue Xander had, was getting the highly trained soldier to listen to ghost-Willow, which often led to the death of Buffy or Cordelia. After a couple of failures, the experienced time looper prepared a mission report beforehand that designated Willow as his field commander. After that, it was incredibly easy for her to direct him in any way she needed. The Navy SEAL saved Buffy and Cordelia, and even broke pirate-Larry’s nose with a rock-hard fist to the face.

After the night’s curse was lifted, Xander and Cordelia escorted the scared kids back to their parents, and the entire time, Xander reflected on his time as Cordelia’s boyfriend. In the previous long loop, they were as close as any loving couple could be, but walking beside the gorgeous cheerleader now, she didn’t remember a shred of their time together. He wasn’t sure if that was a gift or a curse. Xander messed their relationship up the first time by cheating on Cordelia with Willow, then he messed it up again by surrendering to his carnal desires and being fooled. Xander needed to do right by her, especially if his heart seemed incapable of completely letting Buffy go.

Walking toward Cordelia’s BMW after passing on the group of children to the teachers, Xander suggested to her, “If all this weird stuff is going to keep happening, you may want to invest in sensible shoes. Unless you like running around in high heels.”

She leveled him with sharp brown eyes before retorting, “It’s actually criminal for someone so style deficient to comment on other people’s fashion choices.”

Feeling their vibe once again, Xander playfully asked, “Whaaa? You don’t like my ‘Come Hither’ shirts and ‘Hip Grandpa’ jeans?” The way he swayed his hips and popped his shirt made Cordelia snort and laugh for a second before quickly gathering herself, as he figured she might.

“Oh, no,” she replied. “I like them exactly where they belong, in a dumpster fire.” When she saw him near the passenger door of her luxury car, she asked, “Uh, where are you going?”

In a higher tone of voice, he asked with raised eyebrows, “Gimme a lift?”

She sighed as her shoulders deflated, but nevertheless replied, “Oh, fine, but stay low. I’d rather people not know I associate with dweebs like you.”

They got in her luxury car before Xander jocularly returned, “Oh, you don’t need to worry about that, Cor. Even if anyone saw us, I’m sure they’d only sense my pain.”

As always, they enjoyed bickering all the way to his house. Having spent as much time with her as he did in the previous long loop, he could see a rough version of the girl who could eventually feel so much love for him. That insight allowed Xander to see how she’s hiding her zest for their back-and-forth camaraderie and it made him feel just as content.

After Cordelia dropped him off, Xander looked at his home and decided to continue to the next loop. He promised himself he’d be better and woke up the following morning to November 1st. Then came the hassle of dealing with Ted Buchanan. Rather than destroy the robot in its lair, Xander simply made the machine inoperable and anonymously reported the bunker to the police. Hopefully, the proof that it was a robot and not a scammer won’t cause Mrs. Summers to drink and sleep with Giles.

Xander won fourteen out of twenty $1000 quick-win scratch-off tickets he typically bought and promptly started selling them to everyone throughout the week, only giving Giles, Ms. Calendar, and Mrs. Summers a discount. He used the money to make his deal with Pete and forge at Wild Dinks. Lastly, hoping to get rid of his body’s sluggish brittleness, he began working out intensely every morning. With the Navy SEAL pattern in his head, he found pushing himself to the very limits of his strength to be less of a struggle.

Xander warned Buffy about Ford and enlisted the help of Angel to convince her. After Ford spun his tale of blackmail, Buffy once again gave her old friend the benefit of the doubt. When the pair were alone in the library, preparing to go to the vampire club, Xander was once again reminded of her words, ‘How could I not when you…’ That half-sentence was never far from his thoughts when she was around. They were nearly ready to go when he felt a growing need to say something.

Xander sympathetically expressed, “You don’t want to believe me about Ford, and I get that. I know I wouldn’t believe it if you told me Willow was a crack addict.”

“I wouldn’t believe it if she passed me the needle,” Buffy affirmed.

Xander smirked before confessing, “I just want you to know, I’m sorry if it turns out he’s not the guy you thought he was.”

Looking at him as if touched by his words, Buffy replied, “Thanks, Xander. I appreciate that.”

