We hung in the air for what felt like hours, the gravity of the situation settling on our shoulders. My shoulders at least, I don’t know what the others are thinking. Mountains crumble beneath us in flashes of light. The inhuman screeches of dying Mountains fades into white noise as I contemplate my fate…. And the notifications I just received.

The implications of there being new colors for me to unlock and influence is something I can’t even begin to fathom. No, that is not true. It’s exciting and promises adventure and improvement in the future, but it isn’t the most important thing on my mind right now.

Speaking of adventure and improvement, the title seems useful. “Unconventional Mountain Climber” is much better than that “Snowflake” title I got saddled with early on. But, is it too useful? It is so useful that it is suspicious how useful it is. Not only that, but it seems inherently geared toward evil-esque uses. Gaining experience from the actions you manipulate other people into doing? That doesn’t quite stand up to the hero, out to protect the world, vibe I want to pursue. The challenges in my old world felt arbitrary and overblown, but the ones here are very real. Too real. Overwhelming.

Overwhelmed actually describes how I feel right now fairly well.

Sure, I was able to send our test Mountain Creature (there is no way I’m going to memorize their species name) into a frenzied rage, causing the other Mountain Creatures to turn against it, ripping it to shreds. But at the end of the day, I failed. I couldn’t kill it with my power alone.

I did my best.

I labored for hours, pouring my heart and soul into that spell matrix.

It wasn’t enough.

I’m not enough.

The Unmoving Mountain is supposed be on a different level than the ones destroying each other beneath us. A qualitative step above. A step that I can’t hope to bridge, even with this steady trickle of level ups coming my way.

A few extra points here and there are not going to give me enough power to decimate the foes in my path. I struggle to learn and level up, but it feels like I’m getting nowhere, and the challenges are getting more and more difficult.

It’s just so frustrating! In my old life I never had to try at anything. The World would bend itself backwards to cater to my every whim. But here… Here I’ve pour my blood, sweat, and tears into becoming stronger. I have put every ounce of effort I possess into this venture, but still I receive nothing.

I have no choice but to face the facts.

I need to come to grips with what a failure I am. There is no one to blame but myself and my poor decisions. Leveling and magic aside, I traded away my race and natural talent for a weird evolutionary system that I don’t fully understand; I plunged head first into a relationship with unforeseen consequences I am woefully underprepared for; And, worst of all, I let myself become trapped in this shitty situation.

Fuck. I don’t want to do this.

It’s too difficult for me.

I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. Well, an Unmoving Mountain and a homicidal maniac. Same difference though, right?

What the hell am I-

“Snowflake,” Quinn’s voice cuts through my depressing inner-monologue. “What happened? I’m getting all of this experience from our party share. Did our plan work? Did you kill it?”

“No,” the word comes out of my mouth sharper than I intended. “The other mountains killed it. I think we are getting experience for influencing its actions and inciting the all the mayhem. I’m pretty sure, actually. I got a notification saying something along those lines.”

“Well,” Quinn says, drawing the word out with a thoughtful look on her face. Probably trying give herself time to phrase her thoughts. “Do you think you could… Is it possible to… What I’m trying to ask is if there is a way to get a bunch of these Mountain Creatures to turn against the Unmoving Mountain? If you get credit for the kill, it should work out, right?”

Hope blooms in my chest like a flower in spring, before being ruthlessly destroyed by Kandra’s words. I suppose in that metaphor Kandra’s words would be equivalent to a carelessly placed footstep. Or a deer. Or a something else that is destructive towards blooming flowers. Fuck, it doesn’t matter. I’m not a botanist.

“It won’t work,” Kandra’s tone is as cold as her words. “The position of Guardian is only granted to the strongest Mountain Creature. This Guardian has held its position for thousands of years. With its job as Guardian giving it experience dividends as well as unique benefits, it has only grown stronger since obtaining the position. Riling up enough Mountains to kill it in the crossfire is an impossible task. Even if we could do it, do we even have enough time to accomplish such a feat?”

A dark cloud settles over me, both literally and figuratively. Figuratively because, you know, I feel shitty about this entire situation. Literally because there is literally a dark grey, almost black cloud floating above us. It is stark contrast to the huge white clouds in the distance. Only one cloud growing dark is a strange phenomenon in my eyes, but this Dungeon has living mountains so who am I to judge? I’ve got bigger problems to deal with.

“I know you are hesitant to do this,” Quinn positions herself to look me straight in the eye, her voice soft and almost regretful. “You have to let me [Engrave] you. It’s the only way for us to defeat the Unmoving Mountain and escape. It is the only way for us to be together. You want to be with me… don’t you?”

Wow, I didn’t expect to be put on the spot like this immediately after a catastrophic personal failure. I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised though. My life getting progressively worse is a common theme.

Do I want to be with Quinn? No, that’s not really the question I should be asking myself. The question that burns in my heart is one I ashamed to admit.

