Dropping Bombs

Hammering away on his anvil, a sweaty and tired Xander was interrupted by a call from Giles. It was mid-morning, and the watcher asked him to check on Buffy since he hadn’t heard from her. Without thinking, he mentioned it would take a while to get to Buffy’s house, and it was only when Giles mentioned, “Ask Cordelia to give you a ride,” that he remembered what part of the loop they’re on. Xander called Cordelia for a ride. Forcing her to get out of bed on a Saturday morning didn’t endear him to her, but she came anyway.

Naturally, the guys at the shop teased him mercilessly for having a girlfriend way out of his league. One would say, “No, no, no fellas. He won her over with his sparkling personality.” They’d laugh before the next one would add, “His hammer ain’t that big!” Walking to Cordelia’s car, he snickered when one said, “Hey, hey, come on now. You know how funny Harris is. With knock-knock jokes like his, he could land Pam Anderson if he wanted!” Though they laughed hard, Xander had to hold in his laughter as he entered the passenger side of Cordelia’s beamer.

On the way to Buffy’s, Xander stayed quiet. Cordelia didn’t seem appreciative of being dragged out of bed, and it was clear she needed time to settle down. Fortunately, it gave him time to think. The young teen had a decision to make. Either he let events run as they had before, or he got rid of the Bug Guy before anything happened. More importantly, should he kiss Cordelia, or remain as they are? Sneaking a look at the silent cheerleader beside him, the way she glared at him and asked, “What!” he couldn’t help but think how cute she was.

In Buffy’s house, Xander went upstairs, then leaned against the wall and waited. As she had before, Cordelia let the Latvian worm assassin into the house, then the pair eventually rushed to the cellar where they shared their second, first kiss; only his hands held her body in that passionate way she liked. Xander’s fairly certain they kissed a little longer before bolting away from each other, and escape felt imperative then. After running through a shower of worms, and washing themselves off with the water hose, the teenagers jumped into her BMW, then raced away.

“Kendra!” Xander called when he saw her in the library, instantly making everyone wonder how he knew her name.

It appeared she had left his home wearing his older middle school clothes. The caramel beauty had a multi-colored striped button-up over a white V-neck t-shirt; only the sleeves were rolled up and the front tails of the shirt were tied in a knot to make the larger shirt more form-fitting. He wasn’t sure if she went through his jeans, but she found some from his skateboarding days. They fit her fairly well and had a few tears around the knees, giving her a bit of a punk look. Along with her boots, it was an odd outfit her stunning beauty made fashionable.

Standing straighter, Kendra paled at the sight of him and was fearful when Buffy curiously asked Xander, “You know her?”

Walking in casually, despite still being damp, he told everyone, “Yeah. I ran into her last night. She was kinda on the homeless side, so I let her crash at my place.” Kendra couldn’t calm down when Giles, a watcher, and Buffy, a sister-slayer, looked at her curiously, so Xander added, “It should go without saying, I slept on the couch.”

Turning to Xander in disbelief, Giles asked, “Truly?”

“Obviously,” Xander returned, mildly offended. “Geez, Giles, I’m not that kind of guy.” Even if he definitely slept with her, it hurt that his lie was so easily doubted.

“No- Of course- That’s not what I-” Giles quickly retorted, then simply moved on to say, “That you met is quite the coincidence considering your connection with Buffy.”

Kendra just nodded sheepishly, blushing adorably through her caramel skin. Xander pointed out to the girl, “These are my friends.” Turning to Buffy and Willow, he added, “I was going to ask you guys if you could lend her some clothes, since she doesn’t have much on.”

“This could not get any weirder,” a puzzled Buffy voiced, shaking her golden-blonde head.

Playing along, Xander asked, “Am I missing something?”

“Xander,” Giles began, though it was clear he didn’t want to admit being wrong about a second slayer. “Kendra is- well, it would appear you were correct in your assumption of a second Slayer.”

“Hold the Bat-phone,” the geek gasped as he turned to Kendra. “You’re a Slayer? Just like Buffy?”

“Not like Buffy,” the blonde sternly corrected. Giving the stoic Kendra a once-over, she declared, “I have a better sense of fashion.”

“Those are my clothes, actually,” Xander flatly stated.

Buffy winced, “Oh… sorry.”

Xander ignored it and turned to the others, calling out, “Wow, first we meet the grossest Order of Taraka member at Buffy’s, and now this. Weird!”

“Truly?” Giles asked, stepping closer to hear more.

“It must be fate, Kendra,” Xander happily told her. “You were destined to join the Scooby Gang…” At the thought of destiny, Xander brilliantly thought to ask the watcher, “Actually, Giles… What do we know about Fate? Like, can it mess with time, make time loops, or anything weird like that?”

“P-perhaps for another time, Xander,” Giles quickly brushed off before focusing on the matter at hand. “What did this Taraka member look like?”

At Cordelia’s perfectly timed scream, Xander pointed to the worm she chucked on the table. The gorgeous cheerleader was running to the showers as the boy said, “That.” They all leaned in closer to see the dead larva worm on the dark oak table, and most were grossed out.

“You and bugs, Xander,” Buffy casually remarked, to which he shrugged.

What surprised Xander in this loop was when they said Angel was missing. Everything about last night began to prevent Angel from being caught by Kendra and sold off to Spike. When Xander asked Buffy if she was sure, she maintained, “He never showed up at his apartment. I waited there all night.”

Feeling annoyed for missing something, Xander asked, “Where’d he go?”

Buffy answered, “To find out about the Taraka guy that attacked us.”

Naturally, Xander returned, “So why not ask the last guy Angel talked to? Isn’t there a demon bar or something you can go beat that info out of?”

Happily taken aback, a smiling Buffy couldn’t help but remark, “That, Xander, is the best thing anyone’s said all day.” Turning to Kendra, the blonde asked, “You coming? I could use the backup.”

Kendra turned to Giles who nodded, then the slayers left. Xander helped everyone with the research, finding the books much faster, and they quickly figured out who they were facing, where, and why. The gang rushed to the old rustic church out past route 60. Just as before, the cracked walls were covered in dried brown vines and leaves. Entering the aged church, there were dozens of candles around the room and Angel was in the same weakened state as last time; Tied together to Drusilla with the Du Lac golden dagger piercing through their joined hands.