Ford didn’t turn out to be the man Buffy hoped, however, unlike previous loops, Xander showed up at the cemetery just as Ford popped out of the ground. Before Buffy could stake her childhood friend, Xander shot Ford in the heart with the wooden bolt of a crossbow, turning him to dust. Giles and Buffy were surprised to see him there, and when she asked him why, Xander responded, “I know what it’s like to stake a friend. I asked myself if I could help you avoid that, would I? So, here I am.”

Truly grateful, Buffy happily conveyed with a smile on her face, “I’m glad you are.” The beautiful slayer gave him an affectionate hug. Thinking of her words, ‘How could I not when…’ he happily returned the embrace before the three left the cemetery together.

Despite impressing Buffy with the Ford situation, Xander wasn’t able to convince her something was amiss with Giles. She simply didn’t want to believe it. However, Xander was patient and responded, “I know he’s Mr. By The Book, on top of being your watcher, but I’m telling you there’s something not right here. And I’m not just talking about the dead body back there. I’m telling you, this is like Ford.”

“Giles and Ford are nothing alike,” Buffy insisted.

With a sigh, Xander replied, “You know, I know I bring the best funnies to our ragtag band of mistfits, but that doesn’t mean that I’m the joke.”

“Xander-” she tried, but he walked away.

With that defiant assertion, Xander entered the one-month loop. Mark of Eyghon turned out to be a big deal and Xander let it play out as before; only, he didn’t visit the traumatized Jenny afterward. The teen visited his computer teacher during school hours. Eying the despondent woman at her desk, he thought of how angry he should feel for what she did; lost Giles to Joyce, lost her morals, then magically doped Buffy and Cordelia, all because of a broken heart. However, at the moment, this Jenny didn’t do any of that. The Jenny in front of him was suffering from having been possessed by a demon and Xander could only feel sorry for her.

Walking up to the beautiful teacher, Xander felt in his bones how much he wanted to give Jenny a better life this time. He didn’t want her to suffer needlessly. As he had before, he gave her the scratch-off lotto ticket and asked her how she was doing. He made sure she knew he was always available to talk, which she appreciated. Then Xander asked for her assistance in learning about Angel’s curse, and unsurprisingly, she consented.

Because of Kendra, Xander stressfully debated stealing Du Lac’s Cross earlier than normal. Drusilla was the sole reason Kendra came to Sunnydale. If he stole and melted the gold cross down, Spike wouldn’t be able to revitalize Drusilla to full strength, which meant the attractive vampire should eventually wither away.

‘Unless something else revitalizes her,’ he absentmindedly thought.

Xander couldn’t be sure, but the other side of his internal debate was a mix between helping the gorgeous Jamaican on her crippling social weakness and his aching blue balls. Xander hadn’t had sex in a long time, and his weakness for beautiful women was overriding his higher reasoning. Of course, he didn’t have to sleep with Kendra to help break her out of her sheltered shell, however, he didn’t think he was be strong enough to resist her when he had been sexless for several loops.

‘No one gets their heart broken, and she’ll be more accustomed to men,’ his mind rationalized. ‘That’s a win-win.’

Xander decided to leave the Du Lac Cross in the mausoleum and repeated sleeping with Kendra. since Xander remembered to keep condoms nearby, their night of debauchery did not end soon. The talented boy knew how to stimulate Kendra’s sexy body. The hormonal teen had a lot of pent-up energy she was happy to spend until the sweaty bodies climaxed together for the tenth time. Despite Kendra’s carnal awakening, they talked once her competitive Slayer aggressiveness settled down. The sheltered slayer was worried & anxious, and, as he had before, he helped her through it.

Xander and Cordelia had their first kiss in Buffy’s basement for the seventh time. It felt so good to kiss her again, he felt guilty. Feeling such pleasure from the girl he hurt because she had no way of remembering what he did was pulverizing his morality. Escaping the Latvian worm assassin, Xander felt scummy about the entire situation. However, he couldn’t exactly see how this could be avoided; not strictly with Cordelia, but with everyone. So long as no one remembered the previous loops, all his interactions will involve a measure of deceit.

Because of his time crisis, Xander will always know more personal details about everyone he met, and he’d have to pretend to know less than he actually did simply to make life easier for everyone. To tell them the truth would only complicate matters, and risk looping back. Also, deep down, Xander had to wonder if he was using his loved ones to live his days without always thinking about being trapped in his time prison.

