《Songs of Mercy》Chapter 20

Advertisement

Tobias held the wooden handle of the axe tightly, working through the pain of forming calluses and blisters. With every strike he thought of Kianna, the bread thief he told himself he helped, but knew he didn't. He thought of her brother, Coby, who he sent to prison for doing nothing wrong. He split the log of wood before him and he thought of the woman they slipped the vial to. The one he had considered using on the woman he loved.

Was he supposed to just leave them there to fend for themselves? Maybe. It wasn't his choice to make. Not even that woman's family. But... they had a chance to live a normal life now. Though it didn't relieve his guilt, his awful feeling eating away inside.

He slammed another log into place and struck down with all his might, taking out the anger for himself onto the wood. He would make up for it somehow. He didn't know how. But he would. He would make up for everything he's done wrong.

Crack went the wood. The sun bared down on his bare back. Blood dripped from his hands. The piles grew. Crack. He was awful. Crack. There must have been something else he could have done for them. Crack.

"Tobias." Kip's voice was gentle behind him. He swung down, splitting another piece of wood, its two parts tumbling away. He nearly fell forward. He came back to the world then, turning to look at Kip who looked at him with concern. "Tobias we're still training today. Why are you working yourself so hard?"

Tobias breathed heavily, swallowed, cleared his throat. He looked down and stepped closer to her. She took his hands and saw the blood, the wounds that had opened from the wooden handle of the axe. "Tobias," was all she said, looking up at him.

"I can't get them out of my head. Those people I gave that vial to." His heart was racing. He felt ashamed in her presence. "I don't know how you can bear to be with me knowing what I did, Kip."

Kip held him close and squeezed his arms. "You were stuck with two horrible decisions," she said. "Nothing would have been the better one."

Tobias shook his head. "I hurt her. Gods, I don't even know her name... Gods..." His lip trembled. "I just wish there was something I could do. I feel as though I shouldn't have made a decision at all. I shouldn't have given them that."

"You gave them a way out, that's all," she said. "If they decided to use it, it's on them."

Tobias shook his head. "No. No, if they used it I'm the one who's responsible."

Kip sighed and caressed his face. "You're not a bad person, Tobias. You tried to live up to what you stood for. You have to forgive yourself." She hugged him.

"I love you," he said. "I will find a way to make it up to them. I have to do something someday. But..."

"...but you can't," she said. "We can't go back there." She pulled him by the arm. "Come on, we need to treat those hands of yours."

He stood very still for a moment. Then, dropped the axe and followed her inside and felt so blessed by her care. He would never be able to forgive himself for what he's done. But he was happy she had. He wasn't worthy of it. Kip brought him into the house they were staying in. She used cloth and alcohol on his palms and he sucked in breath from the sting. Nobody was home but them, tasked with helping with the woodwork and yard work to pay for the roof over their heads.

Advertisement

Kip kept looking up at him. All he could do was smile at her. She kissed his palms and wrapped them up in cold, wet rags and told him to give them a gentle squeeze.

"Come here," she said. She stood up and guided him into the room they stayed in where she rested with him on the bed, facing him. He slowly relaxed and placed his on her belly. Twenty-five weeks already. And it showed. Their child was here with them. The world they were bringing them into was harsh, full of pain. But perhaps they could build something nice. Something better.

"How would our child think of me if they knew," Tobias said. "If they knew what I've done."

"They would know you did the best you could under the circumstances. You helped those people the best way you could with what the world offered you." She held his hand as he pressed. They both felt their child kick and they laughed.

"Please promise me you'll forgive yourself, Tobias. No one else can. You're a good man. You'll be a good father, too." She moved close to him. "You've been good to me. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but with you."

He smiled and clenched his eyes shut as tears rose up. "Thank you, Kip."

"If you need punishment," she said, "I'd be happy to give to you. During our sparring. As well as in other ways." She hugged him close.

Kip grasped her sword tightly and met Tobias' strike. He was holding back, which was adorable but not what she needed. They had been training together for months now along their journey. They couldn't just count on staying hidden and being lucky. Tobias was a skilled, strong warrior. So was she -- but she had to keep her skills honed even while twenty-five weeks into her pregnancy.