Xander rarely thought about why certain things change in the time loop and others stay the same. Merlin had insight into how everything was connected through unforeseen forces, and how impossible it was to affect one thing without altering something else. The consequences can range anywhere from trivial to disastrous.

All he thought was, ‘Maybe delaying Kendra doesn’t work, and they got him some other way?’

Xander knew that if he wanted to learn how Angel was still captured, he’d have to spend several loops spying on all of them, but he didn’t like the idea of looping back for anything. Ultimately, it didn’t stop what the Scoobies had to do. Xander and Cordelia killed the Worm Guy, Buffy freed her boyfriend, and the abandoned church fell on Spike and Drusilla once again.

As much as he hated the blond vampire, it still made Xander’s heart stop painfully hard to see Spike nearly die. With all that weight flattening their bodies, it was a wonder the vampire duo didn’t die. When it seemed he wasn’t looping back, Xander got a ride back with Jenny while Cordelia drove Willow. Buffy insisted Kendra sleep at her house, so the Jamaican girl rode with her sister-slayer and Giles as they drove the weakened Angel to the vampire’s apartment.

The next day, Xander asked Kendra to help him get the Du Lac Cross, however, he did not ask her to stay in Sunnydale. When he eventually tells Buffy about Angel possibly turning into Angelus, he didn’t want anyone dying because of it again. Kendra left that day, and at school, Xander happily made out with Cordelia in an empty classroom. After school, she was kind enough to drive him to Wild Dinks, where they made out in her car.

One of the older smiths passing by hollered, “Is dat Harris neckin’ with some premium sugah?! Oh Christ, the boys ain’t gonna believe this! Everyone lost the bet!”

The embarrassed Xander opened the window and clapped back, “Is your ass jealous of the shit coming out of your mouth, Connors?” The older smith only laughed harder as he walked inside the metal shop.

Eying the older, bearded man laughing, Cordelia commented, “I can’t believe you actually do things that aren’t totally lame.” Looking at the building before turning to her passenger, she dryly added with a smirk, “Other than being a dweebo, I didn’t think you knew how to be good at anything else.”

“Thank you for once again proving evolution can go in reverse,” Xander casually came back. Eying the blushing beauty, he smirked as he added, “You shouldn’t be so shocked, Cor. You must know by now, this dweebo happens to be fantastic with his hands.”

Rolling her eyes and retorting, “Ugh, don’t remind me,” didn’t have as much impact when her cheeks blushed.

“No? You sure?” He softly asked as he leaned over to smother her with kisses. “Then what do you want me to remind you of?”

The teenage boy peppered the peppy girl with kisses, making the merry beauty laugh as she called out, “Xander!” Before long, they were making out again. When they could hear several of the smithies cheering Xander on, the pair broke apart and Xander got to work; though not without getting teased, “you Beast,” by the guys all day.

Throughout the week, Xander used his gained knowledge of Cordelia’s most sensitive spots to surpass any and every expectation she had of him, impressing her even more than he had in the previous long loop. Morning, noon, and after school, he often left her eager for more and observed the sting of arousal lasted longer this time. So, when Xander came over to her house, Cordelia didn’t even question why he came over. The aroused girl simply jumped him and they made out on her couch.

They took a break when their lips were red. Laying on their sides facing each other, his right hand massaged her hip, side, upper thighs, and lower back, keeping her in a perpetual state of pleasure. Her head rested on his left arm, and he rubbed her scalp through her silky brunette hair, making her moan at the buzzing delight. She felt too good for her, which was a problem for a unique girl like Cordelia.

Utterly satisfied in body but frustrated in mind, she leaned back and yelled, “Ooooh, God, how does a boy I hate make me feel so good?”

Cackling like Palpatine from Star Wars, the geek replied, “Yeeeess. Your suffering amuses me.”

Cordelia sagged under his gentle ministrations like she wanted to cry before calling out, “Really, God? Xander wasn’t bad enough, but a geek, too?”

The raven-haired boy snickered as he massaged her sexy body. Hugging the willing girl, he bemused, “Come on Cor, it’s not that complicated.” When she focused on his eyes, he finished, “You can’t hate someone so much without the potential of loving them just as much.”

“Ooohh, and I really hate you,” she said with serious eyes.

He answered her serious expression with a grin and an overly gentle, “But you don’t.”

“But I do,” she fought back.

Batting his eyelashes, he voiced with a disarming smile, “But you really don’t.”

“But I really, really-” He kissed her deeply and massaged her full, succulent mammaries as flexed his cock against her pelvis, flushing her body and mind with arousal and eagerness for more.

When he pulled back, she just groaned in frustration, “Oooooh, this is so not fair!”

Kissing her nose, he casually asked, “Cuz it feels so good?”

She looked away as she hesitantly answered, “Because… I won’t be able to look at you the same again.” Eying him again, she assured him, “And I really like looking down on you. It’s like the best part of my day. What if I start, like, respecting you?”

Shocked but not shocked her slashing words would go that far, Xander rolled Cordelia flat on her back, drawing a girlish shriek from her as he yelled, “Oh, that does it! I’m really gonna make you feel it now!” Despite her squeals and bouts of laughter, he peppers her with kisses everywhere she can’t block until he lands a kiss on her lips. Soon, the hormonal teenagers are once again heavily making out.

When they took another break, looking into each other’s dilated, aroused eyes, she cautiously asked, “If I can hate you as much as I can love you… does that mean… you can love me?”

A small smile graced his lips. Eying the gorgeous girl under him, he evasively confessed, “What if I already do?”

“I’d say you’re lying,” she quickly asserted.

“And if I said I’m not?”

“You have to be!” she called out.

Eying her earnestly, he returned, “But I’m not.”

Looking into his assertive brown eyes, she paused before eventually asking, “Since- …Since when?”

Easily, Xander answered with a smile, “Since I started wondering how a girl I hate can make me feel so good.”

Cordelia turned away because there was nowhere to hide her blushing cheeks when she was under him and face-to-face. Absent any reply, Cordelia turned on her side, making Xander wonder if she wanted him to go. It’s not as if he didn’t have to meet Willow in Buffy in a few hours. When the pensive beauty remained silent, he moved to leave, but she grabbed his forearm. Bringing a small smile to his face, he spooned her on the couch and held her until she fell asleep.