‘Dr. Manhattan said, ‘the world may grow dull from our perception, however, seen from another vantage point, a new gaze may still take our breath away.’ Maybe I’m hoping for the same thing; Living life normally by looking at it through their unknowing eyes,’ Xander wondered as they reached the school.

Xander and Cordelia soon met Kendra in the library again, where they all realized Xander was right about a second Slayer. They rescued Angel, brought the ceiling down on Spike & Drusilla, and Xander recovered the golden cross with Kendra’s help. He made certain the Jamaican slayer gave her Watcher his phone number in case the man had any questions regarding Kendra’s blind spot with men.

“I know you’re a Vampire Slayer,” he freely admitted. “But vampires aren’t the only evil out there. If a bad guy, who’s more on the handsome side, found out who you are and wanted to sell you to demon bosses or vampires, how are you going to see the danger if you’re nervous and looking down all the time? Someone lacking social skills or world experience can fall prey to those kinds of traps, and I don’t want that to happen to you.”

Kendra seemed to understand the potential threat and returned to Jamaica, hopefully, wiser because of it.

Xander and Cordelia kissed once again later that day in school, then every day that week. He still used edge play to bring her pleasure close to the peak, then stopping moments before the promised waves of euphoria. Teasing Cordelia mercilessly with a delay of supreme satisfaction built stamina and whet her appetite for more, and as ever, he could see the frustration building within her.

In the meantime, when Xander checked on Jenny. She was nearly finished with the translations. Then he took the opportunity to ask how she was doing. The listless teacher smiled weakly before responding, “Xander, you don’t have to worry about me.”

“Sure I do,” he returned without breaking eye contact. “As the gang’s leading member in being possessed, I can tell you it’s not a cake-walk to come back from. Deflectionary humor goes up a whopping 120%, and it takes a lot of twinkies before you finally start feeling better. Well, twinkies and friends. And we’ll be here whenever you’re ready.”

With a grateful smile, Jenny brightly replied, “Thank you. That’s very sweet of you to care.”

“It’s my superpower,” he returned with his trademark smirk. “That and fixing windows.”

When his relationship with Cordelia edged closer to a label, rather than try to present the option of a serious relationship, Xander reluctantly admitted, “If that’s what you want, okay. We don’t have to be a couple.”

As before, they were in the supply closet, and with the light on, he could see the confusion come across her face before she asked, “We don’t?” He shrugged and nodded, and Cordelia seemed offended by that, asking, “What’s that supposed to mean? Are you like, trying to use reverse psychology to get me to be your girlfriend?”

Surprised by her train of thought, he slowly answered, “Uuuuuh, no. I’m just saying, if you feel what we’re doing is fine… then… I agree.”

The beautiful cheerleader eyed him with such disappointment that it confused Xander. Then she asserted, “That’s just pathetic. And I’m not falling for it.”

“It’s not a trick, Cor,” Xander tried to assure her, wondering about the topsy-turvy direction this conversation was going. He could’ve sworn this conversation would be as simple as 1s and 0s, but for some reason, Cordelia was throwing out shapes and letters. “I’m being serious,” he tried. “I just think you’re right. This feels really good the way it is. Plus, I think I’m getting addicted to hearing your sweet little moans. Why ruin that?”

Despite the blush creeping on her cheeks, an indignant Cordelia asked, “Oh, so, now you think I don’t deserve to be your girlfriend? Like I’m going to be the one to ruin it? That’s rich coming from King Dweebo of Loser-ville.”

“Whoa, hey,” he voiced out, feeling that defensive spirit rising within him. “So now I can’t even agree with you? Is your common sense set on reverse today?”

“You just seem sooo sure I wouldn’t be the absolute best girlfriend you’d ever have!”

Returning with equal fervor, Xander retorted, “And you actually think you would?!”

“Obviously!”

“Oh, so now you want to be my girlfriend?”

“Yes! ...Wait.” At her cutely confused expression, Xander was in disbelief when she asserted, “You tricked me!”

The conversation hadn’t gone at all as he planned and he shook his head as he replied, “As if I had the time or patience to think that crazy.” Giving her an out, he asked, “Do you want to take it back?” The stunning cheerleader was in silent turmoil, like waging an internal war between her mind and heart, and after several moments, Xander slowly voiced, “Cordelia?”

