THE WAYS OF A SCOUNDREL

Lynne, with the bird and the monkey in tow, slowly moved through the stone-steeped mountains as he followed the path indicated on Elynal’s map. The journey was rather silent, as both the monkey and the bird spent majority of time resting.

After a passage of a few days, he had finally arrived at a small, mountain town called Xeyon. It was a dwelling of ‘forest folk’, but to Lynne, it was mostly just the land that required but one adjective: paradise. People, young and old, whistled about the small, rural town wearing nothing but a few leafs here and there, to cover the most important parts.

Lynne’s eyes glittered and drool appeared immediately at the corner of his lips; he wasn’t looking at the young, slender girls of fair skin – as the matter of fact, he didn’t even glance at them – since all of his focus was at the dozen or so middle-aged women that were currently in his sight. BEAUTIFUL!!!

He forgot about the teleportation array as if his main reason for coming here was to feed upon the scenery. Although the rural town wasn’t large, it still housed roughly two to three thousand people, and was well known for its several gem mines as well as special trees. One such tree was at the center of the town; it towered nearly three hundred meters into the air, branching out like sky. It bore no fruit and it had no survivalist purpose, but it was still considered a deity amongst the town folk.

All of the leafs which they used to cover themselves with came from this tree. In addition, they had a rather strange burial practice: upon death, bodies would be chopped into pieces neatly, and ‘fed’ to the tree. And, strangely, the tree actually ‘ate’ them, which most others outside the town contributed to the tree’s immense growth. Naturally, Lynne didn’t give a damn about that. He barely even looked at the massive tree before diverting his gaze back onto the beautiful maidens.

He moved inconspicuously towards a small inn. He was far from being the only outsider in the town, so he wasn’t too out of place. A whole heap of young studs would come here yearly to try their luck, but the people from the town had a very simple rule to deal with them: if you wish to fondle our people, you ought to become our people. Strangely, it was as if the rule wasn’t even in place, as most of youths who came here never left, which was also used to explain the growth of population.

Lynne had finally reached the inn, going over to the counter where he was welcomed by yet another mature maiden. She was head shorter than he was, endowed with magnificent twin peaks which were only half-covered with leafs, had wide hips and long, slender legs. Although her skin was wrinkled at some places, it merely helped give her more of a mature air, increasing her beauty factor. Lynne was barely able to suppress the glitter in his eyes as he arrived in front of her.

“Hello…” he said lowly, using every last ounce of self-control to look at the woman’s eyes.

“Oh, hello traveler!” the woman had a strange accent, which further increased the idea in Lynne’s head about ‘exotic beauties’. What’s more, her voice was extremely melodic and joyful, filled with warmth. Dammit woman! Were you hand-crafted just for me?! Dammit! How can I bear to leave this place now? “Do you wish to rent a room?”

“Uh, yeah, I want to be a groom—I mean sure, gimme a room.”

“Ha ha,” the woman laughed as she covered her mouth. “We have only the rooms with one bed. Is that okay?”

“Never heard anyone needing two beds for-- I mean, yeah, that’s alright.”

“Rylia, service me!” a youthful voice boomed out from behind Lynne; although it was brief, he noticed a quick change in the woman’s expression. However, she immediately went back to being ‘all smiles’.

“Will be right there Lord Thun!” her voice retained the same, gentle melody as she replied.

“Eh, hurry up! Just get Ely or someone else to take care of that kid!” Lynne glanced backwards and spotted a group of four men, dressed scarcely, fondling a group of five or six women; they definitely weren’t natives. Kid? You’re a kid! Your mom’s a kid!! Lynne wasn’t actually angry for being called a kid. As he had changed his appearance using Infinite Faces, he now looked to be roughly 16 years old. No, he wasn’t angry. He was just extremely jealous.

“I’ll be quick about it, Lord Thun!” the woman persisted, slowly stepping out and leading Lynne towards the room.

“Ha ha,” the one called Lord Thun laughed. “How else will that go? He’s a kid! Of course he’ll be quick!” Your mom’s quick!! Lynne nearly stumbled down and fell; the woman called Rylia seemed to think it was because he was embarrassed, but as Lynne opened his mouth, she quickly realized she was wrong… very, very wrong.

“Who’s quick, little imp?!” Lynne’s voice echoed against the walls of the small inn, stunning everyone inside. “If I wanted to, I’d outlast god of screwing, so bugger off! Quick?! The only thing quick about me is my tongue, so go back to spending ten hours to fondle and two minutes to climax!”

“What?!!” Lord Thun jumped out of his seat, his face incomparably ugly. Who has ever insulted him like that? What’s more, it’s just some 15 year old kid!

“What, are you both imp and deaf? Imp? Oh, impotent! So sorry,” Lynne’s expression suddenly changed to that of pity. “So many lavishing beauties surround you, yet you have a limp! Oh look, there’s imp again! Damn, you really are a tall one!”

“I’ll kill you brat!”

“Hei hei,” Lynne waved his arms defensively as he spoke. “I mean no harm! If I had known you can’t dip, I’d never mention you were an imp! Ah, I remember when I was 8 and was just like you…” Blegh! Stop lying you despicable brat!! “Alas, some men bear troubles, and some men are just bears.” Eh? “They can only taste the honey, but never produce it…” F*CK!!

“Ai ai,” Rylia’s face was full of worry as she dragged Lynne upstairs quickly. “He’s just a child Lord Thun! Please don’t take it to heart!”