She exhaled and stepped away, twirling her blade.

"You're stronger than that," she said. "You think I can't handle it?"

Tobias sighed and loosened his fighting stance. They were in the fields behind a small town in Chamson, hundreds of miles away from the Kingdom now, past the Scarred Lands. High in the mountains. The heat was strong, not unbearable, but heavy after a full hour of sparring.

"Kip, this will always make me incredibly nervous."

She widened her stance and held the tip of her blade forward. "The blades are dulled, Tobias. And I can take you," she grinned. "You know I won't let you land a strike on me."

He raised his eyebrows and raised his weapon again. "Oh, is that so?"

Kip lunged forward and Tobias stopped her sword from driving itself into his stomach. If it did, it would have certainly hurt but that's all. She knew Tobias would hold back. There's no way he'd go all out. But he would give her a challenge at least, which she needed. She wouldn't be of no help if they faced danger.

Her footwork was sloppy, not yet used to the new weight in her center. She got exhausted more easily. But she drank extra and ate extra to make up for the additional effort she needed to keep up with her training. Tobias blocked her thrusts and when he tried to return an attack, she secured her left foot, held herself strong and swung up, knocking away his arm. She held the hilt with two hands and lunged forward, the tip of her blade stopping just before his chest.

Tobias grabbed his chest, stuck his tongue out and decided to be an ass.

Advertisement

"Agh! Oh no!" he cried out, stumbling about. "I've been struck! Blood is everywhere!"

Kip stared at him, eyebrow raised.

"Kip how could you!? Augh! Oogh!" He fell to his knees then onto his back.

Kip couldn't help but laugh, breathing heavily, and walked over to him. "Enjoying yourself?"

"Sort of," he smiled up at her. "I didn't hold back that time, just so you know. I was going right for your chest. You just keep getting better."

Kip helped him up and dusted him off. She breathed through her dizziness, despite all she did to keep herself hydrated and steady during her pregnancy, despite being able to fight, she knew she was pushing herself hard. She wiped sweat from her brow and held Tobias' hand.

"Let's get some water," she said, using him for support.

They had arrived in the town of Calcheth just two weeks ago. And they were already planning on departing once again. This was the life they had to live, after all, at least for the foreseeable future. Tat, the woman Tobias was instructed to meet by order of Cade was finishing up the papers required for them to become citizens of the Republic. But, for now, they were known as Erickson and Nisa, citizens of the Scarred Lands which didn't require much. They simply had papers showing they were not affiliated with any particular country, the Scarred Lands being seen as more of an in-between space of the continent.

Kip walked alongside Tobias through the town of Calcheth, the kindly mountain people greeting them with smiles and waves as they passed by. The day they arrived they were taken in by Emery and Tilla, two kindly woodworkers along with their daughter Cisha.

Everyone was so friendly and personable. The children weren't afraid to run up to inspect Kip's large belly.

They stopped to accommodate a few of them, a young girl wanting to feel their baby kick inside of her. When she did she screamed and laughed with her friends.

"It feels so weird!" the young girl cried.

Kip laughed. "You're telling me."

They continued their way back to the house they stayed in where they greeted Emery, working hard at the lumber mill behind the large stead. He called out to them, wiping his brow with a rag.

"Greetings, friends," he breathed. He was a tall man, his entire head completely bald with a neatly kept black beard, his skin nearly the same deepness of hue.

Tobias waved and kissed Kip on the head, telling her he'd fetch some water for the three of them. Emery descended the ramp after moving a hefty log onto the platform to be cut by the saw at some point. Kip took a seat beneath nearby trees, the family having an array of seats and tables by the river streaming past their property.

Emery exhaled heavily as he sat down next to her.

"So," he said, "You're both moving on already, then? We'll miss having you around."

Kip nodded. "We'll never forget your hospitality. We hope to visit Chamson again someday, and we'd love to come by this town again. But travel is what's in store for us, for just a little bit longer."

