The Lonely One

Xander was excited. After getting a ride from Jenny, he sat opposite Buffy and Willow at the table in the library. Though he had to enter the library ten minutes after her to avoid raising suspicion, he didn’t mind because he was with his best friends again; his family. Looking across the dark oak table, Xander felt like hugging Willow and Buffy again. He gave them long hugs when he saw them, especially his redheaded best friend.

When he saw Willow, he only let her go when she grew concerned and asked, “Uh, Xander? Everything okay?”

Xander wasn’t, but he couldn’t tell her that. He didn’t think he could tell anyone just yet. Too much emotion was tied into that topic to express easily. Xander felt a rock in his throat at the thought of confessing, and he was sure if he spoke, he’d cry in front of them. So, the emotional teen stayed quiet. Additionally, something was going on and he needed to learn what it was before he could tell his friends everything that happened to him.

It was Review Day, and as ever, Giles wanted to discuss the Janus curse with them and how they dealt with the sudden dilemma. They’ve had Review Day for several of their Hellmouth clashes with evil. The Englishman’s lectures were long and tedious, but Xander wouldn’t miss it. He may be spending his Saturday at school, but his friends were there, and Giles always brought chocolate chip cookies.

Deep in thought, Xander’s hands were automatic. He reached over and grabbed his fourth cookie as he thought about his predicament. Sitting lazily in the library chair, a very uncomfortable Xander realized he never had to deal with a sore dick before. The annoying pain wouldn’t go away no matter what sitting position he took. As far as pain goes, throbbing aches after a hard night of fucking were preferred over being stabbed, mauled, or shot. Rather than thinking about his sore dick, he needed to concentrate on what triggered his escape from the time loop.

As Giles jabbered on about Janus, Xander pondered the riddle behind what made him loop back and what allowed him to progress forward. Clearly, he didn’t have to dress as Old Man Xander for Halloween to move to the next day, now that he’d done it as Casanova. Sherlock claimed if the dilemma wasn’t external, then deduction dictated that it had to be internal; possibly thoughts or feelings. This train of introspection led Xander to wonder about his level of influence on the world.

Tilting his head to the side, he mentally asked, ‘Am I a God who just doesn’t know how to use my powers?’

To Xander, it was as good a question as any. For his attitude to have such an effect on the world around him, it was no small feat. Either something gave him this ability—this curse—or he always had it and simply didn’t know it.

“Xander?” Willow called, but Xander was so deep in thought, he didn’t hear her. “Hello? Xander?” When he made no reaction to her, Buffy took a small, ivory piece of the broken bust of Janus and lobbed it onto his chest. Xander was leaning back in his chair when he finally looked up. Willow asked, “Hey, are you okay?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, on cloud nine,” he assured her before casually explaining, “Just wondering if I’m a God, or not.” At that, Jenny cleared her throat like something was caught in it and turned her blushing face away. Xander didn’t care how strange he must’ve looked voicing such a ludicrous proposition. He simply turned to Giles and asked the expert, “Would you be able to tell that, Giles? If I’m a God, I mean?”

The British librarian exhaled, silently asking for patience as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. Rather curtly, he replied, “I… I’m fairly certain you’re not a God, Xander.”

Xander was oblivious of the Englishman’s agitation and continued, “Yeah, but what if I was… and I just don’t know it?” Xander tilted his head, as he felt close to a solution and rambled, “I’d be doing everything like a normal guy would, because I only think I’m a normal guy, so that’s what my Godly powers manifest. But in actuality, I just need to believe I’m not normal so I can be, like… Godly?”

“I’d say you’re definitely not normal,” Buffy jested with a teasing smirk. Xander shot her a ‘that’s not funny’ look. “Oh, come on,” she told him. “You totally set yourself up for that one. And you know you would’ve lost all respect for me if I didn’t.” As an enthusiast for all things humor, Xander had to endorse her logic with a reluctant nod.

Giles sighed, shaking his head before he voiced, “If I may continue, please. We were discussing the Roman God, Janus, and his Greek counterpart.”

The three nodded in unison, then Willow leaned closer and asked her best male friend, “Are you sure you’re okay, though?”

“Yeah,” Xander told her with a grateful smile. He loved it when his friends were concerned about him, but even more than that, he simply loved being out of the loop with them. Nearly giddy, he explained, “I’m just… happy… to be here. Happiness has rendered me mute!”

“I didn’t know you had a mute button,” Buffy teased, eying him sweetly with her disarming smile.