“How can he not?” Lynne questioned as he was being dragged. “That’s the only place his blood can rush to.”

“…”

“…”

“…” Kid?! He’s a kid?! Not in a million years he’s not!!

Rylia finally managed to drag Lynne upstairs and into his room. Her face was slightly ashen as she stared at this youth in front of her. Lynne appeared calm and indifferent as he inspected his room, nodding in satisfaction a few times.

“Are you really a kid?” she asked at last.

“He he,” Lynne laughed innocently while his eyes finally couldn’t endure anymore, inspecting every inch of her body. “Forget my age, and answer me if someone crafted you!”

“Eh?!”

“You’re too beautiful! Sensational!” Lynne suddenly fell onto his knees. “Although you’re no match for my Nameless Lady, you’re definitely top three! Dammit! What are you doing here, wasting your best years with some improper fools? Impotent, improper imp with a limp can enjoy you, while I have to cross half the world just to see you?! Ah, heavens, why is life so unfair?”

“…”

“I want to touch.”

“…”

“Alright, fine, I won’t! That’s just because I respect you! So, to thank me for respecting you, can you let me touch?”

“…”

“Just for a second, I promise! I haven’t touched a woman in months, I’m going insane here!”

“…”

“Look, I know I’m heavenly handsome and all, but it’s not to the point of leaving people speechless!” There’s something wrong with this kid! Something very wrong! “Rylia, was it? Ah, what a heavenly name! What a heavenly sound it makes! Ah, you remind me of Lady Zin, Lady Ina, Lady Orichi, Lady Helena, Lady Tinna…” after about twenty more names. “Lady Sarah, Lady-- no, that’s about it. Others are a bit uglier.”

“… h-how old are you?”

“Ai, what’s with that question? Why is everyone asking for my age? Ah, what’s the age got to do with love? I love maidens of late! Screw young ones, let them bugger off! They lack qualifications to speak with me! Ah, if only I knew how to clone mature maidens… I’d clone ten thousand of you, and then ten thousand more…”

“Uh… so, uh, one night is ten gold.”

“Really?!” Lynne’s eyes lit up.

“For a room.”

“…”

“…”

“Let me touch?”

And so, Rylia left Lynne alone in his room. He barely stayed there for a few minutes before leaving, exploring the city. In about six hours, rumors began spreading throughout the town, and there was almost no one who didn’t hear a word or two about it.

“Did you hear?”

“What, what?”

“There’s apparently some kid on the streets ogling our older women and asking all sorts of weird stuff.” two younger girls were discussing amongst themselves.

“What weird stuff?”

“I heard he asked Sister Geya to sniff her feet and Sister Janie to suffocate him with her breasts.”

“What? Is he really a kid?”

“Yeah, I heard he’s not older than 15 apparently!”

“Ah, what’s wrong with kids today…”

“Shut up, we’re also kids.”

“True…”

Indeed, Lynne went on a form of a rampage. It was similar to what he did during his stay in Palace back in Edgemaw, except this time he meant it. As someone who never spent a week without visiting brothel for nearly four years, ever since he escaped Edgemaw he never as much as held a woman’s hand, to say of nothing else. As he was finally free of all duties, and as too many heavy things were weighing on his mind, he let his lips loose for a day, and asked practically every older woman in the town for a ‘favor’ or two.

Because they thought he was cute, most women actually let him do whatever he wanted. And so, Lynne spent hefty chunk of a day living in the bosoms—clouds, his heart unable to stop racing.

Moon hung beautifully on the sky, surrounded by stars, illuminating mostly tree and outer parts of Xenoy Town. Lynne was currently huddled up underneath sheets, his face bearing a beautiful smile as he gazed sideways. Next to him was a woman, her face adorned with first signs of wrinkles, who was staring back at him with a rather strange expression.

“What?” Lynne asked in the end.

“… you’re definitely no kid.”

“He he,” Lynne giggled innocently. “Ah, Sister Freya, you cannot understand how happy I am at the moment…”

“… I just thought you were never with a woman before, so I figured I’d help you out…”

“Ah, to be fair, I’ve never been with a woman such as yourself!” Lynne spoke shamelessly. “You truly are a prim and proper flower, blooming in the heavenly garden!”

“… everyone told me you were just a curious kid…”

“Curious? Of course I’m curious! Especially about what’s beneath the green sheets of a tree! Ah, when they flew as if carried by the wind, I nearly bled out rivers from my nose! Beautiful! Astounding! Heavenly!”

“… how long will you be staying here?”

“Oh? I don’t know. A day or two maybe.”

“Well, you’re not leaving this room for as long as you’re staying in town.”

“He he, there’s nothing out there, in the world, that’s of interest to me… for the time being.”

Lynne went back to his roots, to who he used to be well before his life was turned upside down. For the shortwhile, he didn’t care about the worldly happenings, about what he needed to do, about all the scattered mysteries and questions weighing on his mind. He had, for at least a few days, forgotten all of his troubles and let rivers carry them away. He was reminded why and how much he enjoyed the simple life.

He was woken in the morning by the bustle from the outside; as he perked his head through the window, his heart froze, his expression growing ugly. Ten or so black-clad figures, led by a woman he recognized, were walking through the city, inspecting every person carefully. Finally, after about five minutes, they seemed to have recognized someone, and, under the eyes of everyone present, beheaded the twenty-something youth on the spot. Lynne also recognized the youth: he was a part of the expedition in the ancient city, and one of the escapees from that day. Ai, you bunch of bastards, you can’t leave me alone even for a few days!!!