Considering the truth-bomb he had to drop on Buffy later, Xander couldn’t fall asleep with her, but he held Cordelia for an hour before moving to leave. She woke up as he was getting his backpack and sleepily asked, “You’re leaving?”

“Gotta meet Buffy and Willow,” he softly answered. “Vampire stuff.”

“Oh,” she slowly voiced. “I’d rather not with the fangs, and the blood, and the murder, but I can drive you.”

“That’s okay,” he graciously said. “I got a ride coming. Go back to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She nodded and turned around. Before he left the large living room, she called out, “Xander?”

“Yeah.”

She hesitated to voice, “When you’re done… c-come back.” It made him raise his eyebrows. For a week, all they’ve done in this loop was made out and heavy petting over the clothes. For Cordelia to ask, was a big step for them. Seemingly realizing what she said, she hastily added, “Or don’t. I don’t care.”

He chuckled before asserting, “You got it.”

Twenty minutes later, Jenny pulled up to the corner of Cordelia’s block and honked. Xander leaned on the open window, not unlike a prostitute, and asked, “Hey, sexy lady. For fifty, I can put a smile on that face.”

“Shut up,” she shot back. The amused boy snorted and got in, tossing his bag in the back before they drove off toward Buffy’s house. Looking around the large houses of the pristine neighborhood, Jenny had to ask, “What are you doing in such a fancy neighborhood?”

Leaning his elbow on the frame of the open window, he casually answered, “Meeting a friend.”

Curiously, she replied, “Didn’t know you had other friends.”

“Did you translate it?”

Glancing at him suspiciously, the sexy teacher hummed, “Hmm, changing the topic. And that unique scent is familiar… Are you just into older ladies?”

Turning to grab his bag, Xander said, “You can let me off here. I’ll walk.”

She grabbed his shoulder to prevent him from getting his bag, adding, “Xander it’s fine. I’m happy for you. I want us both to move on.” He returned her smile before she added, “Though maybe try a girl your own age.”

“I wasn’t with- Can we please not?” he asked, making the amused woman smirk. “Unless you want to tell me about you and Giles.”

Glancing at him, she mirthfully replied, “Mnn, you want to hear about our illicit affairs-”

“No! No,” he quickly shot back, regretting it. “I take it back! Let’s just walk that right back, please.”

“Relax,” Jenny lethargically pronounced. “We’ve only been on two dates. But after dancing around this thing we’ve had for nearly two years, I’m more than ready to invite him up for a late-night-”

“Do you have the printout?” the uneasy teen quickly interrupted, not liking the mental image of Giles and Jenny having sex.

“Yeah, yeah,” the amused woman answered before nodding to the dash compartment in front of him. “In the glove box. It’s exactly what you were worried about.”

Earlier in the week, Xander mentioned to Jenny that his research on Angel’s curse seemed to originate from the Romany people. All he would need to do was look into their past through their lineages and find the curse before translating it. The fear of being discovered seemed to motivate her to work faster and translate it. He wasn’t sure how hard or easy the task was for her, but sitting in her car, it was clear she’d rather no one know about her past.

Entering Buffy’s middle-class neighborhood with nice manicured lawns and two-story homes, Jenny asked, “Want me there?”

“Nah,” he answered. “I think it should just be us three for now.”

“And Giles? You sure you don’t want to tell him?” she asked as she turned the car onto Buffy’s street. “He is her watcher, after all. This might be something he should be clued into.”

“Under normal circumstances, I’d say yes,” he mused as he grabbed his bag from the back seat. “But she can go to him if Willow and I can’t help. He might be pissed at me for not telling him first, but at least he could support her more if she knew he didn’t know either.”

“That sounds very thoughtful and mature, Xander,” she sweetly confessed. “No matter how this goes down, I’m proud of you for doing this.”

“Thanks, but I’m not exactly looking forward to it. This is a plan that could very well get me punched in the face by a super-powered slayer.” Driving down the street, it wasn’t long before they neared Buffy’s home. To Xander’s fortune, he spotted Willow and Buffy walking on the sidewalk, a house away from the slayer’s home. He assumed Willow had met with Buffy after leaving Angel’s.

“Oh, I see em,” Jenny stated before stopping beside them.

After stuffing the printout in his backpack, Xander exited the car. He thanked his beautiful teacher, then closed the car door. The girls waved at Jenny before the friends walked the rest of the way to Buffy’s door. Curious, Willow asked, “Ms. Calendar gave you a ride?”

Nodding, he replied, “She was helping me with something I’ve been meaning to talk to you guys about. Since it’s been pretty quiet lately, I thought, ‘no time like the present.’”

“Xander! Jinx us much?” Buffy proclaimed, looking around with caution. “I like boring. I so need more boring in my life… and shopping.”

“Says the girl nursing her vampire boyfriend to health,” Willow sang with a teasing smile.

With a poorly restrained grin, the blonde admitted, “That has been pretty fun.”

Feeling his gut tighten, Xander told them, “Angel’s actually who I wanted to talk about.” Though they looked at him, Xander wondered if the classic gray car parked on the street was Giles. To his knowledge, there was only one Citroën DS in Sunnydale, but he couldn’t be sure why the librarian would be at Buffy’s home. Immediately, he then feared the Watcher’s council somehow learned about Angel again, and Giles was waiting inside to take Buffy to them.

Xander’s stomach twisted in knots as Buffy opened her front door and customarily called out, “Mom, I’m home!”

The three walk in and Xander didn’t expect to see Ted in the house since he’d already taken care of the psycho robot the very night of the day-loop. The teenagers were, however, curious to see Giles and Joyce at the top of the stairs, appearing shocked, embarrassed, and awkward at the same time. Their young minds short-circuited when the truth hit them. The sight of a flustered Giles, half-dressed, rushing down the stairs, buttoning up his wrinkled shirt while Buffy’s mother appeared just as flustered with too many buttons of her dress undone, revealed everything.