Her extreme confusion was written on her face, so Xander slowly cupped the sides of her face and kissed her deeply. She melted into their delicate kiss. And when she leaned into his frame, he wrapped a hand around her thin waist to keep her flush against him.

When he eventually pulled away, she was in a daze before regaining her temperament and aggressively voicing, “Ugh! When you do things like that and I get all confused!”

Xander didn’t hold back his smile, seeing the dull world grow brighter from her view. “So,” he started. “Why don’t we just keep doing what we’re doing until you’re not confused?”

Her brown eyes focused on his words before she slowly replied, “Like… doing this thing until I get over the mental dysfunction I’m clearly suffering from? Oh! You can cure me of any nerds, geeks, or dweebs I could tragically find attractive in the future?”

With a grossed-out face, he asked, “Do I look like some sort of geek-vaccine to you?”

“Now that you mention it,” she threw back with a snide smirk.

Xander leveled a smirk right back before answering, “Fine.” Squeezing her hip and lower back, he finished, “You want a geek-vaccine? I’ll come over tonight and give you your first injection.” Pressing her body firmly against him, he leaned forward, and she was ready to accept his lips once again. Just as his nose caressed hers and her lips felt the warm presence of his pillowy lips, Xander pulled away, foiling her hormonal desires once again.

“See you tonight,” he said to the sexually charged girl, then left. Outside of the supply closet, Xander’s mind was reeling from pondering how Cordelia just became an even deeper fixture in his life when he was trying to pull away.

After Xander and Buffy saved everyone from the egg parasites, he met Cordelia that night, preparing the entire time to avoid the past heartaches. Since he spent most of the day with Buffy, Xander was conscious of how he was leading Cordelia on, and he hated the idea of hurting her again. He stopped by her house after working at the forge. He still smelled of wood, fire, and steel, and when she opened the door, her beauty shut his brain down. Alluring as ever, the gorgeous cheerleader let him in, and he knew breaking it off here would be for the best in the long run.

In her large and opulent living room, Xander turned to her and teasingly asked, “You gonna thank me for saving your life from a brain-hijacking parasite?”

She teased right back, “I let you in, didn’t I?”

Moving closer to the stunning girl, he playfully remarked, “Odd that didn’t sound like, ‘thank you, Xander, for saving my life. And I’m oh so sorry for ever thinking an airhead like me could ever make someone as amazing as you jealous.’”

Cordelia couldn’t snort hard enough before she retorted, “With delusional narcissism like that, you clearly need to be in a psych ward more than my house. As if I’d ever apologize-”

Xander pulled her to him, and their lips snapped together. His hand stroked her neck, jaw, and lustrous brunette hair, kissing her deeply as he tilted his head and tongued her oral cavity. His other hand massaged her waist, hip, and lower back with just the right amount of pressure and motion. Her arms wrapped possessively around his neck as his mouth moved down to her sensitive neck.

“Mnnn,” she moaned with closed eyes. Her body was a single mass of burning desire since he left her in that storage closet. Xander could feel her fiery lust for the release he’s been denying her all week. Then he pulled away. “Wha…?”

Her eyes were black pools of desire as he clarified to the sexy girl, “I thought you wanted your injection.” He kissed her before saying, “I thought you wanted to be cured of me.” He kissed her again, then lifted the stunning girl before moving her to the couch as he said, “The only time I’m stopping is when you say the word.”

They kissed once again while Xander’s hands deftly removed her silk shorts and matching panties. Soon his skillful hand folded over her dripping warm sex. Cordelia moaned into Xander’s mouth when he began fingering her wet cunt while massaging and kneading her large breasts till her nipples were rock hard. Cordelia only felt hotter and her body itched madly for more. Sensing the twitching need of her flush body, Xander broke their kiss to move his mouth between her legs.

Cordelia sat back bonelessly in the seat of her comfortable couch, her sex-starved flesh moaning for more. Xander’s talented mouth focused on her clit as he continued to finger her, sucking loudly on the pink bud as his pussy-compressed fingers effortlessly curled right on the budding bundle of her G-spot, making Cordelia moan deep from her taut stomach.