Xander always appreciated a good burn and her face always ensured he could never be mad at her, even if he didn’t understand her choices at times. To the raven-haired teen, they could always clown around together. Happily, he replied with a grin of his own, “Hate to break it to ya, Buff, but a blonde not knowing something isn’t really shocking news.”

“Hey!” she cutely exclaimed, tossing a cookie at him. He was surprised he easily caught it, before munching on the doughy goodness with a toothy grin.

“Children,” Giles stressfully called out, settling them.

Jenny moved around him to look at the tome in his hand, assuring him sweetly, “I, for one, think your explanation of Roman mythology is very interesting, Rupert.” Ms. Calendar was very close to him, making Xander once again assume she was done with him.

Smiling timidly, the mousy Giles retorted, “Y-yes… I do believe it is… too, I should say.”

The three students became incredibly uncomfortable around the adults and Buffy quickly asked Xander, “What did you dress as, again?”

“The legendary ladies’ man, Casanova,” he merrily answered.

Realizing what that could mean given the parameters of the Janus curse, Willow eagerly asked, “How was that? Did you learn anything interesting? Was he as good as they say he was?”

Catching Ms. Calendar awkwardly looking away, Xander shrugged as he answered Willow, “Oh, total scumbag. Dirty, dirty man! Glad I wasn’t around any of you. He would’ve just annoyed your pants off.”

“And I’m glad Angel came around when he did or I’d be dead,” Buffy happily told them, though she seemed to share her playfulness with Willow. The bubbly girls had the look on their faces. Xander had seen their expression of sentimental excitement about Angel hundreds of times already.

The dark-haired teen rolled his eyes and returned to his thoughts as Willow pointed out to Buffy, “Great timing is part of the destiny package.”

“As a card-carrying Destiny holder, I can attest to that,” Buffy said with a wide grin.

“Matching destinies,” Willow cheerfully tacked on.

As the girls giggled at their sly put-Angel-and-Buffy-together games, Xander tuned out the glee and focused on the destiny part. His Old-Man Xander memories was his destiny. Before Xander made it past October 31st, he promised himself over and over to do better. He truly meant it, as if he was driven by a visceral hatred of the future designed for him. It’s possible that internal mental change got him out the first time. However, the second time Xander made it to November 1st, he wasn’t reflecting on a better future.

The Sherlock in him was already questioning the hypothesis. ‘I mean, every single person on this planet wishes to have a better future; whether they know what’s in store for them or not. Does that make me special somehow?’ Xander couldn’t possibly believe he was special enough to merit this time loop only happening to him.

The Sherlock within asked, ‘What if it’s not solely happening to you?’

Xander was growing more and more confused. He couldn’t be sure of anything. The young teen needed irrefutable evidence that pointed to a single conclusion. Whether he was a God or not, whether he was special or not, Xander needed to learn the rules to escape in case he was ever sent back again.

Xander hung out with Buffy and Willow for as long as he could after Review-Day was concluded. He thought of telling them what he knew about their futures, however, he held his tongue with every passing minute. Xander kept the conversation light and safe, just in case he triggered something inadvertently and was sent back. When Willow went home to study, and Buffy went home to prepare for patrol, Xander refused to be killed again and walked straight home.

He couldn’t think of anything else but the following day. He sat on his bed, eying the blood-red numbers of the clock for hours. Eventually, it was 2:59 in the morning and Xander held his breath for the entire minute. His face was red and his lungs jolted every time the organ wanted to perform its function. That was until Xander finally gasped out a waft of air before deeply inhaling. As he recovered his breathing, his shaky hands reached for the clock and gazed lovingly at the blood-red numbers.

3:00 AM and Xander was still conscious.

“YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSS! FINALLY!” He screamed like he’d just scored the game-winning touchdown at the Super Bowl. As the clock read 3:01, Xander was so excited he hadn’t looped back, he yelled, “This has to be it! What else could there possibly be?”

Xander stayed up and simply watched the clock until his body finally needed rest. Having stayed up till six in the morning, Xander didn’t wake up until noon, but he wasn’t drowsy. He was wide awake and eager to verify the day. His alarm wasn’t blaring. His television wasn’t playing the same Mighty Max episode and his parents were sleeping in their room. Xander grabbed the morning paper from the front curb, and it confirmed that he made it to the second day of November. The heavy anxiety just melted out of him and he felt lighter.

