《To Face The Gods》Chapter 14: Rat

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Freshly clean and dressed, Rat was escorted down through the enclave by Eileenagate. Fully awake and alert by now, due in part to the long night’s rest and in part to the enjoyable waterboarding, Rat took in the complex. Mostly they winded through halls with dim lights overhead. There were speakers and cameras on the walls at random intervals and many closed doors.

“Where is everyone?” Yesterday this place had been swarming. Even in her shocked state, she’d noticed people gawking as she’d been merrily rolled through the halls to the doctor’s office. Now it was dead.

“Well, if I told you what they told me to tell you, I’d say they were all sleeping or busy.” Eileenagate’s lips were twisted in disapproval, but at least it wasn’t at Rat’s expense. “Reality is, they don’t quite trust you yet and asked people to keep the halls empty.”

Disappointing. Rat’s shoulders slumped a fraction. So she was still a threat. “So you’re like, an armed guard?”

Eileenagate nodded. “Yep. That’s why I stripped naked to bathe you, armed only with a soapy rag.”

Rat blinked, slapped a bit by the sarcasm. “Well you could have had-”

“Shanks in my underwear? Yes there are armed guards watching on the cameras to make sure you don’t bite my throat out but I’m not honestly too worried. You’re practically a child.”

“I’m an adult. In my twenties. Like a real fucking adult.”

Eileenagate laughed heartily at that. “I don’t believe you.”

“I am! I’ve counted the fucking grepping winters the whole time I was a slave. I counted 22. Unless you’re trying to say that there are more than one winters in a fucking year.”

“No no, I guess I believe you. If it means anything, I do feel your pain.”

This didn’t mean anything to Rat, but it did mean something that Eileenagate wasn’t afraid of her and didn’t give her too much grief about her age.

Finally the halls opened up into a larger cement walled room, well furnished with desks and small tables. There were some people in this room, sitting on chairs around tables, talking in low words, murmuring in quick bursts. They almost all stopped, turning to look at Rat as she walked through. A few of them itched their hands towards weapons and Rat braced herself. Many just looked on in curiosity though and soon they were through the room.

“They take you in here and fill you with holes and have the nerve to take the moral high ground.” Eileenagate shook her head. “Aggressive and paranoid. And they think their cause makes them above rebuke.”

Rat nodded absently as they moved through more rooms. One with computers, another with tools, another with large couches and screens. Some with people, many empty.

As they headed down another corridor, Rat smelled their destination before she saw it. A rush of savory and spicy smells wafted from the two double doors ahead of them. The scrape and clank of dishes and lively chatter sounded and Rat looked up at Eileenagate. There was clearly very fine food in the room ahead and Rat’s stomach churned at the idea of food as fancy as the oatmeal she’d had at Yasmin’s office. The most likely scenario was that the nice food was meant for the officers and the rest would get the classic flavorless paste, but even the idea of eating paste while inhaling the mouth watering aromas was enough to make Rat’s stomach gurgle.

“And Galela didn’t even feed you yesterday,” Eileenagate was saying. “Woman lives in a food distribution center and couldn’t grab a can of figs for you to eat on the ride out here.”

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Then she shoved through the door, Rat ducking behind her as they flapped open. The place was packed with long tables, all full of men and women dressed either in the dustiest, sand colored rough hewn fabrics or brilliant scarves and veils. There was an excess of noise and color but Rat was expecting it now. Despite the color and the pitch of the conversation, it wasn’t so terribly different from the mines. High energy, happy energy, yeah that was new, but loud talking and eating, slurping and belching and clanking, that was old hat. That said, Rat did wish she’d had her scarf. She’d forgotten to look for it or ask for a new one before her shower.

She followed after Eileenagate as she lined up at a long counter. Rat, even on her tiptoes, wasn’t able to see over the counter.

“Just give her one of everything. She can figure it out when we get to the table.”

One of everything. Rat wasn’t entirely sure what that entailed but Eileenagate continued to slide two trays down the counter. They were taking too long for protein paste and Rat was starting to get anxious. Were they going to load up that tray with food? Actual food?