“OOHH…. MY…. MMMNNN! FFFUUUUCCC- HOW ARE YOU! Right there! Yess!! MMMnn,” she moaned. Tongue, fingers, and hands worked in perfect synchronization on her sweating flesh for several minutes. And after days of his constant teasing, frustrating her leaking womanhood to the point she’s felt hot and bothered all day, Cordelia felt the pleasure coil swell incredibly fast. Cordelia’s hands gripped fist-full of Xander’s raven-colored hair when the girl’s hips shivered helplessly and her pussy contracted violently.

“Xander! I’m cumming, I’m cumming, I’m cumming! You’re gonna make me- You’re gonna make me cummmmmmmnnnn,” she screamed when her love tunnel erupted in an intense orgasm, overflowing his pumping fingers with her sweet honey. The half-naked girl shuddered as her spine arched and her legs quivered while ecstasy spread from her cunt, up her spine, and into her brain. Cordelia was in a daze for several minutes before finally acknowledging the boy massaging her thighs with half-lidded eyes.

He smiled at her before asking, “Think you’re cured yet?”

“Haah, haah, uh, m-maybe?” the panting girl tried. “Or… maybe not? I don’t know. We’ll have to, uh…”

“Try again tomorrow?” he asked. She nodded, and they did.

The more Xander thought about it, the idea of curing her of him didn’t sound bad. It felt like there might be an amicable end to that relationship, and that was his primary goal all along. Xander and Cordelia continued meeting in secret around school and work for a couple of weeks, and Xander appreciated how they weren’t on a collision course to breaking her trust and making him feel like shit.

Their meetings were light, fun, and always orgasmic. The beginning was heavy petting and kissing. Once they graduated to hand jobs, it wasn’t long before they were pleasuring each other orally, of which Cordelia was ecstatic about. She couldn’t know why he was so capable of getting her off better than anyone she’d ever dated, but Cordelia was in a euphoric tizzy about his skill. She played it off as if she wasn’t excited to see him, then jumped him the moment he came over. Though he was worried the geek-vaccine wasn’t working, he worried more about his future when Jenny finally gave him the translation of Angel’s curse.

The day Xander made it out of the one-month loop, he asked Buffy to meet him at Dinks. It was late, and the others had already gone home to their families. Xander was finishing a final polish of a double-edged Excalibur when Buffy showed up. “Early Christmas gifts happen to be my fav, you know.” Xander turned to see Buffy walking the aisle between all the heavy-duty machinery.

When he turned with the sword in hand, the beautiful slayer stopped in her tracks. This loop’s Buffy hadn’t been to the forge yet, so she’s never seen him with his forging gear on or a weapon he’s made in his hand. He wanted to give Buffy the best, but sadly, he wasn’t there yet. After speaking the incantation, the Excalibur sword in his hands only became his latest failure. It’s fortunate Pete could sell all of his pieces since they’re a cut above anything else in the shop, but the money only helped his financial life. A magical weapon is what he truly wanted.

“Xander!” Buffy exclaimed, rushing up to him. She eyed the weapon from end to end as she excitedly asked, “Did you make that?”

The young smith enjoyed the look of awe on her alluring face. It gave him a boost of energy as he answered, “Sure did. Lots of dwarf sweat, elven tears, and human blood went into this.”

“I’m going to pretend I know what that means and nod,” she easily admitted with a smile. “Can I?”

Xander escorted the strong girl to the testing sight behind Dinks. Under the night sky, he set up six rolled-up tatami mats side-by-side on the rig. While she waited, she expertly twirled and spun the sword in her hand. Then he let her have at it. The tightly rolled tatami mats were supposed to be comparable to the density of human bone and muscle. With her strength, dexterity, and skill, wielding one of the sharpest and strongest weapons he’s made thus far, Buffy cut through rolled mats like they were made of wet noodles. From right to left, all six cut rungs fell one at a time to the grass below.

Buffy leaped and skipped toward him as the bubbly blonde cooed, “Xander! I am thoroughly wowed! I can’t believe you made this!”

Hand to his heart, Xander playfully responded, “You wound me. Wounded I say!” She leveled him with an amused smile, then he reminded her, “I meant it when I said I wanted to help you, Buffy.”

“Well, this bad boy definitely passes the highly stringent and prestigious Slayer slashy test,” she played back as she looked over the luminous blade as it caught the moonlight. “Job well done, really.”

“Thanks, but I’m not there yet,” he glumly admitted. “I’m hoping to make something really special one day.”