Emery nodded and smiled wide. "I commend your strength. The lands between Chamson and the Scarred Lands can be dangerous. But you're both well-suited for danger it seems. Hells, my brother has a larger gut than you do and he can barely throw a spear well while hunting!" They both laughed, him just a bit louder. "I feel bad for anyone who is unlucky to face you at your full strength, Nisa."

She still struggled remembering to answer to that name, even with someone speaking directly to her. "As do I," she grinned. "So far we've been okay. And it's not much longer now until we meet her," she said looking down at herself. She closed her eyes and felt her daughter, building her strength, waiting impatiently to run about in the world. "She's eager. Kicking away, incessantly. She'll be a fighter. Just like --" Erickson. Not Tobias. "Just like Erickson. Just like me."

"I believe that!" Emery said. "She, huh? So you both had it confirmed then?"

Kip shook her head. "Can't explain how I know. I just have a strong feeling that we'll be bringing a strong, beautiful daughter into the world."

"Have you both decided on a name for her?"

Kip smiled. They had. But it was better if she didn't say. As much as she liked the Chamsian people, they couldn't take any risks. They would settle in with everything once they got to the Republic. "Not yet. Though we've considered naming her after one of the Goddesses."

"Ahhh," Emery grinned. "Inspired by the Goddesses, hm? Our daughter Cisha is named after them too. Cishiya. Holder of Light." He leaned back in his chair and looked up to the sky. "Like most places to the South, we aren't very religious. But my wife Tilla is very inspired by the Goddesshood. We've visited Umsa many times to pray and meditate with the holders of the faith. We don't follow it, really... we just..."

"...prefer to hold onto some hope?" Kip nodded. "I don't know what I believe in these days. But if I had to pick a belief, I would pick the Goddesses. They stand for the way Nadi used to be. Before the Kingdom. Before we lost all sense of hope for the future and mercy for our enemies."

Tobias returned, balancing three tall stone cups of water. He handed them out and sat down next to Kip. Kip drank deeply, relieved to have some refreshment with the shade.

"Nisa was just telling us about your daughter," Emery said. "And sharing some much needed wisdom that many seem to lack these days."

Tobias swallowed his drink and exhaled, satisfied. "She's my anchor in that way," he smiled at her. "Nisa never loses her determination. If it wasn't for her I... well, I don't think I'd be here right now." They shared a look. Kip never saw a lack of pain in Tobias' face. It pained her deep inside how hurt he was by so many things. How much he blamed himself. She squeezed his hand.

"I feel the same way," she said, never breaking eye contact from him. "Erickson would risk death for me. He's done it before. No one's ever done such a thing for me."

"Well," Emery said. "Make yourselves comfortable for the remainder of the day. We were happy to have you. We'll be up to say farewell in the morning!"

Kip and Tobias made their way to their room to secure their packs and make sure they didn't forget anything. In the morning, they would travel back to the town of Reyant in the Scarred Lands to meet with Tat and secure their new papers to cross the border into the Republic and become official citizens...

...She would never forget the struggle to get here. The panic. The push to keep moving. The day they arrived at the tavern Tat worked in, she was furious. Her name matched the look. A tall woman with tattoos covering nearly every inch of her body. Quickly, she brought them down into the cellar of her establishment and fixed them up with specific Alchemical mixtures designed to douse their natural scent. She worked quickly, handing them vials, making them spread the liquid all around the tavern as well as the direction they entered from.

Afterwards, she allowed them a day of rest but told them they would need to leave early the next morning. It is crucial that you keep moving, she said. Gods, what happened to make you both come here early? Never mind, it doesn't matter. Here's a map of towns where you can easily find work and cheap housing. Extra dousing potions to mask your scent. Sprinkle it behind you as you go. I'm certain whoever the Kingdom sends after you will be using Hawks to sniff you out. Head for Chamson. Get as far away as you can and hold out while I contact my people and secure your new documents... Gods. You're both lucky to have a man like Cade on your side.