The heavy steps rushing down the stairs were the only sound made. The teens were completely stunned throughout the speechless moment everyone needed to absorb the gut-punching situation. Giles and Joyce had sex. Xander couldn’t be sure if Buffy or Willow recognized the smell, but Giles—and he imagined Joyce, as well—smelled strongly of alcohol and sex. Xander recognized both scents intimately, and the teenagers were further grossed out when the blushing and flustered adults tried to explain themselves.

“I-I-I-I- I understand how this must look,” Giles stammered to the queasy-looking Buffy. He could barely look her in the eyes. “But… But… Mnn, yes- no-”

From the middle of the stairs, Joyce called out, “He was just giving me a ride- Lift! A lift! He was giving me a lift!” But the image of the mother riding the watcher was instantly seared into their young brains. The embarrassed Giles simply hastened to the door. Opening it a third of the way, he begged them, “If- if w-we can just, keep this to ourselves, please.”

Fully opening the door revealed Jenny on the other side.

“Keep what to ourselves?” the observant woman asked. In less than a second, the deductive accuracy of her sharp eyes found the answer in Giles’ half-dressed appearance, the teenagers’ nauseated looks, and the disheveled look of the beautiful mother on the stairs holding Giles’ belt. If the teens must’ve guessed what happened between Giles and Joyce, it was even more evident to the sharp former gypsy.

She heard the guilt in Giles’ voice when he said, “Jenny,” then turned around and rushed to her car. Giles chased after her, jumping in his car and following her. It all happened so fast to Xander. In less than a minute, he completely forgot about Angel’s curse and now could no longer think. Buffy thought it best if she talked with her mom alone, so Willow and Xander left.

Most of the way to Willow’s house, the childhood friends couldn’t stop talking about what they saw. That’s when Xander was surprised to learn that Buffy’s been concerned about her mom for a few weeks. Willow explained, “Apparently, she was seeing someone recently who just disappeared. When she reported it to the police, she eventually learned he was actually a con artist because the real guy died, like, decades ago. Buffy said her mom’s been feeling pretty down about the whole thing.”

Xander set aside feeling left out again for the deeper meaning behind this revelation; His abrupt elimination of Ted made Joyce sad. He gravely replied, “…Wow, I, uh, had no idea.” Clearly, the young time looper made a mistake by not thinking about how eliminating Ted would affect Joyce. If a man she cared about went missing, then she learned he was lying to her all along… ‘Obviously she’d be upset, you idiot!’

“But Giles? How? When?” Willow mirrored his own questions before adding, “I mean, she said he was giving her a ride-”

Shivering, he gasped, “Please don’t say ride!”

“I realized it after I said it!” she called out, shaking her head of the sexual mental image of adults she respects.

“Okay, okay, okay!” Xander said, trying to move past his overzealous imagination of their motherly & fatherly figures repeatedly connecting at the groin. “Giles used his car to move the very dressed Mrs. S from one geographical location to another, and then they what? …Just do it?”

“Without booze or magic, how does that even happen?” Willow asked.

“I smelled some pretty strong hooch on him,” Xander remarked.

Sadly, Willow answered, “Oh, and I noticed an empty bottle of wine and another bottle of vodka on the coffee table in the living room.”

“Eeewwhhh,” Xander sounded.

“Double eeewww. Poor Ms. Calendar,” Willow cried. “Spending so much time researching two of my passions with her—magic, and computers—I’ve really gotten to know her, you know? She’s so smart and knows a lot about spells, rituals, and even some of the dark stuff Giles won’t tell me about. I feel so terrible for her.”

“Y-Yeah, so do I,” the distracted boy agreed, though not to the same extent as Willow. His copper-haired best friend has always been more empathetic to those she cared about.

Turning to him, she asked, “What was she helping you with?”

Taken aback at suddenly recalling his goal for the evening, Xander considered what to tell Willow. He knew she saw Buffy as the sister she never had, which fell in line with his future memories of them. Even though Willow loved Buffy and was a romantic at heart, Xander sharing what he knew about the curse with her would be a good thing. His childhood friend wasn’t so love-obsessed, she’d risk unleashing Angelus on the world just so Buffy can keep her boyfriend.

“Okay,” he started, stopping to take off his backpack. She turned to him curiously as he took the printout from his bag. “So this is some heavy stuff and I guarantee you Buffy isn’t going to like it.”

Knitting her brow in concern, she asked, “Heavier than what we just saw?”

“Way heavier,” he replied with a stiff nod.

“What is it?”

With the sheet in his hand, he puts his pack back on as he answered, “I asked Ms. Calendar to help me research Angel’s curse.”

“What? Why?” she quickly asked.

He lifted the folded paper as he replied, “I wanted to be sure-”

“Of what? That he’s a good guy?” she interrupted, eying him and the folded paper in his hand with a strange combination of disbelief and curiosity.

Taken aback, he lowered his hand to argue, “Yeah, he is, for now. But he won’t always be.”

With a bit of a huff, Willow tried to reach the deeper issue by saying, “Listen, I know you don’t like him with Buffy-”

“Stop,” he quickly cut her off, getting more and more tired of hearing that. “Willow, this is me.” Raising the folded white paper again, he hotly challenged, “Don’t you want to know what I found out before you flag me with the green card of jealousy?”

Looking at the paper hesitantly, she eventually nodded, saying, “…Okay, yeah. Sorry. I just- I don’t like where this is heading; and after what we saw, my head is everywhere right now.”

Xander nodded and handed her the sheet, which she unfolded. He gave her plenty of time to read it, then reread it before he summarized, “If Angel experiences a moment of true happiness, he loses his soul and reverts back to Angelus… you know, the murdering psycho.”

She stared at him with tragedy in her teary eyes. He hadn’t seen that heavily wounded look in a while. He still remembered the first time her pet goldfish died. Willow was inconsolable. She hadn’t even done anything wrong. She took perfect care of Peppy. It simply died of old age.

Willow’s expression was nearly the same as she asked, “But- …This could mean anything… couldn’t it?”

He leveled knowing eyes at the confused redhead as he stated, “Willow, he’s only going to get happier the longer they’re together. What if they actually do it? As a man who always wants to Rock the Casbah, I can tell you it doesn’t get much happier than that for a guy.”

Shaking her head with worry, she weakly responded, “But- But- Angel’s not… He’s not like that. Not like other guys… right?”