After a grand sigh of relief, an exuberant Xander called his friends to hang out. Sadly, Buffy was spending the day with her mom and Willow was studying until dinner with her parents. Though they may have been busy, the gangly teenager didn’t mind too terribly. Looking around his disgusting room, he finally had the free time to clean the filthy space. After spending what felt like a lifetime living in a pigsty, Xander couldn’t stand the clutter, the smell, or the mess any longer.

Xander hadn’t expected to throw so much away. Looking through his vast collection of comic books, he realized he knew all the future storylines for all of his favorite characters; especially when the Cinematic Universe happens. ‘Great, Old-Me can remember decades of comics, but not all of your teen years. Geek nation to the end. Fantastic,’ he thought.

Going through his Swimsuit Editions of Sports Illustrated made him realize he’s already done the impossible and slept with some of the hottest women in the world. His action figures didn’t hold a candle to what it was like being Achilles. His VHS collection would soon turn into DVDs, so he didn’t need them. As he cleaned the carpet, walls, and bathroom, Xander made a To Sell pile and figured he could earn at least a couple hundred dollars.

The entire time he deep cleaned his room, he also worked the time loop problem in his head. The working theory on getting out of the loop was a genuine internal change. He got out after being Old-Man Xander, died on the first day, then went back to Halloween. He got out again using Casanova on Jenny, but he wondered about the change. That he knew of, he hadn’t decided on anything to trigger moving on.

In any case, if he died again, it was possible he could loop back. Xander didn’t know if he was out or not, but decided to be as normal as possible so as to not risk it. He wouldn’t tell his friends about their futures, despite really wanting to. He wouldn’t try to meet Jenny outside of school, despite wanting to do that as well. The teenager would simply go to school and be nothing more than Xander. Sadly, the peace he wanted was impossible on the Hellmouth.

After English class the following day, Xander caught up with Buffy and Willow in the hallway, and overheard the blonde say to the redhead, “I don’t know. I don’t think so- I mean, they seemed pretty friendly.”

He noticed them having a conversation in class and felt left out. Curious about brand new information he’d never heard after years in a time loop, Xander asked, “Who’s friendly?”

“No one,” his blonde friend quickly told him, mildly hurting Xander’s feelings.

“Angel and a girl,” Willow casually answered, cheering Xander up.

Eying her friend with minimal betrayal, Buffy asked, “Will, do we have to be in total share mode?”

“Hey, it’s me,” Xander readily reassured her. “If Angel’s doing something wrong, I need to know. Cuz it gives me a happy.”

Glumly, Buffy replied, “Glad someone has a happy.”

As the three walked through the hallway, Xander suggested cheering her up with crazed dancing at the Bronze. He hadn’t been to the nightclub in what felt like forever, and eagerly hoped to return to good times with his friends. The trio took a seat at a seating area as Buffy amiably rejected the offer to go to the Bronze. The Slayer was clearly more upset about the pretty girl Angel was with than hanging out with her friends. It reminded Xander all over again that he wasn’t as important to her as her vampire boyfriend.

From behind Buffy, a charming and innocuous senior voiced, “I’d suggest a box of Oreos dunked in apple juice.” They all turned to the tall, handsome stranger as he added with a serene smile, “But maybe she’s over that phase.”

Curious wonder slowly dawned on Buffy’s face before she voiced, “Ford?” At his charming smile, she cheerfully called, “Ford!” before throwing her arms around him.

Ford returned the big, friendly hug. He was so tall he had to bend down to hug her. Even though the black-haired teen was only wearing a muted orange sweater vest over a grey shirt, Xander thought he may as well have been the model for the designer. Xander counted the seconds until they stopped hugging, however, they still held hands after as the attractive boy asked, “Hey, Summers. How’ve you been?”

When Buffy asked the charming stranger, “What are you doing here?” Ford explained how his father was transferred to Sunnydale, so he’ll now be finishing his senior year at Sunnydale High School.

A bubbly Buffy was happy to hear it. While Xander wondered if she was ever going to introduce them, Ford sheepishly admitted to Buffy, “I wasn’t sure you’d remember me.”

“Remember you?” she gleefully repeated. “Duh, we were in school together for seven years. You were my giant fifth-grade crush. Remember?”

Hearing that was a punch to Xander’s gut as he dryly asked, “So, you two know each other?”

“Oh! Sorry,” Buffy quickly swiveled around to her waiting friends. “This is Ford. Uh, Billy Fordham. This is Xander and Willow.” Buffy led her old friend to sit on the couch across from Xander and Willow as she added, “Ford and I went to Hemery together, in L.A.”

Jovially, Willow inquired, “So, you guys were sweeties in fifth grade?”