“Alright, follow me.” Eileenagate held the trays too high for Rat’s greedy eyes. “We’re gonna sit off to the side a bit, seeing as you look a bit overwhelmed. Need to focus on getting you fed, put some meat on those bones.”

They wound their way around tables and again Rat felt eyes on her. With so much blood and grime and sand washed away and the sting of the shower long gone, her skin had changed from a dull grey to a more brilliant white. It was the opposite of an advantage and only attracted eyes to her.

“Just ignore ‘em. They’ll get used to you being around.”

Ignoring them wasn’t gonna be easy though. Back at the mine, she wanted people to be scared of her and so it was easy to give them a glare with her burnt side, spit near them, snarl if they came too close. Here, for the first time, she wanted the opposite. Her isolation had always served as a defense mechanism, but here, being feared might hurt her. But for someone as physically revolting as her, it was hard to look harmless.

Being a Deathless probably also didn’t set their minds at ease, and the reminder of her supernatural nature made her head spin again.

“Right, here we go.” Eileenagate slapped down the trays and gestured at Rat to slide onto the bench across from her.

“What the fuck…” The words were almost reverent as Rat looked upon the bounty. There was a kind of meat, white with a red sauce, no sign of pink or black on it to signify over or under cooking. There was a pile of plants, wilted and steaming, a heavy scent coming off them that was just a little spicy. Then there was this pile of mush, a yellowish color with chunks of orange in it. It had a smooth, buttery smell. Finally in a little dish on the side, were some shriveled brown things with a darker brown sauce. They reminded her a bit of the oatmeal, both in smell and in appearance.

“I recommend starting with the chicken. It’s pretty good. The kale is good for you but...”

Rat barely took in a word Eileenagate said as she began to stuff as much food into her mouth as possible, hands immediately stained by sauces and juices alike. It was so overwhelming, the once overpowering smells now paling in comparison to the tastes that filled her mouth as her teeth and tongue pulverized the contents of her plate to a single paste. It was amazing, so amazing that Rat’s mind went silent until the tray was empty. Then Rat licked it over to clean it before licking down her hands. A belch worked its way out of her and she had to clamp her mouth shut fast to prevent anything else from escaping.

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“Well fuck me, that was fast.” Eileenagate’s mouth was dropped open, her plate still full. She held a metal fork in her hand, a piece of chicken speared on it, sauce slowly dripping off the meat. “Jesus ki- Rat.” She picked up a piece of clothlike paper and then looked, dismayed, at the mess coating Rat’s face and hands.

“Sorry.” Rat spoke without knowing what she was apologizing, but it seemed appropriate. A knot in her stomach formed around her scarfed down meal as doubts began trickling through her brain. Maybe this was meant to be shared. Maybe Rat was just supposed to watch it. Maybe this was a test or a trap.

“I’m gonna have a word with Galela. You look half starved, I’m not surprised you were so hungry. But child-” here she paused to rescue her chicken from its sad, abandoned state on her fork “-there are some foods you don’t eat with your hands.” Her words were a bit muffled through her food. “Sometimes you can get away with putting it on bread, but we don’t have any right now.”

Rat looked at the silverware as she idly licked a finger. Eileenagate pushed the piece paper in her hand.

“Stop that nonsense.” Eileenagate’s voice was brusque. “Use a napkin best you can. And we’re washing your hands after. With soap.”

Rat held the napkin, dabbing at her fingers while trying to lick any spare sauce off her hand without Eileenagate noticing. The woman picked at her food, slowly, and Rat marveled at how she could show so much restraint. “So what dictates when you use soap?” she asked.

“Oh for land’s sake. You always use soap.” Then the woman’s stormy face cleared, all but her eyes, which stayed cloudy. “They really treated you very poorly.”

A bit of an understatement but Rat didn’t know how to tell this woman that this was just how you treated slaves. This food, soap, clothes, it wasn’t a good idea to give to someone like Rat. Truth be told, Rat didn’t want to tell her but it sat uneasy in her stomach.

“Anyway,” she cleared her throat and went back to her food, “we’re going to pull you into meeting up with our group’s head.” Eileenagate finished her chicken, before moving on to the bowl of brown things.

“Why?”