“Will, all guys are guys,” he flippantly pointed out. “And do we really want to take that risk?”

“Xander, this is horrible,” she sadly whined, leaning her head against his shoulder. “Poor Buffy! First her mom and now this!”

“Yeah,” he agreed, rubbing her back soothingly. “But I think it’s better this way.”

Pulling away, Willow eyed him in disbelief as she hotly contested, “How can you say that! You know how much Buffy loves Angel; how much they love each other. They’re like soulmates! This’ll devastate her!”

Having known Willow most of his pre-looped life, Xander could easily see how the cute redhead wore her heart on her sleeve. Despite how much this revelation was making her empathize to the point of feeling pained, Xander casually asked, “Is she still going to love him when he’s murdering innocent people?”

“You don’t know that he will!”

“If nobody tells her, that’s exactly what’s going to happen and you know it,” he simply returned. Willow didn’t respond and sadly considered his unfortunate words. Xander continued, “You can double-check it if you want, Will, but Buffy needs to know. And I want you there when I tell her.”

“…Just don’t tell her without me, okay?” she sadly finished. They were quiet all the way to her house, then she asked, “Are you going to be okay walking home? Do you want to borrow my bike? Or maybe you should stay the night? Leave in the morning before my parents wake up...”

“It’s fine,” he assured her. He always had his stakes, holy water, and his seax dagger in his backpack. Thinking about Cordelia, Xander quickly voiced, “I’ll borrow the bike, though.”

After promising to call her as soon as he got home, Xander biked to Cordelia’s house, since she didn’t live far from Willow. It was nearly eleven at night when he knocked on the tall, dark double doors of her two-story luxury home. Cordelia’s home was like a large and elegant Mediterranean villa with beautiful terraces, a large pool in the backyard, and many gardens around the property. When he knocked again, he wondered if he should climb up to the balcony or go home when she finally opened the door.

Dressed in a red silk robe over tight black shorts and tank top, the gorgeous girl looked far too put-together for the time of night. Not a strand of her silky brunette hair was out of place and her red lips had a sheen to them. After being floored by her effortless glamor, Xander wondered if she checked herself in the mirror before coming to the door.

Crossing her arms, the first thing she bluntly ordained was, “If you come inside, I’m the one who decides when and how people find out about us.”

Her demanding countenance only amused him as he quickly answered, “I can do that.” Before she could respond, he smiled as he teased, “When you say come inside, you mean the house, right?”

Eying him with a quirked brow, she asked, “Of course. What’d you think-” His smirk answered her before she finished asking. “Oh, that’s- you know what? You can leave. You can leave right now. I changed my- EEEKK!” Xander picked her up by the middle and started kissing her neck. Giggling and laughing, she called out, “Xander!”

Very soon, they were kissing all the way to her room. Though the couple didn’t have sex, Xander was happy to go down on her, sliding his eager tongue inside her vagina. The scantily-clad cheerleader moaned, arching her shivering spine as Xander tongue-fucked her dripping cunt. Working his tongue in and out of the sexy teen’s juicy pussy, Cordelia bucked against his lapping tongue more and more, until her throbbing twat orgasmed all over the lower half of his face. Cordelia returned the favor in the shower, sucking his cock off as the clean water rained down on them.

Her wet hair stuck to her bobbing head as her meat-stuffed mouth made soft slurping noises. Lightly holding the kneeling girl’s head, Xander’s head leaned back as the pleasure of her sucking buzzed his body delightfully. Her velvet lips worked up and down his stiff sausage as her slurping grew louder. When she fondled his balls, Xander’s cock swelled before he groaned and exploded in her mouth. Soon the couple was in bed, holding each other as they fell asleep. Early the following morning, Xander accidentally woke Cordelia up when he unfastened their embrace.

She slowly sat up and lethargically sounded, “Mmmm, Xander? What are- Where- It’s 6 AM. Why’re you up?”

“I’m biking home.”

“Mmm? Really?” she slowly voiced, thick with slumber. “I can drive you later.”

“Thanks,” he softly voiced. “But I’ve been working out in the mornings, so biking back’ll count.”

“Working out?” she asked with a lazy confusion on her face. Then nodded as she asserted, “Mmnnn, I approve. More muscle and less dweeb, please.”

Xander snorted before kissing the sleepy girl on the cheek. In school, the three friends were in the lounge and self-study area, with Buffy and Willow sitting on the plush couch and Xander on the coffee table in front of them. Buffy was explaining how her mom had been drinking more than the typical glass of Chardonnay a night.

“Giles happened to see her stumble out of a bar,” she sadly explained. “They drank some more at home while she told him everything that happened with this Ted guy and… well, the rest I refuse to think about on the grounds of mental health. It’s actively being repressed as we speak.” Buffy shivered at the recollection that none of the three will soon forget if Xander successfully escapes the month-loop. “It’s bad enough demons, vampires, and curses ruin my life, but now I have to add alcohol to the list?”

“It’s kind of normal when you think about it,” Xander pointed out, trying not to think of his parents. “Maybe you’re teetering out of super-gal zone and into normal girl?”

Scrunching her nose at either option, she woefully protested, “Can’t I cherry-pick the normal stuff? Like boys, and dancing, and shoes.” Turning to their distracted redheaded friend, Buffy waved her hand in front of Willow’s face as she called, “Willow? Earth to Willow, come in Willow.”

Jumping a bit in her seat, Willow swiveled on them, asking, “Huh? What?”

Concerned, Buffy asked, “Are you okay?”

Seemingly very empathetic to Buffy’s bad fortune, Willow’s face frowns sadly before hugging her blonde sister. “I’m so sorry, Buffy,” she lightly wailed.

Buffy was surprised by the emotional overreaction, looking to Xander, who simply shrugged. As Willow teared up a little, Buffy happily hugged her friend back while saying, “Oh, hey, it’s okay. You can zone out if you want- as much as you want! It’ll be zone-out-ah-palooza.”

After a couple of minutes of tearful hugging, Willow leaned back and took some tissues from her backpack. “Sorry,” she told them as she wiped her eyes. “I’m better now. Um, how’s Giles?”

Buffy winced. “He… looks like he’ll be having an extended stay in Sad-ville.”

“Mmn, yeah. I get that,” Willow bemoaned, likely thinking more about Buffy & Angel than Giles & Jenny.

