《The Legendary Heroes are Slacking Off [Isekai System LitRPG/Progression Fantasy]》12. I Am, So What?
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The woman’s face twitched. Immediately, she crossed her arms. The gentle look vanished, replaced by a vicious snarl. “You, them, everyone. No. I refuse!”
“I… haven’t even said anything yet,” Gale said.
She shook her head fiercely and stomped her foot. “I spent my first life as a wage slave to a shitty company. I refuse to be someone’s pawn in this life, too! I won’t! So take your heroic quest and shove it. I’m going to happily run an ice cream shop like I always dreamed of. I didn’t ask the Goddess for immense ice magic to go… subjugate monsters, or something! I did it for ice cream, dammit! Ice cream!”
Gale opened his mouth, then sighed. “Ma’am, please. The Demon King has my body. I just need some help to get it back.”
“Find your help somewhere else!” she snapped, scowling.
Kino cowered beside Gale. He glanced at the woman fearfully. “Gale…”
“No, I got it. Let’s go,” Gale said, sighing. If I learned anything from Arthur, it’s that you can’t push someone into something they don’t want. If this is what she wants… I guess that’s that.
He turned and began to walk away. Kino hesitated, looking at the huge churn for another few moments. At last, he gulped and turned away, following after Gale with a drooping head.
“Miss Sarah, I brought meat!” a rough voice announced.
Gale and Kino turned. Sarah gulped audibly.
A slender, lizard-like creature about Kino’s height stepped into the clearing, one of the deer Gale had seen earlier trussed up and slung over its shoulders. It sported a flat, lizardlike head with bulging eyes, a long body, and somewhat stubby limbs, plus a long tail that it lifted off the ground behind it. It wore no clothes, but mostly appeared lizardlike in appearance. Its only humanoid features were standing upright and rotating shoulder and hip joints, rather than the lizards’ more limiting joints. Blue and green scales shimmering in the sun, the lizard tossed the deer to the ground and put a claw on it. “You can make some of those buggers you like so much!”
“Burgers, Tysir,” Sarah replied distractedly.
“Burgers!” the lizardfolk said proudly. They turned, and finally caught sight of Gale and Kino. “Ah! Humans!”
Kino frowned. “We’re not—”
Gale clapped his hand over Kino’s mouth. An evil smirk crawled over his mouth. “That’s right. Humans.”
The lizardfolk fled into the forest, vanishing in a flash. Behind it, Sarah put her face in her hands.
“Now that we humans know your secret, why don’t you take a small break and help us go defeat the Demon King? You can probably handle him easily with your immense ice magic,” Gale said, grinning.
“No,” Sarah said flatly.
Pretending to be taken aback, Gale gasped. “No? I’m afraid we’ll have to—”
Something cold drifted down onto Gale’s body. He frowned and brushed a few snowflakes off his shoulders.
“G…gale,” Kino whispered, staring upward.
Gale glanced up, then turned and stared up. His eyes went wide.
A car-sized block of ice hovered over them, growing with every passing moment. Snowflakes dusted down, drifting all around them.
Gale threw his hands up. “It was a joke, a joke! We’re monsters too, I—”
The ice plunged. Kino grabbed Gale and threw them both out from under the ice. It slammed down seconds later, smashing into the earth.
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Breathing hard, Sarah gestured again. Ice began to condense above them once more. “I won’t. I refuse. You can’t make me!”
“Kino! Split!” Gale shouted. He ran left, and Kino split right. The ice crystal smashed into the ground, sending dirt and flowers flying.
Sarah’s eyes darted left and right. She flicked her hand. Razor-sharp icicles materialized before her, spread in a wide array. Slamming her hand out, she sent the icicles flying.
Shit! Gale threw his hands out. A shield of blood materialized before him. It slowed the icicles racing at them. They shuddered to a halt in midair.
All around him, icicles stabbed deep into the earth. One pierced into a tree behind him, drilling a hole into the trunk.
Gale swallowed. “She’s serious…”
Sudden cold fell over Gale. He glanced down. An icy blue rune swirled under his feet. He threw himself to the side, rolling across the ground. A second later, ice encased the place he’d stood.
