Hi there, would you like to hear a story about adventure magic and reincarnation? If so you came to the wrong place, this is a story about me and my most pathetic reincarnation in the history of all mankind. Where should I begin, where else let’s start from the beginning…

…

In a pitch black dark cave, a silhouette of a young man was lying on the ground, he was barely holding to his miserable life. Wounds were all over his body, bones were broken flesh was torn, his eyes were filled with rage betrayal and most important with the desire for revenge. He raised his hand as almost trying to hold on to his last string of life, despite all his efforts that last string of life was torn to million little pieces, as his eyes dimmed and lost all of their light, his hand lost it strength and fell back onto the ground, with a thud everything slowed down…

“SORRY, CAN’T SAVE, BUT CAN GET REVENGE…” A distorted voice could be heard be the dying young man. His eyes with no trace of life showed a faint sign of conscious again.

…

“My name is… Weird why can’t I recall my name, ah who cares I am not in a situation where I can think about that right now, I just can’t believe my own eyes, because before me is the most beautiful scenery I ever have seen…”

“There’s a huge mountains in front of me, their peaks pierce the clouds. Snow can be seen forming on their tops, a forest with so many different colors it resembles a rainbow more than a forest, and not long while ago I saw a huge bird fly past me, more appropriate way of describing its size is a flying bus with wings.”

“And please let’s not talk about those scary roars and sounds that coming from afar, I am pretty sure something like that can only be seen in a movie or a video game and not in real life. The first thing that came to my head that I was dreaming, but it was too damn real, I could feel the wind and could hear the sounds of nature around me.”

“Uhh, I feel strange why can’t I focus at all, how did I get here?… Shit I can’t remember, I think I am missing something important. Augh, who cares right now I need to backtrack, I most remember something at least anything at all.“

As I said that a flash of light came to my mind, it gave me a weird chill of fear but I brushed it off and for the first time I could remember something.

“What was it again? Yes yes a special day, oh right it was my birthday yesterday, how could I forget that? I became a twenty-three years old and at night I was alone at the beach… What was I doing there, why was I alone at my birthday at a beach, ahh why can’t I remember?”

“Focus, focus yeah yeah that day was really cloudy, you couldn’t see even one star in the sky, rain was ready to pour any moment, and I was there standing and cursing the world for being born, even though it was cloudy you could only hear the sounds of thunder coming from afar.”

“After screaming like an idiot for hell know how long, I suddenly felt a weird chill running truth my spine. I opened my eyes and looked up, what came next was a blinding flash of light and in a mere second it happened, if you guessed correctly yes it was lightning and yes I got stuck by a fucking lighting, a happy way of god saying ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY!’.”

“With a huge force I fell onto the ground, falling on my back I struggled from pain and barely could move. I could smell a burning chicken smell in the air, or more accurately a smell of my burning flesh. I was coughing like crazy, my body was shivering uncontrollably, It was one of the most painful experience I ever felt till now, but thanks god I was still alive. But you know how god loves to give many presents to people especially to me, another flash of lightning could be seen in the sky and yet again I could hear the horn of Zeus, ringing in my ears.”

“After a few seconds of darkness, I could feel a burning pain again from all over my body, my ears were bleeding and I couldn’t even take one breath. My head was spinning and my ears were ringing nonstop, my mouth was full with a taste of iron, I opened my eyes but barely could keep them open.”

“I was sure that I am going to die any moment from my injuries, but god had a different plan, surely he said ‘WHY TO STOP NOW, HERE ANOTHER PRESENT!!!’, I saw another flash of light, the pain went through my body yet again. From the tip of my toes till the edge of my teeth I could feel it, as if a huge hot nails traveled truth all my body, but not even a sound came from my mouth. Don’t get me wrong if I could scream I would, but it was impossible for me at my state, at last after moments of agony and pain I blacked out, no I didn’t… I died.”