The day took a turn for irritation when Xander entered health class. He moved to sit beside Cordelia, and when she saw him coming, the cheerleader promptly sat beside Doug Jeffries, one of Sunnydale’s handsome and large football players. She clearly didn’t want anyone knowing about them for the moment, and the very buff jock was happy to talk to the most popular girl in school. As she so often does, she easily got under his skin. Without an empty seat beside Willow, Xander sat by himself since Buffy was absent.

“Sex!” Mr. Whitmore yelled to the assembly of juniors. “The sex drive within the human-animal is intense! In teenagers, these hormonal urges are a hundred times worse than in adults.” Mr. Whitmore droned on about how helpless the common teenager was to their emotions and how wasteful sexual thoughts and activities were. After what happened with Giles and Joyce, hearing all this talk of sex made him wish he’d been absent like Buffy. Even Willow was wincing at the lecture.

When the nebbish-looking teacher asked for an example of the consequences of underage sex, Cordelia raised her hand before asking, “That depends. Are you talking about sex in a car or out of a car? Because one time—a friend of mine. Not me—kicked the gearshift in a BMW that was parked at the top of this hill and-”

“I was thinking of something a little more... commonplace, Ms. Chase,” Mr. Whitmore interrupted.

Xander wasn’t the guy in her car on a hill she was having sex with, and the chuckle and wink from Doug to Cordelia made Xander truly wonder how it was she could get on his nerves faster than any girl he’d ever met; Especially given all of his experience.

The raven-haired teenager couldn’t help raising his hand and asking without being called, “Talking of negative consequences, how about the heartbreak of halitosis? I mean, a girl may seem spiffy, but if she ignores her flossing, the bloom is definitely off the rose-”

Xander could just feel the crackling energy between himself and Cordelia as she quickly shot her hand up and snapped right back. The pair traded proxy verbal shots at each other until they were the center of attention and Mr. Whitmore asked for anyone else to speak. Willow answered, “Unwanted pregnancy,” which led to the balding teacher to assign the project for the week; taking care of an egg as if it were their own offspring.

Xander got a bad feeling, and it had nothing to do with Cordelia. It was similar to when he met Ted and Ford. His Old Man memories recalled nothing of use, so he wasn’t sure if this was something or not. He forgot the feeling when Cordelia partnered with the attractive, letterman jacket-wearing Doug, further frustrating Xander. Rather than grabbing any girl just to get back at the conceited cheerleader, he walked up to Mr. Whitmore, grabbed his egg, and loudly voiced his partner as the only absent girl in the class. He knew Cordelia heard him say Buffy, and when she glared at him, he returned a ‘Two Can Play This Game’ smile.

Feeling the coarse surface of the cool egg in his hand, Xander wondered if he should risk his grade to trust his gut. Something about the egg was turning his stomach, and the not knowing was only making it worse. Meeting Buffy in the library, Xander cheerfully informed her, “Congrats Buff. You and I are parents now.”

Thoroughly confused, a bewildered Buffy asked, “You want to run that by me again?”

Willow then explained the egg assignment while Xander skeptically stared at his white egg-child the entire time. When Buffy explained how she can’t take care of anything—having broken her gigapet by sitting on it—it gave him an idea that made him fear a failing grade for himself and Buffy if he was wrong. Staring at the rough surface of the delicate oval, he decided to take the risk.

“Buffy, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way,” he began, walking to the end of the table. “But I know for a fact you’d make a great mother to Xander Jr.”

Raising her brow at his blunt imagination, a completely baffled Buffy asked him, “And why would I take that veeery hypothetical comment the wrong way?”

Xander put the egg on the table, let it seesaw as he grabbed the nearest thick tomb, and shocked the girls when he smashed the egg with the heavy book. The girls were up on their feet immediately, calling out, “What are you doing?” and “I barely found out I’m a parent and now I’m failing at that too-”

Xander ignored their comments as he removed the book and revealed a disgusting, long-limbed, dark blue & black spider-like creature smashed flat underneath. Its whitish blood and ichor were sticky and several strands trailed from the table to the underside of the tomb as he lifted it. The pungent smell hit all of their nostrils hard, and in unison, Buffy and Willow sounded, “EEEEEWWWWW!!”

The slayer screamed, “What the hell is that?!”

Grossed out as well, Xander nearly gagged to answer, “Ugh, it’s definitely not Xander Jr. No way do I have a nose like a hellspawn.” They hesitated to lean in when Xander pointed out, “Careful with your egg, Will.”

Willow quickly backed away from hers like she touched a hot skillet. A dour and glum Giles walked into the room with a book sadly talking about a vampire named Lyle Gorch. He’s so focused on his text, he passed them without even acknowledging the disgusting spider-creature flattened on the table or even the smell of it.

“Uuuuh, Giles!” Buffy called.

“Yes?” he asked, slowly turning toward her. His slayer pointed to the dead creature and at the sight of it, he asked, “Good heavens, what is that?” The teens explained where they got the egg and immediately began investigating the creature while Xander and Buffy were tasked with tailing Mr. Whitmore. They first met him so Buffy could apologize for missing class, then asked the adult for good parenting advice.

“I mean, we were so irresponsible when we made this little guy,” Xander heavily pandered to the possibly evil teacher, lifting a different egg they nabbed from the cafeteria. Buffy nodded with a rigid smile on her face as Xander finished, “But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t know how to properly take care of him.”

“Right,” Buffy chimed in with a fake giggle. “Is there any time we can ask you some questions? Maybe later?”

He eyed them suspiciously before eventually nodding. “I appreciate students who take the initiative to educate themselves when they don’t know a thing, especially about something as important as parenting.” Xander hated Mr. Whitmore when he commented, “I can tell you two would make great parents,” precisely as Cordelia and the big jock Doug passed by. When the radiant brunette aggressively hooked her arm around Doug’s muscular arm, Xander knew she heard the teacher. You could read the ‘Of course that would happen,’ expression on Xander’s defeated face as they scheduled to meet the teacher after school.