Buffy whirled at the statement, adding, “I don’t know how you could top this, but if it’s possible, I’m sure you can do it.”

That was so nice to hear. Xander had to ask, “Really?”

“Of course,” Buffy stated, as if that were obvious.

“Thanks,” he slowly replied. “You know, lately, I’ve been thinking that I’m focusing too much on repeating what I learned and not feeling out the billet that’s in front of me; almost like I’m bullying it into what I want. And they always say to listen to the material. I just hadn’t taken that seriously until now, because I just wanted to copy what I saw.”

“I know the feeling,” Buffy admitted. “When I fight, most of the time I can do what I want, but when they’re just as fast and strong, I have to take my time and feel how they come at me.”

“Yeah,” Xander easily agreed, recalling how Achilles, Sherlock, and Casanova do the same. “I think the next piece I do is going to be the best yet.”

“I stand not-so-patiently waiting,” Buffy cheerfully professed. “So, what’d you want to talk to me about?”

“Actually, we’re waiting for one more.”

“Who?”

“He’ll be here soon.”

Buffy practiced with the sword as they talked, and Angel eventually showed up. The beautiful slayer grew confused by his attendance and turned to her friend for answers. Xander took the printed curse out of his pocket, all the while saying, “I’m sure you’re both wondering why I asked you here. You should know upfront, you’re not going to like what I have to say. I wouldn’t be surprised if you hate me for it, but there’s really no way around it. It has to be said.”

Xander could see the cheer deflate from her as she sarcastically voiced, “Okay, that’s not ominous at all. What is it?” He handed them a copy of Angel’s curse, and as ever, the tall vampire understood it better than Buffy. He wondered if she even knew she was shaking her head as she read the details of the curse. Her greenish-blue eyes snapped on to him before she asked, “Xander… what is this?”

All the humor and levity between them was gone and Xander sympathetically answered, “Angel’s ensouling curse, and how to break it.”

Buffy re-read it, shaking her head in amusement before arguing, “This can’t be true. It says a moment of happiness, but we’re already happy.”

“That’s not the true happiness it’s talking about,” Xander slowly replied.

Angel began to walk away, likely uncomfortable with showing any emotion in front of Xander. The teen then made it clear to both of them, “If you stay together, Angel eventually turns back to Angelus.” Angel stopped, then turned to glare at Xander, but it had no effect. The unfazed boy simply continued, “You know that’s one vampire who’d love to torment Buffy.”

“This is wrong, Xander,” Buffy called out. “It’s not true!” Rushing to the distraught Angel, her hands were on his chest as she looked up to plead with him, “Don’t believe him! Hey, don’t! Xander’s always joking around, okay? This is just another joke! A terrible, horrible joke. But a joke.”

“Have Giles verify-”

“Shut up!” she heatedly directed at Xander. “Just don’t say anything else, or… or I’ll believe you did this out of spite!”

The raven-haired teen didn’t listen and stated, “Angel doesn’t want to be Angelus any more than the rest of us do-”

“STOP TALKING, XANDER!” she yelled at him. “That’s just your jealousy talking!”

With clear pain and misery in his voice, Angel began saying, “Buffy-”

However, the desperate girl interjected, “Angel, listen, he’s lying, okay? I know him, and I’m telling you he’s lying. He wants to break us up, so, so, just… just wait and see, okay? You’ll see this is nothing. This means nothing!”

Sadly, Angel could only repeat, “It’s true, Buffy,” as if it were a death sentence with no stay of execution.

“No,” she gasped, shaking her sad blonde head in adamant refusal. “No, Angel. D-Don’t say that,” the progressively crestfallen girl pleaded. “Don’t say that!”

Angel began walking away, and Buffy moved to follow him when she realized she still had Xander’s sword in her hand. Without thought, she threw it toward Xander and buried the blade in the wood wall behind him, a foot away from his head; A demonstration of her anger and the control of not killing him. Turning, he noted how deep the sword was buried and let out a long sigh.

After they left, Xander called Willow and warned her that Buffy would be needing her support for a while. Additionally, he told her not to worry about him because he’d be fine. He then called Giles and told him what happened. Though Giles thanked him for the warning, he chastised the teen thoroughly for leaving him—Buffy’s Watcher—out of such a delicate situation. As expected, Buffy didn’t want to see him the following day and banned him from Slayer business and he spent most of his time working out, at the forge, or with Cordelia.