Am I willing to abandon Quinn to her fate?

… Can I escape and survive without her?

I’m not a hero anymore. I don’t fight injustice, I’m a victim of it. The only weak and innocent I protect nowadays is myself. Without the strength to live my life the way I want to, my life is a lie. All I can do is flail about trying to stay alive.

But is that all I want from life? Surely there must be some benefit to fighting against impossible odds? I mean, all she is asking me to sacrifice is the use of Source for a short period of time. Fighting against impossible odds and self-sacrifice is what a hero is supposed to be about, right?

Fuck it. It doesn’t even matter. I’m in too deep to get out of this now. The only way out of this mess is forward, and that’s the way I’m gonna go.

“I’ll do it.”

***

“Okay, this will hurt quite a bit, but I need you to focus on my voice and staying conscious,” Quinn’s voice echoes in the small cave, far removed from the mayhem we caused. Her wings glow with white light, eradicating every trace of shadow and darkness, as well as illuminating the tool clenched in her hand.

Clenched is the wrong word. She is holding it with a delicate touch, like a quill of some sort. However, instead of a feather dipped in ink, the instrument in her hand is a short rod, smooth and slender. Every once in a while, I can make out a rune glimmering on its surface, but it’s not enough to solve any of the mysteries associated with the alien looking object.

Not that I really care. I just want to get this over with.

“The easiest way to think of this is as forming a contract with the System itself,” Quinn somehow actives the device, causing a steady ball of blue flame to appear at its tip. Without further ado, she touches it to my bare chest, just above my heart. The pain rips through me, causing me to jerk against the anti-source restraints Quinn so kindly provided. Everyone gathered in the small cave winces as my screams echo against the walls. Originally, I wanted something to bite down on but… Monster teeth cut through a lot of things.

“Snowflake,” Quinn talks in clear, soothing tones. “Focus on my words. Listen to what I’m saying, it’s very important that we do this, and we are running out of time. You have to endure the pain, okay? If my husband ever gets his hands on you, you’ll wish for pain as easily endured as this. Trust me, of all people I know best.”

I close my mouth, stifling the screams. My hands claw at the ground, digging furrows with my talon-like claws. My eyes well with tears of pain, frustration, and helplessness, but… But I endure. There is nowhere to go but forward now.

The bridges behind me are burnt.

Fighting is my only option.

“I’m not sure how true this is, but I overheard the Guildmaster say it. He said that Source is an entity in and of itself, and not just a formless energy. He seems to think that all Source comes from the Awakened brought to this ‘Multiverse,’” Quinn’s hands briefly leave my chest for just long enough to do air quotes around the word multiverse.

I’m in a little too much pain to appreciate sarcasm right now Quinn, but thanks anyway.

“He thinks that some greater being takes away our former prowess and converts it into a neutral energy, Source, which is then used to do… a bunch of stuff. I don’t remember all he said but that’s basically the gist of it,” Quinn’s carving slows as she takes a deep breath. It’s hard to tell through the tears in my eyes, but her she seems to be centering herself to increase her focus. Undeterred, she continues her monologue. “This [Engraving] technique is something I learned in my old world when I was hunting heretics. In one of their secret hideouts I found a book detailing a way to strike deals with demons, devils, and evil gods through engraving runes into your body.”

Wait. What the fuck?

I mean, I know I was a Demon Lord, so I can’t exactly judge, but of all people I should know that demons aren’t known for making fair and reasonable deals. Hell, if I had a gold for every time my dad gave me a shitty deal when I was growing up, I’d have enough gold to cast a life-sized statue of myself.

I open my mouth to say something, but instead I let out a bloodcurdling scream.

“Shhh, shhh. It’ll be over soon,” she murmurs before soldiering on. “For some reason the System let me keep those memories and even granted me a job based on them, [Body Engraving]. What I’m doing here is writing a contract. I’m not totally sure of all the details, but the basic idea is that once the contract is evoked you’ll be provided with enough power to do whatever it is you’re trying to do. In return, you’ll stop receiving Source until the amount you used plus interest is repaid. I’m pretty sure the rate at which you repay is just your natural Source regeneration rate.”

Fuck. Fuck.

That sounds like a deal my dad would be proud of, which means it is absolutely terrible for me.

Damn it to hell. Damn everything to hell!

“Just hold still for another few moments, darling. I’m almost done,” Quinn smiles, painfully oblivious to the horrible deal I’ve just been saddled with. “Oh, one last thing. There is probably a clause in here about collateral if you fail to repay the Source. I don’t know what the collateral is, but it is something worth keeping in mind, okay?”

My soul.

The collateral is probably my soul.

On the Brightside, at least if I don’t pay back the Source the Guildmaster won’t be getting ahold of my soul. It’s the small things that count, right?

My dad would be so ashamed of my deal making skills.