Eileenagate looked at Rat, a shrewd expression on her dark face, lips pinched in something almost like a smile. “What do you want from this place?”

Rat crossed her arms, a bit of a pout on her lips. Why did people keep asking that? ‘What do you want?’ It’s either not a simple question or it’s too simple of a question. It kinda hurt Rat’s head to think about it too much. ‘Wanting’ was a state of being. People always ‘wanted’. She glowered at her food, pissed at the lack of specifics. What did she want from here? She’d been hoping for something safer and more secure than living in a trash can and sneaking around hunting mice, but she also had this idea in her head where she joined them and saved the world.

“I dunno, fight the Deathless?”

Eileenagate was quiet for maybe a minute before bellowing out with laughter. At first Rat just stared at her, before noticing that everyone else nearby also turned to look.

“Little Deathless got you all riled up, Leen?” asked a man from a nearby table. “She funny then?”

“Oh she’s a fucking riot, Ed,” Eileenagate called back, between chuckles. “Just dripping with sass.”

The man stood up. He had a weathered face but a friendly, relaxed grin. “It’s good to see. We’d heard stories.”

“Not great ones,” said another, this one practically a kid, with soft cheeks but haunted eyes.

Eileenagate motioned the two over. “We were supposed to keep her solitary for lunch but she ate the thing in 82 seconds. I counted.”

Rat stared at her empty plate, a flush over her head. “Don’t know why you eat so slow.”

“Hey, that’s how you do it. God you’re tiny. Gotta fix that.” Ed, the older man, sat next to Eileenagate while the younger man sat next to Rat. “So why the laughter? Our table’s felt empty without’cha.”

“Oh, Rat here wants to take out the Deathless,” Eileenagate said.

“Well I’m in the process of filling in the moon. I’ll help out when you’re down.” The boy’s voice, though definitely dropped, was high enough to grate on Rat’s nerves.

“Alright alright, fuck off,” Rat grumbled. “Thought that was what Galela said.”

Then the two men started laughing and Rat seriously considered just cursing them out and leaving.

“We ain’t laughing at you girl,” Ed said, catching her face. “Just at Galela. She’s a bit high reaching, if I might say.”

“She lives in the city,” the boy said. He was still laughing a bit but his eyes turned serious. “She sees the worst of Eden’s scum every day.”

Eden. That was a word Rat had heard before but she couldn’t place her finger on it. Before she could ask, Eileenagate spoke up.

“You’re not wrong, Avi,” she said, voice sober now. “But she’s filled Rat’s head with nonsense. And that was before we knew she was a Deathless.”

Ed let out a low whistle. “So that bit is true then? Damn near thought that son of a bitch doctor was pulling some wool over us until they wanted to be more open with the truth.”

“I’ve seen the video,” Eileenagate said. “Her brain slithered back into her skull through her eyeballs.”

“No shit, huh?” The old man shook his head. He caught Rat’s sulking expression and gave her a toothy grin. “All good girl. After all, you did beat a Drone. That bit’s right too, then?”

Eileenagate nodded. “Noha confirmed and she’s pretty reliable.”

“She’d better be,” Avi said, voice pitching high in excitement. “Wow that’s actually crazy. She can take out Drones.”

“What are Drones?” Rat blurted, before they could get too wrapped up in throwing language around. “Thought they were robots, right?”

The three exchanged uneasy looks and for a moment Rat thought they were gonna deny her an explanation. Avi wrinkled his nose and shrugged. Ed’s eyes dashed off to the side.

Then Eileenagate sighed. “Sorry for blowing it over your head again,” she said. “We’re just kinda trying to avoid giving you more misgivings. No doubt Galela thought she was being serious when she said the goal was taking down the Deathless but really it’s defense against them. Drones are… It’s complicated. A lotta talk that Wyane seems to make up and I really don’t have the clearance to go to the meeting with all the big heads.”

“Drones are like… worse Deathless, I guess.” Avi glanced at the other two, sounding a bit unsure of himself. Ed nodded, so he continued, more confidently. “Not more violent ones. Just worse made.There’s a theory that only super special people can be made into Deathless. Someone around here says that, anyway. Ordinary people just get made into Drones.”