“The chance of getting hit by lightning once is close to zero and a chance to being hit by lightning three lighting in a row is almost impossible. I won that lighting lotto three times, aghh what could I say I guess the world agreed with every word I said that day and wanted to stop my misery. But for fun and giggles, a little torture is needed. Wait did I died? No, I didn’t die I am here alive feeling kinda weird but still alive and looking at these beautiful colors.”

“Wait all this time I didn’t even blink once, surely it’s from shock… I can’t blink…” but not only blinking but I couldn’t say a word, or make a sound at all. “Forget blinking and screaming I have a bigger problem I can’t feel my legs.”

In fear, I said to myself: “Please tell me I am not paralyzed because of those stupid *presents*.”

“Wait I can’t feel any part of my body at all, not only that but I can’t move, I don’t think that I am bound by something, so the only logical explanation is that I am paralyzed, but didn’t I feel the wind a minute ago? Yes… If I concentrate on my body I can barely feel it, my legs kinda cold and many?…”

“Ok let’s just forget the legs, for now my lower body is really really thin?… No no no, I do remember being slim, but not like that not even close and my upper body is flying in the wind? I can’t move I can’t even close my eyes and screaming is not an option as well, all my body is weird and fluffy?… What the hell is going on!?” And just a moment later with annoying mighty voice, it came.

*Skill learned “Self Awareness”*

“What? What was that? Did I just heard a voice?” I asked myself. “Did it said skill *Self Awareness*?” Just when I mumbled that in my mind, information filled my head.

*Self Awareness Status*

-Ontopary bush-

Rarity: Common

Health: 4/4

Mana: 8/12

Stamina: 3/3

Race: Berry bush.

Status: Unique-Intelligent

Skills:

*Self Awareness Lv1* *Magic Perception Lv1(Active)*

“What is this information filling my head? Self awareness status? Does it mean its information about myself? Wait did it just said that I am a bush?… A bush you gotta be kidding, I am a bush? So this is my life now, don’t tell me it’s one of this stupid reincarnation story where the soul missed its target be a mile and got STUCK IN A FUCKING BUSH!!!”

“For god sake, I turned into a bush? What the is going on I don’t understand, how what why? Did god really hated me this much, or did the universe wanted to torture me even more.” Confused and in shock I shouted to myself.

“No no no, this is just a stupid dream, I am going to wake up any moment in my warm bed, do my stupid morning routine and be a lazy ass I always was. It’s just a stupid dream it’s surely just a huge stupid dream! WAKE UP!! COME ON WAKE UP!!! Forget this beautiful scene forget this weird feeling, I must wake up!” Trying to do anything with my body, to slap myself to pinch but with no avail.

“I can’t move, fuck! I can’t even close my eyes. Wait if this not a dream does it mean that I will never move from here and be trapped inside the body of a bush forever, or at least till a day that some cow will come and eat me?”

My mind started to fill up with so many emotions, such as with uncertainty, loss, fear and the most annoying feeling that I can remember for the longest of time loneliness. “I won’t be able to move from this spot at all, I will be all alone yet again slowly dying in this stupid new body, without any hopes of contacting the outside world.” I started to panic. “Oh my god, I can’t breath!!!… Wait I really can’t breathe, do I even breath?”

*A new Title have been acquired “Clutz”*

I screamed inside my head “Do you think this is funny, do you think its a joke, my life is in pieces I lost everything and now you making fun of me?!” I waited a few moments but no answer was given back. “Uhh I need to calm down, calm down.” after few minutes of panic and mumbling to myself and after looking at the beautiful scenery again that was before me, I calmed down.

*Skill learned “Calm Mind”*

Again this voice inside my head, I guess it’s not alive or it’s just a part of the current me now. After looking at the mountains and the sky, still trying to recover even the smallest part of my memory that was left, hours have passed and the sun was already setting down.

Then without a warning everything just went pitch black, did I fall asleep or did I die. I didn’t care, but I couldn’t think about anything at all, slowly my mind drifted away and I got what I really needed a rest.