Watching so many of their year-mates walking around with their deceptive alien eggs was so worrisome, the Scoobies skipped the last period of their classes to meet with Giles in the library and research. The four soon learn the alien-spider creature was the offspring of an ancient subterranean parasite known as the mother Bezoar. As it possessed a mental link with its offspring, the Scoobies will need to kill the mother to kill the offspring and save their classmates.

Buffy and Xander later followed Mr. Whitmore to the long basement of the large school and watched him enter a dark, creepy hole in the wall. Dreading the black hole in the pale wall, Buffy groaned before asking, “Ugh, do we really want to go in there?”

Dreading it just as much, Xander answered, “We really don’t.”

The pair entered anyway. Inside the hole, they slowly make their way through a narrow dirt path to a large rocky cavern. They didn’t have many spots to hide and couldn’t enter too deeply. However, they were able to see a few possessed students digging a hole in the center of the large cavern. While they couldn’t see directly down the hole dug at the center of the cavern, they could make out enough of the giant parasite to know that it was trapped under the dirt floor. And their classmates were digging it out.

Apprehensively, Xander whispered, “We’re going to need a bigger boat.”

“Huh?”

“Weapons,” he answered her curiosity. “More weapons.”

“Right.”

While Giles and Willow prepared a timed fire spell on a large drum of gasoline, Xander and Buffy kept Whitmore busy in his classroom. They were seated opposite the middle-aged man and asked him questions about parenting. Understanding they needed to keep the possible culprit or victim busy for a time, Xander leaned into the kinds of realizations all teachers wanted to hear from their students.

“You know, Mr. Whitmore, sometimes I don’t think I take life seriously enough,” Xander bluntly said.

Mr. Whitmore nodded without a second thought before agreeing, “You do fool around far too often, Mr. Harris.” The teacher leaned forward, propping himself on his round elbows as he flatly asked, “How is anyone supposed to take you seriously, let alone a prospective girlfriend or wife-” He purposely looked at Buffy, who raised her eyebrows high at the insinuation as the teacher continued, “If you don’t take yourself seriously?”

“That... actually cut deep,” the boy admitted. Xander wasn’t kidding. He wasn’t sure he’d ever heard those words directed at him and it felt like a stern finger with a long nail poking his chest.

Buffy tried to defend him by saying, “No, but that’s part of his charm. That’s what makes Xander, Xander.”

Mr. Whitmore shook his head slowly, as if he’d seen it all before. He told Buffy, “A funny boy, but not a man, Miss Summers.” Again, Xander’s mind was blown as the teacher added, “At the end of the day, when it comes right down to it, women marry men, not boys.”

As if he never realized that before, Xander’s mind voiced, ‘Buffy likes men, not boys. That’s why she’s dating a man and not a boy!’ It made so much sense, Xander was dizzy wondering why he never saw that before. Of all the mental patterns he had an easier time accessing, Casanova was the only one with considerable experience with women, but his area of expertise was in charming women out of their panties—which usually involved lying—not in getting these women to marry him.

“Wow, Mr. Whitmore,” Xander couldn’t help but tout. “You’re dropping some real wisdom bombs here; more than I was expecting.”

Seemingly having had enough, Buffy stood as she grabbed Xander’s forearm, prompting the distracted boy to stand as well while she pleasantly said, “Okay, thank you, Mr. Whitmore. We appreciate the advice.”

“Of course, of course. How’s your precious egg doing?” With a fake smile plastered on her face, Buffy lifted the basket their normal egg rested in.

The round adult tilted his head toward the egg, looking at it suspiciously. So much so, Buffy and Xander feared he could somehow sense there wasn’t a spider demon inside. The teacher eyed the young parents before spreading his lips, seemingly in amusement.

He then playfully asked, “Do I detect another offspring on the horizon?”

“Oh, no- no-” they started to say, but Whitmore already pulled out a second egg from his drawer, likely with a hellspawn inside, and placed it on his desk in front of them. When they didn’t automatically reach for it, the teacher stated, “Consider it extra credit.”

Clearing his throat with a wide smile on his face, Xander hesitantly took the demon egg as he joked, “I guess we just couldn’t keep our hands off each other.” Buffy and Xander add their fake laugh to Whitmore’s real one before the pair leave his classroom.

On their way to the library, Xander and Buffy ran into Cordelia, who saw the second egg and cattily mocked, “Oh, I see you didn’t learn after your first mistake.” Buffy rolled her eyes and kept walking. Xander took Cordelia’s egg before rushing away from her.

“Hey! Give that back,” she yelled as she ran after him. Xander rushed into the nearby empty classroom, found a waste bin, and threw Cordelia’s egg in. She reached him just as he started stomping on it.

“HEY!” she yelled from behind him, tucking her hair behind her ear as she looked at her smashed egg. “I get that you’re jealous, but you didn’t have to-” Xander removed his foot and pointed into the waste bin at the smashed icky spider parasite. Horrified, she sounded, “Eww, eww, eww! Oh my God! What is that!”

From beside her, he casually answered, “What I just did is known as ‘saving your life.’” She whined in disgust as he explained, “All the eggs are parasites for a crazy subterranean monster we’re about to kill. See you later?” Still grossed out at the sight of the smashed creature she’d been holding all day, the speechless girl nodded weakly. Before Xander left her, however, he clapped her firm, round ass with his full palm, making her hop, and told her, “I’m only jealous because I’m sooo looking forward to making you pay for it later.” He kissed her blushing cheek, then left.

The plan went off without a significant hitch. Though Buffy, Xander, and Giles had to fight a few of the possessed students attempting to protect the mother Bezoar, it wasn’t more than they could handle. Willow handed Buffy the timed gas tank, and she leaped over the seven-foot hole in the ground before throwing the explosive canister into the monster’s open maw. There was a muffled boom under them, sending vibrations up their legs for a moment, then the possessed students dropped to the ground, unconscious. Likewise, when Willow checked her egg, the parasite inside had withered.

“Gas leak, everyone,” Giles called out the cover story. “Gas leak. Watch your step,” he kept repeating as the Scoobies escorted the confused victims out of the rocky cavern.

With that situation resolved, Xander asked Buffy to meet him at Wild Dinks. He finished sharpening and assembling his first high-quality, runic sword. It resembled the gorgeous Excalibur, but he was nervous about the final step: Propositioning magic to reside into the vessel. It was the ultimate barometer of success, and Xander would only know the genuine quality of his work if magic happily inhabited his construct, making the weapon—and the wielder—stronger.