“See that? You’re special.” Ed’s laugh was a bit of a wheeze but he looked pleased with himself.

Rat wasn’t sure if she should accept the compliment or be offended at the laugh. She didn’t care too much; she was just pleased to be getting more damn answers. “Ok so they’re made by the-” she stopped short. “Uh. Made by whatever makes… Deathless?”

“Yeah, we don’t know that bit,” Avi said, excited again. “We figured, if you were actually one, you’d know. What happened? How did you even get to be like this?”

“Uhh. The Butcher King kinda gave me a big quest. I talked a broken ship to death and woke up in gunky sand.” Rat’s teeth grit as she spoke, watching their expressions get more confused.

“Ah,” said Ed, and he sounded a bit disappointed. “Maybe Wyane can make heads or tails over that?”

Rat shook her head. “He said it wasn’t possible for me to exist.” Despite the confounded looks on the others at the table, Rat wasn’t too rattled by this. Her continued survival had always been a bit of a mystery to a lot of people.

A little chirp sounded and Eileenagate pulled up a glass pane, similar to what Wyane had used but smaller. It flashed a couple colors and she grimaced, rolling her eyes.

“Right, guess our meeting with the higher ups is starting 15 minutes early.” She pushed the tray, still with a buncha plants and some mush on it, away from her and heaved herself to her feet. “Come on, little one, let’s go.”

Rat froze at her words, heart hammering. Her body immediately broke out into a cold sweat as her fingers twitched towards the scars on her body. It was like the world around her didn’t exist for approximately five seconds.

She hadn’t been called that in years and she didn’t like it one bit.

“...Rat? Rat!”

She jumped, looking up at Eileenagate, and managed a quick witted “Huh?”

“You good?”

Rat wiped her palms on the side of her pants, before nodding, a little too fast to be convincing.

“Right. Ok, if you’re not up for this meeting, I’ll tell them. You’ve been through a lot of trauma and-”

“No.” Rat stood up. “Wasn’t the meeting. It was just…” Explaining how Eileenagate’s words had caused her to suddenly, in the span of a few seconds, relive the single best and most traumatizing parts of her life… probably not worth wasting the 15 minutes til the meeting on. “My brain fritzed. Let’s go.”

Still shaky, she pushed away from the table and began walking. There wasn’t much time to clear her head before the meeting but walking always helped.

“Rat!”

Rat turned on Eileenagate, growl in the back of her throat. “I don’t want to talk about-”

“Meeting’s this way? Come on girl, follow me.” Eileenagate’s head was tipped with exasperation and the two men at the table weren’t doing much to suppress laughs.

“Right.” Rat was, as usual, attracting stares from the rest of the mess hall and she scuttled after Eileenagate. “Bunch flagring cocksuckers back there. Can’t keep their fucking heads down for twenty whole seconds.”

“Yeah, they’re a nosy group. Only so much I can do to keep them from staring. If it’s any consolation, only half of them are afraid. The other half are curious or even hopeful.”

As the two wound their way around more of the underground labyrinth, Rat digested this last bit. Hope. It was barely a word that crossed her tongue in any positive way. ‘Hope the overseer chokes on his dinner and dies.’ ‘Hope we don’t have to keep working through the sandstorm.’ ‘Hope the mine collapses and kills us before this disease does.’ If Rat had ever inspired hope, it was because people hoped she’d die before she brought more misfortune to the mine. Now it was all different, all shaken up. And it wasn’t something Rat could easily place her feelings on.

But before she could wrap her head around the concept, the two arrived at a heavy metal door.

Eileenagae rapped on it three times. “I can’t go in with you, but they’ll take good care of you.” Her voice was a bit too rushed for Rat to believe her. “You let me know if they give you a hard time. I’ll make them pay for it, you got me?”

Rat nodded jerkily. “What are-”

Before she could finish her question, the door opened with a grace and silence she hadn’t expected, given its rusty looking hinges. In the doorway stood the hard eyed man who controlled the guards from yesterday. He gave Rat a piercing look before a grim smile spread across his face.

“Good, you’re here. We’ve been waiting.”

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