It was so much to take in. So much to care for and be worried about. But they moved constantly. Changing direction. Never staying anywhere longer than a couple days. Tat had given them some rations and money but it ran out within weeks. They had to find manual labor jobs which weren't hard to find in a place like the Scarred Lands. Week after week. Until it was month after month. And as far as they both knew they were safe. No one had come after them and there didn't seem to be much suspicious activity around them. But they were still careful as always...

And now here they were. On the edge of total freedom. They had truly made it. Just one more step.

"Looks like we have everything." Tobias sifted through their bags in their room. "We have our ride secured for the morning with one of the merchants. He can take us to the border of the Scarred Lands but no further." Tobias took a final look at the packs until he finally saw Kip reaching out for him. She needed him to relax, to be at peace every now and then.

He smiled and took her hand and she pulled him onto the bed, resting on her side.

"I'm going to miss it here," he said, rubbing her belly, his other arms propped up under his head.

"I will too," Kip said, placing her hand on his chest. "Is the door locked?"

"Mhm," he said.

She kissed his neck and looked up at him. "You're so tense," she said. But as she kissed and felt him he loosened a bit. She moved down and he stopped her a moment. She did, looking up into his eyes.

"You don't have to," he said. "I'd rather pleasure you. You deserve it."

She shook her head and blushed. "This would pleasure me." She admired his eyes, reached up and felt his stubble. "I want you to feel good. To let go. We're safe. And when we're not, we'll fight." She moved up and her lips brushed against his. "You're a good man." She had to tell him that. He didn't believe he was. He believed he was just as bad as the extremists of the Kingdom. Perhaps what he did was a mistake. But there wasn't a person alive who hasn't made one. Who hasn't harmed another. She repeated -- "You're a good person. And I want you to fall into that. Just this once. That's what I want from you now."

He held her and breathed out slowly. "Okay," he said. "Okay."

Kip kissed him down the length of his body. They were both sweaty, both unkempt from the day's work, but she wanted it that way. She wanted every bit of him, just as he was..

They were silent, moving together, moving beyond Kip's initial wants, finding they both needed much more. Their bodies moved slow despite the occasional flinches and gasps of pleasure.

Kip fell into him, breathing out the last of her strength for the day and he held her, exhausted, smiling, his cheeks red and his eyes squinting in that genuine smile of his. She held him as they drifted away into sleep, their bodies hot but the descending night becoming chilly. She held him as she heard his heart eventually level out, the calmest beat she had heard from his chest in a long time. She would hold him for as long as she could.

The next morning, Kip was up incredibly early. Her baby was rowdy, kicking away and shifting about. Kip often felt this strange sensation when her baby was moving. It was a... tingle. It gave her this strange sense of energy. She couldn't describe it. If anything she should have felt tired more often. And oftentimes she did. But other times... she felt incredibly strong.

Tobias was in a deep sleep. She let him rest, moving slow, slipping on some clothes and ducking out of the house.

The morning was still grey. Her bare feet were cold and she shuddered in a breath. But she enjoyed the chill. It woke her up. Surprisingly she wasn't very hungry so she went for a walk through the forests surrounding Calcheth. She moved slowly, stepping on rocks and twigs. Kip tried to strengthen her feet when she could, walking barefoot on the harsh grounds, connecting with Nadi through her skin and breath. If anything was her religion it was this feeling of peace she received in moments of solitude. But... this time she wasn't alone. She chatted with her daughter, the only sounds of the early morning being the pecking of birds and the soft whistles of wind high above in the trees.

"I hope you like your name," she said. "You can always pick a new one if you don't." She took a turn and touched the tree trunks as she passed them by. "I'm sorry for how much mommy moves around. But, to be fair, you don't seem to let up either. I love how active you are." She felt something press against the inside of her, as if in response. She laughed. "I can't wait to show you so many things. I can't wait to answer all your questions. I can't wait to see who you'll grow up to be." She rubbed her belly. "I promise to be proud of you no matter what." She laughed. "Even if you're not our daughter at all. No matter who you are."

Kip looked up, having turned just a bit off the trail and heard movement. She stopped. It sounded like fire. She furrowed her brow and slowly moved up, peeking down the small hill just ahead, dipping down into a clearing off the trail just near a cliff.