At the hypothetical thought of Eitri’s critique, Xander wasn’t sure what the dwarf would say, but he had a feeling Eitri wouldn’t present it to a Norse God for use. Eitri didn’t say much, but when he did, it was typically an insult. Xander thought the legendary smith would say, ‘Your weapon may not be worthy of a God’s grip, but even children need toys to play with.’

The young forge master worked hard smithing his version of Excalibur, and slowly lifted the weapon with both hands. After a deep breath and quick prayer to Eitri or the Avalonians for some luck, Xander spoke the intonation that tempted magic into the metal.

“Finalrinn step með ljós á ok fire lit. Minn always koming heima.”

Nothing happened; no light, no vibration, no changes whatsoever. Before thinking negative thoughts, Xander tried again, speaking the incantation louder and with more faith that magic would come. The sword did not tremble, light, or warm, and Xander lowered it. Apparently, he failed and no magical force on the planet wanted to live in the sharp weapon. The sword for a king looked great, was very sharp, and would sell well, but despite Pete & the guys praising the weapon, magic, sadly, didn’t like it.

Xander was in the testing grounds behind the large smithing shop, sitting on a stool in front of a weathered workbench as he gave the sword a second final polish when Buffy showed up. He smiled to see her, then faltered at the tall, handsome vampire next to her. He hadn’t expected Angel to come with her and couldn’t decide if this was better or worse. Dressed in his forging gear—thick khaki pants, thick long sleeve shirt, and brown leather work boots—with a beautiful double-edged sword in his hand must’ve been a shock to Buffy.

“Oh, my God, Xander,” she wowed, rushing up to him. It was like her greenish-blue eyes didn’t know where to settle on: his blacksmithing outfit, the gorgeous sword in his hands, or the racks with rolled tatami mats for testing the sharpness of a sword. She bellowed, “I can’t believe you’re actually doing this.”

He smiled right back as he playfully replied, “I know, right? He cooks, he cleans, he forges sharp stabby things. Not just the funny guy anymore.”

“Oh, come on,” Buffy playfully slapped that comment away. “You know you’re more than just that.”

“Well, I can eat a Ho-Ho like nobody’s business,” he boasted.

Angel eyed the weapon with some intrigue and asked in all seriousness, “You made that?”

Xander expertly rotated the shorter Excalibur, so the blade was vertical and bounced the moon’s bright light off of the polished steel. The tempered stainless steel was etched with patterns, the guard & pommel was gold and silver-plated, and the handle was wrapped in brown leather.

Xander nodded proudly before remarking, “Big upgrade from just fixing windows.”

Quirking her brow in confusion, Buffy asked, “You fix windows?”

Before Xander could ignore the question and continue with why he wanted to meet her, someone yelled from the other side of the testing field, “Finally found you, Slayer!”

Tector Gorch growled at them through its vicious demon face. Wearing a cowboy hat, a jean-jacket, and black boots, the vampire flexed his broad shoulders as he walked toward them. With a crowbar in his hand, the growling demon was clearly ready for a fight.

“Vampire,” Buffy casually noted.

Xander extended his weapon, and just as casually returned, “Sword.”

“Giles said he had a brother,” Buffy noted as she spun the sword in her grasp. She asked Angel, “Stay with Xander just in case,” and Xander couldn’t help but feel insulted. He knew they had no clue what he could do, however, he didn’t enjoy being reminded of how much protection he used to need. Buffy made her way forward with measured steps, spinning the sword in a relaxed grip to get a feel for the weight and how to handle it. Then, the crowbar and sword clashed with a sharp metal clang as she engaged the angry vampire. Though Buffy seemed surprised the sword held up, Xander wasn’t and smiled for that at least.

While Angel and Xander watched Buffy combat the vampire like a predator dancing around its prey, Xander couldn’t help whispering to the vampire, “I know about your curse.” Angel turned to Xander as if he imagined hearing that, but the teen took the printed translation out of his pocket and extended it to him. He bluntly stated, “If you don’t want to be Angelus again, break up with her.”

Angel cautiously took the paper as Buffy returned from making mincemeat of the once Tector Gorch. She cheerfully exclaimed, “This is one of the best swords I’ve ever handled.” Beaming so magically at Xander, it hurt him to know what’s in store for her. “I can’t believe you made this!”

Happy to see her appreciation and mirth, the teen confessed, “It took a lot of practice.”

The comment bewildered her, making her ask, “When? You started like three weeks ago.”

Clearing his throat, Xander played it down and reasoned, “Guess I’m good with my hands.”

Slyly, the blonde lifted the imitation Excalibur and asked, “This wouldn’t be an early birthday gift, would it?”

“‘Fraid not Buffster,” he said with something of a wince.

“Oh, come on, I really, really like stabby things, and this one’s shiny,” she cutely whined.

“I have something better planned,” he happily reassured her, to her delight. “Just gotta get better at this.”

“Can I use this tonight?” she cutely asked with batting eyelashes.

Smirking, he answered, “Have fun, you whacky Slayer.”

Buffy turned to Angel so they could leave. The vampire nodded and waved for her to go on as he said, “In a minute. Just need to ask Xander something.” After she left, twirling the sword in her grip, Angel moved much too close to Xander—intimidatingly so. The man had broader shoulders and was at least four inches on the teenager, but Xander didn’t step back or cower away. He’s died, raged, and been tortured enough not to flinch at threats of any kind.

“If this is a lie,” Angel growled. “I swear to you… I won’t be happy.”

Unbothered by the threat, Xander simply replied, “No offense, but if you can stay away from true happiness, that’d be great. You’d literally be saving lives.” Restraining his rage, disappointment, and despair, a very unpleasant Angel turned on his heel and walked away. Seeing such raw emotions on the face of such a wounded soul, Xander deflated a little and voiced out to the departing vampire, “For what it’s worth, the only reason I could stomach this thing between you and Buffy was because I knew you made her happy.”

It didn’t seem to be worth much as he continued on without another word. The following morning, a sweaty and fatigued Xander was coming back from his morning run when he spotted Buffy waiting for him on his porch. The righteous fury resting on her face told him what he could expect from her visit.