“Sarah! It was a joke, a joke! We couldn’t force you to do anything if we wanted!” Gale shouted.
“Anyone who threatens my ice cream shop dies,” Sarah declared, slamming her hand down. Ice spikes burst under Gale’s feet, stabbing at his legs. He jumped backward toward the forest, barely dodging the growing spikes.
His back hit a tree. A second later, frost congealed over the tree’s surface. His shirt stuck to the tree, holding him in place.
Sarah’s eyes glowed. She raised her hand and made a grabbing gesture.
Gale dropped out of his shirt, leaving the hat behind as well. Thick frost encased them a second later, sealing them against the tree. Darting left and right, he charged at Sarah. She frowned and gestured. Ice stabbed out of the earth, slicing Gale’s shins and calves. A glob of ice smacked him in the gut, but he kept going. He threw a handful of blood at Sarah.
She jumped back, dodging. The blood splashed against the wall behind her.
“Kino, now! From behind!” Gale shouted.
Sarah flinched. She whirled, throwing out a blast of ice behind her.
High above her, hidden atop the thatched roof of the cottage, Kino looked up. “Huh? What?”
Gale jumped at Sarah. She turned again, but too late. His full weight slammed into her and carried her to the ground. Gale gestured, and a blade of blood appeared in his hand. He held it against her neck. “Stop attacking! We aren’t going to force you to do anything!”
[Prerequisites Acquired] [Skill Unlock!]
Fake Dagger
Blood is hard to crystalize and harden, but it’s easy to shape. Form a false weapon to trick your enemy into submitting! Careful, don’t touch them with the dagger, or they’ll find out it’s fake! Cost: 10 mana.
Lying on her back, Sarah blinked up at him. “An… elf? A Blood Mage elf?”
Gale sighed. He drew the blood back into his hand. “Guilty as charged. Look, I admit it. I briefly had delusions of blackmailing you, but look at me. I can’t actually threaten you. I’m more guilty for being a monster than you are for fraternizing with monsters.”
Sarah paused. She frowned. “That’s true.”
“Are you going to try to kill me if I get off you?” Gale asked.
“I’m going to kill you if you don’t,” she returned.
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Gale hopped directly off her, backing away warily. When no deadly icicles chased him, he glanced at the roof. “Kino. We’re done here. Let’s move on.”
Kino’s ears drooped, visible even under the hat. “But… the ice cream…”
“We aren’t wanted here. We should go,” Gale said, shaking his head.
Sarah crossed her arms. “I never said that. You’re always welcome as paying customers.”
“Got a hell of a way of making someone feel welcome,” Gale muttered under his breath. He reached the tree and yanked at his frozen shirt, trying to free it from the frost. The frost clung tight, refusing to release his shirt.
“Do you always immediately try to blackmail everyone you meet?” Sarah asked.
“Yep! He does,” Kino replied cheerfully, hopping off the roof.
“Kino, shh,” Gale said.
“You do?” Sarah asked, brows furrowing.
Gale shook his head. “Look. Twice is not a pattern. It’s just that every Legendary Hero I run into is too busy with something else, and I have to do something, right?”
“So… you go straight to blackmail?” Sarah asked, cocking an eyebrow.
Gale threw his hands up. “What am I supposed to do? Best you in mortal combat? Win you over with my love? My body is in the Demon King’s hands right now. Goddess only knows what horrible, disgusting things he’s doing to it—”
“—if it’s even still alive,” Sarah pointed out.
“If it’s even still alive! It’s stressing me out a little, you know? Alright, granted. Maybe I’ve made a few bad decisions because, dammit, I don’t have my body! But wouldn’t you?”
The lizardfolk peered out of the undergrowth. Slitted eyes glanced left and right. At last, tongue flicking, they stepped out into the clearing. “It’s safe now?”
“They’re monsters, too. It’s fine,” Sarah said, waving her hand. The frost holding the shirt to the tree vanished just as Gale tugged at it with all his might.
He fell backward onto his rear with a thump. “Ow!”
“I get that you’re worried about your body, but blackmail isn’t a great choice. Next time, try something else, like asking nicely,” Sarah said.