Toward the end of December, Cordelia went to Vegas with her parents for Christmas, and though Xander got to spend some time with Willow and exchanged gifts, he largely spent the holidays on his own at the forge, paying closer attention to the white-hot metal and how it reacted to his strikes. Gaining the sense he was on the precipice of an amazing next step, he focused all his attention on his work instead of the slow-moving minutes of his loneliness.

The short sword he worked on had the runes of ᛊ ᛋ, sōwilō, or Sun and Power, and ᚾ, naudiz, or Need. He was hoping to make a sword that was strong and would kill vampires as easily as the sun. Through perseverance, hundreds of hours, and plenty of failures, he held up his latest sword, freshly sharpened to perfection, and spoke the invocation.

“Finalrinn step með ljós á ok fire lit. Minn always koming heima.”

And to Xander’s everliving surprise, the short-sword vibrated, as if a lot of wind rushed into it. Xander felt his knees become like paper when the entire weapon became mildly brighter before dimming. It didn’t simply lose its luster, but its visibility, as if it were turning invisible but stopped halfway. It was the first time any magical force, no matter how small, took shelter in one of his constructs, and he felt like a bundle of bursting energy.

Xander was giddy and rejuvenated as he screamed in the empty forge like he scored the game-winner after a long, hard-fought game. So many attempts, so many failures, and this was his first-ever success. He gazed at the half-disappeared short-sword in triumphant awe, then giggled.

After what felt like an hour of admiring the progress he’d made, and spontaneous giggle-fits, Xander wondered if the sword had any other abilities. He used the runes for Need because he wanted to call the sword to his hand like Thor called on Mjölnir, as well as Sun and Power because he wanted it to have the power of the sun. He used all three runes as Eitri would, but for some reason, the short-sword didn’t equal the outcome Xander wanted and he didn’t know why. In addition, he also wondered if the sword could become completely invisible. Having a sword in one’s hand that no one could see would certainly be a boon in battle.

As Sherlock would often tell him, ‘test, test, test.’

Xander took the elvish-looking short-sword to Restfield cemetery and patrolled for a vampire to behead. He came across one an hour later, and despite it being faster and stronger than him, the creature of the night wasn’t adept at combat. Despite that, Xander was cautious. He never fought this vampire before, and the possibility of looping back made him nervous enough to stay hyper-vigilant.

As the practiced Xander used his footing, the landscape, and the sword to equalize their differences in strength, he also felt excited. He hadn’t fought a vampire in a while, and he was eager to see if the magical sword would do more than the typical slicing. He hoped for electricity, but his nerd heart truly held hopes for making the blade glow like a lightsaber. If he could be anything like a Jedi, he’d die a happy man. Sadly, the short sword did nothing. It stayed perfectly visible; it didn’t burn or electrocute anything upon contact. It didn’t boost his speed or strength. It was just an incredibly strong and sharp sword.

Unwilling to push his luck, Xander stopped dragging the fight out, used his footing to pivot, and cut off its left hand. While the vampire screamed, Xander swiped and decapitated it, turning it into dust. He patrolled for another hour before deciding to try again the following night. On his way home, however, Xander ran into a small group of vampires, two from Spike’s crew, Doug Jeffries, and the jock’s brothers. The six were soon in front of him, looking at the teen like dinner. Despite the sheathed sword in his hand, Xander’s mind instantly understood a strategic retreat was his best option of surviving the group of murderers without life-threatening injuries.

Before he selected a route that would be advantageous to him, Xander challenged Doug to a one-on-one while the others watched. Xander began his strategy by throwing a rock and pretending to miss horribly. Their laughter distracted them from Xander’s first strike, a quick slice of Doug’s neck, then Xander started sprinting as fast as he could. He hoped he’d get past the first house and cut through backyards, but the vampires were on him inside of thirty seconds. And Doug’s brothers were furious.

Xander sliced at them whenever they tried to grab him. His balance while sprinting would wobble with their attacks, but he’d cut one, or slice off the finger of another one, getting them to back off a second longer as he ran. He’d wound to hinder the vampires as he kept going. Even when being shoved like he was hit by a car, he’d force himself to roll with the momentum and get back on his feet as he sliced around him with a deft hand. Xander managed to behead another vampire before the final four surrounded him.