“Not even,” Buffy leveled back. “Ford wouldn’t give me the time of day.”

“Well, I was a manly sixth grader,” he jested with his smooth tone of voice. “Couldn’t be bothered with someone that young.”

“It was terrible,” Buffy confessed. “I moped over you for months. Sitting in my room listening to that Divinyls song, I touch myself.” She quickly whirled on her friends and asserted, “Of course, I had no idea what it was about.”

To Xander’s surprise, Buffy enthusiastically invited Ford to the Bronze that night. “It’s the local club! You gotta come.”

“I’d love to,” he initially voiced, however, he looked at her friends and added, “But if you guys had plans- Would I be imposing?”

“Only in the literal sense,” Xander sarcastically answered while smacking the air.

Buffy gave Xander a look that said ‘Be Nice,’ before turning to Ford and asserting, “You’re coming. I have spoken.”

When she left them to show Ford around school, Xander couldn’t help bemoaning, “‘This is Ford, my bestest friend of all my friends.’ Jeez. Didn’t she know any fat guys?” Willow turned to him before simply shaking her head.

Throughout the rest of the school day, Xander was trying to remember a Ford, a Billy, or a Fordham from his Old Man memories, but he couldn’t recall even a fading memory of the good-looking boy, which was odd. Because he was unfairly attractive. Xander expected his older counterpart would remember if a handsome guy like that stuck around Buffy for long.

The lack of memories had Xander wondering if something happened to Buffy’s friend, or if his Old Man memories simply couldn’t be relied on when it came to his teen years. After all, the only things he could really recall were big things like Angelus, Jenny dying, Faith taking his virginity, Dawn, Anya, Buffy’s death and subsequent resurrection, Willow’s magic addiction, Riley, Spike & Buffy, Joyce dying, his horrible track record with women, the big battles, and little things here and there. There was simply far too much missing that made it all unreliable.

They all met at the Bronze later that evening in the bad part of town. Walking into the low-lit dance hall, it felt like the first time for Xander. He was amazed by it all and soaked it in like he was in heaven. With its stage for live performances, dance floor, pool table, balcony, and was sixteen and over, it certainly deserved all the popularity it’s gained.

Buffy, Willow, and Xander were at the pool table, talking and drinking their soft drinks. Xander couldn’t help sneaking peeks at Cordelia, rocking out on the dance floor to the live band. She was dressed in a long-sleeved, tight black dress that showed an ample amount of her toned legs. With the lights flashing to the music, she was incredibly sexy. It really threw Xander for a loop to think he dated such a hot girl, despite having hated her.

Despite Xander’s best efforts, Buffy was quiet and despondent despite the festive atmosphere. It wasn’t until Ford arrived that she was instantly happy. Buffy led him to the pool table with everyone before leaving to get him a drink. She assured them she’d be right back, however, Xander and Willow noticed Buffy running into Angel at the bar. It was the first time Xander didn’t mind the vampire showing up. The teen could tell they were having an animated conversation about something, but he couldn’t hear what. He guessed it had to do with the girl Angel was with Sunday night.

“That’s Angel,” Willow informed the concerned Ford. The music wasn’t too loud by the billiards table, but they still needed to speak over it and the crowd.

Recognizing the distress on his handsome face, Xander avidly added, “He’s Buffy’s beau. Her special friend.”

“He’s not in school, right?” Ford curiously asked, still observing Buffy and Angel. “He looks older than her.”

“You’re not wrong,” Xander remarked over the music, earning a deadpanned look from Willow.

Buffy rejoined them without the soda but with Angel in tow. Hesitantly, Buffy introduced Angel to Ford. As Xander and Willow watched the awkward meeting, the men shook hands and Ford gasped, “Whoa. Cold hands.”

“You’re not wrong,” Xander remarked, earning a deadpanned look from Buffy, though he paid more attention to the pool cue tip he was rubbing with chalk.

The men on either side of Buffy were silently measuring themselves up. Angel was taller, more of a physical presence, while Ford seemed more attractive and approachable. Xander felt like the odd one out, as if he didn’t even register as a possible love interest. With all his experience pleasuring women, it nearly felt insulting to not even register. Feeling suffocated between the men, Buffy eventually asked Ford to walk her home, leaving Angel to watch them leave together.

“Once more with tension,” Xander sarcastically remarked before Angel disappeared. Though Xander would’ve preferred to hang out with both Willow and Buffy, he was happy enough simply being with Willow. They stayed and talked about mundane things for an hour before leaving.