It was Cisha, the daughter of Emery and Tilla. Her hand was on fire.

"Cisha!" Kip exclaimed. "Are you okay?"

Cisha flinched and the fire went out, vanishing into nothing. Kip had started to move forward but stopped in her tracks when she saw it happen. Kip stared. Cisha stared back, her eyes wide. The girl was... there was no denying it. The girl was unharmed. She saw the flame be sucked in as if she had breathed it into her skin.

"You're Cursed!" Kip said, instantly covering her mouth. It was a force of habit to use the word.

Cisha clenched her eyes shut and turned away. "Please don't call me that."

"I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." She eased her way down the small decline of land and stood before the teenage girl. "Really. That's an awful word. I shouldn't have said it."

Cisha carefully looked back at her. "You... seem incredibly calm."

Kip sighed. "I've been through too much to be too surprised anymore. Gifted, right? That's the word?"

"...yeah."

Kip was silent, realizing the weight of such a thing. "Do your..."

"No, they don't know." Cisha stared up at her, her eyes big and blue. She had a lighter hue of her father's skin, her hair braided down her back in intricate detail. She was breathing heavily. Her hands were shaking just a bit. "No one's up this early, usually. No one's supposed to come out this way this early. Damn it."

Kip raised her hands and shook her head. "No, don't worry. I'm not going to tell anyone. I promise."

"How can I trust you?" Cisha said, backing away. "I barely know you. My parents barely know you."

Kip smiled. "How about I tell you a secret about myself in return? Then we're both on equal footing."

Cisha was silent. But didn't move or say anything back. So Kip spoke.

Kip grinned. "My name isn't really Nisa. It's Kip. My partner's name is really Tobias. And we're on the run from the Divine Force."

Cisha gasped. "No way."

Kip nodded. "Trust me, we wouldn't come here if we thought we'd bring trouble to your town. We've been moving for months. Covering our tracks, hiding well. Whoever was after us either gave up or lost the trail. Maybe they're still out there..." she paused, looking out over the cliff, seeing only tree trunks. "...But if they are, they'll never find us. And someday we'll be citizens of the Republic."

Cisha was silent. Kip looked down at her.

"I know the danger posed to the Gifted. You're either hunted or feared and distrusted. And the Divine Force sends their goons everywhere..." she stopped talking. Gods, she was probably scaring the girl. "Your secret is safe with me."

Cisha nodded. "Same here."

"Do you mind... if I see it again? I've never met someone with a Gift."

Cisha hesitated. Then she smiled a bit and agreed. She held out her hand and seemed to focus. Then, her face hardened and she clenched her eyes shut. They were both very still for a while.

Then, a light sparked within her palm and a bright flame appeared, crackling and dancing about. Cisha smiled, seemingly breathing a sigh of relief. She moved her hand about -- tossed the flame to the other palm. She used both hands to make the flame into an orb which grew and shrunk with the movement of her hands.

"Wow," Kip breathed. "You're incredible, Cisha. When did you learn you could do this?"

Cisha grinned and pressed her palms together making the fire vanish. "When I was very young I learned candles wouldn't burn me. That was when I knew there was something strange about me. And then, one day... it's sort of embarrassing... but I got in a fight with my friend while we were hiking and fire burst out from my fingertips. It landed on the dry leaves but luckily he tossed his shirt on it and put out the flames." Cisha smiled. "He's the only other person who knows about me."

Kip nodded. "Do you think you'll ever travel to Matrun someday? I hear your kind is safe there."

"I'm not sure... I can't imagine leaving everything behind. But I also can't imagine hiding who I am forever." Cisha then looked at Kip and raised her eyebrow. "Okay, are you going to stop leading me on now?"

"Wh--what?"

Cisha sighed and crossed her arms. "Come on. You're Gifted too. You can admit it now. I just told you all that.

Kip laughed but her cheeks became red at the accusation, making her look even more guilty of a potential lie. "I'm not Gifted, Cisha. Really. What I told you was my actual secret. I mean, I have other secrets too but I'm not telling you those."