Xander was resigning himself to repeating everything all over again when Angel rushed in to help. The pair of them finished the remaining four before Xander dropped to his knees, winded and hurting all over. He was massaging his incredibly tender and throbbing forearms, certain he had bone bruises.

Angel asked in clear puzzlement, “Since when did you learn how to fight?”

Wincing, Xander stood as he answered, “Oh, you know… Street Fighter II is surprisingly instructive; been working on my Hadouken too.”

When Xander groaned as he got up, Angel genuinely asked, “You okay?”

“Yeah,” the teen wheezed. He wedged the sword under his armpit as he clapped the dirt from his hands. “Thanks for the assist.”

The tall vampire nodded before nodding at the sword and asking, “Is that a new one?”

Xander followed his eye-line to his sword, then presented it to him as he answered, “Yeah.”

The vampire took the sword, removed it from its scabbard, and inspected the sharp and shiny blade. “Nice,” he voiced.

“Keep it,” Xander bluntly said. When Angel looked at him for more of an explanation, the young smithy added, “For saving my bacon.” He felt weird about it because he didn’t care about Angel, however, it also felt right. With nothing more to say, Xander turned to walk home, then Angel followed. Xander didn’t tell him to back off. He simply allowed the vampire to follow him home.

When they neared Xander’s house, the vampire asked, “How’s Buffy?”

“Not sure,” Xander voiced. “She hasn’t talked to me since that day.”

“So you thought you’d start slaying vampires by yourself?” he casually asked. “Get on her good side?”

“I just wanted to test the sword,” he answered. “I don’t exactly have any super-powered friends to ask at the moment.”

“Fair enough,” Angel said. “Don’t stay out late anymore. There’s been more activity than usual. Something’s coming.”

Xander felt odd talking to Angel for so long, and about his safety—as if the vampire cared—but he replied, “Good bet Spike and Drusilla are behind it.”

“They’re dead.”

“Did you see bodies?”

“It would be dust,” the vampire pointed out.

“Fine, did you see piles of dust?” Xander corrected.

“How can you be sure they’re alive?”

“Just a hunch, I guess,” he answered with a shrug.

When Xander walked up his driveway to enter his home, Angel offered, “If you need someone to test your weapons, just leave a note on my door.”

Xander turned to look at him. Their odd partnership was just like before, unnatural then as it is now. But with a mild understanding between them, Xander nodded as he voiced, “Okay.”

When Cordelia returned from her Christmas vacation with her parents, she was upset by the black and blue sight of him. However, he enjoyed her nursing care, even if she was more like the stern, crabby nurse than the gentle, sweet one. He got to spend New Years with the stunning girl in her little black dress, and he rang in the new year on the receiving end of a blow job. His birthday was the day they first had sex in this loop, but she was the one with the pleasant surprise. Xander made her orgasm so hard, no sound escaped her wide-open mouth as her body quaked and quivered with unmitigated ecstasy. The sex they had every night after was mind-bending. He’d tease her during the day and rocked her world when they met at night.

He was at a better point in this long loop than he was in the previous one due to Cordelia and his forging breakthrough. If it weren’t for her and his hammer, he wouldn’t be able to stand how much he missed Willow, Buffy, Giles, and Scooby business. Xander kept his focus on what he could, and worked on a second sword. For nearly a month, he worked on another short Excalibur, with the runes of ᚾᚨᛚᛟ; Need, Power, Sacred, Heritage/Possession. Then he spoke the incantation.

“Finalrinn step með ljós á ok fire lit. Minn always koming heima,” he said in Old Norse.

Not unlike his previous successful construct, the sword vibrated. Then it brightened with more light than his previous construct. Nothing blinding, but brighter. Then it faded away. The sword felt alive in his hand, like a small current flowing through it. Then nothing. The four runes he hammered into the folding of the steel—Need, Power, Sacred, Worthy—gave Xander an idea of what the blade could do, but he wouldn’t know until he saw it in action. It was the most excitingly new thing he’d felt in a long time. Sex with Cordelia kept him sane, but forging magical weapons gave him purpose.

Xander left a note on Angel’s door the next morning to test the new sword, but he didn’t see the vampire for several days. He was close to going to a graveyard himself when he finally showed up, though not by himself. Giles, Willow, and Buffy were right behind him and they needed his help.