The following day, Xander was surprised to learn that Angel went to see Willow to talk about Ford. Though Xander initially felt left out, Willow asked him to help her investigation of Ford, to which he agreed. Though she found nothing incriminating, she still found it weird that he lied about going to Sunnydale when he wasn’t registered at all. After hacking his emails, Willow tracked down a correspondence with a man named Diego and the address to a business called the Sunset club.

Again, Xander didn’t recall any of this from his Old Man memories. Nevertheless, he goes with Willow and Angel to investigate. The Sherlock within had already put it together that Ford was bad news, even if he wasn’t certain on the specifics. However, Xander held out hope that Buffy’s old friend wasn’t a bad person. He may not be a fan of the charming Ford, but he didn’t want him to be evil. That would just hurt Buffy too much.

Willow, Xander, and Angel meet on the street the Sunset Club was on in the industrial district. They walked down a dark and murky alley to the entrance of the club. Angel banged on a black steel door, and a second later, the little window slid open with a sharp snap.

“We’re friends of Ford,” Angel confidently said. “He said we should come by.”

The window slid shut, and the heavy door opened. The three filed into the drab and dreary décor of the club with a neon blue light outlining the perimeter of the ceiling. Xander and Willow stick out like a sore thumb with her colorful striped sweater and his muted orange dress shirt. On Angel’s suggestion, they split up. Angel continued exploring the same floor while Xander and Willow descended downstairs to the floor below. Eventually, the pair of friends noticed a theme with all the patrons. They were all dressed in a variety of dark, Gothic attire, to which Willow cautiously remarked, “This place seems very, ‘yay, vampires.’”

“You guys are newbies, I can tell,” a woman voiced from behind them.

Xander and Willow turned around to meet a beautiful, long-haired blonde wearing a black dress with a low neckline and a black choker around her neck. Despite the cold, dreary, and low-lit interior of the Gothic club, her smile was very inviting as she introduced herself as Chanterelle.

In her fluffy colorful sweater, Willow panicked a bit and assured her, “Oh, no. We come here all the time.”

“My corset’s just at the cleaners,” Xander added confidently, like a man who believed the lie.

“Don’t be ashamed,” Chanterelle assured them with her pleasant smile. “It’s cool that you’re open to it. We welcome anyone who’s interested in the Lonely Ones.”

Drawing her copper brows together, a curious Willow asked, “The Lonely Ones?”

“Vampires,” Angel voiced from behind them. He did not look particularly amused to be there.

“Oh, we usually call them the nasty, pointy, bitey ones,” Xander noted.

“So many people have that misconception,” Chanterelle earnestly lamented. “But they, who walk with the night, are not interested in harming anyone.” Xander raised his eyebrows at that while Angel dropped his head in disbelief. The affable blond brightly continued, “They’re separate from humanity, and must carry the burden of immortality. They are creatures above us. Exalted.”

“You’re a fool,” Angel harshly told her, garnering surprised looks from both Willow and Xander.

Visibly upset by his blunt judgment of her beliefs, the leather-clad woman asserted, “You don’t have to be so confrontational about it. Other viewpoints than yours may be valid, you know.” Hurt, she left them.

“Nice meeting you,” Willow tried, however, Chanterelle was long gone. Turning to Angel, the redhead voiced, “Great. Now nobody’s gonna talk to us.”

“I’ve seen enough,” Angel told them. “I’ve come across their type before; Children, making up bedtime stories about friendly vampires to comfort themselves in the dark. These people don’t know anything about vampires. What they are, how they live, how they dress…”

In that same moment, a club member walked between them wearing the exact same outfit Angel was wearing; a dark purple dress shirt under his black jacket.

Angel looked sheepish for a moment as a sardonic Xander voiced, “You know, I love a good diatribe, but I’m more curious as to why Ford, the bestest friend of the Slayer, is hanging with a bunch of vampire wannabes.”

They all agreed something was up with Ford and they needed to discover what. In his bed, Xander’s Sherlock brain pattern loosely wondered about the correlation of all the moving parts. If everyone at the Sunset Club worshiped vampires and Ford frequented the club, it stood to reason, Ford also admired vampires. Ford’s friendship with Buffy suddenly became disturbing. The implication that he could have a plan for her worried Xander. On the other hand, Buffy admired at least one vampire. It wasn’t impossible that Ford could as well.

Xander spent the rest of the night watching his clock with growing anxiety. It’s become something he couldn’t seem to help but do, which worried him. Sadly, he didn’t think he could shake the fear of waking up at the start of the time loop until it finally struck 3:01 AM. Only then could he finally relax enough to sleep.