"Seriously? I can feel something familiar from you..." Cisha closed her eyes. "Yeah. Yeah, it's there."

"What's there?"

"It's something I feel sometimes when I practice. A tingle. I've heard that Gifteds call it Aura." Cisha looked up at her, directly into her eyes. "You're seriously telling me you're not Gifted?"

Kip laughed nervously. "I'm not! Really! I..." A tingle. She paused. Her hand went to her belly and she gasped.

"Your baby?"

Kip was silent. "I think you might be mistaken with what you're feeling." No. Was she? A tingle. Kip had just felt that constant, familiar tingle this morning. But it could have been anything, right? "My child couldn't possibly be..."

Cisha shrugged. "Nobody knows how Gifteds do what they do. I hear Alchemists say there's no reason to believe it's familial. After all, my parents aren't Gifted."

Kip stared at Cisha. Then, she felt dizzy and dropped to her knees.

"Hey! Hey you alright?" Cisha rushed over to her.

"Oh, I'm fine... Just suddenly realized how famished I am I suppose." Cisha held her up and Kip smiled down at her. "I just... sorry. There's been a lot for me to take in lately."

Cisha laughed and released her when Kip was standing up straight. "Sorry..."

Kip shrugged. "Well. If my kid has badass fire powers like you do... I suppose I wouldn't mind." She grinned. Cisha smiled up at her.

The two of them returned to the house to find Emery and Tilla had prepared a hot meal for them. Tobias was up, groggily eating his food and waved to them tiredly.

"There you are Cisha," Tilla said, kissing her on the head. She was a tall woman who looked much like an older version of Cisha but with thicker strands of hair up in a tall messy bun. "She loves her early morning walks. I see you do too. Cisha's always so quiet, it's a shame you can't stick around and go with her on her walks."

"Mom," Cisha complained.

Kip laughed, smiling wide at the girl. "I was quiet when I was younger too."

Cisha smiled at her as she joined them all at the table.

"Are you kidding?" Tobias said. "I nearly thought you'd pull my arm off everytime you dragged me off somewhere. Loud and rowdy."

Kip laughed and kicked him beneath the table. "Yeah because I wanted to impress you and bring you to all the places I would go while alone! Because you weren't making any moves. So I had to snatch you up."

They ate and chatted about their journey ahead. They had to meet with their rider soon, so they gathered their bags, double checked the room, secured their real, fighting blades and prepared to head out. Emery and Tilla hugged them both and wished them well on their journey.

Kip turned around and spotted Cisha in the window above. She smiled and waved, as did Cisha. They were both traversing this world carefully. Bruised emotionally from either direct pain inflicted by hate or treading lightly around potential disaster. Kip knew that Nadi was full of people like them. And her daughter would be the same. Gift or no Gift.

She held Tobias' hand tightly. He looked down at her and smiled.

"What if our child was Gifted?" She asked him.

Tobias' eyes slowly widened. They approached the carriage and he said nothing. They greeted the man who would bear their burdens and they headed out quickly. Tobias didn't say anything until they were on the back of the carriage, their hoods up, huddling in for the long journey. He wrapped his arm around her and squeezed.

"That would be... interesting for sure," he said, smiling.

Kip shivered. "It's wonderful to think of. But... it scares me. Of what she might face. Either way."

Tobias nodded. "We're going to be safe, Kip. And whatever we face, we face them together."

Kip felt the tingle. The tingle that could have been emanating from her child. Or, perhaps, it emanated from herself. A tingle that filled her with energy and intensity. "That's right. We'll be there for her. We'll be there when she's in danger. We'll be there to teach her and show her the world. We'll be there to give her courage." Kip smiled, settling in, comforting herself in Tobias' embrace.

"And she'll do the same for us," Tobias said.

    people are reading<Songs of Mercy>
      Close message
      Advertisement
      You may like
      You can access <East Tale> through any of the following apps you have installed
      5800Coins for Signup,580 Coins daily.
      Update the hottest novels in time! Subscribe to push to read! Accurate recommendation from massive library!
      2 Then Click【Add To Home Screen】
      1Click