“Yeah, because that works so well,” Gale muttered. He waved his hand before Sarah could offer another idea. “I get it. I get it. I won’t resort to blackmail.”
A devious smirk slid across his face. Quietly, he added, “…immediately.”
“Gale!” Kino admonished him.
Sarah sighed. “I won’t go with you, but I’m sure someone will. You’ve got to keep asking.”
“How many Legendary Heroes are there? How many chances do I have?” Gale asked rhetorically.
“Hundreds, probably,” Sarah said.
“I… huh?” Gale blinked, lost.
Sarah nodded. “I know at least a dozen. And that’s in the immediate area, the places I’ve travelled to in my short time here.”
“Then… wait, eh? But Kino… said only a few are famous adventurers…?” Gale looked at Kino, who nodded back at him, brows furrowed as well.
“I don’t know about that, but there’s more of us than you’d think,” Sarah assured him.
“Huh. Well, that’s a load off my shoulders,” Gale said.
Between them, the lizardfolk cleared its throat. “Should I… clean the deer for buggers?”
“Out back, Tysir. Out back,” Sarah emphasized.
Gale and Kino exchanged a glance. Gale shrugged. “Er, sorry about that, Miss Sarah. I shouldn’t have blackmailed you.”
“Damn straight you shouldn’t have,” Sarah said, putting her hands on her hips.
“I guess we’re done here,” he said awkwardly.
“I guess you are.”
Gale turned away. Kino hesitated, looking at Sarah for another few beats. He glanced at the churn, then at Gale.
“Kino, come on,” Gale called.
Kino bounced after him, though reluctantly.
“Kid. You a hero, too?” Sarah asked.
Gale stopped, waiting on the path.
Kino shook his head. “I’m a beastfolk.”
“Where are your parents? Aren’t they worried about you?” Sarah asked.
Kino twitched. He shook his head.
“No?”
“I don’t have parents,” Kino declared.
Sarah sighed. “Look, kid, don’t follow this man. He won’t lead you anywhere good.”
“What?” Gale asked, frowning.
“He saved me,” Kino said. His hair bristled subtly, and he narrowed his eyes at Sarah.
“You don’t owe him anything. He’s a visitor. He doesn’t care about you, or this world. You can’t trust him,” Sarah said, shaking her head.
“Hey! What the hell?” Gale shouted, frustrated. I’m not any of that! I… I am a visitor, and alright, I don’t really care about this world, but I care about Kino! I don’t want to see him hurt! What are you spouting off about? You don’t know me.
“Shut up! What do you know, you stupid ice lady?” Kino snarled, cutting off Gale before he could say anything. He turned and stomped off, rushing past Gale. “Come on. Let’s go.”
Gale stared at Sarah. He frowned at her.
“Before you hurt him, I want him to know,” Sarah said, glaring back at him.
Gale shook his head and turned away. I don’t know what her problem is, but it isn’t mine.
They walked back along the path. Kino walked slowly, his ears drooping under his hat, eyes locked on the path. Gale cast a few looks his way, then sighed. “Kino. What she said—”
“It isn’t true. I know.” He scowled at the ground.
Gale nodded quietly. He sighed, then shrugged. Oh well. Someone with her attitude wouldn’t fit in with the team anyways. We’ll find someone else.
“But… how can someone who makes something so sweet… be so bitter?” Kino asked quietly.
Gale looked at Kino, then burst out laughing. He tried to reign it in, but failed. Stifling his laughter with a fist, he shook his head.
“What? What did I say?” Kino demanded.
“Nothing, it’s… it’s just…” Saying that like it broke your heart… Kino, you’re too pure! Gale laughed harder, rubbing his face.
Kino chuckled, not sure why, but unable to stop himself. “Gaaaale.”
“No, no. I’m sorry,” Gale chuckled. With a few last gasps, he managed to bite back his laughter.
The bushes rustled from their left. Gale and Kino both whirled, eyes narrowed, reaching for their weapons. Conscious of Kino after Sarah’s accusation, Gale jumped in front, holding out his dagger. “Who is it?”
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