The next day, Xander and Willow were lounging by the stairs when Buffy came by and revealed that Angel confessed their suspicions about Ford and their investigation at the Sunset Club. It truly startled Xander how much happened when he wasn’t around, but more importantly, he didn’t like how sad she seemed about all of it. They could be right about her old friend, but all she seemed to focus on was Angel and her friends going behind her back to investigate Ford.

Willow explained, “When Angel came to my room, he was just really concerned for you, and… we didn’t say anything in case we were wrong.”

When Xander asked if she knew what Ford was up to, Buffy sternly answered, “I will,” before leaving them.

It took Xander another second to realize, “Wait a minute. Angel was in your bedroom?”

Nodding glumly, she casually joked, “Ours is a forbidden love,” before they planned to meet Buffy at the library after school.

The pair of friends waited for hours and once the sun set, they knew Buffy went to handle Ford by herself. They rushed out of the library and met Angel along the way to the Sunset room. The trio were just in time to help wounded, yet thankfully living vampire worshipers. They barely started helping them before Buffy hastened out of the club, having already taken care of the crisis.

Having missed all the action, Xander was later to learn that Ford planned to give Buffy to Spike in exchange for immortality as a vampire. Over the phone, Willow explained that, unlike the other delusional vampire fanboys and girls, Ford seemed to understand the nature of vampires and desired to become one due to the inoperable, terminal brain cancer he was suffering from.

“Ford was going to die, and becoming a vampire was the only way he could continue living,” Willow sadly voiced. “Buffy told me he said, ‘it was better to live as a demon than to die riddled with tumors.’ Isn’t that sad?”

After the entire four-day ordeal, Xander was done thinking about Ford. He simply didn’t care. There were only two points he wondered about: Why did Willow allow Angel in her bedroom? And why didn’t Buffy tell him any of this? Xander knew girls gossip, and he certainly didn’t care to press a phone to his face for hours listening to topics starring Angel, however, he felt strongly that she could talk to him about serious matters. It made Xander ponder about Buffy’s opinion of him.

The Casanova within easily answered him, ‘the quaint mistress sees thee as little more than a boy, thus, never an object of amorous affection.’

Xander groaned in annoyance. After all the loops he’s been through, after everything he’s learned from the greatest teachers, Xander did feel different from the way he was before. Due to Casanova’s costume, he was an experienced lover, even if he wouldn’t be able to prove that to Buffy without a lot of explanation. Due to Sherlock’s costume, he questioned things more seriously than he used to. Thanks to Achilles, he knew more about combat than he ever had before. He couldn’t claim to be on a Slayer’s combat level—especially with his unconditioned body—but unless he was outnumbered, it feels unthinkable that he would run and hide from a vampire.

‘Only, my friends don’t know any of that,’ he thought, as he waited for the clock to strike three AM. The clock felt as if it was running slower and he could feel his anxiety sky-rocket. ‘I want Buffy to tell me things too… and rely on me.’ Realizing that he was waiting for a new day so he could be better, Xander told himself, ‘I guess I’m going to have to prove it to them.’

At 3:01 AM, he finally went to sleep in his clean bed. Since he’s left the time loop, he hasn’t worked out like he said he was going to, and so, the following day, Xander went jogging after school. The sweating and gasping boy could barely reach a mile before he had to stop. Though his heaving lungs felt like they were about to collapse and his legs burned, Xander continued slogging through his burning need to stop until he painstakingly completed a three-mile run. Though, he promptly threw up.

Despite the vomit, Xander felt proud, like he had Sunday night when he finished deep-cleaning his entire room. It’s been nice coming to a clean room and going to sleep on a fresh-smelling bed, so he knew it would be just as nice to have a stronger body. Xander was looking forward to Friday. He would continue to exercise and try to remember when things like Angelus or Jenny’s death happened so he could show everyone how much better he was… so he can show the Old Man how much better he’s supposed to be.

The following morning, Xander couldn’t show anyone anything. When he woke up to his blaring alarm, his bed smelled horrid and his room was a familiar pigsty. Everything he threw away or sold was back. Turning on the television so hard he nearly broke the dial, the same Mighty Max episode was playing. The fear was creeping up when he saw his parents in their same spots. Growing so anxious, he was trembling, Xander couldn’t deny it anymore. He looped back to Halloween again.

Without hesitation, deep from his diaphragm, Xander yelled so hard his throat hurt, “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!”